₦airaland Forum

Bright weds Teeo

Tissue backsiders/Bright's guests proceed to booth one.

Water backsiders/Teeo's guests proceed to the extreme extreme right corner of the compound where we have provided you all with necessary amenities like:

1. A pit latrine.
2. 7 big drums of water.
3. Anti-bacterial hand wash.

Rules of engagement include:

All the groom's guests are required only to hug the bride, with the palms kept far far away from contact with her. If you are in this category and you attempt touching the bride, please don't take her reaction personal.

skillet: alecia

breathings handshake is overrated...

you think i have a temper? well lets find out. shall we?

Hahahah, Skillet, Skillet, Skillet, I have been inviting you time and again to come and shake these hands but you have refused to move your butt from the Niger-delta, I don't know whether you are a militant! Why I am saying all these is that, in a couple of years, you would need a series of application letters and security checks to be able to shake these hands, and even after all that suffering, you might only end up shaking my personal assistant. If you like don't come and shake it now, stay there with your nose in the air and keep repeating blasphemies like breathing's handshake is overrated oga eme gi fiam n'anya!


As for my not calling you. There is also a popular old saying that goes '...the telephone works in both ways ' and another older saying that says 'when a man marries a new wife, he ignores the old one'. I'm not saying I have married a new wife o, since I'm not even a man, or maybe since you are the man, have you married a new wife? Cuz I was the last person who called?

Thanks for that Alecia, I really love the idea of an anti-bacterial hand wash. I think I'd be shaking your hand when we see, plus it's good to know the water doesn't touch anywhere. Dettol has an anti-bacterial handwash, I implore every water based diarylander to go grab his/her copy now.

[s]ok, fyngal, since he's still hale and hearty, call him and tell him the 'I came to Lagos and you crossed my mind...tale' and no matter how the conversation goes, please refuse to acknowledge that you noticed that he hasn't called, and if he asks for a date, there's your chance to dump him yourself[/s]

Fyngal, see how much you like man. Why are you rushing back tomorrow. Isn't your school on vacation, are you rushing back to corporate-maid-ship (not possible+your guests have left o), it's only your boyfriend that can be drawing you back to benin so soon

Btw, if you get the job now, what's gonna happen when it's time for you to go for service?

And about your facebook love, I'd suggest you don't call him o, to avoid being re-dumped . But if you still think you want to take the risk, call and say you are in Lagos for an interview, and he just crossed your mind, try not to sound like you even noticed that he has stopped calling!

Maybe you would get to find out that he's dead or he lost his phone, or he smoked too much weed and ran mad, or something else that would finally put your mind at rest.

Can't figure out whether that's close or far from me, but how long are you staying cuz I'd like to see you.

Wow, Fyngal is in lag! What part of Lag would that be please?

I was tempted to ask Alecia the behind-based question o, but I didn't want Teeo to say I'm bringing up the issue again. Infact these days, the first thing I would want to know about any diarylander, is their behind-based status, seeing as we might be having a get-together soon. So that I'd know which outstretched arm to shake and who to hug. But I'm absolutely not open to group hugs. Nah, not at all!

Anyway, I'd really appreciate it if you water based people would give me a detailed account of how you do it in the toilet, cuz it's killing my imaginations just thinking about it.

Alecia please answer me nah, in compensation for breaking my heart yesterday:
1. Do you totally pull off all your lower clothing b4 entering the toilet?

2. Do you stand over the toilet, or get into the bath-tub or what, when you want to wash!

3. If you stand over the toilet, do you mop and clean with each toilet visit, or does the water not touch the floor?

4. Do you always mix a little dettol in your water and wash your hands very very very thoroughly after the whole affair?

I know it sounds like I'm dissing now, but I'm not, I'm only killing two birds with one stone. (So that when my roommate to be enters the toilet, I can imagine exactly what's going on there and know what exactly to avoid touching or seating on in future)

Screwface: She did talk/scolded/adviced/admonished/prayed for me close to two hours. Two freeking hours! And she ended it by saying..'A word is enough for the wise'.
Classic. Just classic.
Two hours and it's stil a WORD?? Mum??!
I love you dearly ma!

Quite a funny human being! Why haven't you invited him Alosiby?

Alecia, I'm still angry with you for raising my hopes, then letting it crash without a parachute

Anyway, I'd still hug you, just that I don't do group hugs. Has anyone here ever done of group hug for real? Too girly/mushy/nollywoody ending ish ± the fear of ...

What post is Alosiby talking about . What you don't know can't hurt you jor!

Sapphiredamsel: I'm actually on the 9th book. Mydad has sent 20k out of d money. Yay! I am excited. Time to change my WARDROPE,lol

See this sly babe, I knew all that money couldn't have been for books, when did books get that expensive when you aint studying medicine

ℓ☺ℓ @Tgirl.

Teeo: That sounds like subtle blackmail to me, asking Lady Tee to chose, I actually hope she'd say you should go :p. please before you travel with night bus, please look for one of those juju-priests that can communicate with the dead, and make sure he can type, so that incase anything happens to you, I'd still be able to read your diary! Hahah, I think it's gonna change from ajuwaya parol, to 'reporting live from the land of the dead'. I admit it would be quite a nice read. Ok, enough jokes, my point is, thou shall not travel by night biko.

Desperate chics like Breathing?

You are lying sha, I have Tgirl already so I have Seun already, it's just a matter of when I want to meet him. For now, I'm waiting till I grow more beautifuller so that Seun would fall in love with me at first sight. Do you know any Babas that can help me, EWO.

Tgirl: two of us would eat the food together nah. Lolzzz.

Hehehe EWO, you bera start confessing, you have already set alosiby in her bad mood, you don't want her touching you with that cutlass.

Right Teeo, it's all a matter of time!

EWO: yeah, I'd get a second option soon sha.

Teeo, I think you are right

Teeo, who has time for you and your collar, smh!

EWO: you are sounding like my brother now o, what concerns you with my heart kwanu? You like me o!