₦airaland Forum

olanshi: What's the color of the Interior?

Cream & light brown.

cretin: yeah..its too late....the v8 isnt designed for city driving..its for highways and towing.the sequioa has crappy fuel consumption


15mpg city, 18mpg highway..........thus in lagos holdups u will be averaging about 10mpg, compared to the v6 highlander that gets abt 25mpg highway and 20/21 city.

big suvs are gas guzzlewrs..nuthing u can do about it.

Guess I'm well and truly scr@w*d!

Funny enough, Lagos is right now virtually flooded with 2001-04 model of Sequoia. Every junction or corner, there's one in front, beside or behind you I wonder how they cope with the fuel guzzling?

Do you have DVD system with headrest screens for 2005 Toyota Sequoia?

gulfer: I am not one but drive a V-6 Suv; and i will tell you two things:
1. Expect more power (Torque) from the engines
2. Expect a considerably higher fuel consumption especially for city driving.

Thanks bro! More torque sounds very encouraging for when I hit Lagos-Benin-Asaba expressway

What make is your SUV if you don't mind sharing?

This car is going to be on daily city driving in Lagos. Well, its too late for me now, I've already paid and the car arrives in couple of weeks

I read the thread on V6 engines with much interest and noticed there were some conflicting opinions about fuel consumption. I think most people agreed there is definitely higher fuel consumption in city driving.

I'm taking delivery of a Toyota Sequoia SR5 2005 model shortly. I'd love to hear from Sequoia owners especially as regards reliable mechanics, fuel consumption and related issues. Apologies if there is already a thread on this.

bennyraz: D guy wrote and planned his script very well with a nice exit strategy. Omo no be wasa o. D All what he did was on purpose for the girls family not to like him. Later he would tell the girl that they should break up since her family doesn't like him. Omo na one chance d girl enter o. Guys guys guys>>> players, players, players

Gbam! Na di new format be dis

ileobatojo: You are right, I went back and read your posts and there is a consistency to them. I see now that your post that I quoted was tongue in cheek; so to you, I apologize.

Thanks! Apologies (a rare thing on NL ) heartily accepted!

omosexy1: ... a wedding is a family thing and not only for the groom to bear the expense alone, each member of the family contributes something to ensure that the wedding is successful. That is how it is been done in Igbo land oh. Anyways for peace and for love, contribute.

Yes, this is indeed how it is done in Igboland nowadays by family members who, out of love for their brother, contribute something to support him in marrying a wife. But it is not the cultural norm or ideal.

ileobatojo: I'm sorry, before you started all your previous rants on this thread o, when you saw Chinwe's user name, what tribe did you initially assume she was from?

LOL! Did you read the 'rant' in which I stated that I'd read the other threads originated by the same OP with user names 'chinwem' and 'chinwe11'? Which other ethnic group in Nigeria could I have possibly deduced?

Given that you've already admitted earlier in this thread to not having read through the entire thread, I very much doubt you actually read or comprehended my 'previous rants'.

chinwe11: Thanks for your advices/insults sha. I have read them through, and i have decided to help out. I guess the reason why i had to bring this to NL is because most of my frieds kept warning me before wedding that 'DO NOT PAY FOR ANYTHING DURING THE WEDDING. IT IS THE HUSBANDS RESPONSIBILITY'. Even my relatives said the same thing, that in Ibo land its the man's duty. You get lots of advise from other women, this morning, a friend was telling me that after marriage, you keep your money and spend his, and they say that is what happens in thier homes. When the issue of bringing the 80% came up, i got worried,, cos i felt it would be like i was marrying my self. I have enough money to foot our wedding and even double of that. But was just worried it would be like i was marrying myself, or the man might take me for granted. Also i forgot to add that when i said he should borrow, i planned that we would pay back from my money, so it wont just look like i GAVE him the wedding money. Anyway sha i would bring my 80%.

Thanks for all your advises oh! I would post the wedding pictures here maybe! Thanks

Chinwe,

You/your relatives are absolutely correct that among the Igbo, it is the man's responsibility to cover the costs of the traditional marriage and church wedding. No question whatsoever about that.

It is indeed your prerogative to insist that your fiance shoulder the entire costs of the wedding. In which case, it is your responsibility to find a man that is willing and able to bear the entire costs of marrying you.

Trimia: Apparently d only part of my post you saw was d rent. Did you not see my suggestion to suspend d wedding? And its men like you that will still laugh at d woman for not gettin married at d age of 29

FYI, I myself have very close female relatives who are pretty, well-educated, higher flyers in their chosen professions or businesses and fantastic personalities but who are still single in their 30s and 40s for various reasons. I will rather they remain single than sell themselves cheaply into misery and bondage in the name of marriage by exhibiting desperation e.g. advising a fiance to borrow money to marry her.

Trimia: paying for an apartment is not blowin money, furnishing and renovating it with 80% of money intended for a weddin is blowin it. What do you need that much furnishing in a house for at once. You can gradually buy things. I believe he wasn't sitting/sleeping on the floor in his previous apartment so he at least had basic furniture. The previous rent was due to expire in september anyways so how did he plan on renewing it? With the weddin money i guess. And beside, if he was cash strapped, instead of sayin "oya pay now shebi you have money" he should have put off weddin preparations for a while thats what every rational human being would do.

Did you actually read through this thread at all?

Or you just jumped in midway?

Do you know actually know the difference between extending a lease on an apartment vs renting a new apartment i.e. 'old' tenant vs 'new' tenant?

Have you ever paid rent on a new apartment or had any previous experience in dealing with housing agents, landlords or doing renovations when moving into a new apartment?

Did you actually read the part about the old house caving in?

Or the numerous analyses on this thread which explained that the cost of getting a new apartment is often 3-4 times the cost of the renewing the rent on an old apartment?

And if (for example)the OP's fiance had set aside N1m (500k for the wedding and 500k for the rent on the old apartment), that if he suddenly had to move to a new apartment, that entire 1m would be consumed on the rent, fees and renovations?

So in your view, he should keep the 500k for the wedding intact?

And then what next? When the rent on the old house expires, he should sleep under bridge?

Or you too advocate that he should borrow money and thus incur debt just because a selfish, desperate woman feels she is getting too old?

dayokanu: The bolded is why the ability of some women to think rationally is always questioned.

So paying for an apartment is now Blowing money? And stingy is the adjective to describe someone who spent his money on a much more important thing (renting a house) Would you have been ok if he finance the wedding but he and the wife after the extravagant wedding are squatting with friends?

So for him not to be stingy, he should have stayed in the falling building and paid for the owambe wedding so the building can fall on the and crush them to death?

Excellent thinking

My brother, its simply incredible. Between this thread and the one about a wife's 'entitlement' to inflate grocery bills or pinch hubby's money, I honestly don't know which is more depressing.

The mindsets or attitudes of some women that are on display here are not new or a revelation; in fact, the thread has just reinforced some old, ugly stereotypes about Nigerian women. But to see such mindsets being vigorously defended and even advocated by supposedly educated, enlightened and liberated women is mind boggling.

Just imagine!!! Squandering money on a one-off ceremony is now a more important priority than securing a roof over one's head?

And this is coming from supposedly adult women?

We hail thee, Nairaland

blank: So many lazy men on this thread. Someone even said that if he sees the woman that will pay 100% that he will jump at it. Tomorrow they will say women are gold diggers.

So many foolish women on this thread who feel that a man should not spend the limited money available to him on paying his rent but rather blow it on marrying a jezebel that had the gumption to advise him to borrow money, not to acquire an asset or invest in business, but to squander on buying fripperies and feeding the multitude at her fantasy wedding.

victorian: Thats most Nija men for you.. Lazy, Golddiggers and the first to cry foul after selling themselves cheap to women.. sorry guys but its true.

That's most naija women for you. Lazy, selfish, money-grubbing, hypocritical jezebels who advise and encourage their hubby/fiance to incur debt on squandermania at a one-off ceremony rather than pay rent for a roof over his head.

I can see some ladies don't really understand the rent issue. For the benefit of our abroad-based ladies who keep banging on about the man being shady because he would have had to pay the rent in September anyway, here is how the real estate market really works in Lagos and how it impacted the OP's fiance's spending decisions.

A new tenant in Lagos usually pays 2 years rent plus agency and legal fees; some landlords demand a non-refundable 'caution' deposit. Each of these additional fees could be 5% or 10% or even 20% of the 2 years rent as dictated by the landlord and the agent. So the agency and legal fees on an apartment that goes for 1m/yr can easily be an extra 400k @ 10% agency and 10% legal i.e. 2.4m in total. Unless a new building, the tenant now has to pay for repairs and renovations to make place habitable because the former tenant would have removed any fixtures he installed, ripped out electrical fittings, made vents in the walls for AC etc, etc. An old tenant renewing pays only a year's rent. No agency or legal fees again. No repairs/renovations required. Old tenants usually pay a lower rent than a new tenant in the same building.

Now imagine OP's HTB was paying rent of 500k per annum as an 'old tenant' at Anthony Village or Mende. He has 1m available to him right now. He budgeted 500k for the wedding and the other 500k to renew the rent. Suddenly, he has to evacuate because the building is caving in. To get an equivalent apartment in those areas today (and God is with him), he has to pay at least 700-800k. If he is extremely very lucky, he may find an old, dingy building in a run-down section of that area for 600-700k and the landlord agrees to take one year. He will still have to pay agency and legal on the one year rent (i.e.600-700k plus another 120-140k). He then has to renovate which pretty much swallows up the entire 1m he has available. Even if he were to look elsewhere, to get a decent apartment in any reasonably habitable area of Lagos today, you are looking at least 400k plus x 2 yrs as rent only; you then add 10% agency and 10% legal fees. Plus cost of renovations.

Either which way, I can perfectly understand how OP's HTB could have spent most or even the entire amount budgeted for the wedding on getting another apartment and now has very little or nothing left for the wedding. So yes, an unexpected need to relocate to another apartment in Lagos can possibly put a man in OP' HTB's position.

Meanwhile, I read the other thread. Its does seem that OP is the one pushing her HTB into marriage. The guy is prolly reluctant to marry her for whatever reason but because they've been together so long, he finds it difficult to tell her straight so he keeps prevaricating with hope she will get tired and leave.

My view is that this wedding should be postponed until both parties sort out the fundamental issues between them.

For the record, I don't like OP's advising her HTB to borrow money to marry her; it creates the impression that she is a woman that will readily push him into crime or rituals just to get money to meet her demands.

BTW, yes, many landlords let out uncompleted buildings in Lagos and thereby force tenants to complete their houses for them. If you don't like, you waka. Rent is a seller's market in Lagos. Too much money chasing too few available houses. That's why there are so many rental scams everyday in Lagos cos dubious agents exploit people desperate for accommodation.

Ivynwa: Haba! Women have dignity too just like men and wants to feel married by a man.

I thought man and woman come together to marry each other?

Or are we still doing it the traditional way of our ancestors in which a man 'takes a wife'?

Western women have dignity too and their culture is for the woman's family to bear most of the costs or the couple splits the wedding bill 50/50.

Is it not you naija woman that are agitating to enjoy the same legal rights and social protections as Western women?

Ehen! If you want to enjoy the same rights as oyibo women, you must bear the same burden as they do!

Una want chop Western cake and turn round to still eat naija cake

Equality of men and women must be across the board including wedding expenses

jennykadry: I am...from ABIA STATE...

No wonder!

moremi2008: Nigerian women need to think carefully about their marital expectations. You can't eat your cake and have it too. You can't demand to be treated as a partner but refuse to act like a true partner when the chips are down.

U dey mind dem? Even the most militant feminist activists in Nigeria are hypocrites when it comes to money matters in relationship/marriage.

Outstrip: That would still be a matter of irresponsibility on the part of the tenant. Why give your money up when you know that landlords do this all the time. Like you said though there is the option of shifting the wedding forward

Its pretty obvious from the above that you don't live in Lagos/Nigeria

blank: Abeg, talk for yourself jor. Igbo guys are getting married early. You seem to be stuck in old school thinking.

Yes, half a dozen Lagos Igbo guys and another half-dozen Abia/Imo guys

bigiyaro: blacklion, u don‘t need to hide behind culture or all dat kind of shit, 35 years is the ideal age for a man to get married.look at naija today,does it resemble a place with any tradition or culture?

Culture is relevant here because Igbo men are generally discouraged from marrying until they can bear the cost of marriage ceremonies and provide for a family. Men from other ethnic groups can easily marry at 25 years because they get support from family members towards wedding costs, paying rent, buying a car etc. Not so with the Igbo.

Given the current economic situation in Nigeria, an average Igbo young man who completes education or business apprenticeship in his early-mid-twenties, will take about 5-6 years just to find his feet in life. He then needs another 5 years or so to mature psychologically for marriage i.e. sow his wild oats thoroughly

bigiyaro: As far as am concern,a man should be married latest by 35. By that age a man that is worth his onions should have been established in his career or trade.i have an uncle that uses his pension to pay his first child‘s secondary school fees,he don‘t even gel with his children,he feels they want to be pampered and the children feels their father too stingy and old school(this guy is closing in on 68 and his first son is about 16,he got 5 more). There is time for every thing under the sun,most guys hide under so many excuses not to get married but if you dig deeper you will discover that such guys are just plain afraid of committement. As for me i want to play ps3 with my children,take them swimming and still show off my 6 packs,i can‘t afford looking a grand dad to my children. So guys please try and get married by 35 or at most 38. Life is too short.

Speak for your culture. In my culture, 35 years is just about time to start thinking about marriage.

There is no correct answer to this question that applies accurately to all Nigerian men. The question is culture-bound.

The culture of some ethnic groups in Nigeria entails that most men from that culture will generally marry later in life than their peers who are from other ethnic groups.

The best answer is that a man should marry when he personally is ready - financially and psychologically.

Jenny Agun: I heard of my cousin's mother in law who added lots of pepper to the daughter-in-law's pepersoup when she just had a baby just to punish the young lady. Why?

Perhaps Mama likes her pepper soup a lot more extra hot/spicy than your cousin.

maclatunji: This cabal issue is becoming ridiculous. I have some questions:

1. Who are the cabal?

2. What does this cabal want?

3. How was this cabal discovered?

4. Is this cabal existent at all?

5. Are some of us mistaking friendship and solidarity for this 'cabal'?

6. Are you a member of the cabal?

7. Can you tell me more about your organisation?

Why are you mourning louder than the bereaved?

toba: v6 common problems are gear box and fuel consumption.

My car dey drink fuel like humans drink water when thirsty

Can you give us more idea of your car drinking fuel? Say a trip from Lekki Phase 1 to MMA on a Sunday afternoon when there is light traffic, how much do you estimate it would consume?

20ltrs? 30ltrs?

Quarter-tank? Half-tank? What's the capacity of your tank?

This is 100% pure Tales by Moonlight concocted by the NL Family Section Cabal

The story is typical naija women's favourite movie script - wicked MIL poisons DIL starring Patience Ozokwor and the usual suspects

Why don't we ever hear of FIL poisoning SIL? Why always MIL vs DIL?

obi123: my very good friend in Scotland told me ysdty that she caught her mother in law when she was trying to put something in her food, they don't get along and she came from naija for holiday , and that ystdy when she wanted to have her shower , her 2 kids were in the sitting room, her mother in law was in her room.
While she was in the shower, she heard the kitchen door open and Something told her to come out of the shower and see who opened it , she came out of the bathroom but she left the shower running , so the mother in law obviously thought she was still in the bathroom, that is how my friend walked towards the kitchen door and in full view , there was her mother- in- law standing over her pot of food ,taking something from her wrapper and sprinkling it into the food .
She startled the woman and the thing dropped , her mother in law picked it up and ran out of the house .
Immediately , my friend called her husband and reported the incident, told him that the mum cannot return to the house or else she will leave with the kids .
The poor man called his mum to find out what had happened and as expected she told him all sorts of stories , anyway he paid for her to stay the night at a bed and breakfast , in the mean time my friend had packed all her belongings and thrown it outside .
This morning the husband who is a scientist took the food to the lab and it contained very high level of aspergillus quadrilineatus aka some sort of toxins that's very lethal.

Nollywood Tales By Moonlight!

Lexusgs430: V8 in my summation, are one of the engines out there. Three points to note -:
(1) cost of fuelling ie consumption
(2) our mechanics scared of the V8 under the bonnet
(3) if the engine goes wrong, would be best to get another better engine than repair

Thanks bro. But its like most SUV come with V8 so one has no other option if going for SUV.