₦airaland Forum

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

It is well sir. Your story is touching. From your explanation, it seems you are the one begging to keep the marriage as you are the complainant.

If I might advise sir. Stop complaining, and look for something to engage in different from your usual activities. Give your children enough attention. For now, ignore her. I can assure you, she will come to her sense once she noticed she is becoming of no use. No one wants to be regarded as useless. And above all, pray. God will restore your home.

Beautiful write up. Thank you sir.
Happy Easter Sunday celebration.

Adexgentle005:
Good for you. Not everyone is as lucky as you. So you weren’t financially stable when you were single?

I was, I became more stable that is what I meant to type. Like increase in revenue or income.

Adexgentle005:
Nothing guarantees you’d be rich staying single is an understatement. But you won’t have to worry about anything while single.

From my experience, I became financially stable when I got married, and my hustle became lighter compared to when I was single

Adexgentle005:
Nothing guarantees you’d be rich staying single is an understatement. But you won’t have to worry about anything while single.

From my experience, I became more financially stable when I got married. The funny thing is the hustle became lighter compared to when I was still single.

Adexgentle005:
My brother I couldn’t believe I’ve spent 100k in just two months. Money for this, money for that. It’s really crazy out there! Sometimes I think about that too, is it not better to be single and have peace of mind?

🤣🤣🤣 just small 100k in 2 months. Me that my average weekly expense dey reach 35-45k. Between Friday to Sunday(today) more than 28k has vanished from my account.

Just pray for abundance ni. Bcoz the expenses won't go down 🤣 no be curse ooo na reality.

Anyway, I pray to God to continue to meet our needs. You are bless and have a flourishing week.

ManirBK:
8 local government remain bro Kano has 40 local government 32 now declared and the NNPP candidate is set to be the winner

Kano has 44 local government

franchasofficia:
Stop the mathematics, it is possible if you are smart and leverage on the US Nigerian sides.



A friend once took a loan in the US when Dollar shot to 900 and used it to buy land around Lekki phase 2 and built a semi detached duplex which he resold within a year and doubled his money and repaid the loan.



I know another who takes US loan to buy used laptops and mobile phones and sell in Nigeria to make a lot of money on a steady basis.



I know a lot of what guys do to make huge money leveraging on US Nigeria sides, but I wont be revealing more here for now.




Stop thinking those making money abroad more than others are just making all the money by working their ass off, most are leveraging on abroad Nigeria ends of business.


That's one of the advantage of having trusted, reliable friends and family back in Nigeria when you travel abroad, they help you grow faster through businesses and other profitable ventures without ripping you off

When did 1 dollar shot to 900 naira in Nigeria? If I recollect, it is less than a 7 month ago. How did your friend took a loan with that period and within a year build and sold the house double of the money. Please you guys should be taking it easy with your lies biko.

seunmsg:
Sometimes, we have to look at the bigger picture. NC and NW gave Tinubu this victory. They can both demand for the Senate president ahead of the SS.

This country is divided and we need to start the healing process. I’m not saying SS should be denied anything. I’m only saying that conceding the senate Presidency to the SE will start the healing process, I think we should give it a trial. I’m sure our SS brothers won’t oppose their SE brother getting the Senate presidency.

Are you saying we should pander to the Igbos despite their bad blood toward us? That will not happen! SS is more politically reliable than SE. Until they work for it no sensitive post should be handed over to them on a platter.

seunmsg:
Election results in Kebbi state:
APC; 581,552;
PDP; 154,282

Is this figure correct? If so, game over for PDP

tensazangetsu20:
Allow her go. She go shock when she reach there. They all think getting married abroad is easy lol. Besides a student visa doesnt guarantee japa especially in the US but then even if you go as her dependant you arent allowed to work too.

Na wetin no make me thinking of going to US via study. How will my wife not allowed to work.

Yes, same here.
The network is now restore

mrmichael1:
QTS is open.
Mostly for science teachers, Maths, Physics, Chemistry especially,
Get your TRCN cert and delve into it.
You can get a letter from your uni to prove your were taught in English so no need for English test.
Mind you, teaching in UK is not the same as Naija o
To be forewarned is to be forearmed.
A word is enough for the wise.
Congrats to the qualified teachers.

If you are a graduate of the University of Ibadan. And you want to apply for English proficiency kindly contact me 07068412223.

If this story is true. Young man aborts the mission. And in your next relationship be in charge and don't allow this nonsense.

This your ex will be back in a month asking you to take her back. Don't try to accommodate her.

Kpartners:
This man's brother Dahiru was at a time the biggest smuggler in the world
In fact President Yar'Adua negotiated with him to end snuggling and gave him time to cross hundreds of truck load of goods from Cotonou and Niger Republic before quitting the trade

Very powerful man

He was a friend to Yar'adua and also a big financier of his governorship and presidential campaign.

During Obj's era, he almost lost his life. Baba deals with am.

ochejoseph:
Atiku is the most prepared to lead Nigeria facts dont lie

Na you write articles and na you be the first to comment. Na wa ooo

Below are the states Asiwaju will get a bloc votes
Lagos
Ekiti
Ondo
Osun
Oyo
Ogun
Kano
Kebbi
Sokoto
Kwara
Niger
Kogi
Nasarawa
Borno
Yobe
Gombe
Jigawa
Kaduna
Zamfara
Kastina
State to win, but not with bloc votes
Bauchi
Edo
Ebonyi
States Asiwaju will get 25% and Above
Delta
Benue
Rivers
Cross Rivers
Imo
Bayelsa
Plateau
Adamawa
F.C.T
Taraba
States Asiwaju might not perform
Abia
Anambra
Enugu
Akwa-Ibom

Likely outcome for the forthcoming election.
You are free to disagree with me. Kindly refrain from insulting me.

VladimirPutiin:
It’s not right that both the presidential candidate and party chairman are from the same region.

It is not just that, the BOT chairman and PDP Governors Forum are headed by Northerners that is why it does not make sense at all for all key positions to be in the hands of Nottherners.

sammieking2017:
As I'm writing this, I don't even know what to do. The wife sees my heart but to the husband, I'm the thief. And this is an organization I go the extra mile to satisfy their them and customers.

Your biggest mistake is going the extra mile. All you should have done is do what is needful and not extra. Speaking from experience it does not end well. Moreover, I don't see how resigning from the organization affects your mum employment.

Lord, we are grateful for your protection over your servant Dunsin Oyekan. Thank you for frustrating the effort of the wicked one.

Blessedmercy8:
He's earning a 100k and wants to settle down. Can you as a lady earning a little above him agree to marry him?

Is it advisable to enter into marriage with such income considering the situation of the economy?

If you one marry, marry abeg. Are you marrying him because of the present or do you see a bright future with him.

I Rep Ikoro-Ekiti Aka Eso-obe

[quote author= post=115310405]Minus Lagos 7.1 million registered voters which voting population cut across all tribes in Nigeria Southwest registered voters is the lowest[/quote]Says who? Minus Lagos Southwest has 11.7 million registered voters compared to SE with 11.2 million. Shei you can see that we are above you guys in everything politically.

Segunlords:
Shettima l heard is a brilliant guy...

Extremely brilliant, intelligent, and articulate.

Udemzy05:
Lol..hope he no dey owe AMCON?

Na him top the list with 192 Billion naira indebted to banks

Udemzy05:
Lol..hope he no dey owe AMCON?

Na him top the list. With 192 billions in bank debt.

A big congratulations to you. Keep soaring

MikoB:
Even if Osinbajo doesn't have the solutions to the problems in naija, is it Tinubu that has it? Enjoy your temporary delegates induced victory for now, I can bet you it is temporary. I never denied I wasn't confident of osinbajo winning but I have also admitted that something went wrong in the last minute, but to God be the glory, it will end in praise, most of you will understand later and will also realise you are into one chance.

���
Hope your next prayer point is not for Buhari to die, so you dearest Osinbajo can occupy the seat, because that won't happen.
For your information, Tinubu is far more better and capable than your osinbajo. Be eloquent does not translate to be an effective leader.
My friend come down from your high horse you are not better than anyone simple because you have France citizenship. I imagine how you will behave if you have UK, US or Canada citizenship.

MikoB:
Let me start by thanking those that have been mailing me since the last presidential primary of the APC, I really appreciate, I am good and okay, even though I was dissapointed on the turn of events in the primary.Those that have been following my posts and threads can testify that I was so sure of Osinbajo winning the ticket, what prompted this believe is a story for another day but I can assure you that, there was an arrangement in the presidency that influence of moneybags will not be allowed.Anyway, Atiku and Tinubu have bribed their ways into the contest, I wish nigeria all the best, I have dual citizenship of nigeria and france, but I place Nigeria above france in my preference before, but can't be sure of that again, I have never seen a country that is so allergic to progress like nigeria in my life, how can a country that want progress will be talking about Tinubu and Atiku in this century, I am not underestimating the others in the race, but will all know the situations we find ourselves in the country will make it very difficult for someone like Obi to win. I am a yoruba man, naturally I am suppose not to be sad over the candidacy of Tinubu, but I am not happy because morally I can't, even though I am not going to campaign against him, but I will rather put more energy and effort on my business all over than to waste my time on a country that is not ready, I can assure most of celebrating that Osinbajo did not clinch the ticket, you will be the first people that will ask for him after some time, for those that stood by PYO, I can't thank you enough, but you guys will be counted as those that stood by your conviction of a better Nigeria, Osinbajo even asked his friends that wanted to give money to delegates not to do it, the votes he got at the primary were genuine votes from delegates that wanted a better country, some of the aspirants went as far as given 3million dollars each to some governors, 30k dollars each to many delegates and you expect something good after all. A country loved by God will be govern by good leaders. Thank you

I remember vividly, the way you were so confident osinbajo is the anointed candidate to clinch the ticket. Now that he lost out because Buhari refused to interfere in the presidential primary, you now hinged his loss on delegate inducement. This is a man (Osinbajo) who is not grounded politically to win even a senatorial primary. If he is wanted by the party how come Ameachi a minister pools more votes than him.

You can give your commitment to France, we that believe in Nigeria see the coming glorious years of the country. Mind you nothing proof that osinbajo has the answer to the myriad of problems confronting Nigeria.

Adexxi:
Someone you've seen since when you are in the university you are now standing for him The only constant is change .

Anyone in that complex belongs to one cultist or the other, I'm telling you the fact cos' I really know about them there . Infact there is even ghetto full of bad boys at the back of that complex

Hello brother, which complex in question? So I can avoid it totally whenever I am in Iwo road or is the environment.

Shawa is relatively cheap. The fish my wife bought today for 1700 in Ojoo Ibadan. I just dey look, omo things are extremely expensive.