2024 and this here says a lot!

Just feeling this


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvd6nf0lzUo?si=B6uAHT1ouBFbDmQJ

Sometime ago, I visited the ophthalmologist and we got talking - normally I don't talk to strangers - it's not how I roll but that day - I decided to speak as in gist with this person. (I've got first 10 points on my pull me down post!- sorry for double posting)

I learned a couple of lessons from our conversation:

1. There is a BIG difference between people who grew up in the North and those in the South especially if you're yoruba

2. There's a BIG difference between wanting something and going for that thing

3. Turns out Nigerians like to compete with each other - never knew that! And honestly still don't think so ... but hmmm

4. Yoruba people from the south are all about respect BUT tend not to respect people. Northern yoruba people don't really care - humility matters to them, hey what do you think?

5. Apparently there's something called pull me down and it's a trait that is in most Nigerians - again, I only knew this 2 years or so ago! I might have been living under the rocks

6. Life isn't hard but the people in it make it hard - be yourself always

7. Nothing wrong with having a ONE Nigeria and hoping we will be alright in the end - at least that's one thing we agreed on.

8. It's all about give and take - if you do NOT love yourself - how will you love someone else

9. The hate you give - "sometimes you can do everything right and things will still go wrong. The key is never stop doing right"

10. One rule is to know you can't control what happens BUT you can control how you react

11. Opinions might differ

12. But remove strife from your heart. This person creates disaster

13. Mufti Menk: "Not everything that is said against you needs a response .... Do not give value to those who have no value"

14. Renner homegroup: Sometimes people operate in the soulish realm and call it spiritual - it is NOT. They know how to pull strings and work people like a puppet!

15. A house divided against itself cannot stand

16. Guard your mouth

17. The people you hang out with and listen to, you probably will act like them... hang out with argumentative people ... try to listen to others

18. Our actions in the way we resolve situations are not moved by fleshly thinking - conversation can quickly become soulish if so, STOP the conversation

19. Be wise and sensitive enough to know which type of logic we are using in certain situation

20. We might act base on incorrect information

After a lot of reflection on our conversation, those points ring true.

Sometime ago, I visited the ophthalmologist and we got talking - normally I don't talk to strangers - it's not how I roll but that day - I decided to speak as in gist with this person.

I learned a couple of lessons from our conversation:

1. There is a BIG difference between people who grew up in the North and those in the South especially if you're yoruba

2. There's a BIG difference between wanting something and going for that thing

3. Turns out Nigerians like to compete with each other - never knew that! And honestly still don't think so ... but hmmm

4. Yoruba people from the south are all about respect BUT tend not to respect people. Northern yoruba people don't really care - humility matters to them, hey what do you think?

5. Apparently there's something called pull me down and it's a trait that is in most Nigerians - again, I only knew this 2 years or so ago! I might have been living under the rocks

6. Life isn't hard but the people in it make it hard - be yourself always

7. Nothing wrong with having a ONE Nigeria and hoping we will be alright in the end - at least that's one thing we agreed on.

8. It's all about give and take - if you do NOT love yourself - how will you love someone else

9. The hate you give - "sometimes you can do everything right and things will still go wrong. The key is never stop doing right"

10. Remember to live by: you cannot control what happens but you can control how you react to it


hmm - conversations from my ophthalmologist!

Maybe my next one will be with the dentist - who knows 😀

try amazon - your dependant might get 40hours but difficult to find 20 hours work - also depends on where you are

just sad people not looking at all the info before selling all they have to come

only us o!

so what if its adoption?
so what if its surrogacy?
so what if its IVF?

A child or children are worth celebrating!

That they are able to adopt - Good on them, there are a lot of kids out there who need a loving family to cater to them

That they did surrogacy - a lot of people want kids, yet they are unable to have kids - thru no fault of theirs but they just are unable to carry to term and if these people are lucky enough to find someone who says - I'll help you carry your babies - great!

That they did IVF - for those lucky enough to get pregnant without needing assistance, you should really thank God. For those who maybe the woman has PCOS or the man low sperms count or any other issue that might create a delay and they had to resort to "paying" a lot to have just 1 child - hmmm!

miracles come in many shapes and forms, it is a miracle that women carry those kids and birth them.

Only yday, I read about a woman who miscarried 20 times - would it not be a miracle if she eventually has a life birth through IVF?

Not to even say - how does it matter the way the kids came to being? They are here, celebrate them or move!

In fact on this topic: I've heard of a woman who was beaten blue black - dragged on the streets, clothes torn whilst been beaten left naked etc - today her sons are no difft and when one sane wife complained she said and I kid you not "he is like his father"

the woman was abused and was still glorifying abuse.

She was proud to say one of her sons chased his wife out of the car shoeless - and the girls sister asked her to return to her husbands as it didnt matter. Afterall, it's not abuse when ure shouting at each other daily and the man only chased you out without shoes on. To her, it's absurd when her son mistreat his wife and the wife gets respite in her sisters house.

This abused woman continued the circle and empowered her sons by telling them they are like their dad as such it doesn't matter what they did to someone elses child.

lol @leeking but looks good

married sef dey do such. I know one person whose name is 12 letter words😁 and he has 6 vowels and 6 consonant in his name. He decided to collect phone back becos - he bought it!

wetin Abu eye no go c for gate😀

felong:
Sometimes if you don't treat women this way, they won't be submissive and take you for granted. Once you install fear in her, she won't behave anyhow.

why should your wife FEAR you? that is a question that I don't understand. When you were dating was she afraid? Why should she now be afraid when she becomes a wife?

A woman shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around their husband.

submissive? I'm unsure I get this too. So much about submission but nothing about husband loving his wife as christ loved the church and gave himself for it!

The husbands love for his wife should his primary responsibility.

If the man is the right person for the woman, she would feel comfortable. Should anyone want to live in fear around their spouse?

When someone who was raised in a bad environment pretends he's a human being? Lacks empathy, still childlike in behaviour, jealousy is a trait, competes even when no one knows, grand manipulator, lacks respect but craves for one.

Pride comes before fall, self importance, vanity, a narcissist who can diagnose psychological issues even when they are unable to actually use their training to see a child in distress.

Someone who thinks that immediate family circle is unimportant rather whatever mum says is final

Woman who is so poor in mind, spirit and thinking that is obsessed about being given things she is iyako bournvita. She lacks ability to think because she preferred to be bribed than use her sense.

If you give me this and that you will still be here with me. Hian! train your kids so that you won't be controlling their adult life. Someone doesn't have to offer you anything before you tell the truth!

But hey! How can you give what you don't have?
What good is a mother who only wants because she wants to show off? What good is a son who listens to a mother and ignores his immediate family? What good is a family who doesn't see anything wrong in crossing people's boundaries when they themselves lack one? what good is in a family who lies to each other just to live a fake life?

Bad human gets free publicity and this matters how?

another day another thought

can't believe we still live in an era where women are still viewed as a property. Throughout history they were subjected to oppressive treatment and inequality within marriage. Their status and treatment varied across cultures, regions and even time periods.

In ancient Egypt and Greece women were considered the property of their husbands and had few legal rights. Their legal duty was domestic chores and bearing childing. In the middle ages, women's identity was subsumed to her husbands upon marriage and again considered the property of her husband.

20th century saw movements towards women advocating for their rights to be recognised as human right!

Indeed we can't ignore the fact that there are periods and societies that have extremely oppressed and subjugated women within marriages it is important to note that there has been progress over times in terms of improving women's right and social standing.

Having said that, today the treatment of women within marriages varies across different countries and cultures - take ours for instance.

Someone mentioned the role of in- laws and we've seen examples where a woman married into this family where the boys' mother faced constant abuse from her husband. Incessant beating up to striping her naked in the marketplace. The woman was sent parking from the house yet when her son married - the DIL was told she told never to report her son to anyone but her! What does that mean? She doesn't want family settlement like someone mentioned earlier - because we tend to call family meeting and if this girl can't tell her own family please how do they resolve issues assuming they want family to butt in.

How about the role families play in training their kids to adulthood? Most people who grew up say with parents who were born in the 40s/50s will at least have witnessed their parents abuse and would have grown up with suppressed trauma. Monsters are then raised both women and men - some women see their dad beat their mum and think it's the right thing - I can't be with a man who will not beat me up! Some men grow up and repeat the same abuse towards their own spouse - you see the circle! It needs to be broken.

I've seen men/women come abroad and blow up their marriages because (and I say this without prejudice) apparently Nigerians compete against each other when here (my jaw hit the floor when I heard this one) as such everyone is looking to one up the other, mix with crowds that start telling them things - how to leave your husband/wife and be free of them so you can do whatever you like - sleep around, go to parties like no tomorrow. People coming without having proper education about the culture etc. Big egos still coming here with idea - I own you and will control you and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

We have people with narcissistic behaviour who cry wolf after they've been caught out in their ways and they are no longer able to control you then they BURN everything to the ground! Care should be taken not to destroy our kids lives whilst trying to destroy a wife or husband we once thought was our forever!

nothing to see here!

[quote author=atheistandproud post=120893745]

The good part is we are all entitled to our opinions and I agree with your POV but you don't have to agree with mine or try to push any more ideas to me.

I don't pick fights with people, never have n never will - Though this is my other handle which focuses on devpt. I've been with nairaland since inception

So thanks for ur submission and further clarification

marriages have been breaking down since time immemorial the Internet just made it more known!

I can categorically say I grew up knowing people whose parents weren't together back in the 90s and tbh many people stayed together and "endured" a life that literally destroyed the kids.

I've just heard that a friend refused to get married because his parents who had separated did a number on him. At some point this boy had a nervous breakdown and had to go to rehab! Another one has been married 3x! these are kids who grew up in the 90s!

For me, it's a really bad circle - I've kind of now believe that if you are from a broken home the likelihood that you will have one is also high!

In the North for instance (I'm from there btw) you could divorce easily and remarry without issues - but you're still carrying baggage.

Now imagine all those who grew up in the 90s with a warped family arrangement wherein mother will stay cos of the kids or wherein mother is beaten black and blue, abused, she's molested, she is striped naked etc n her kids see this! Well guess what they grow up to become abusers even worse the mother actually doesn't see their emotional abuse or narcissistic ways as abuse as long as they are not physical by all is abuse.

These kids are broken and are creating a circle of kids that would be broken in future as well - so please don't just say Internet has enhanced divorce and that kids of nowadays will not benefit from a stable home - divorce did exist many years ago and those who stayed created monsters who are still perpetuating mean ways on others!

Broken people break people!

PS: I am not a proponent of divorce, I am not divorced and is not smthing I will venture in in future but I was reminded that people do die in silence so please let us talk about these issues and create awareness about broken people, awful women who encourage bad behaviours and raise sons who then become monsters, let's talk about emotional, financial, physical, verbal abuse. Let's talk about all the ills that would not make a family work and let's also talk about boundaries - people should have clear boundaries that others should indeed accept!

Why did we hear this man's voice more in the last few months of his tenure than we did in all his 8years?

efficiencie:

Whilst you might have a point, I'm unsure why this restriction of yours was solely on women and women alone?

..."if the couples, especially the lady is securely pure as a precondition for the solemnisation of a marriage"

"if every clergyman and every family enforced the virginity of ladies before marriage..."

Please what stops both to be pure as a precondition for marriage?

What stops clergymen and families to enforce virginity of men before marriage?

The comment is so skewed its unbelievable

And then to say it will make it easier for rape victims to prove their case - just negodu

Why is it that this platform FULL of intolerance, tribalism, general discrimination?

I first knew about this platform from it's inception and it was where people could come and just enjoy catching up on news from around Nga, sharing space with others, meeting people and just being able to leave your opinion without being attacked for it.

But ... what changed?

With the news and more people putting their opinions online - there has been an exponential growth in tribalism, intolerance, religious intolerance etc.

Why can't we just get along - a house divided against itself cannot stand!

If every response to an opinion or even an opinion starts by saying words such as flat heads, Igbos, name checkers, na them, the hausas, yorubas, igbo, their religion etc or 'shut up' ... many words that I can't even fetch out. Words that are soooo offensive it's unbelievable!

Why are we entertaining these when we want a better Nigeria? Be the change you want to see - a better Nigeria is only going to happen if we all come as one. We were put together for a reason and until we understand that reason, we might just keep wasting our time.

Stand up and be counted as a Nigerian ...
a Nigerian who wants not just the basic needs but a united Nigeria where we all matter.

We need to change our mindset because the vision of the Nigeria most of us dream about starts from our mind ... so let us start thinking I am a Nigerian. I AM igbo, hausa, yourba, ishekiri, isoko, gwari ... I am all the languages and tribes being maligned - I am a Nigerian.

Remember - a house divided against itself cannot stand!

the funniest caption I've ever read! he had it so now he had to give everyone else PTSD!

if you can find this cream "soft feet" - it would relieve the dryness - like ppl mentioned it could wither be psoriasis or fungal infection but also to be on the safe side check if she's got diabetes- a possibility.

For fungal infection you can try mycota

yemmybx:
The power of social media! Thank God for those children. GET YOUR PVC!

Forget SM! Must SM report such thing in 2022 bf they do the right thing. I don't blame them - they honestly don't think education is impt so wouldn't want to waste money on making the sector easy.

sorry to quote you

Work culture and toxic environment
organisations that don't support your personal and professional growth

how can a country have over 124 political parties? Who are the oppositions here? I'm not sure how we copy from others but then decide to overdo? Just wasting money that could be injected into the economy for gd use? Well, what am I saying - 100m for presidential ticket? And already we have over 10 ppl interested..It doesn't matter who contributed towards the pay but what matters is that money could have been put to good use again!
I could think of how investment in human capital would help increase productivity of people and also use of physical capital will be appropriate if wr have highly skilled and intelligent human capital.

hmmm

this is not only specific to NGA as I teach abroad and the students I've been around honestly lack sense - they feel that understanding a concept applying that concept is literal - for instance they were meant to produce a resource plan for an organisation within the automotive industry ... the idea is that they discuss operations management, supply chain management and issues, match demand to supply etc BUT this people can't do anything unless the physically enter one of the organisations to see how operations work! You ask questions they don't even respond and shouts at you at will! worst part to listen in class or do the given work is another thing!

After a said and done, they think that they deserve a first for submission of work that literally lacks critically thinking, writing, analysis or even grammatically correct!
To shock you grade inflation is a thing as tutors/ lecturers are trying to make life easy for themselves whilst avoiding student complain! I can write more on this but ...

some people eat it! At least I know one person that encapsulated her own and used as drugs to boost milk production ... kept it in her freezer n all!

I'm not sure how hit and run is defined anymore ... you scratched someone's car, you didn't want to get down because you had an important meeting to attend to ... hmm... the woman held onto mirror ... traffic was moving sooooo.... you moved! then someone calls you out and you go cover up by sending a team to visit her (you know now we are too big) then spent time in their house ... abeg! leave story. It doesn't matter if you were doing smthing you view as BIG ... since you were involved in an accident the right thing to do is to stop and see how you can both come to a meaningful arrangement. .. exchange numbers, insurance ... find solution to fix the person's car BUT what you must not do is LEAVE the scene! Hit and Run is a criminal offence!

Pekele, pekele! abeg help me see something! When did we ever hear that our leaders have our interest and the interest of the country at heart as much as we've heard about Ukraines president?

Nobody prays for war and tbh I'd rather this Russia Ukraine invasion never happens but as it is ...many economies will suffer including us.. the rising cost of oil alone �

Anyways .. Im sure most have seen headlines on your LinkedIn, IG or twitter pages of how this 44year old president has taken up to defend his nation ... we have old baba youngies scrambling to be president .. the one in aso rock has not even for once thought of going back into his ecomog clothes to fight the insurgents o! We really need to change our moves, we need to consider people who would have the interest of the people at heart ... not people who would sell your future for a few naira in your present. Let your heart decide if you indeed want a better tomorrow or a good past ... the ball is in our hands

We shouldn't even be considering them in the first place .... � how would we move forward when we still think ancient ppl can move us forward! We need to think better than this!

My eyes caught the caption "father shares note daughter receives first day at work" on twitter so I decided to read the letter... some people found it condescending and the girl has since got a new Job... wanted to share and hear your thoughts on this!

here is the article
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/dad-shares-ridiculous-letter-daughter-25637504

everyone is talking about about corpse but no one said anything about the attendants .. it is a crime to desecrate corpses! I'm sure beating the dead body is arguably under this act!

Sorry I have nothing else to add

Mr Idiot!
Buhari already threatened the peace if he didn't get voted in. So... what's the difference now? Is the Nigeria we are in any better since he came in?

Can't believe how some people sleep knowing full well they are a part of the crazy that destroyed many peoples lives! History will not forget!