MRbrownJAY: would you like me to show you women who did the exact same thing?! times have changed and women are hunters now. believing that only men do these atrocities will have you fail. havent you read about wife whose sister had a baby with her husband? mothers who started cheating with their daughter's boyfriends? girls who slept with their bestfriend man?
some women today have no morals and would cheat just like men. here is something for you:
zenatta: @ POSTER Me, I am cool and having a lotta fun. I have seen people destroyed nay the word is deformed because of the compulsion to marry. In desperation they make huge mistakes. Mistakes that last a life time but phew! are they glad they got rid of the bugger.
Marriage will happen if you want it to. You have got to put in a lot of effort especially if you are female. I hate that I just said that but its true. Sometimes you have to quit being yourself if you want it bad. As for me I don't, though the loneliness does hit hard sometimes. I do believe that if I would I will. So no sweat. Besides there is cable, the Internet, the occasional phone call in my cell, food, money and the Bible. Being a single parent is a huge bonus.
I do totally agree with these points. Men want the works, faithfulness et al. They want to be the focus and in charge and lets face it there is nothing like equality between the sexes. Modern women dream on! As for Mr. Right , y'all better settle for the bird in hand and make him right.
mutter: many women that don´t get married on time are still looking for mr.right. Only Mr. right in most case changes his name to mr.manage. I think it is a terrible mistake most women make to wait for an already made man or to have very unrealistic standards. Also many of these women get carried away with career and are not able to reconcile that with marriage. I see many women even in this forum with ideas of equality but unfortunately it does not work out that way in real life. Getting married is no easy task and because marriage is taken so seriously in Nigeria most men are not willing to rush into a marriage that they think they might regret. While women are striving towards equality most men are still searching for the good old fashioned qualities in a wife, like respect, submission, faithfulness etc. And yes a married woman has more respect. I personally have the greatest respect, not for married women or single parents but for single parents. Raising a child alone and doing it well, is real hard job.
well said, points raised are so to the point, Its also intresting to note women are settling for the " hell do for nowman" or "hell do" man
[quote author=na2day? link=topic=500772.msg6621468#msg6621468 date=1282530288]it is not just men that cheat, women cheat too. i just caught one married woman who is cheating on her hubby just this last friday. she sent the wrong text msg to my phone meant for someone else ; the whole experience sent cold chillers down my spine. when i have the time i will make a thread for that incident[/quote]true, but its the majority of men that have the ultimate urge to cheat
not everybody stands for the vows they made AND the women they got married to knew it but decided to get married anyway. some women are so desperate for marriage that they will accept anything from their man. . . . . . . if a sneaky man knows that then he will abuse it. if all wifeys out there dropped their cheating husbands then a few less men would go on the act.
also we do know that these women that are chased by the married men know FULLY WELL that they are married and still get down with these cheaters so if these skanks wouldnt allow married men then there would be less cheating.
btw last time i checked married women are cheating too.
last but not least, understanding why men/women cheat is stoopid, there are so many different reasons that it could never be avoided. IF YOUR SPOUSE HAS GOT FIRE IN THEIR PANTS THEN NOTHING CAN BE DONE ABOUT IT.
good points , BUT its not stupid to understand why men cheat, they are a totally different species from women, and they just cant help themselves, I know i guy who slept with a woman a day before his wedding and another during his honey moon asked why, "he couldnt help himself
mutter: seperate lives does not mean being separated physically. They may live in the same house. Since you are at crossroads here the hard facts. Nigeria allows polygamy -fact. Bad enough a woman sets her eyes on a married man. The other woman is childless and this will be some painful news to her. Terrible i find that the new woman should expect to drive the old wife with a pregnancy. Please this man has a wife, you or whoever are nr.2. Take your position as such and do not cause the wife unnecessary pain or resort to insults.
hummm but difficult position, im kind of bias here as i happen to know all three parties, and to set the record straight both parties were very good friends and in all fairness he pursued her, to give the lady in question her due after eight years as friends, ? As
As for the wife, put it this way she is not the most pleasent of people
CHANCEMAN: I thought i read somewhere that they had been seperated over the last two years? If so was the seperation not supposed to re assess the relationship?The results speak for itself provided the seperation was as a result of the childlessness.
hi chanceman
from what i have gathered they have lived seperate lives for two years, im not sure if the seperation was part of the childlessness but i am aware there are other circumstances surrounding the breakdown. This was put to me last week and im at a bit of a crossroads on this issue
chiogo: It depends on how you define 'money grabber'. If a woman is successful(as in rich) and seeks to be with a guy who's also financially successful, I don't see that as being a money grabber. It's simply living up to one's standards. It's not gold-digging if you also have your gold.
hi chiogo
i really dont think it matters as to how much money each individual has, one or the other would try and save their money and get the other to do or spend more, that's when you find the woman wanting to play the weaker role, " i need to be looked after" "why should i pay the bill syndrome"
The man thinking oh "well she can afford it" i wont try as much, etc etc you will search far and wide to find any different,
manoy: Yeah,Money is not everything but BRITGIRLEE can u date a someone who is not rich? Status and wealth should not be the real reasons why one would wanna go into marriage. Other things should be put into consideration.
guess you didnt read one of my replies
britgirlee: Hummm intresting
@ YME fortunately im in a position that I'm able t support my self, and yes i have dated financially stable men, HOWEVER I'm glad I'm in a position to see how selfish, selfcentered and also self absorbed SOME of these men are, who have had their egos blessed with money hungry women and now they think they are invincible. That is till they meet a woman who can handle her own home, then its fumble all the way, lol
omega25red: it's very simple men are not made to be tied down those of us who stay faithful battle with ourselves each day to maintain that faithfulness. for every pretty girl a man hooks up with their is always another pretty girl around the corner and for what ever reason we have to have her regardless of us having a wife at home or a GF. it isnt until after that insatiable urge has been satisfied that we come back to our senses and then try to get forgiveness.
it doesnt make it right , and still dosnt answer the question
@ YME fortunately im in a position that I'm able t support my self, and yes i have dated financially stable men, HOWEVER I'm glad I'm in a position to see how selfish, selfcentered and also self absorbed SOME of these men are, who have had their egos blessed with money hungry women and now they think they are invincible. That is till they meet a woman who can handle her own home, then its fumble all the way, lol
@190 your stepping on dangerous ground, oops
@ femmy unfortunately it is , even though you may not have it the urge to keep up with the Jones is a reality is funny still , if you can agree mum and dad still say, " what is his job?? lawyer? Doctor? accountant? what is his family name, ahhh good his father owns half NIGERIA, lol
Is this the new trend or evolution romance gone mad
Why is it both men and women look for the status and financial status of a potential partner,
the new trend , you don't have financial influence you don't get me??
Its about the car, the clothes, the wealth and what goodies you can get me,
Ok, its more evident in women then men no matter what background they come from, rich , middle class,
Its a dying shame when another woman/man walks up the aisle with a partner YOU know in real life they wouldn't be seen dead in a dark corner, but they are confessing undying LOVE
So there you have it, you've reached the big 40 and your not married. No particular reason just the right man has not come along. Ive noticed a lot of women are getting to their late 30's early 40's and are not married but still have faith in the system to meet marry and start a family
Do you bow to pressure and marry the first man that comes your way.
Haven't been on here for a while but would love your views on this subject
Story is Nigerian Dr has been married for 15 years last 2 resulting in separate life's with his wife. Both are very successful in their chosen careers however they are childless.
Over the years he has come into close contact with a work colleague and formed a friendship and finally after 8 years they decide to take it a step further, which results in a wanted pregnancy
[quote author=dudu-bobo link=topic=163501.msg2723068#msg2723068 date=1220002223]There are sure to be differences having been brought up in different backgraounds and societies.
One other difference may be that they'll probably spell DIFFERENCE properly is they are educated [/quote]very educated, thankyou for your input very enlighting to the topic header
lucabrasi: @savanah im not an expert at girls fashion and u wernt even directing the comment at me,but during the old days as in way back women went bare chested and nobody made a big deal out of it,neither was there any promiscuity n stuffs like now,so shown cleavages n that is nt as western as we ll like to see it
Chukwemeka: Aplogies in advance, but i do struggle to understand what you are trying to say when you type. Anyway, i think i undertstand what you are saying here. I too have been getting into the Nollywood films (big up Nollywood channel), and i too see what those actresses are wearing. however, i don't think thats a representation of the young/older african woman. Its a perception. Not a very good one, but a perception nonetheless.
I position myself along most of what savanaha has said.
i hear you, difficult at times to simplify things with out causing confusion
Chukwemeka: Well it seems like Birtgirlee you have brushed it off. Dont mind those idiots, they are obviously jealous of your confidence and the way you carry yorself. The main point is you know who you are.
a I am , thankyou for your comments , its like water off a ducks back for me , just seive out the cruf from the ruff