₦airaland Forum

[b]As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter with a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you doing?'

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the f, are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my son-in-law.[/b]'

[b]When Baba Sege was in office as the president, he got an invitation from the Queen to come and visit her in England. One afternoon, while drinking tea, he asked the Queen her success secret. She told him that she relies on her people a lot and therefore she must be certain that they are intelligent.

She decided to show him exactly what she meant and phoned Tony Blair. "Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo, I'm going to ask Mr. Blair a question to determine his intelligence.

" Queen: "Oh! hello Mr. Blair, I have a question for you: your mother has a child, and your father has a child. This child is not your brother and is not your sister. Who is he?"

Tony Blair "It's ME!"

Queen: "Correct! Thank you, bye"


"Did you get that Mr. Obasanjo?" the Queen asked.
"Yes, thanks a lot, I'll definitely be using that!"


Once back in Nigeria he decided that he has doubts about Ibrahim Mantu and he's going to ask him the question. He arranged a meeting with him and asked him:

"Mantu I have a question for you; your mother has a child and your father has a child. The child is not
your brother and is not your sister, who is he?."

Mantu thinks, and thinks, "Em, you must give me some time to think about it."

And Mr. Obasanjo decided to give him a day to come out with an answer. That afternoon, Mantu called a meeting to discuss the question, but NOBODY knew the answer. They drew up a Mantu family tree, but to no avail. The next morning, he realized he has to give Obasanjo an answer and as a last resort, he decided to phone Jerry Rawlings, former president of Ghana.


"Jerry, your mother has a child and your father has a child. The child is not your brother and is not your
sister, who is he?" Jerry answers immediately. "Hey, Mantu, It's me of course, you dumb Nigerian!"

Mantu rushed to Obasanjo's office very impressed to know the answer to such a difficult question.
"Mr. President, I know who he is, it’s! Jerry Rawlings!"

Obasanjo: "Jerry Rawlings ko, Jerry Gana ni. You are such a stupid senator. I'll make sure you're removed from office. The child is TONY BLAIR!" [/b]

We shall SAW !

switch47:
IF THEY LIKE LET THEM BEAT MANCHESTER UNITED 10-1 The most important part to be remembered is when they are celebrating wining the premiership title -------if dem like make dem beat actor/ protagonist for movie black and blue the most interesting part is when the actor wins at the end of the movie---------WHO CARRY CUP NA IM SABI SOCCER!! the whole season is more important than one match!! frankly it was nice seeing them lose------and it will be interesting seeing them get up next week ,play their outstanding game while chelsea drops 3 points at spurs. the season red die

The fear of the BLUES is the beginning of ? complete am !

ravenzord:
Yeah I agree,nd ManU really wasn't at it's best form ystday(although I still think we played better football), but wat dese guys re doin 2 ManU isn't criticism,it's SLAUGHTER!!!

SLAUGHTER is an understatement,this is what i call real MASSACRE right at their BACKYARD worse than 911 !

switch47:
IF THEY LIKE LET THEM BEAT MANCHESTER UNITED 10-1 The most important part to be remembered is when they are celebrating wining the premiership title -------if dem like make dem beat actor/ protagonist for movie black and blue the most interesting part is when the actor wins at the end of the movie---------WHO CARRY CUP NA IM SABI SOCCER!! the whole season is more important than one match!! frankly it was nice seeing them lose------and it will be interesting seeing them get up next week ,play their outstanding game while chelsea drops 3 points at spurs. the season red die THE SEASON IS EXTREMELY RED

BIG SHAME ! Another yeye predictions ?! That's another 3 points coming again !
Abeg make you nor just carry ya BAD LUCK give MAN U o !

mykali:
i think i will like to be a shrink afterall
switch's case has gotten beyond insanity

The fear of the BLUES is the beginning of MADNESS. So nor blame the guy. As long as the sky remains blue then him case don pass GOD own !

This is just a WALK OVER ! Switch47 can you predict in favour of MAN C ? So that we can win? ,since your yeye predictions has been bringing us good luck.

Everyday for the thief and one day for the owner !

babeisme:
Big_fatherrrrrrr,
Such dirty words come out your religous mouth. Haba! You need a whole tube of colgate or maybe maclean to sanitize your mouth now, The song says KOKO yato si KOKO not ***. Common off that computer now and go and read your bible!
Sorry my brother phammyus for my little talk talk on ur thread. I had to redirect my big_

---

father here. In the meantime, BUMPITY!
This ride is lovely so buyers, pls hurry!

I don carry ACID and DETEGENT wash the mouth.

switch47:
LAUGH NOW WHILE YOU CAN----- ----CATCH YOUR BREATH AN LAUGH MORE -------SOME MORE----- BUT HE WHO LAUGHS LAST LAUGHS BEST AND T WONT BE CHELSEA OR CHELSEA FANS IT WOULD BE SWITCH,dominique/khanye/allboyz/ AND THE REST OF THE WINNERS OF SILVERWARES!!

He who laughs last, na mumu. Why im no catch the joke at the first time and laugh when others dey laugh?[color=#990000][/color]

switch47:
the time wey you see me dey support chelski for your past life----you must tell me o!! chelski wey dey play any where belle face soccer go see ARSENAL or manchester united game know say soccer can beso interesting and can even cure malaria!! instead make i join chelski i prefer zamfara united!!

Anywhere prick face and we still dey win ! The fact is that anytime that ya mouth twist dey curse us, na that time we dey win . So make you bend that ya mouth more dey curse us so that the curse go dey stick and turn to blessings for us ! Hope say you nor go chop RAT POISON when we win sha !
BLUES FOR LIFE !

babeisme:
Nice. Very nice. I like the ori yato sori part. and then u have another ride owo yato sowo, so we're looking forward to what comes next!

Then OKO yato si

Rhea:
sounds like a man

No wonder they wan rape am !

Not all mothers are like that. My mum and my wife are so close to the extent that i sometimes get jealous !

good price.

Cashmoni:
@big father

how can i be of help?

Still 94 model !

Boss Ttdiamonds:
Guy, you nor try at all. . .

Na you sabi !

UP BLUES ![b][/b]

http://419.bittenus.com/charlessoludo/

See wetin naijas dey do !

94 model !

[b]There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. After he didn't move for a half an hour, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down. The poor man started crying.


The truck driver turned and said: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."


"No, it's not that," the man replied: "Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and then fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener.”


The man was really sobbing now. "I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink my poison." [/b]

[b]He who fights and runs away, Na fear catch am

Pikin wey no sabi em mama boyfriend, Dey call am brother

A rolling stone no just dey roll, Na person push am.

He who lives in a glass house……. Na im pepe rest

A stitch in time, dey prevent further tear tear.

Birds of the same feather, na the same mama born dem.

One good turn, na correct power steering be that.

A bird in hand, wetin e wan be again if nor be suya.

Half bread………. is better than buns/ puff puff

D journey of a thousand miles……. Ol’boy e beta make u carry your car go o or enter aeroplane

He who laughs last, na mumu. Why im no catch the joke at the first time and laugh when others dey laugh?

The patient dog, Na hunger go kill am.

All work and no play……Na banker be dat

All play and no work…… Abeg na real life be dat. after all I see as u happy wen dem declare holiday. [/b]

First team to qualify for the QFINAL !

hope raising !

At LAST ! The crippled has started moving !

switch47:
BEFORE NKO. CHELSEA MUST DROP POINTS NOW!! CHELSAEA MUST mess UPO. FORGET THE IONITIAL GRAGRA OF THE NEW COACH. WHEN A FOUR YEAR OLD GETS SOMETHING NEW---HE MUST DO SMALL SHAKARA ====AFTER THAT THEM GO COME BACK TO SQUARE ONE1!CHELSEA MUST DROP POINTS!!

SHAME TO BAD PEOPLE !

We don win o ! God has put our enemies to SHAME !

aieromon:
LUCK CANT WIN YOU THE EPL,CONSTITENCY CAN
ASK MANCHESTER UNITED,WE'RE THE BEST

So you call this luck ? So you wan tell me say na luck score the goals ? Bros wake up and watch ya back !

The BLUES are closing in !

emeshot:
i have a toyota camry 1996 model for sale in a good price.it was brought newly from the united states through the lagos port.if you are interested u can come in person to mafoluku,where it is parked or call my cell[08034466531]thanks.

You know the rules bro ! Kindly post the pics if you are really intrested in selling !

This is mouth watering offer !

BLUES FOR LIFE ! WEY ALL THE CHELSEA HATERS ?!
MAKE UNA BURY UNA HEAD FOR SHIT O !