But why are people so concerned about what the other person is doing, want to do, have chosen to do to his ass hole or what a lady wants to insert in her vagina What's the government wahala in it self?


Mtcheeeew...
So long they don't trample on another person's right, the law should stay out of it and face real problems. Gays and lesbians are the least of our worries.

richommie:


A picture won't be bad


#YOLO

It's a shame we can't edit our profile. Woulda dropped it there

Chopped off my hair on Monday

Fresh air...very sweet

ashewoboy:


i know you are not among them.

I appreciate your vote of confidence. Welcome back

dingbang:
lol I didn't expect dis short comment from u

That's the best I can do. It would be futile to engage in an argument... Moreover, he's somewhat right, he is just gender biased. Both sexes have refused to get themselves informed.

Okay.

thesuave10:


Yes it has . So attraction is not a choice huh? .

It's not.

thesuave10:


"Attraction" that beautiful word. Define it in your words

Shebi it haff quickly turned to question and answer session...ko si wahala

Attraction to me is the interest or pull your have towards and an object or individual

dingbang:
easy na.. if u continue like this, I won't have friends

If you are a smooth talker and good at studying people before approaching them, you are good to go.

thesuave10:


What kinda shoes should we put in, heels?? I'll pass bro

I don't get it

thesuave10:


Actually the guy wants to take you out. Chris Rock will explain the "I want your number line" better for you

I'm not the lady in question, bro.
One thing is clear, you are in your 'happy hour' tonight.

thesuave10:


Why you gotta slam in his face like that

If there was a way I could employ euphemism, I'm not sure I would. When the truth is garnished, it sometimes loses its flavour.

Well, she not being attracted to him does not mean he is not attractive to someone else.

dingbang:
See as beamborla and colik and yuneehk don finish d op

This is far from finishing, it's the bitter truth.

I personally have a line i just give out(i don't pick calls on this line except for numbers I've saved on the line) so I don't appear 'rude' and to avoid conversations like why don't you want to give me your number... I'm always tempted to say 'I owe you no explanation'

Guys need to understand that one can't give attention to every Tom Dick and Harry we come across. There are even days you just want to go unnoticed and not in the mood to entertain any pleasantry.

And yes, no one should hit me with the 'it's does not necessarily mean he wants to ask you out or 'you don't know who is who' song. It's not everyone you let in and sometimes, your spirit and everything in you can just disagree completely with the other person.

She's obviously not attracted to you and does not see the possibility of a future attraction.

Toks2008:


That is why I wrote about maintaining the condition.

You meet a sex dynamo and he makes your head spin in the bedroom and you say you just love him for real...he is broke,jobless and very arrogant but you say you just love him but in essence it is his koboko that you love then something happens and the koboko stops working and the other crazy stuffs become an issue and you are left with two options...TOLERATE OR LEAVE

Many marriages turn from real desire to tolerance in a short while and when you ask the couple,they call it love.

Can a man still love a lady who does not respect him, cook for him or allow him sx? I guess if there is anything like loving for real then no circumstance ought to tilt the emotional balance.

My advice for you..when a guy says I love you please ask him what he sees in you that makes him "love" u and once he tells you, try to maintain that condition or you stand the risk of being dumped...FACT!

You only keep scratching the surface and going off... Perhaps, you don't understand me.

Have a nice evening

Toks2008:


All these theory is the reason why many marriages will crash and why many ladies will keep running from pillar to post looking for a man to love them for real.

I insist that there is nothing like loving anyone for real.

Talking about imperfections I guess there is also a limit to that...I can't love a sexually loosed lady in the name of loving for real neither can you love a man who is totally off from the qualities you want.

When you meet someone new just identify why you love that person and hope that reason is maintained else there will always be a break in the affair.

Moral decadence and imperfection especially in the context I used it are two different things.

You didn't answer my question. You maintained there is nothing like loving someone for real, in your opinion, it's about identifying the reasons for loving the person and hope it's maintained. The possibility that life can happen and some of the reasons for loving the person disappears can not be overulled. Another is that it's possible to come across another person with the 'reasons' and even more. How do you deal with such situation if the love is not for real.

Toks2008:


No man really loves you for real but there must be something he sees in you,about you,around you that makes him want you.

If I see a lady who is sexually pleasing to my eyes I simply go for her but will I say I love her for real?

Are there Noth several other ladies out there with no good curves and not too presentable?

If you ask me, going after a lady because you find her sexually appealing is not even love in the first place. That's lust.

When people talk about being loved for real, they are referring to the ability of the person to see all their imperfections and accept it. They are referring to the ability of the person to see beyond their physical appearance and be aware of other treasures embedded in them.

Truth is, you'd always come across people who posses that which you find attractive in your partner and even more. You'd meet people better than your partner, people who meet your standards, who have qualites you never knew you'd find attractive. If it's all about your submission, what should one do when that happens?

This issue has been discussed in different forms/ways/format... It's fast becoming a cliché, and is already beginning to lose its value.


However, that of 'a man loving me for real', I don't get how that is out of place. Can you, please, explain further.

Why is the pressure to compromise always on ladies?

Sweet boy

She's right...

Stop sniffing ass holes... It's called ass hole for a reason.

Abi you want it to be smelling jellof rice ni

She should break up with him for her own good.

it's normal for people to get attached to those who treat then well and listen to them. You both can't be sure just yet that what you have for each other is indeed love.

After her break up, you two should give it time. Allow her heal, spend time away from each other so you can sort out your feelings. If the fire is still there, go for it.


Things will never be the same between you and your friend.

Lemme come and be going.

fabrista:
which degree?? A degree in mass communication, marketing, sociology, edu economics. etc you call that degree?

I'm not understanding....

A degree in mass communication is not a degree

Truckpusher:
Another of my loff

Howdy ?

Very fine. Compliments of the season

Truckpusher:
My loff

Ayaf missed you oh

Welcome back

Jayson1:
Sometimes I do see him as someone with mental disorder marked by memory failures but there's nothing i can do to help his condition.


*I wonder how he's girlfriend feel at this.

If she's aware of how he feels, then no use wondering. She's either strong enough or stupid enough.

Jayson1:
But my friend with an extreme self-confidience will disagree with you on that @the bolded. He finds trust as a weak emotion.

BTW, you're welcome.

Then how does he live? In constant paranoia? That's unhealthy.

TheCOB:


My question was unrelated to the earlier discussion which you quoted. It was in no way to discredit your comment.

I only asked to get you into the conversation by sharing your thoughts and so since you had mentioned effective communication, I asked that you expatiate on it.

I don't know how to reply this.

But I just answered your question.

TheCOB:


Thanks for dropping by dear.
Welcome to The COB!

Please share, what would you term effective communication in a relationship?

Communication is not effective when the sender and the receiver do not have a shared meaning. There are lots of things involved in communication from tone of voice to body language to body posture to eye contact down to choice of words. Even the environment and mood have roles to play. All of these can either enhance or distort the decoding of a message by the receiver.

You have not communicated effectively if the receiver is unable to decode the message you are sending better than you meant it or just as you meant it.

I'm trying to explain this without going into mass communication jargons. Simply put, if the receiver is not on the same page with you the sender, then effective communication is yet to talk place

TheCOB:
Next, you mentioned lack of communication.
Indeed this is a key player in the breakdown of many relationships.

But the question is: Why and How does the communication flow break down in relationships?

Toyin loves to talk to Nkem about all the tiny details of her day. She would go from the neighbor that snored all afternoon, to Mama Ada who came visiting and Tope's husband who can't seem to walk without dragging his feet. Nkem would listen and even occasionally nod from time to time, but he would never share about his own day. This isn't really because of anything negative, but because Nkem just prefers to talk less.
After a while, Toyin begins to feel like the talkative in the relationship. She assumes that perhaps Nkem's lack of gist is because he is bored by her endless talks. So she tries to make 'adjustments', albeit adjustments that are uncalled for. She consciously picks out the stories to share and the ones to keep to herself assuming in doing so that she is sparing him some drama.
But the truth is: Gisting about all those tiny details are what glows the spark for Toyin and she is slowly losing it. Before long she no longer feels that surge of excitement to burst out info to Nkem.
Definitely, he notices that she is no longer sharing all her tiny details with him, she is more withdrawn these days..... He thinks "Maybe she is tired.... Or there could be someone else......." Slowly and subconsciously he withdraws...
Before any of us can spell Jack, the walls of that relationship is fast cracking. The diagnosis given at first glance is "Lack of communication".

But was it really? Or wasn't there something else influencing the end product?

Communication is not all about talking about random activities, ma'am. There are people who talk less but still communicate effectively with their partners. Communication in relationships is more about putting everything about the relationship into words and backing it by actions where necessary to eliminate wrong assumptions/conclusions.

If they had been having effective communication, she would have understood his type of person instead of assuming.

Jayson1:

Very sweet of you to have mentioned me but I'm afraid I'm not much of an authority when it comes to romance.

Nevertheless, I'd tie everything down to communication... Not just communication, but effective and honest communication.

In addition, you have no business dating someone you can't or do not trust.

emusmithy:
I don't know about you but to see myself in this last lap of the year is pretty ecstastic!

I'm full of praises to my God who made it possible; my mum and siblings who stood with me through thick and thin!

I look at myself and I know all was because God stood by me.

To my friends here on Nairaland:

sunshine46(f), delishpot, Rutirexa(f), Ebuka2016(m), MarilynNash(f), misspicy(f), prettyAdaolisa(f), rubsaphy(f), Adanna86(f), purplesummer(f), Beamborla(f), Prettygarllardo(f), Nukualofa, djkaycee001(m), mhizmarch(f), CaraJewel(f), Debbywills(f), Mimienudles(f), SweetieConstie(f), christinnah(f), lilyqueen(f), deb303(f), swaswa1(m), MzPecs(f), prettyjo(f), Idyllic, jennifer10066(f), Wolexdey(m), Taio23(m), brightdv(m), fpeter(f), Jummeee(f), TeejayMaya(m), anthoniaz(f), khaykay15(f), jenigurl(f), oghenetega100(f), amtaken(f), chocolateme(f), Houseofglam7(f), Joygalore(f), Freakypinky(f), layla129(f), niverah(f), Janeify(f), refiner(f), Allsmyles(f), Nimk(f), veralu(f), Nickymezor(f), RomanyChi(f), Tynasparks(f), Misternas89(m), shumuel(m), jboy73, myfantasies(f), MzUkay24(f), mhizenugu(f), Sexina851(f), Bushesbae(f), cindybella101(f), Pinkiedearie(f), Mhizizzy(f), jenchid(f), EllisMorgan(f), aalangel(f), kenonze(f), Cherlene(f) etc...

Nairaland has taught me some vital life's lessons; Be patient with people.

Say Thank You in your language!

Good morning!

It's indeed the Lord's doing. Oluwa Seun.