₦airaland Forum

9ice wey just do him house warming last month na him come dey broke ? I can bet that 9ice is the most serious young naija artiste. The guy knows where he is coming from and he is just living the way a responsible and focused guy should live.
Abeg make una leave the guy alone o ! Broke ko,brake ni .
Bad belle people !

Where's the face ?

Price nko ?

janitors:
This car is not a naija used car despite the fact that it as a plate number does not mean it as been used in Nigeria

Make you commot the plate number naa. E fit spoil market for you o !

I have a camry V6XLE that i have been driving for the past 9mths and i can tell you that the car has never given me any course for regret. Low on fuel consumption and talking about smoothness, hmmmm na die ! . I LOVE MY TOY !
There is nothing wrong with a V6 engine. It all boils down to how you maintain your ride.

Pennywise:
The only thing that is orobo about what you ve put up is the price tag. Good luck.

FBS:
@Ccomputers, stop telling you what?
Today's result was Arsenal's heaviest home defeat to Chelsea in the league since 1960.
There goes your so called history.

No mind them
11MEN vs 11 BABIES !

[b]After a night of drinking, Martins crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.



"Who the hell are you? "Demanded Martins, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"



The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St Peter".

Martins was stunned.

"You mean I'm dead? That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family, you've got to send me back straight away."

St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated, but there is a catch! . We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."



Martins was devastated but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. "This isn't so bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.



The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen. How are you enjoying your first day here?



"It's not so bad, "replied Martins, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode."



"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."



"Never," replied Martins.



"Well, just relax and let it happen." And so he did, and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg popped out from under his tail.



An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.



When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him, ever!! !



The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,



Martins! Wake up, you drunken bastard, you're shitting on the bed." [/b]

The babe think say Guys get pay for here and she think say na magas full here ! Becus she don see cars.

Got this from a collegue .

The Rise of a Nigerian Antichrist !

Has it not been said? Has it not been written? That so many Christs will come with signs and wonders to deceive even the elect?



Don’t be deceived! The Antichrist is here:
T. B. Joshua of Synagogue Church of all Nations



Exposed in a new Video by
Times Inspirational Network and Oracles of God Television


DECEPTION OF THE AGE.

* Decoding the Anti-Christ
* How the Elect are deceived
* The Psychology of Deception
* Victims in High Place
* Spiritual Sexcapades ……… Confessions
* How we faked miracles ……. Confessions



Who is this Anti-Christ?
Visit

http://www.nigerianantichrist.com

A Kenyan fan of English football club Arsenal has hanged himself after his team's defeat by Manchester United.

The north London club was beaten 3-1 in the European Champions League semi-final second leg on Tuesday evening.

Suleiman Omondi, 29, who was watching in a bar in the capital, Nairobi, was incensed by the club's poor showing.

He left at half-time after arguing with a Manchester United fan and was found hanging from a rope in his house, still dressed in an Arsenal shirt.

'Broke down'

The BBC's Josphat Makori in Nairobi says the unprecedented incident has shocked football fans in Kenya.

According to his friends, Mr Omondi was in good spirits at the beginning of the match and even when Arsenal conceded the first goal, he did not seem to be affected.But things changed when the team conceded a second goal 11 minutes into the game.

A woman, who sat next to him in the bar, said Mr Omondi was so disappointed by Arsenal's poor performance that he broke down during half-time.

Another eyewitness told journalists that it was at this point that a Manchester United fan started taunting him.

"Suleiman got hold of him angrily by the neck and started pressing him so hard," he said.

"We quickly intervened and asked him to stop. Suleiman then stopped but he was so angry that he left in a rage."

His body was found on Wednesday morning.

Police officer David Bunei told the BBC the incident was being investigated.

Courtesy BBC NEWS.

They should come to ABA and try this rubbish !

Krayola:
Iniesta must be feeling like a super hero right now

The only serious BARCA PLAYER !

nateevs:
And I tell you that you are still saying rubbish . . . You think Barca's game plan was not shit . . . They get the ball, find Messi or Iniesta, they try to make triangles in the opposition 18 . . . and even when they made 380 passes in Nou-Camp and still could not get a goal, they still come back to the Bridge with the same tactics. For 91mins they couldn't get a shot on goal . . . they are not good in the air, they can't score from crosses and they can't defend well.

You call that good tactics. . . Do you really know what you are saying ?

No mind am, he's just being sentimental. UEFA does not want a repeat of what happened last season ( an all english final ) The ref killed the whole game !

Boy ! That was very risky, you could have been killed by the so called racist officer.

Emad:
Big Father you be reaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllll NATIVE

Please if you still live in the stone age respect the fact that other people don't
You speak like an Elder in the village, i am surprised you could access the net with that level of idiocracy

Na you get ya mouth, no be only stone age , you go see sand age !

Any big deal about that ? Where una dey when liverpool trash dem 4-0 ?

[b]A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore
and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover'[/b]

Mazda you mean ?

Which kain contribution you want, when you nor post the pics ?

[b]Ebuka told his Oga at the shop to wait at the gate and pick him up after his Commerce exam at the Commercial Secondary school where he was registered.





He was given Commerce Exam question paper and the only question he could answer was question number 3 and it says:



''Differentiate between a Warehouse and a Shop.''(20marks)



After much thinking he smiled and wrote his answer:



Warehouse is at Ojota while shop is at Alaba.



Then he submitted his paper and went to meet his Oga at the gate.



Oga: Ebuka, how did it go?



Ebuka: It was so simple Oga, question number three

says: Differentiate between a warehouse and a

Shop.



Oga: And what did you write?



Ebuka: Well I wrote that warehouse is at Ojota while shop

is at Alaba.



Oga: So is that all you wrote?



Ebuka: Yes.



Oga: Common go back and put the phone numbers and

Complete address, stupid boy!

That's how you get customers, idiot.[/b]

08064753382:
4fuck u haters cuz maga wil 4eva pay.If U rnt okay wit dat then run into a moving lorry&get crushed or u jump into d R.Niger if u r okay wit dat.Slot!!!

What is there to hate about you ? Sooner or later the cash you are splashing on your omoge will soon finish and you won't be able to manage yourself. The end result na to begin dey carry gun dey robb pple abi ?
There better things to invest on rather than splashing on a hole .
Use your brain !

[b]Uchenna studied Accountancy and graduated from the University of Nigeria Nsukka with a second class honours (upper division) in 2004

and joined Fidelity Bank plc in May 2006, after her youth service at entry level and was deployed to Domestic Operations.



An important member of our e-business operations – a specialized area that required regular training within and outside Nigeria. To

show how important she was, even as an EA, she just returned from a training in South Africa. A rare privilege for any staff at her level.



Unfortunately, she used the training and skill obtained from her desk negatively by perpetrating fraud, through fraudulent transfers

from one of the accounts she manages to her husband’s account. She successfully covered up by manipulating her colleagues and records,

before luck ran out on her.



She is married with a two year old daughter and currently pregnant, unfortunately her husband of more than 2 years disappeared when the

fraud was uncovered and has refused to show up, leaving her to her fate, even though he was the major beneficiary of the proceeds of the fraud.



Uche was arraigned at a Lagos Magistrate Court today on criminal charges of forgery, stealing etc and the judge ordered her to be remanded at the

Kirikiri maximum prison until the next hearing date of 17th April 2009. What a shame?



LESSONS:

1. TO OUR YOUNG LADIES.

· There are a few honest young men out there, who loves for who you are. Most of them will want you because of where you work and

what you have.

· Being desperate will mean, getting into any relationship even when it may not be worth it. Uche’s husband is primary School Certificate holder.



2. TO ALL OF US

· DO NOT be involved in fraud, don’t even think about it, it is not worth the stress. All the money will be lost and you will end up in jail like Uche.

· Do not conspire by being silence, even when you don’t have enough facts, say what you feel it may lead to bigger discovery.

· Be diligent at your work and protect your PASSWORDS, it is your identity and can always be traced to you.



Thank you[/b]

[b]You need to read this discussion between a 419 guy and his
prospective prey.

It's not uncommon these days to receive strange calls with
foreign numbers. These callers invariably have one juicy
business or the other to discuss from 'abroad'. If you
fall for the sweet talk, there goes your money. I got a typical call very
recently, here's the gist:


Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?

Ayo: Fine. Please, who am I speaking with?

Mr. 419:Haba, don't you remember me? Who do you know in UK that could be calling?

(Sensing a scam, I threw in a trap…)

Ayo: Johnson! Is that you? (I don't know any Johnson in UK .)
(Thinking it's a break, he swallows the bait)

Mr. 419 : Of course, this is Johnson! How come you didn't recognise my voice initially?

Certain it's scam, I decided to punish him verbally and financially. I had the time that morning so I was going to assist him waste his call credit.)

Ayo: Jooooooohnson! Kai!Omo buruku gbaa ni o! (You are a specially bad boy) Your father died, you didn't so much as show up or send a note. Omo a se iru e fun e! (Your children will repay you with such). Didn't you hear about his demise? He was so bitter and full of original curses curses for you.

Mr. 419: (Obviously subdued) I didn't hear. I would have come.
Ayo: Too bad. You heard you mama is leprous too? You didn't hear about that,abi?

Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didn’t hear.

Ayo: (Enjoying myself thoroughly). Too bad. Is your wife that foolish too? Not even a word from her after you folks married without our blessings? If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted too?

Mr. 419: She's fine. I'm certain she'll get across to you. There's an issue…

Breaking in before he begins his story)

Ayo: Johnson, O se mi o: you offended me. I sent you money to buy me a car and you just disappeared. When am I having my money back? You want me to curse you too like your father did? I don't have his kind of patience I'm sure you know. I won't wait that long before I give you what you deserve.


Mr. 419: (Grunted), This issue is important,

Ayo: Shut up!!! When are you sending money home? Haba! We sent you to school, clothed you and sent you abroad, Are you now a 419? Stealing from me your friend too. Your father was right to curse you, And you can't escape it if you continue like this. It's not a curse.

Mr. 419: I'll repay you.

After about 50 minutes of moves and countermoves…I owned
up,

Ayo: See Mr. 419, I don't know any Johnson in UK . I just needed to teach you a lesson. Go get a proper job.

Mr. 419: Were! Oloriburuku! Lo ti n sepe fun mi lat'aaro!
(Madman, and you've been cursing me since morning!)

Ayo: Disconnected[/b]

Kemouche:
Whr ur hand cum dey,i can only imagine

nothing .