₦airaland Forum

Na wa o ! A friend just bought this for 950k toks ! Na him you wan sell for that cut throat price ?!
HABA !

[color=#000099]On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.
He approached the young man and calmly said to him, "How much do you earn?"
The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?"
Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, "Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".
The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.
Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, "And that applies to everybody in this company".
He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man I just fired?"
To which an amazing reply came- "He was the pizza delivery guy, Sir!"[/color][b] [/b]

Thanks bro !

JustGood:
The person whose photograph appears there looks like he needs to be admitted to Aromental hospital as a special emergency case.

[b]AKPAN bought a new mobile phone. He sent a message to everyone on his phone book. The message reads: My mobile number has changed; earlier it was Nokia 3310, now it is Nokia 6610. Please take note.

AKPAN: People consider me as a “GOD”
Wife: How do you know?
AKPAN: When I went to the park today, everybody said, oh GOD, you have come again.

Once AKPAN was walking, he had a glove in one hand and none on the other hand. So a man asked him why he did so.
He replied: The weather forecast announced that on one hand, it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

AKPAN: Why are all these people running?
Man: This is a race; the winner will get the cup.
AKPAN: If only the winner will get the Cup, why are the others running?

AKPAN told his servant: “Go and water the plants!”
Servant: “It is already raining”
AKPAN: “So what? Take an umbrella and go”

I think Akpan is smart,his foolishness shows he still has a brain.[/b]

[b]A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husbands constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the amount of times that they will have to make love for the rest of their marriage.

While getting ready for work, she writes on a piece of paper, "Honey, you know I love you, but your never ending requests for sex are leaving me drained and really tired. So I propose that we only have sex on days that start with the letter 'T', to minimize the frequency of our lovemaking sessions. Don't be mad at me honey, just understand where I am coming from, and let me know if my request is too demanding of you."

On her way out the door, she uses a refrigerator magnet and sticks the note to the fridge door, hoping that her sex craved husband will be understanding and accepting of her proposal when he reads it.

Upon returning home, she glances at the refrigerator and notices that her note has been replaced with a note from her husband that reads, "Baby, I didn't' realize that I was putting you under so much pressure and I'm sorry.

I accept your proposal and have even taken the extra step of listing at the bottom of this letter, those days starting with the letter 'T' to make sure that we are on the same page.

1. TUESDAY

2. THURSDAY

3. TODAY

4. TOMORROW

P.S. I love you too, and remember it's still TODAY, I am waiting for you upstairs."[/b]

tpiah:
yes nah- your friend was the only person who could read and that's why out of everybody who saw the t shirt, it was only him who got Hot and touched the girl.

Abi o !

How dangerous can it be ?
Someone might be watching you !

Important: Contents might be offensive


http://insidekarenlucas..com/2009/06/exclusive-zain-africa-challenge.html?zx=ec85236516e8ea3a

deepword:
best governor my foot, Fashola is the best governor in nigeria

Though OGD is my gov but Fashola has done really great .

Siena:
Woaah! Stolen, huh?

Totally unrelated, Emeshot, but why do you always photograph your odometers vertically, and fail to rotate the images before you upload them in your adverts??

I bow o ! My neck don twist tire !

Buy at ya own risk !

This is so sad !

kshow1:
Hmmm tales by moonlight

I pray you don't experience this. Then by that time we'll title it STORY TIME !

viperman:
What do you do with the car?
Infact, get intouch with me on
lexfrosty@ yahoo.com

See business man !

The guy don sell the car o !
SOLD ! SOLD !! SOLD !!!

Inspire, this is a great chance o !

[b]Though I cannot verify the authenticity of the story, I believe you can learn something from it.
You might have received it before but I don't want to take chances.


About a month ago, a family friend in Abuja received anonymous telephone

calls and text messages demanding a ransom of NGN1,200,000, failure

which he and/or members of his family would either be kidnapped or shot.

No reason was given for the threat. The gang was very thorough in their

details of my friend's family and his movement. They gave him the first

and middle names of each of his children and his wife, which were known

only to very close relatives. On one occasion, the gang gave a

description of the clothes he wore on a particular day and the times he

went out and came in.



The recipient was advised to play along with the group while efforts

were made to contact the State Security Service (SSS) and the Police.



Two weeks ago, the gang issued a 48-hour ultimatum for the money to be

paid.

The SSS contacted the management of the commercial bank nominated by the

gang for the deposit of the ransom. My friend was then advised to

deposit the sum of NGN200,000 in the Abuja account. Three hours after

the deposit was made, attempt was made to withdraw the money in a branch

of the bank in Lagos. The bank immediately alerted the police who

arrested the man and kept him incommunicado.



As other members of the gang could not reach their member who was then

in Police custody, they rang my friend to enquire if he reported the

banking details to security agencies. When my friend enquired why they

asked, he was told that they had neither seen nor heard from the man

they sent to collect the ransom from the bank. The gang appeared to

have bought the lie sold to them by my friend when he told them that the

man might have absconded with the money. Two hours later, they sent an

account in another commercial bank for the remittance of the balance

ransom.



The security agencies again placed alert on the account after which my

friend paid in NGN200,000. Soon after the deposit was made, two men

worked into a branch of the commercial bank, again in Lagos, to withdraw

the money. They were both arrested and handed over to the police. All

three men are now being interrogated by the FCT Command of the Nigeria

Police.



In the course of the investigation, it was found that all three men had

been contracted by my friend to drill a borehole in his house about two

months ago.

While they were contstructing the borehole, my friend's wife had

occasions to take them in her car to some places in Abuja to purchase

materials for the works. On one occasion, she had left a file

containing her school records and other personal documents on the back

seat of the car. A member of the gang scanned through the file and

extracted some vital personal information with the use of his mobile

phone. Also, during the course of the two weeks when they drilled the

borehole, they had interviewed my friend's two little children, aged

four and three, to know their full names.



There is so much we can learn from this incident. First, personal and

sensitive information should not be left in a place where unauthorized

persons could have access to them. Second, in our homes we should use

only workmen who have been referenced and/or are familiar. And third,

we should teach our household members to not speak to strangers.[/b]

[b]Though I cannot verify the authenticity of the story, I believe you can learn something from it.
You might have received it before but I don't want to take chances.


About a month ago, a family friend in Abuja received anonymous telephone

calls and text messages demanding a ransom of NGN1,200,000, failure

which he and/or members of his family would either be kidnapped or shot.

No reason was given for the threat. The gang was very thorough in their

details of my friend's family and his movement. They gave him the first

and middle names of each of his children and his wife, which were known

only to very close relatives. On one occasion, the gang gave a

description of the clothes he wore on a particular day and the times he

went out and came in.



The recipient was advised to play along with the group while efforts

were made to contact the State Security Service (SSS) and the Police.



Two weeks ago, the gang issued a 48-hour ultimatum for the money to be

paid.

The SSS contacted the management of the commercial bank nominated by the

gang for the deposit of the ransom. My friend was then advised to

deposit the sum of NGN200,000 in the Abuja account. Three hours after

the deposit was made, attempt was made to withdraw the money in a branch

of the bank in Lagos. The bank immediately alerted the police who

arrested the man and kept him incommunicado.



As other members of the gang could not reach their member who was then

in Police custody, they rang my friend to enquire if he reported the

banking details to security agencies. When my friend enquired why they

asked, he was told that they had neither seen nor heard from the man

they sent to collect the ransom from the bank. The gang appeared to

have bought the lie sold to them by my friend when he told them that the

man might have absconded with the money. Two hours later, they sent an

account in another commercial bank for the remittance of the balance

ransom.



The security agencies again placed alert on the account after which my

friend paid in NGN200,000. Soon after the deposit was made, two men

worked into a branch of the commercial bank, again in Lagos, to withdraw

the money. They were both arrested and handed over to the police. All

three men are now being interrogated by the FCT Command of the Nigeria

Police.



In the course of the investigation, it was found that all three men had

been contracted by my friend to drill a borehole in his house about two

months ago.

While they were contstructing the borehole, my friend's wife had

occasions to take them in her car to some places in Abuja to purchase

materials for the works. On one occasion, she had left a file

containing her school records and other personal documents on the back

seat of the car. A member of the gang scanned through the file and

extracted some vital personal information with the use of his mobile

phone. Also, during the course of the two weeks when they drilled the

borehole, they had interviewed my friend's two little children, aged

four and three, to know their full names.



There is so much we can learn from this incident. First, personal and

sensitive information should not be left in a place where unauthorized

persons could have access to them. Second, in our homes we should use

only workmen who have been referenced and/or are familiar. And third,

we should teach our household members to not speak to strangers.[/b]

[b]A husband and wife, who were heavily pregnant with cocaine have been delivered of ‘their babies’ at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport (MMIA), in Lagos.

The couple, who allegedly ingested 1800 grammes of cocaine, had flown into the country on a South African Airline, the Commissioner of Police (CP) at the airport, Mr Jonathan Johnson, told reporters yesterday.

According to Johnson, the suspects, whose names were not mentioned, had flown in from Venezuela as husband and wife.

Shortly after their arrest and the induced delivery of the 1800 grammes package, the police handed the suspects over to the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) for further investigations.

“We were able to arrest them based on information we received. We hope that the NDLEA is still going on with its investigations,” Jonathan said.

Confirming the arrest, the NDLEA revealed that its agents at the MMIA, also held another drug dealer, who attempted to smuggle 1.937 kilogrammes of cocaine to Frankfurt, Germany.

The suspect, Utubor Godwin, 30, with international passport number A00084414 tested positive to drug ingestion on June 11 at the central screening area, at about 7.13 p.m., during the outward clearance of Alitalia passengers.

Narcotic agents later found out that Godwin had once been arrested at the Lagos airport, on September 13, 2007, for ingesting 1.387 kilogrammes of cocaine. He was sentenced to five months imprisonment by Justice Mohammed Abdul of the Federal High Court, Ikoyi, Lagos.

NDLEA spokesman, Mitchell Ofoyeju, said: “Few months after serving his jail term, Godwin, who is apparently undeterred by the five months sentence, went back into the criminal act with a sense of aggression. This time, he ingested 105 wraps of substance that tested positive for cocaine weighing 1.937 kg, with an estimated street value of about N22 million in Lagos.

“The suspect has owned up to the crime stating that it was a mistake and a big shame. He said that he could not talk, claiming that God knew how he resisted the temptation. They promised to pay him 5000 Euros.”

A father of two, the suspect sells used tyres at Ladipo Market, Lagos and resides at 5, Oni Street, Egbeda, Lagos. He hails from Esan Central in Edo State.

According to Ofoyeju, investigations of 17 drug cases recently decided at the Federal High Court, Ikoyi, revealed the main reason why drug convicts and couriers are actually attracted to the money-spinning crime despite concerted efforts by the anti-narcotic agency.

He said that of the 17 cases examined, four of the convicts caught with 29.9 kg of cannabis, 150 grammes of cannabis, 200 grammes of cannabis and 1.472 kg of heroin, got the highest sentence of three years each.

One convict caught with 900 grammes of cocaine was sentenced to two years and another found with 61.5 kg of cannabis got 15 months imprisonment. Four others bagged one year imprisonment each and one of them was fined N200,000 in addition. Three were sentenced to nine months while two others got eight months each. Another got seven months.

Three convicts got six months, one got four months and two, three months, while two other persons, found with 400 and 500 grammes of cannabis, got two months imprisonment each.

Worried by the development, the NDLEA Chairman, Ahmadu Giade, said that the trend was frustrating the country’s efforts in counter-narcotics. He argued that the greatest incitement to crime is the hope of escaping punishment and that for crime to reduce, the punishment must be seen to be commensurate, so as to correct and deter rather than induce crime.

The NDLEA boss also opposed death penalty for drug crime stating that capital penalty has become unfashionable in the world today.

“We are all stakeholders and the judiciary has a major stake. The profit in illicit drug trade is large while the punishment is mild. This problem of light sentences for drug convicts is fundamental and the sooner we appreciate our individual responsibilities the better,” Giade said.

While commenting on the amendment Act of the Agency, Giade said that the process of amendment was on-going but stakeholders must look inwards.

Besides some gray areas that have to deal with asset forfeiture, the Giade said, “The issue of punishment is very clear. The NDLEA Act prescribes 15 years minimum and 25 years maximum. There is no perfect law anywhere. Under the Agency’s Act, we have had sentences of 15 years and above.”

During his meeting with reporters, Johnson vowed to stamp out crime at the airport. He disclosed that his men also detected some black spots, including a Suya spot at the airport and on the Oshodi /Airport Road, where they have now mounted surveillance.

He said that about 17 arrests had been made and suspects charged to court, since he assumed duty about three weeks ago.

As part of efforts to wipe out crime at the airport, Johnson said he had also set up a task force, with officers that would be in mufti, at the arrival and departure halls of the airport.

Police in Yenagoa say they are trying to establish the culpability of a suspect held over the assassination attempt on Governor Timipre Sylva’s senior special, assistant on youth and conflict resolution, Mike Wenibowei.

Assistant Commissioner of Police in charge of the State Criminal Investigations Department (SCID), Mr. Dave Akinremi told reporters that although they recovered two pump action rifles from Famous Daunemigha’s premises, they might not be the guns used in the attack.

Akinremi also said that the victim of the assassination attack, Wenibowei, had identified Daunemigha as one of the two persons with the gunman at the time of the incident on Thursday, June 4.

It is still unclear why Daunemigha was arrested, but sources said it might be in connection with issues arising from a press interview he granted some journalists. The police are now holding him over the assassination attempt on Wenibowei.

Akinremi explained that the pellets picked up at the scene of the attack were AK 47 pellets and only ballisticians at a forensic laboratory would be able to determine if any of the two rifles displayed were used in the assassination attempt.

He also stated that no bullets were found in the search, disclosing that the suspect had also denied ownership of the two rifles police allegedly found in his premises.

But Daunemigha’s lawyers said the two pump action rifles were planted on the premises of their client.

Osom John-Jacob Makbere said they were ready to contest the police allegations through the legal process, as there was no material thing in the police case against his client and that they were only trying to curry media sympathy.

On police disclosure that the victim had identified his client as one of those with the gunman, Makbere said the victim had sounded more than ambiguous as a day earlier, had said one of the persons resembled his client.

He reiterated that the state government was behind Daunemigha’s travails, lamenting that government had turned out to be something not worthy of its definition by trying to destroy his client’s wine bar business and surveillance job with Saipem.

Makbere described Daunemigha as a civic person, whose civic nature attracted political appointment from Governor Sylva. He said that he was also a one-time vice president of the Ijaw Youth Council (IYC).[/b]

All na the same thing !

police hq

The Children of Israel [/color]

"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."

"What's that, Joey?" asked Goldblatt.

"Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"

"Right.” And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"

"Er, right."

"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"

"Again you're right."

"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"

"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"

"What were all the grown-ups doing?"

Belly Buttons Explained [color=#000099]

Q: How do babies get their belly buttons?

A: When God finishes making little babies, He lines them all up in a row. Then he walks along in front of them. He pokes each one in the tummy with His finger and says, “You’re done…you’re done…you’re done…”

Not for nigerian roads !

Clean but that price na CUT NECK !