₦airaland Forum

2. Many African ladies now dislike cooking and home chores just because they had been totally brainwashed by movies showcasing men playing the role of women in a family, and due to excessive exposure to modern media that promotes gender-equality in a destructive way that’s aimed at destroying the unique African family setting that made our previous African marriages everlasting and envious to the westerns. Now, with this attitude, how do you expect a African man to desire to marry when he knows he is only buying more headache and trouble than helper for himself?

I went back to read the initial post and when I saw no 2, I didn't even bother to read any further because people who agree completely to this just have their minds made up and would never change, so my advice is, you would still find such ladies but it has to be those in the village or those who would completely give up their live for you and here are what I find unacceptable with this post.

1) Many African ladies now dislike cooking and home chores just because they had been totally brainwashed by movies showcasing men playing the role of women in a family: List what are the roles of men and roles of women in a family, this way I would better understand what you meant

2)promotes gender-equality: What does this word mean to you?

3) he is only buying: Tell me what slavery is, how does this differ from slavery ( Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work.) You are buying a whole human being right? in the name of marriage.

WOMEN I ADVICE YOU TO RUN FROM THIS KIND OF PERSON THAT STILL BELIEVES IN BUYING WOMEN and pretend under the name of marriage.

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

SO TAY PEOPLE NOR DEY PRAY FOR THEMSELF AGAIN BUT PROBLEM FROM MEN SHIOR, I DEY LAUGH OHHHH

tjskii:

Everything this poster has said is right from his perspective and some others but not from everyone, it would be applicable for some and not for some.

I beg you poster with God, make una Love una love watin una get, forget no better human being from anywhere ohhhh, nor deceive yourself, why did our parents and grand parents fight? didn't you still see that their were broken homes in the past? abi polygamy was what oooo?

Bride price people; Who go stop am? in your village how many women make traditional laws? you said it's a mans world, nah una make the law, make only una go stop am because women self tire.

anitank: And for those talking about sharing chores....

A full blown African lady shld not expect her man to do chores with her, wether its his house or not. He can decide to help her (most reasonable ones definitely would), but its certainly not an obligation for them

Nah people like una kill my friend so, African woman my feet, Woman body nah fire wood? even fire wood burns to ash. MEN get it right there is no woman who can do all the house chores, eh nor dey ooooo. and wait, why are you people dragging women backward and want to move forward? Women I nor say make una nor do house chores ooo, I am only saying try as much as you body can take you, nor go cook until you die, know when to rest and when to stop and when to seek for help.

People move forward and face front, if you want to stick to the old believe, move backward and face back.

This is not only a problem in Nigeria, It is a problem everyone, At Individual level people have to understand that different people have different behavior to things, depending on what you accept and what you let go, they are successful men who participate in house chores and also those who don't and they are successful women who don't and who do. Understanding and commitment makes the difference. They are women who have all the right qualities and are still not married just as they are men. If you like cook all the best food in this world or wash all the clothes in the house, if you are not having someone that appreciate the little or much you can do it becomes a waste of time.

Just what I think though.

No 1) Someone said this post was stolen, Poster please address that

No 2) Life don change, maybe it would have been better not to have had TV, MTV, LAPTOPS, INTERNET, CARS, EDUCATION, E.T.C we cannot borrow a little culture from the white, that's where change, development comes in, This is choice we are talking about here; You will still find Nigerian girls and women willing to bow at your feet but why not leave the ones who say they don't think it's right, who complain to you?

You are right from your view and maybe wrong from another persons view, there is no one exact answer to a solution.

Anyway the guy has a right to His sexuality

what's the majority in Nigeria?

That's for that thread, If we export that matter come this thread nah yawa fit gas. Okay anyway I think we just got to look beyond the name and the act.

Seriously if you want to get married do it early, na waaa ooo 30 ? To start pooping babies at 40?

I am old

CAMEROONPRIDE

Which thread be that, I don single pass nah abi you wan rewind me?

Zenith Bank: I like this bank because they've got class and offer quality services including customer support.

CAMEROONPRIDE

Women you are on your own ooo I washed my hands on you.

Hahahahahahaahahahahahaha Guy you sound like someone wain them just broke he heart ooo, heart break nah normal thing for love matter so nor let am give you stress. Anyway wahala self too much for this life whether Man or Woman or Marriage or No Marriage. I believe that bias is a part of human nature, and that humans naturally have biased opinions on just about everything. We just have to work out the extent to which this is reflected in our actions, thoughts and attitude.

I am a Woman and I am Proud

NIOBMUUL

I'm careful not to put blame on the family (parents) because 'pikin whey go spoil go spoil!!!'

Some children when nor suppose spoil go spoil based on watin them see their parents do. This is proven in our everyday life and laws, I agree with Bandura who says that people learn by observing, this simple implies that if I see my papa do am I go do am or if my mama do am I go do am because it appears as a norm to me.

And there is nowhere in your thinking that said:

5) You grew up in an area where majority of women are badly behaved and have no manners?

Your opinions would hardly be respected if you cannot be objective, logical and unbias in you statements.

Gender is not a true predictor of Behaviour. Both male and female behave in bad and good ways depending on your views of what is bad and good.

@bolded, don't worry nbright try not get angry by insults or " referring to society" talks... My mama train me well.. So me na ice water... All the same, try ur possible best to leave my parent's out of it.

Okay thanks for being very reasonable ( one cup of ice cream for you ), My apologies if you took it that I referred to your parents, I never did. I was just trying to say I do not think it's a world of one against the other. A man and a woman compliment themselves, one is not complete without the other in the context of reproducing and some other phenomenon in life, however in our today's society different thing happens and all this are factors of change. When people speak down on women it only means four thing to me;
1) Your father never appreciated your mother as a companion

2) You do not appreciate your sister, wife, cousin, niece , aunt as a part of your life

3) You have grown in a society where women are been dehumanize

4) You do not appreciate God effort in creating a woman

In regard to the post; Marriage is not a yardstick to the best of life and you don't have to put an age tag, this only gets more women confused and reduce their self esteemed mostly those whom have not been able to take a stand on what choices they should make, like I earlier post this is more of a personal issue.

Eyahhhh.... Yet they all join beyonce to say they run the world... It's a man's world.. That's the simple truth..

No disrespect but When you see your papa beat your mama or you see your papa marry 5 wives and your mama just dey there all in the name of marriage or even your society dehumanizes a woman then you cannot be blamed if you then say it's a mans world. However there are world where things are operated equally. I nor insult your papa or mama oh I am referring to society no make you nor respond to my post with an insult. Just trying to say what we see and experience shape our minds to a very large extend.

When did being single at 30 become sin? or become a thing of immoral? Naija we don start again with our one sided mindset. There is sure possibility that some may not even want to get married or are trying to face other more important life issues, however this is seen I really think this is more an individual issue.

They have just not decided to get married, It's a choice

If America can divide USSR because of fear that they may become th world power,then they can equally try to distabilize Nigeria.

Please can you elaborate on this? Is Nigeria really a threat to USA?

None is better than the other, Virgin or no Virgin the Individual is all that matters. The issues of life now has passes the stage where we look for Virgins before we get married.

Believers of what?

The original post is all over the place and while it may have been written with good intentions it seem incoherent to me. So after rereading your post several times i eventually understood what your Issue was and here is my two cents, it is not said to ridicule or judge but to offer a different view. Firstly it would seem you are upset because your dead friend is not celebrated like this person Goldie and this irks you because you feel he was more honorable than Goldie. Secondly you are upset that society celebrates or embraces sinful behaviors with reference to Dolly Parton and Dr Dre. Then you are mad that B.Obama inferring that he is a gangster that killed MLK's dream because he is killing innocent people with drones. Lastly you believe the lesson from all of this is that we should live a life that is worthy in the eyes of our creator because death can come at any time. I summarized your post to make sure I understand the gist of it before I comment.
Now for my comment. With regards to the first point if you have a relationship with GOD as you implore us to do then things like this should not bother you. GOD is in control and does not make mistakes. The bible says GOD is not to be deceived, whatever a man does he will reap. He also said only GOD knows the heart of a man. So the person whom you think is honorable may not be honorable before GOD. You are not GOD as you are human like everyone of us you cannot see the inner workings of each man. It's like saying the terrorists that attacked America are honorable or that the American soldiers killing innocent soldiers in Iraq or Afghanistan are honorable. Such debates about being honorable should not include GOD at all and are mere opinions. Your second opinion regarding the sinful nature of the world, I gather from your name and you post that you are not a Christian so this may go over your head. Everything happening is a fulfillment of the prophecy regarding the return of our lord and savior JESUS Christ and while i am not saying we should join the world in celebrating such things we do our selves a huge disservice if we are more concerned about such things rather than working out our salvation with fear and trembling. You third comment about B.Obama does not need any explanation as your bias is based on religious beliefs so I understand. Lastly regarding judging we differ again based on religious beliefs because my bible tell me that I should not judge anyone it does not list what I can judge or can't judge. I am not a creator and all judgement is reserved for GOD to judge anyone is to try to be like GOD which is a sin. In summary I think while you have good intentions and decent comments your post is biased based on your religious beliefs.

I want to attend same uni as you; You finish work. GBAM, Intelligent post

Please for those who have an idea on whom we should be celebrating make me a list of 10 people and let me follow them on twitter and facebook and spread their names everywhere.

No one said she does not have a good part or she is a bad person.

The key message is to watch what parts/personalities/behaviours we celebrate and iconise and hence indirectly adding to the shaping of our society.

That is not irrational, that is sense.

My friend Sagamite, I honestly think Goldie does not deserve that level of condemnation (from my point of view) simple because she had her life in the light, some of this things they do are just to entertain and majority of us love it at least I know I like Beyonce just like Dbanj sang but she is seen to a lot of people as one illuminate sort of which doesn't bother me, let her sing and let her song make some sense to my hearing. Oya he don do make we let Goldie rest I beg una. So what's next

About ten years ago I lost a friend in an armed robbery incident. Obviously the armed robbers were not satisfied with robbing they needed to make a point by harming someone in the house and my friend’s mother was their target. As they swung the axe my friend who was the scholar of our class in secondary school protected his mother with his head….he died; no national award, no postmortem speech from the Governor and of course no celebrity burial; he was just another guy, the fact that he took a battle axe to his head for his mother was irrelevant

This and many more of it happens in a country wherein people get millions both in local and foreign currency for playing football; a country wherein comedians shake hands with the President and women who kiss strange men on camera in the name of acting take home National Award and an immoral youth who made fame singing about his private part is given special opportunity to interview the President in a desperate campaign strategy because the thinking is that the community is populated by zombies and bimbos who will vote in a PHD holder on the “honour” of a nuisance whose only relevance to society, apart from lewd music, is competition in air and space. Thus the question every sane Nigerian should be asking is when will this madness of underserved honour stop?

The death of the musician from Ekiti, Goldie Harvey, and the attempt to make it seem like we lost an icon is another and perhaps the worst of all these madness. I do not believe that death, which we will all face, should make you a hero except you died an honourable death. When people just drop dead we grieve and console the family not tell blatant lies as to who they were. This is why the statement of the Ekiti State Governor is worrisome. Mr. Kayode Fayemi is reported to have described Goldie as a “great daughter of Ekiti State” and one has to wonder upon what was this greatness achieved? Are people now great for singing meaningless songs with promiscuous suggestions or for taking and publishing suggestive photos of themselves?

Since when did we consider it greatness to appeal to the intimate cravings of perverts and run after men on camera in the name of a reality show that is far from reality? Since when did it become great achievement that a lady is even thought of as being a junkie in her life time? How can this be great?

In the past fathers will tell their children “don’t bring shame to this family” but nowadays shame and shamelessness is celebrated with such noise that you think the Devil himself is in charge of people’s life and even he has gone crazy.

Ironically, around the same period this unfortunate death occurred Governor Theodora Orji of Abia State was commending Mrs. Nwanyieze Prosper for winning the Purity Queen title for a lady who kept her virginity until her marriage; surprisingly some Nigerians criticized the Governor and even ‘accused’ him of giving her a car whereas Governor Kayode Fayemi was praised for describing Goldie as a “bright star” among other accolades including that she lived a “fulfilled life”. Indeed the world is upside down.

The problem with giving honour to people who did dishonourable acts is that people will definitely emulate them. The Dolly Parton’s of this world made it a fashion for women to expose their cleavage; years on women have lost their husbands to such exposure and homes have collapsed; the Dr. Dre’s of this world made being “gangster” a fashionable thing and years later the gangsters are increasing and we even have a gangster in the White House killing innocent people with Drones….Martin Luther’s dreams became a Nightmare. And this list goes on and on; for every irresponsible person you honour you make irresponsibility the “swag”, the same way for every man who dies for his mother you honour you make standing up against oppression and protecting the weak the in-thing….make your choice.

Lastly, we must clarify two issues. The first one is with regards to speaking “evil” about the dead while the second one is the “who are you to Judge” comedy.

Firstly, the dead has already met what he or she put forward hence there is no need to speak of its evil. What there is need to do however is to either call the living to an example to live by if the dead is worthy of emulation or to warn the living to stay away from a wasteful lifestyle like that of the dead who lived life as if death was never going to come and this is the real lesson here; life is short, if you live it like Goldie your death may come and meet you in that state; what will you tell your Creator? We cannot pretend this is not the lesson here; it will be one lie too many

Secondly, they ask us not to Judge and we say to them since we are in the spirit of not judging kindly don’t judge the location of your mouth so that you put your food in your nose. We say to them that in this spirit of not judging please cross the road without judging that a vehicle is close enough to knock you down; maybe when you are in the air you will realise your stupidity.

We do not Judge a person who has Faith that he or she will be in the hellfire, we do not Judge that the person’s bad is more than his/her good, we do not Judge if God will forgive a believer…..but we Judge that fornication and the promotion of it is EVIL, and that the one who represented evil dead does not make evil good.

Some others will say an adult can do what he or she likes and you don’t have to force your life on others. The question we have for this set of confused mentally colonized perverts is that this same justification is given to homosexuality and it will soon be given to Inbreeding so that if a grown up man and his grown up daughter say they fell in love and want to marry your kind will say well it’s their life, it does not affect me….can you see now that you are sick?

Conclusively, the lessons from this unfortunate incident can be summarized as thus;

1) Death can come at any time; be prepared to meet your Lord.

2) Fame and fortunes are but illusions, what matters is your relationship with your Creator.

3) The enjoyment of this world is fleeting; don’t let it deceive you.

4) Live a good life; one that does not involve promoting lewdness or any type of evil; death and Judgment is real and it is no respecter of status.

5) It was the honour given her musical mentors that led the lady to not just music but a meaningless form upon which her life ended so let’s ensure that we do not turn scum into icons because people will sure emulate them.
May God Almighty give the family fortitude to bear the lost and guide them aright.

Eseoghene Al-Faruq Ohwojeheri
Benin City

Read through this again and you can deduce just two things
1) Irrationalism
2) Writes good English as far it has to do with dehumanizing another

My Advice: Upgrade and focus on the good part in peoples life.

Who defines what is moral and immoral in the life of another? We Nigerians to dey fake morality and this is not even taking us anywhere, is morality in the man who stand on a pulpit and collect billions to purchase private jet that is moral? or the political bishops that are moral? Obama is 666 we all scream then Jonathan should be 10 10 10 or 12 12 12 because the level of callousness they show to the people is unimaginable. Goldie is gone, let her rest in peace and lets address real issued of our country.

Education is one thing and its application is another and by the way education is not all about sitting in class so in the real sense Education is what makes the difference. Promote Education because it still stands out irrespective of what anyone thinks, this people you mention they all have one or two Educated people in their lives who help them in making decision and promoting their success.

Life is a thing of choice, outside the fact that she is married she has the right to choose. Men wahala self to much lol

Thinking aloud, can anyone find me an answer?

Nigeria losses 144 women everyday due to Maternal Mortality

25% of this number is due to Illegal Abortion

so what more do we want before we consider the option of letting women have a life of their own? consider this case scenarios

Unwanted Pregnancy by a Couple

Unwanted Teenage Pregnancy

Pregnant as a result of Rape

Pregnant as a result of incest

Hello House, Please I need help with the required documents for F-1 Visa renewal.

Thanks.

Complex, the matter begins from Nobody knows the future. think about these

1) Our custom and traditions are stronger than the law in the eyes of the people.

2) A woman who is mourning may not have time to begin such a fight, what if she has no money? you need money to fight a good fight

3) What if the man makes a will on the woman's name and she dies before him ( The woman's family then has control)

4) What if the man decides in the future that he wants a male child ( this definitely would cross His mind at some point)

5) In a situation where by the woman leaves the marriage after they have made joint investment with a far lesser contribution from the woman

6) Is it possible to have real understanding where both spouse can have their own investment ? two people cannot work as one while the have separate focus or is it possible?