Once upon a time, my definition of fun was bar-hopping, popping champagne and guzzling spirits. It seemed like great fun at the time but I knew there should have been something else besides that. At weekends and holidays it was about drinking. Even when on a trip the bottle is never far away. You know if not for the way it is here, many should be termed alcoholics and recommended for rehab - I for one should have - like in more developed countries.

I have come to realise through a renewing of the mind that all that was more as a result of a lack of a definite major purpose. Clearly excessive drinking could be detrimental to health so why would a person with a great purpose in life seek to cut life short for themselves. There are so many fun things to do in life even work is fun when you do something you're passionate about. It only takes a mind shift to start to realise that some things do not make sense and then seek to find and go with those that do. Honestly many who have fat bank accounts still drift through the world without a definite purpose, if not do you imagine what this nation would be like considering there are quite a number of people who claim to be rich.

Lacking a defined purpose in life is worst than poverty if you ask me, because with a purpose you have a good road map of your destination, that means you are bound to get there sooner or later. As long as you remain focused, you would subsequently get to that destination, going past those drifting around without a purpose. No matter how rich a people appear to be, without a defined purpose they would find themselves being thrown all around by circumstances surrounding their lives. We have heard of lottery winners of millions of dollars end up flat broke and even more familiar cases of celebrities ending up bankrupt.

The hardest thing about finding your definite major purpose is bringing yourself to try. The rest is a piece of cake especially when you position yourself in environments that simplify the process.

Quite often, a lot of people find themselves with issues defining their definite life purpose. They lack self-fulfillment and know they aren't accomplishing much and also know they ought to be doing more with their lives but just seem lost and confused as to what it is. Usually this leads them to working jobs they don't desire and just have to do to make ends meet, ending up unhappy, stressed and angry. This results in them transferring their aggression to coworkers, friends, family and people they come across daily at some point.

I can relate with that because it is an experience I have felt and really did not like. It gets worse because we spend so much time at the workplace and being often exposed to such environment means that we would just get that feeling over and over again, making it a part of us and depriving us of so much pleasant things like love, happiness, friendship and the feeling of fulfillment.

Honestly we do not have to go through it, and only do so because we unconsciously choose to. We do not need to work jobs we do not find pleasant and satisfactory. As a matter of fact, we can do the things we desire and pursue our dream careers only if we decide that we want to do so. And when we are doing the things we are passionate about, we stand a better chance of success and this eventually leads to more efficiency at the workplace, healthier relationships and marriages and a happier life.

The only way to achieve this is to first discover your definite major purpose which is the driving force to lead to success and then seek and accomplish goals in that respect. When you realise the power you possess to create the life you desire, then you can strive to do just that. And this is one of the many needs for self-development.

Development or deployment?


A tribe can simply be put as a group of people who share common beliefs, interests, or jobs.
Unlike the traditional tribes we know of, some tribes are bound more by interests and beliefs, rather than origin and do not need a very close proximity to function especially with the emergence of social media. Now every tribe requires a leader to organise it and being that we are all leaders, it is appropriate to be part of a tribe.

We have tribes without leaders as well as we have leaders without tribes. However a person who strives to grow in the journey of self-development cannot be said to do so without a tribe. We should ask that person who they move with, who they hang around most times. If they are more often seen with people different from them and without common interests of self-development, then I tell you that person can hardly grow.

The reason is that the influence from the other group is all too strong enough to make you forget the conscious process of self-development and self-awareness. It is a lot easier to indulge in negative habits than positive ones, hence the need to spend lots of time with those who tread the same path as you. For the more you are exposed to and influenced by great people, the easier you learn to adapt to their own habits. One of the best advice I've received is to point out those people you wish to be like, spend more time with them and do what they do.

Now do you believe you are really developing or being deployed by circumstances?
Show me your tribe and I will tell you how much growth you have achieved.

OLAADEGBU:


Ignorance is not a virtue, help yourself by clicking on the thread I suggested on what it means to judge not. ==>
https://www.nairaland.com/832839/judging-others#13628048

"Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment" (John 7:24).

It's says judge not and says judge according to righteous judgment and that is for you to determine your ways. You're not only judging, you're condemning as well.

OLAADEGBU:


I can only advise you to enlighten yourself so that you do not expose your ignorance on the public forum. False humility is not Christianity.

The following thread will help you in this adventure: https://www.nairaland.com/832839/judging-others#13628048

Humility is a virtue, so can't be false. Light and darkness don't mix. Don't judge....Focus on Jesus Christ.

Annunaki:


Obviously you have no clue about what islam is all about. Islam is not just any other religion, it is THE ANTI-CHRIST.

All the same don't judge. Focus on Jesus Christ.

OLAADEGBU:


I'm not only raising an alarm for a faulty elevator I am suggesting that folks put on Jesus as a parachute for those jumping out of falling airplane because they cannot land safely by flapping their hands.

The title of the post alone totally condemns another religion. You should worry about yourself first cause I know Jesus spoke against judging others. So it's either you're not studying the Bible, or you choose to disobey Him. May we find the grace to really live like Christ....Amen!

dearpreye:
Moments ago I was reading one of my favourite books by Jim Rohn, and I came across one of the most powerful lines I've read in the book: Things hardly improve of their own accord in a person's life! And immediately the words sunk into me, and I stood up and paced up and down my room, shouting and talking those words.

Indeed, things don't improve on their own accord. We must change them. We must improve ourselves for things to improve. Nothing changes until we change. Everything will remain the same until we change. Our health, finances, relationships, businesses, etc, will remain the same until we change. Only us can change our situations. We have all it takes to change them. It's not enough to complain about them. We must change them.

Sir Isaac Newton's First Law states that an object will remain in a perpetual state of rest until some external forces act upon it. I doubt if the genius knew the law will be so universal that it won't be narrowed to physics and science! Yes. Things will remain the same until we act appropriately. If things must change, we must change first. We must change our habits, values and traditions for things to change.

If we must see and enjoy a greater future, we must change NOW. We must drop all habits that are militating against our progress and growth. We have the power. We have the will. We just have to make the choice to change.

Till we change, NOTHING changes. If we keep repeating the same weak rituals and habits, we will keep reaping the same things. It's a law.

CC: Mikwus, bare1, kaboninc, Specialist900, MizMyColi, Happiness87, Stephanie75, freeage7, Ideykwum,

We are the creators of our life, we really are. The life i desire is like a movie in my mind. You're writing your own story. What story would you write for yourself?

OLAADEGBU:


If you are aware that a faulty lift/elevator in a tower block could cause the death of people using it would you raise and alarm to prevent them from impending catastrophe?

You're not raising alarm for a faulty elevator, you're condemning others' religion. What if, just what if you are wrong?

OLAADEGBU:


That will be a good proposition .

Thank you. However we need not be judges of other people and their religion, that's not our purpose on Earth. The Almighty is the judge, rather pray that the truth be revealed to more people.

God bless

princehb:
I AM NOT JUST IN THIS WORLD TO ADD UP TO THE NUMBER OF PERSONS, I HAVE A PURPOSE HERE.


Tell that to yourself everyday, and spend the whole day living that purpose. What if you are yet to find that purpose??..then you need to talk to bare1 or dearpreye. *smiles*


Greetings!

The power of self-talk is amazing.

If you want to be happy, you have to be happy on purpose. When you wake up, you can't just wait to see what kind of day you will have. You have to desire what kind of day you will have.

- Joel Osteen

MadCow1:
Buhari should find Work for this Navy people biko..


See wetin boredom dey cause. Them carry Government Boat enter High Sea just to snap Selfie..



If the Navy does not have who to kill, they should convert all those war ships to Fishing Boat and start catching fishes to help our economy.

Eeyah... sorry

It's possible. It's a matter of time management. You need to create a to-do list and plan your time around all the activities you have, including having good rest.

dearpreye:


I agree....With every passing moment it becomes clearer that where I am at the moment IS the summation of all the habits and decisions I've taken down the years.

True.....if you want to know the quality of your thoughts, check your results and what you're producing.

dearpreye:


Good for you sir. It's now very much obvious success is never an accident.

No it's not bro, it's a journey riddled with the process of conscious thought and awareness and applied through a set of plans.

dearpreye:


Obviously, you've planned everything out from years back.

Well I've always known I didn't wanna work a job even while in Uni so when I first read rich dad, poor dad I found what was missing. But honestly, it was until I started the journey of change that I started to see my life ahead of me. I was first amazed how clear it was, but as it got clearer, I got more confident.

dearpreye:


Hmmm! Well, I guess I didn't know what you o ow early enough. No excuse though. You've thought really well.

dearpreye:


I think I agree with your opening comment. Sometimes I'll speak and speak for more than hour and still has enough desire and passion to continue. It sure gives me joy! When I chose to HSE professional I never really knew I'll be going deeper into understanding humans and their underlying behaviours.

It's so fulfilling combining personal development with my career job. It gives me a greater sense of fulfilment.

I believe we can keep getting better and seek opportunities to meet other like minded folks with who we could get a wider scope.

You're pursuing a nice career, a crucial one too. As a matter of fact anything that gives us fulfillment is what we should pursue. Personally I've never fancied the idea of a job and so I go blank at the thought of it. I've always wanted to be free as a bird to diversify into my numerous interests and monetize them all. So I thought I shouldn't spend my best years building someone else's dream. If anything, I should spend my strong years working on my dream so I don't even bother about retirement since I would be living my dreams.
Some would say I'm thinking business like an Igbo man which I am but not so, this is business building, something I learnt from Robert Kiyosaki years ago and also from following Richard Branson.

dearpreye:


You're right. The more you know and understand a matter, you humbler you become and greater your desire to assist and encourage others.

I was travelling from Owerri just a few days back. Somehow I raised the issue of education and it's challenges. From there I diverted into the need for everyone to develop themselves. When I was done talking, it was obvious I was doing what really gives me fulfilment.

That's great bro. It's clear that you just might have found your definite major purpose, your core values that gives you joy to see other people want to get better and help them in doing so. What greater purpose in life than to help people. I urge you to go all out in it, I can assure there's a lot you can achieve doing it besides that fulfillment which is already a great feeling on its own.
If you decide to do so, we can work together. I like to connect with coaches and someday we just might form a worldwide network.

dearpreye:


I'm currently making some arrangements to share some thought on personal development with some undergraduates very soon. I'm so passionate about their getting free what I paid and spent years to get. When you get a vision as this, you can hardly keep it to yourself.

Like I said bro, you're coming from a good place. You've got good intentions and those intentions will take you far. One day I know many more people will learn to live right and as well create success and wealth for themselves.

dearpreye:


Thanks boss. In recent times I've found myself almost always wanting to encourage people everywhere I go to pursue their own development . And I seem to just flow well along as I drop a few words with them.

That's good brother. You're coming from a good place and that's to show you're developing because as you do, you realise the need for others to become better and as you go in deeper, you just wanna help them.

dearpreye:


Thanks bro. I'm also done with them. Had to suspend my personal development books for a short while, though I still occasionally peep into them. They've formed a part of my life.

That's good to here, you're surely on a path to greatness. And by the way, welcome back to the personal development world

dearpreye:


Thanks for the explanation. I'm really taken aback with the Romania train talk. I guess the society's aware of the danger of not reading, so it's encouraging it's people to read.

It's really encouraging, an initiative of a book lover himself and gladly the mayor of that city bought into it. Though it lasted for a short while, it did make a great impact.

One day we're gonna get there ourselves. We just need to influence and make nation builders with the knowledge of true leadership and capacity building.

dearpreye:


How do you understand the above quote sir?

Well people who read books tend to spend more time at it and less at unproductive activities in addition to the knowledge they acquire. You cannot read in disorderliness so where a person sits an read, there's order. Recently I read in Romania, free train rides being given to those who read on it. I guess that's to encourage more people to read.

dearpreye:


Bro, I'm sorry. I've been writing some very important examinations. I'll be through soonest.

I'm happy you got the message I passed across. I may not have captured it perfectly but it's good to know you got the message.

It's cool brother. I wish you all the best in your examinations.

dearpreye:


My dear, good afternoon. I'm just reluctant about it shaaa....You may copy it shaaa......

You know this is your forte. LOL!

Why reluctant Sir? People need to learn this stuff.

francizy:
I still maintain that skills does it all. Education to me is just a plus. Academic learning without skills to back it up, does little to elevate one especially in a difficult country like ours.

If I had known how much skills are worth, how much people make for doing what they love doing rather than what the society wants from them, I'd have studied either Fine Arts, Architecture or Industrial Design. Because these are courses laced with real time practice whether in an advanced country or a country like ours. I used to be very good at reproducing pictures with pencil. Now I would have probable made millions doing my own thing order than banking on the dy/dx and strength of materials the university taught me.

My children will all be enrolled in one training school or the other from their JSS1 (based on the orientation given to them and based on what they choose to learn) and whenever they are on long break. As their dad, I will make sure they balance these skills perfectly well with academics.

Don't get me wrong tho, education is great but the best thing to do for a child is teaching that kid how to make it in life. Apparently, our educational system teaches one how to be dependent and that is why we have hundreds of thousands of job seekers out there.

Now we emphasize on how important education is and then push all our kids to school. Some of them excel in their academics and we love, cherish and shower them with gifts while we despise those ones who don't perform well in school. We've never asked ourseleves questions like, what if the ones taking first position lacks the practical prowess and ability to get things done while the supposed "dull" one might be a practical guru and his brains tend to pick up moving objects better than stories on text books?

Will they swallow the skills? Wouldn't they still be educated?

“Someone reading a book is a sign of order in the World,”

- Mary Ruefle

Joskiro50:
Value is simply the usefulness and importance of something or someone. It was Albert Einstein that advised that one shouldn’t try to be a person of success but to rather be a person of value. I believe the reason he said this is that value is directly connected to success. The equation is simple, the more valuable you are, the more successful you are. We shouldn’t equally forget that value is connected to influence. When value grows, influence grows. Here are ways to become a person of value and influence;

1. Find and pursue Purpose and passion:

The great and influential men and women the world has ever known where those who discovered and pursued their purposes and were driven by their passions. When you are on the path of purpose, it is easier to add significant value to the lives of people. You will hardly be of any significant value to people or influence them when you don’t know where you are going. Purpose ignites passion which keeps one motivated, inspired and focused. You need all that to be valuable and influential.

2. Embrace Personal development:

Becoming a person of value and influence demands embracing a life long pursuit of personal development. Personal development is a process of understanding and developing oneself to realize one’s fullest potential. The extent to which you are able to add value and influence others depends on the extent to which you have been able to develop yourself. Every raw material has little or no value. It actually becomes valuable after it has been refined. Take time to refine yourself in every area. That could be hard but it is quite rewarding. Daily ask yourself, “What do I need to learn or do to become a better person? Your value depends on the value you offer.

3. Choose A Problem You Can Solve For People:

To be a person of value and influence, you have to become genuinely interested in people enough to solve a specific problem for them. Think of what you can do to make lives better. The more people you solve their problems, the more valuable and influential you become.

4. Be Original and Unique:

When we live our lives mimicking or imitating others, it steals our originality. Guess what? Imitations don’t get much attention, originals do. I believe you’ve heard that when you imitate someone else, the best you can be is second best. That’s very true. To be a person of influence don’t be any one else. Be YOU. Yes! YOU.

5. Pursue Excellence:

Becoming a person of value and influence is not going to be much about what you do but about how well you do it. It is said that whatever worth doing is worth doing well. Go beyond the usual. Add a touch of class in all you do. That’s what excellence is all about. But mind you it is not the same as perfection.

6. Encourage & Inspire Others:

Someone once said a candle does not go off by lightning another. Find a way to encourage and inspire others to be all they can be. Empower, share your knowledge and skills with others. Your value and influence is connected to the number of lives that are better because of you.

7. Exude Confidence: Self-confidence is one quality that’s very admirable. it is about knowing what you want and having the courage and boldness to go for it. When you are self-confident, people easily get attracted to you and when you do no have it, the opposite becomes the case. Are you wondering why? The reason is simple. What value do you think a person who does not believe in himself can offer? Your guess is as good as mine.

8. Integrity: It is true that none of us is perfect but for you to be a person of value and influence you have to be able to earn people’s confidence and trust. You should be able to live by certain values that uphold sound moral principles. Integrity means doing the right thing at all times and in all circumstances, whether or not it is convenient. It is about being sincere and real. It is about being honest enough to admit it when you are wrong. It is your “yes” as “yes” and your “no” as “no”. It is people trusting you not for any other reason but because you have earned their trust.

Great post Sir. Are you into any personal development programs?

UjSizzle:
It's sad that useful articles like this one get less than 10,000 page views.

Good job OP.

10,000 views in a bit