₦airaland Forum

TV01:
Thank you Bellong. I always testify how mine was by the grace of God. It is He who delivers. The reason I took a more generalist approach to this piece was so that all men can relate. I am chastened !

Ecclesiastes 7:26 And I find more bitter than death The woman whose heart is snares and nets, Whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her, But the sinner shall be trapped by her.

If young women are sluts and gold diggers, did sluttery and gold digging start today. If young women can have children out of wedlock or baggage, cannot older women. All I am hearing is potential issues that can arise - which are not tied to age, or about compatibility per se?

One day I may relate my encounter with a possessed woman. Her parents knew and covered it up and earnestly tried to sell me on her. They were actually in fear of her - indeed there is a God.

The biological imperatives and relationship dynamics between men and women are pretty much unchanging. All told, stray from these and you will bear your burden. No one has made a cogent rebuttal to anything I have written. When they do so, I will acknowledge - and respond.


TV

Guess we had same experience. Although, the parents of mine never knew. To the glory of God, she is completely free from it and happily married today.

naijababe:
Bellong, be thankful, while we all like to take credit for our good decisions, let us not lose sight of how taking certain things into the hands of God makes all the difference.
I recall that I fasted for 7 days on top this matter to get the right direction, I was much younger, not particularly looking, had just broken off a long-term relationship and just felt like the right thing to do at that time

Your conclusion only strengthens my position. Nowhere have I given credit to self but trying to say many people leave out one at the expense of the other which is a recipe for failure. If any should be left out, the spiritual direction is not what should be compromised.

When Elijah was instructed to annoint Hazael King over Syria, Jehu over Israel and Elisha as prophet, the words that follow is, "...him that escape the sword of Hazael shall Jehu slay and he that escape Jehu shall Elisha slay..."

Summary, like I said earlier, marriage is not entered into with logic alone. There is the spiritual sensitivity. The part that you miss in logic and investigation, you get from the spirit.

I maintain that we all can know if we want to know. Sincerity, thoroughness, openness and commitment are what is needed.

naijababe:
Bellong, how could he have found out especially if her family are in cahoots with her ?

bellong:
I understand the part of grace but many do fail in what they should do.
As Christians, approaching the issue of marriage require both spiritual sensitivity and being street smart.

Street smart is adopting basic investigation techniques in background check. Stroll to her area, talent spot people you believe can have info about her (be careful with the info given). Try to get to know her university colleagues if you could go through the stress. Ask question in a place of work, etc... These are the things I did coupled with what I got divinely.

How do you expect to get info from her parents? It is not even advisable asking for their opinions as they naturally will create a good picture of their daughter.

edwife:
He did,trust me.They dated for 2 years-the girl was good and her family was super good.They had it all covered.God was just on our side.

Bellong just like many men today are not fathers to their first children.It is a complicated world out there,we live by grace and those of us who have it good,need to be grateful.

I understand the part of grace but many do fail in what they should do.

As Christians, approaching the issue of marriage require both spiritual sensitivity and being street smart. I knew every detail about my wife before I even approach her. People are very thorough about stuffs that are temporary but when it comes to the institution that can mar or break their destinies, they handle it with levity.

The world is complicated but God in His infinite mercies doesn't leave us clueless. It is why you guys found out before entering one chance. The girl acted stupidly, your brother could have gone ahead with her had it been she was truthful from the beginning. At least, some people here advocated keeping such secret from potential spouse because what is in the past should stay in the past.

edwife:
We pay more bride price than we receive and everytime a girl is getting married in my family,we make it huge!All my uncles,cousins get involved.
[b]My blood brother was deceived by a lady,she was 26 when we paid for her bride price-[/b]we were preparing for marriage when we discovered that she had an 11 years old son somewhere leaving with his father. She didn't look the part,nothing on her could tell you that she had a child.
But some were not too lucky as they live with such women.

Your brother, like many others including female, didn't do his proper background check and digging. If he had done it, he would have uncovered what was closely hidden.

keppyy:
Lols...

You're becoming a terrorist...

No more onuunuu for you...

I do drive a Mercedes Benz 200, 1979. Four speed manual transmission.

I have this emotional attachment to the car, I couldn't leave her to buy another vehicle.

One day, on Ilorin- Ogbomoso expressway, a Toyota Camry tried to show his 4cylinder engine can move better than my old wife. I taught him a lesson that being old does not mean weakness on the road.

I drove past him, honk my horn and made this scornful smile at him. I love that car...

@200km/h, it still drives firm and strong compared to those plastic cars that feel like paper when you reach 120km/h.

Kimoni:


I give up

I take down...

Kimoni:


s'il vous plaît expliquez-moi

Je vous ai demandé

Kimoni:
Bellong professeur a parlé

Qu'est-ce que ça veut dire?

keppyy:
Christmas time...

Too far now...

ChiChi0296:
Hi, please I need help on how to go about with my house help which is also my cousin

This cousin of yours is more important to you as an househelp than a cousin. Let's see if you really need help or people to aid you on how to "finish" the young poor child.

she's 14yrs should I take her back to her parents or still allow her to stay with me?

A 14 year old girl is an early teenager. At that age, they are evolving and trying to explore the world around them as well as getting to know themselves. Rebellion, stubbornness, truancy and all sorts of vices are typical to teenagers who are not moulded right. It is obvious, you are not equipped to handle this part of teenage experience in the girl.

Only you can answer your question.

She has been living with us for a year now. Yes she helps me a lot in doing housework. They are characters of hers which I don't like, though I was aware of some but I thought she's going to change but up till now she's not ready to change.

If you can attest to her resourcefulness, it means the young girl is doing too much work for her age. It is not appropriate sis. Give her work commensurate with her age. If she were your daughter, will you burden her with the "lot of housework"?

Child psychologists believe that two things form children, "nature and nurture". This character of hers, have you ever considered the cause? How is her family background and what do you think can contribute to it from her upbringing? These are the things you need to investigate to know how to help her. You can't solve a problem without understanding the root of it.

How have you helped her to change? What method did you use or are you using? Cane? slap? abusive, termed corrective, words? You can't use a wrong approach in resetting something that requires consistent and conscientious effort to do. Children mostly form their character at age 5, they build on it afterwards. You can't keep beating the girl to expect a change. While I was young, cane was never the right method to make me change a stand. You would rather kill me with cane than me to conform to what you want.
The more you beat her, the more you harden her thereby defeating your goal.

Study the girl to know the right method in getting to her. Cane, if needed, should be the last resort and that once in a blue moon.

She's from my mom's side. It was my mum that brought her to stay with us when I requested for somebody even though I wasn't comfortable with her staying with us cos of those her behaviors. But my mom was like I should manage her

You and your mum turned the girl to commodity already.

So my point is this. D girl steals, doesn't feel remorse whenever she does something wrong,she can't apologies when she wrong me nor my husband,

She was stealing before you brought her in. This is as a result of the environment you grew in (nurture traits). She doesn't feel remorseful because you guys beat hell out of her for every offence, she knows that "e no go pass beating". She is approaching that point of no return where she becomes too hardened to change. Change your tactics in dealing with the teenager.

she can't even take care of my 2 kids when am not around

How on earth do you expect a 14 yr old girl to take care of children. She needs care herself. She has never given birth before nor does she understand what to care for in children. You expect too much from her, it could be why she is getting frustrated by picking up too many vices than heed to correction.

she's wicked as in she carries things I her mind, she beat my 3yr old son when am not around even when am around she still beat him but if ask her she ll deny it.

What do you mean by she carries things in her mind? She's secretive or vengeful? One of the laws in physics says "to every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction". You determine how to deal with the girl, you don't determine how she takes her own pound of flesh.

she lies a lot she's ready to cry out blood than to tell you she did something even if u caught her doing it. She ll still lie, she's not also friendly with kids, u can't dictate her mind, whenever I query or beat her up cos of what she did wrong my kids ll pay for it,

Averagely, teenagers lie a lot because parents do come off like a Hitler. She had to be lying to save face or evade the stick if possible. She is not friendly with your kids because she doesn't see you as friendly with and to her. She is only transferring aggression. Do you "query" her or use derogatory words on her?

she also behaves as if her head is not correct. But she's very very intelligent in times of her education.

Why would her head be correct when she is overburdened with tasks above her age. She is not yet emotionally matured enough to handle the tasks and responsibilities you dumped on her. If she is book smart, is that not to tell you that there is something you are doing wrong to her.
The girl has a lot of errors and faults that need restoration to manufacturer's default. However, you need to re-evaluate your expectations from the girl and also study the girl to know her. You only live with her but you don't know who she is.

My husband and my mom is aware of all this things but they were like I shouldd just over look her that if I should take her back home people ll like she's my cousin this that. But the truth of the matter is that am not comfortable with her staying with me with those characters and she's not ready to change cos I ve talk to her severally but after talking and advice she ll still do it again. And no matter the amount of beat she ll still do it again. I wnt to stop beating her that why I want her to go cos I might wound her by then people ll start saying look at what she did to her cousin "wicked women" and I can't pretend according to my husband which I still find it difficult to understand his reasons for saying I should just pretend as if nothing is happening even though he knows d girl is not doing well.( I hope is not what am thinking sha) the worst is that if u ask her do u want to go home she ll say no.. Please what do I do [/b]I really hate her behavior. Despite d fact that she does house work.

I support the idea of the girl leaving your house because she cannot get the help she needs from your household. She is getting damaged psychologically from her upbringing and from the burdens of your household. She will need the services of a psychology to be able to retrieve her lost childhood. This girl, despite all the housework is still book smart shows she is a gold mine that needs a furnace to shine which you are not.

[b] Please, return the girl to her parents and let them find her the help she needs.

ChiChi0296:
What ever. D person that wore his or her shoes knows where it pinches her the most. So thanks all for your advice. Is a free world every body is free to say whatever he or she thinks.

If a shoe is pinching you, you either remove it or change it to slip-on.

You asked for help, you were given "advices" but because they didn't go well with what you wanted to hear, you resorted to this. Do you expect any sane person to help you crucify the poor girl.

She has vices not fit for a teenager but you have not shown in your write-up how you have tried to help her overcome it. Treat her like your daughter for the next three months and see how miraculously you will see change in her life and yours too.

keppyy:
I know what fufu is, lolz...

I'm not an ajeebbbooorrr oOoo...

Onunu is pounded yam with black plantain...it's soOoo nicceee
Atabllaaa fish is tilapia fishhh...

Very Nice... Goodmorning to youuu

Good morning to you too. When are you inviting me to a table for the onuunuu?

Are you in need of a guy that will align with your culinary skills?

keppyy:
Lolssss..

I can't pound yam but I can pound onuunuu.

Have you eaten onuunuu and fresh atablaa pepper-soup?

#ProudlyKalabari

Is onuunuu same as FUFU? Fufu is made from cassava, can be pounded like yam or stirred on fire like amala.

When will you invite me to eat this food you described?

keppyy:
*yawns*

Okay, it's soggy...

I can't cook, I need a chef.

Don't let flies enter your yawning mouth...

I will pay for your chef.

Can you pound yam?

keppyy:
Lols...

I know how to make pasta perfectly...

Pasta is meant to be creamy and not dry or oily...

Creamy is different from soggy....

Look your pasta closely, you will see that it is a world apart from creamy..

Ola30,

Your HND is likely going to be assessed as comparable to a diploma, which may not go well with chosen occupation if it requires a degree.

Your wife is in a good position to be the principal applicant.

Go through the occupation list, if you have read the two threads you should know where to get the list, to check for an occupation that closely relates with her work experience and degree. Lodge in assessment with the assessing authority against it. She needs 60points as the minimum to be invited to apply.

keppyy:
I made Pasta!!!

Come and chop!!!

Now I know why you need a chef. The pasta is a good evidence of your poor culinary skill...

Shows you added too much water.

I can offer you free lessons on basic cooking skills.

keppyy:
I made Pasta!!!

Come and chop!!!


Njokusboy
Bellong
Pickabeau
Timbuktou


@Bellong, I'll suggest you watch the movie "The Hundred foot Journey"

Can the pasta be as delicious as what I cook?

Tearoses above explained how she loves cooking for her husband. That is what you should emulate not ladies, who because of their long nails, don't want to get down with cooking.


Why single me out for the movie? Will look for it it though and watch. Thanks

samuelokwu:
I have the required English for 489 assessment. I did pte academics 2 weeks ago And scored L-82, R-73, S-56, W-83.
189 and 190 requires 65 in all bands while 489 requires 50 in all bands.

From my above result in speaking I am only qualified for 489.
So this is the basis for my inquiries into 489.

Cost of 489 visa is same as 189/190. Why waste hundreds of thousand when 35k can solve your challenge.

Take the IELTS again and go for 189/190 straight. Knock out 489 from your options.

samuelokwu:
Ok let me explain. I have 60 points but do not have the English requirements for my assessing body (ICAA) . How ever I have the English requirements for visa processing.
So the issue is English for assessment.

Do the English and get assessed by the body. There is no other way around it. Even with the 489, you still need them to assess you.

samuelokwu:
I wonder if I can be briefed on 489 and the requirements to convert to PR.

Thanks guys . Awaiting comments.

I do not understand you. In one page you said you have 60points as it stand, what do you need 489 for?

keppyy:
Summary...

A Good child to God!

A Good child to my parents!

A Good wife to Husband!

A Good Mother to my chidren!

A Good human to the society!

Who is a good wife to husband and what are the things expected of her?

keppyy:
I can cook very well but I'm definitely not a chef...

We are talking about chefs here and not caterers...

My value is not and will never be the food I cook...

I totally get njokusboy's point and I do understand...

Who says your value is the food you cook?

Where did chef learn the art of cooking?

keppyy:
@bellong, don't you enjoy fine dining and exquisite dishes (just joking)...I think freecocoa read my thoughts...

If you don't know how to cook, it is better you register with a catering school rather than hiding behind a chef being a better cook.

If the chef you believe can cook better learnt it somewhere, why can't you do it to do better than the chef.

Even if I were the richest man on earth, why would I hire a chef? It is not about the money but the value placed on a companion. If you can't cook for your household, no need of thinking marriage.

Yes, there are occasional eat out and that shouldn't become the norm because you have papers called money.

Well, there are thousands of guys who wouldn't mind hiring a chef for you anyway.

Njoku gave a good reason why you should cook for your household.

@Fellowbeing,

Your challenge is what some are praying to have. You don't have a problem.

Write the exam and move on. You are not the first to have double extra session and neither will you be last. It doesn't mean you are a failure, it only means you should do more than you are presently doing to ace the exam.

Don't kill yourself. It ain't worth it.

freecocoa:
Why shouldn't someone hire a chef if he/she can afford it? You are creating job opportunities and at the same time buying yourself more time to do what you need/want.


You have to be informed to be opinionated to start with,(especially in a society like ours) being opinionated isn't a bad thing, one should know where to draw lines.,

Hire a chef to be doing your cooking? Is that even a job opportunity? What is the mode of payment, per cooking or per month?

It is not about money but having a feel of what my wife can do. I would rather cook my food than hire a chef.

Anyway, I know most of these online opinions are purely opinions and not something most of you can put into action.


Being opinionated may not be a bad thing to start with but it becomes dangerous to your health with time. An opinionated person believes he/she is right at all times which could be wrong. Such is not good for any kind of human relationship.

^^^^ Why do you need an agent?

The agent does not have any control over the process. The pace is at the discretion of border control personnel.

Your November deadline is not realistic. When you set a target, set realistic goal. Have you done your skills assessment?

@Erictack, I dey fine. How your end?

Why would or should someone hire a chef? For what?

@Freecocoa, Don't be opinionated, rather be informed.

Kimoni:
See them, Old Skull.... You must be Damiso's twin brother








Make I no lie sha, me sef I didn't know it

Not my fault. I came to the world too early.