₦airaland Forum

romantic words will do the magic

even heaven won't forgive him

jadyclem:
Your description of a god-fearing man is very shallow. The fact that a man loves God doesn't mean that he's not romantic or he's got no game. We get many levels brothers in my church with styles and class that actually love God. The fact say person love God and chooses to live for God no mean say d person no sabi catch fun or do shits because your definition of fun and mine no fit be the same but that one no mean say you dey get more grove than me. Just saying!

. seen

not all trending topic will reach FP observe that

zenith bank are having big issue today I can't even withdraw my money I tried pos still same thing

Omanze:
Good piece op.

Those criticizing this post may be grossly guilty of the truth you itemized.

thanks

who said men don like good girls me I want yo marry a good girl oo

before you read this post pls check my other post why I talked about quitting weed for a week

In the past 10 years, I’ve smoked a lot of weed. At some point, it became a problem. Stopping has been an ongoing struggle for the past several years. I’ve failed plenty of times so I’m slow to say that I’m 100% out the other side. But I’m far enough now to have some perspective.


First I want to tell you what it feels like to smoke every day and feel trapped. Then I want to break down what I learnt about breaking the cycle and moving on.

It feels so good and it feels so bad.

Weed is a funny drug. My relationship with it was social at first and then became something personal. There’s no on point in the journey when I can say that I began to realise it was a problem. But after a certain point, I began to both hate it and love it.

I don’t feel it’s necessary for me to discuss why it was easy to love weed at the beginning. If you’ve ever watched Pineapple Express, The Big Lebowski or Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, you get the idea. So I’ll move on to the part where it became a negative force instead.



When you smoke weed everything is ok. Your problems don’t seem as big. The people that annoy you don’t matter as much. Your ambitions get smaller. The bar you set or yourself gets lower. It feels like a beautiful place to be. And all the stoner movies you watch help give you confirmation bias. It’s totally ok to get stoned all the time and you can still make it in life.

When you smoke a lot of marijuana, you have this ongoing conversation. Each day starts with a resolution that ‘today will be the day that I stop smoking weed’. But as the day goes on, it could be an hour later or it could be five, you begin to think about your plans. You begin to imagine what that first hit on a joint would be like. You begin to talk yourself down and think of reasons why you should delay quitting:

‘Today’s been stressful and I want to relax, I’ll quit tomorrow.’

‘Today was awesome and I want to celebrate, I’ll quit tomorrow.’ 

‘Today’s sunny and I want to make the most of it, I’ll quit tomorrow.’

‘Today it’s raining and I want to get cosy, I’ll quit tomorrow.’

One thing this helps you realise is how creative you can be with your own self-deception. Because the list is endless. You pick an excuse and you give in. You get high again.

The rabbit hole goes as deep as you allow it to



No matter how creative I got with my excuses, this nagging sensation began to eat at me. I’d talk about quitting to my girlfriend, then end up smoking again. I promised myself I was going to quit but it never happened.

This is a painful circle despite how simple the solution for freedom is. Eventually, you have to face up to the fact: smoking this much does not help me become a better person. In fact, it stops me from growing. It’s stalls you for so long that you actually begin moving backwards.



You think that the people around you can’t or would never understand your struggle. You retreat inwards and don’t reach out for help. These are all avoidance tactics to stop you from confronting what has become a big problem.

There is an upside. I’ve made these mistakes already and there is a way to avoid them. The answers are simple and straightforward, but you have to be willing to be brutally honest with yourself.

I felt like I was trapped. That was my first mistake.

When you’re deep in the circle of pain, lies and regret you don’t allow yourself to grow. You’re suffocating your progress and all the challenges around you become bigger and more difficult to tackle. What you’re lacking is reflection. Without it, there is no way to progress. And while you’re still smoking, you can’t reflect in any meaningful way.



Addiction is a prison that exists in your mind. What took me so long to figure out was that the key to the cell was with me the whole time. Reflection is about being honest with yourself. And when you do that for the first time it will hit you hard.

Reflection is a continual process. Because crawling out of this trap is not a one-time thing. It requires you to constantly check yourself and be honest about how you feel. But the more time you’re able to do it the more you’ll realise that you have the power to break out.

I felt like I was alone. That was my second mistake.

You’re not alone. Nobody is. And despite how unique your situation might feel, someone has been there before you. Somebody out there knows how you feel. Somebody out there can sympathise.

When you begin to think that you’re the only person who can understand what this is like, then you’ve let your Ego take over. There are 7 billion people on the planet and millions that have come before us.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are the only person who knows this kind of pain.

Until you can admit that you’re getting in your own way, you’re going to struggle to get help. I dealt with this by reading. I sought out people who’d been through personal struggles and found a way out the other side. Rich Roll was a good place to start for me. His story gave me perspective and began to reduce some of that loneliness.

I never spoke to anyone. That was my third mistake.

Finding the right person to speak to can seem like a big task. Because first of all, you don’t feel like anyone will understand.

Then once you’ve gotten over that, you don’t think anyone will care.

Then you just feel ashamed.

Overcoming each of these hurdles and being honest with someone is a journey in itself.

Breaking down how you feel helps you look at the problem from a different perspective. I wrote notes about the people I wanted to speak to and why I was worried that they wouldn’t care. I wrote down why I thought they would judge me. And as I did that, I began to see that what I was writing seemed ridiculous. My emotions were a cloud of confusion. By writing them down I could test them more honestly.

Small choices can lead you down the right road.

If you want to stop smoking weed there is a way out. If you want to stop any destructive behaviour, you can. Doubt and self-deception may stop you from believing that right now. But it doesn’t alter the fact that you have the power to change what you want about yourself.

There is no one path for everybody.

I spent years wrestling with something that I knew was holding me back. That I wanted to stop but felt powerless to control. I can’t say I have all the answers. But I’ve managed to get this far. And I know others have too.

So this is my advice.

Search for the people that have faced similar challenges. You will find solidarity and strength in their journey.

Search for the people that will listen to your fears. You will find depths of love and compassion that you didn’t know existed.

And don’t be afraid to talk. Because when you do, you’re one step closer to being where you want to be.

There are certain subjects that I tend not to write about. Because they are painful for to admit and I’m scared about how they’ll be received. This is one of them. I wanted to add this note to make it clear — sharing is not easy. But if I can do it, you can too.

drake2:
Wow!. Interesting. Was this C & P?. Or you authored it yourself?

pls be more specific I don't get u

I've been smoking weed regularly since my sophomore year of college, which was about five years ago. It wasn't until my roommates and I moved out of the dorms and into our own apartment that we collectively wondered why we didn't smoke every day. Fast-forward to the present, and I've basically become the resident pothead of POPSUGAR, a title I'm not totally mad about



Before you judge me (not that I care), you should know that modern stoners completely defy the stereotype that our parents still have in their heads. For one, I'm a millennial guy who works full-time and tries to hit the gym five times a week. The key word here is "tries," but you get the point. I'm not permanently glued to the couch at all times eating Ruffles (unless it's the weekend). Recently, I gave up marijuana for a full week, and it was awful.

Now, this wasn't the first occasion I've been away from my stash. When I'm visiting family back at home or I'm travelling, I don't even think about weed. I'm able to sleep and function just as well, and the absence of it truly goes unnoticed. And weirdly, I sometimes experience random phases when I don't really feel like smoking, which is exactly what happened most recently.

Before I knew it, an entire week had passed without me puffing on a joint. However, throughout my little break, I had the worst sleep of my life and suffered from a constant state of stress and anxiety. I had never experienced what seemed close to symptoms of withdrawal before, and I realized how important cannabis has been to my self-care routine.



I'm a pretty chill person in general, and one thing about me is that I'm very good at separating my work life from my personal life. However, it didn't register that weed was what helped me shut off when I got home on particularly stressful days. Instead of enjoying a glass of wine after a long day, I typically smoke a joint while listening to music or watching my favourite show.

During that week when I didn't feel like smoking, I was under significant stress and couldn't help but bring that stress home with me. As a result, I couldn't unwind before bed, and I'd lie awake going through every thought that was flooding my head. By the time morning rolled around, I was exhausted and moody from lack of sleep, and the cycle would repeat the next day and the next.

Finally, I reached a point where marijuana seemed appealing to me again, and thank God. I finally enjoyed quality sleep and woke up feeling so much more refreshed than the days before. And because I had a full night's rest, I was better equipped to handle any lingering stress without feeling overwhelmed.

As I mentioned earlier, I normally sleep just fine on nights I opt out of weed. What I've learned, though, is that smoking helps quiet my thoughts on days I need ice cream and a hug. Most of the time, I use cannabis as an enhancement; not a crutch. It allows me to be more mindful, more appreciative, and present. I don't get high to escape my reality, instead, I use it to help me relax and put things into perspective. After one puff, my problems don't seem so much like problems anymore. But without that little reminder that "things could always be worse," I found myself stuck in a whirlwind of "problems."

Although I don't need cannabis, it's still comforting to know that it's always there to remind me that everything will be OK.

Most decent people detest violence in any guise but nobody has a monopoly on violence. This is why we must pray for peace in Nigeria regardless of who or where you are. War has never been the best answer and it may not be the answer to the problems in Nigeria.



The Country has not even recovered from the last civil war that produced Nigeria's most incompetent rulers in history. The children are still suffering from the vestiges of that war.

The people of goodwill that prefer peace at any cost fail to realize that the only power that brings bullies to the negotiating table, is the proximal and immediate threat of equal and opposite Forces before they give up anything. Indeed, those that have lost their lives and properties, did so in a war already. Nigeria has joined the 10 war-torn countries of the world where school children are no longer safe and kidnapped randomly for ransom to make millions. https://www.savethechildren.org/us/charity-stories/10-worst-conflict-affected-countries-to-be-a-child

Only impunity would blind those that could not defeat Niger Delta Militia or Boko Haram into thinking this is 1967 Administrative Action. It is madness that soldiers would obey the Fulani command to destroy their own land and people today. No Government has monopoly to weapons any group can obtain in the world open market. Indeed, every part of Nigeria knows the Fulani and their Hausa wannabe slaves are the aggressors that must be ganged up on to force them out; if Nigeria wants to remain a loose Federation or broken into nations outright. The old type of unity and conviction to remain Nigerians have gone soured.


If you cannot defend your children, women, land, businesses or yourselves, nothing is left. There is War On Nigerians by Fulani marauders that have already captured most of the Hausa. Negotiation from the position of strength is the history of Nigeria. It is well understood by the militia groups from Boko Haram, Niger Delta Force, MASSOP to OPC. Why then would anyone in his right senses ask any region trying to repel Fulani tonton macoute led by Al Buhari following the footsteps of Usman Dan Fodio, capitulate on some superfluous Peace without strength?

You get what you negotiate not what you deserve. You must negotiate with the oppressors from the position of strength.The oppressed were freed after the costs of many revolts to privileged lives and properties became unbearable for owners, not just out of goodwill. Privilege is not easily given up, it is persistently fought for with blood and sweat until taken.

It is disingenuous to placate people experiencing war that they would lose what has already been lost; blaming victims. They are not your sacrificial lambs to appease your masters. If anything, people must be ready to resist aggression from outside to defend their own land. Those preaching caution must demonstrate their success in restraining aggressors instead of encouraging them in return for pittance. There is no difference between armorless peace seekers and traitors. You don't disengage well armed Fulani with empty peace or goodwill.

There is War going on right now in Nigeria and it may get worse as these leaders have not been the victims of lives and properties lost to Fulani bandits. Senators are outrageously paid to live anywhere in the world with their families. Since they and their families are not full-time residents in Nigeria, they cannot feel the pinch of deaths of the dying men. Many of them cannot walk alone into their houses in their constituencies without being stoned.

Those living in the North-Central have cried for years against Fulani atrocities on their land where farms are destroyed, farmers maimed and women raped. The Governors that are supposed to be the head of security in the states are ignored by Police and Army when their people cry for help against Fulani herdsmen/bandits. The impunity of the Fulani herdsmen has extended deeper into the South where Police arrest victims and let bandits go!

People are killed and maimed inside and outside their homes on their part of the Country by bandits that enjoy the cooperation of soldiers and police. It is true that people will never be united against aggression. But spies, traitors and division within has never stopped determined people from defending themselves on their own land against infiltrators. Indeed infiltrators have actually united the patriotic and courageous people against inside and outside threats.

Though Nigeria almost escaped the abject poverty in the hands of good management that prosecuted a war without borrowing a penny: impunity, selfishness and reckless politics are only sustainable for a short period. Leaders that have never worked hard for money, spent the country's income like drunken sailors. Sooner than later, a false sense of grandeur that money can buy common sense fell under. Incomes made by exporters of natural raw materials and consumers of finished products manufactured outside their reach would and did crash.



Even worse, those that ran the ship to the ground from the time they were in their thirties are still firmly in charge in their eighties. There is enough blame to go round but the impunity that killed the first civilian leaders have switched to impunity to capture the whole of Nigeria the way Usman Dan Fodio captured the Hausa. This is the reason the Northern Border was opened to Fulani anywhere, including Asma boys and supporters of APC of Arab countries: they will not leave.

Do not discount Gorilla (war): fight and run in order to live and fight another day. Before Floods or Earthquakes strikes, some animals would have taken shelter. So it is foolhardy to create an atmosphere of calm and serenity while invaders of your land are at your throats. Those that fled their homelands for dear lives may have run and regrouped to fight another day, never give up. Not even a wise crippled man gets caught when war is foreseeable: (ogun asotele ki npa aro).

Fulani do not care about the Constitution or Good faith and fair dealings implied in every relationship. The common law implied a duty that requires parties to a relationship, to exercise good faith and honest judgment in carrying out their rights and obligations and not act arbitrarily or capriciously or with an improper motive. If humans were that honest with one another, there would be no need for courts, elders or community deliberation to rectify injustice.

ln their quest of getting quick money without labour, Majority of Nigerian youths today have turned towards cybercrime because they feel that's the only thing that can make them wealthy at the comfort of their home. Are they getting rich through this? Yes they are but not all. 


A lazy Nigerian youth might just sit in his room with a smartphone in his hand, register fake Gmail accounts, impersonate a white man or woman and lure his victims into sending money to him from abroad. He keeps scamming people until he's apprehended one day by the Police, Economic financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) or other law enforcement agents. 

This set of men I just analyzed are called yahoo boys. Due to a number of reasons ,Girls are always flocking around these so called Yahoo boys. Want to know why? Here are 5 reasons why girls are always running after Yahoo boys.


1. Yahoo boys spend lavishly :

Money earned from defrauding others is more like free money, hence there is little or plan on how to spend it. They just sit in their room (hideout) for few days or weeks and then walk to the bank to withdraw money they didn't really work for.

Well, most Nigerian girls don't care how the money is gotten, as long as the money is present and they get anything they request for. So when it's pay day for yahoo guys, girls are next. 

These innocent girls don't even care maybe it's money earned from defrauding others. They just want money!

2. They party hard with ladies :

Most ladies love clubbing, although not all know how to dance but they simply love to enjoy the fun and all cruise on snap.

After a yahoo boy gets his pay from his client, its party time. Since ladies are aware of this, they don't miss the chance to go out and have all the fun at least they are sitting in the midst guys where Champagne and Hennessy are ordered. 

A fraudster will spend some chunk of his money to celebrate like he just won the presidential election.

3. Most yahoo boys are very Romantic :

Every lady loves a man who is a sweet talker and romantic as well, yahoo guys have sugar-coated tongue, little wonder they know how to talk their way to defrauding individuals


If he can sweet talk a 70 year old woman to sending him money with fake promises of marriage, how much more a young pretty lady.

Most of them are players but not all.

Ladies love sweet words, hence they love yahoo guys. Apart from the Triller and Lomotif in great background when he isn't glued to his computer, he is with his girl.



4. Show Off

: Ladies love to have a guy they can proudly introduce to their friends, a guy with the car and all the swag. They love to be tagged as the girl dating the big boy. With all the cars, gadgets a yahoo guy possesses, ladies want to hangout with them.

Moving with friends in their fleet of cars, you find a lady next to him in the front seat saying 'hi' and 'hello' to any of her friends who crosses her path.




5. Believing There Is Room For Change :

Ladies think they can convince a bad guy to change when they go into a relationship. 

When ladies go into a relationship with a yahoo with the hope of changing him, they should also know they are trying to restrict their source of income in the process.

Most times it's always difficult for a lady to change a yahoo guy so they become stuck in the relationship and when nemesis comes they both suffer for his misdeeds.

Glory596:
Most senseless post I’ve read today

only for you but not for others

andy244:
And Finally became what?

the serious one

tellwisdom:
Which kind rubbish topic be this? . Foolish boi

oga where do you fall in

Djshyne007:
So you became one of the serious ones...

. exactly

aidameoryou:
if you are dressing nice, does that make you a slayking/queen?
i do not really understand why you tag it pointless, were you dressing more than you normally do?
[color=#000000]DECENCY HAS NO ALTERNATIVE[/color]

I was just dressing to show off

LMS1:
Op Answer This Ones First:
Why Did Mark Zuckerbeg Named It Facebook When Its Actually Not A Book Nor A Face?
Why Do We Call It Nairaland When Its Actually Not A Plot Of Land Or A Naira Note?
Why Did They Call It 'Change' When They Ment To Say 'Crippling The Economy' ?
Op Go Back And Study Your History Book.

how do u expect me to answer this

BonaMagnate:
I expected this from a female.

how do you expect me to answer this

BonaMagnate:
I expected this from a female.

how do you expect me to answer this

When it comes to relationships or picking a partner for marriage, most Nigerians have a long list of preferences and what they want their spouses to possess in order to make a perfect partner.

Men have want their women to be respectful, beautiful, caring, bold and hard-working before they can consider them as "wife materials". This ideology often make some men to be too selective and usually end up being single even in their forties.

What about the women? Nigerian girls are very complicated people and their idea of an "ideal" husband might depend on age.

A teenage girl or one in her early twenties would want a fun guy, the party type that would take her places to have fun on weekends. Any guy that behaves like a husband to a girl of these age bracket will surely be disappointed as her lifestyle and mentality might be too over-whelming for him. These kinds of ladies prefer play boys and fun lovers at the moment.

Since we're talking about ladies who are choosing the kind of men they want to spend the rest of their lives with, let's get down to the point.

What do ladies mean when they say they want a "God-fearing" man?

First let's describe who a God-fearing man is. A person who is God-fearing is an overly religious person who sees nothing more important than his relationship with God. These people are try to live as holy as they can and often times, treats all people with love and respect equally. These kind of people don't lay much emphasis on romance or being a "great husband" and treat their spouses equally with the way they treat other people outside.

Now, with the above description is there any Nigerian woman that would want that kind of man? Many would cringe at the mere idea of marrying a pastor so as not to appear wearing gowns that they wouldn't normally wear.

No Nigerian woman would want to share her husband's love and affection with anyone and clearly, intimacy is a vital ingredient in marriage that must be shown as often as possible so as to keep the bond strong.

Some Nigerian women would likely cheat or even loath on her "God-fearing" husband because well, that isn't what she had hoped for.

So in summary, what people actually mean when they tell you that they want a "God-fearing man" is actually "I want a Good man''.

"I don't want someone who's too religious".

So the question is, why do we say one thing and mean another?.

falcon01:
you forgot one
The Neutral (hypocrites)
We are Not popular but we are well Known, we are Not serious bit we ain't Dumb either, we dont beg but we got guys who got our backs when broke, we dont club well sometimes we do, we don't slay but we dress Good, we only attend class for attendance, we don't Womanize but we do get girls, we don't Read till when its exams and one way or the other, we finished with an upper

so they exist

just2endowed:
who will now marry them when we ignore all these categories of women

thank God we still have responsible girls out there. well maybe u will Marry the ones I listed here

[quote author=Lekison post=100308654][/quote]leave men out of this

900warriorz:
So after everything wey you talk now, na 1 like you get?

lol

AdaAwka1:
Also men who can't speak good English are not husband material.

what's that suppose to mean

22brains:
I bet my dog��� there's no such girl except the above in Nigeria.

issorite

Bluntguy:
And you op which one were you?

at first I was part of the slay king but I later found out it was pointless

If You've Ever Been To The University, You Must Have Encountered These People

Immediately we graduate from secondary School, we are expected to buy the next JAMB form available to register for UTME in order to study in the university.

if you're lucky or brilliant enough to pass the exams, then you're one step into fulfilling your dreams of studying in the university of your choice after meeting their often tedious requirements.

For those who are currently in the higher institution or have gone through one, you'd agree with me that there are thousands of students who came from different backgrounds and who came for different purposes actually (Though we can all claim to come to learn).

As a fresher or a student in any level, here are some of the people you will surely see at the university that will you'd want to be around with or might try to avoid.

1. The slay Kings and queens.

These people will make you feel like your parents are not doing enough with they way they show up in shiny clothes to every where. The guys would dress as if they're going to an occasion just to see them sweating at the lecture hall.

As for the girls, they would come with big bags and big glasses just to tell you that they are in another level from the average student. Most of them are usually broke and would later come to beg for money while they spend heavily on designers to impress people.

2. The clubbers.

These set of people seems to come to school just to be away from their parents as they are usually show their true self on campus. Every weekend is a bubble time as they always love having fun. There's no party or club in town that they don't know off.

3. The holy holy ones.

These are the religious brothers and sisters you'd see on campus and they're very easy to recognize. The girls would always dress as modest as possible, wearing very long skirts while the guys are always seen with big Bibles. Some of them would look at you and they could literally tell if you'd go to heaven or hell. Lol.

4. The entrepreneurs.

These are the business people who came to school for business purposes. They hope to become the next Dangote or Alakija in the business world as they would always monetise whatever help they render to you. They sell things like recharge cards, snacks and other things to their fellow students.

5. The Godfathers and Godmothers

These are the people you meet first when you first entered campus. They are the ones that show you around school and tell you how things are done in school. They are usually older students who are usually 2-3 years older in school.

6. The "parasites".

These so called "friends" are always around you for what they can get from you, hence the term "parasites". They would make you share your food, clothes, perfume, cream and everything with them and sometimes you'd wonder how they survive till they graduate. When you watch them closely, they never disturb their parents for food money when you can hardly survive without calling your parents for money. Often times, you try as much as possible to avoid these kind of people.

7. The serious ones.

These are the nerds. They are only in the university for one purpose: to learn and get good grades. They are often called the serious students due to the fact that they are always seen at the library and wouldn't engage themselves in anything that isn't "educational". People like flocking around these people only during assignments or when the exam is close due to what they gain from their intelligence.

So which group did you belong to in your University days? Use your comment section