₦airaland Forum

ozonechrome:
Why don't we hear from her.

You've painted yourself like an angel.

Someone that has visted you once why would they deny her visa a second time?

You always threaten her with breakups and also body shame her. Seems like a toxic relationship to me.

Oga if you read my posts and comments again without loud music I guess you will have a bette understanding.

I even acknowledged my mistakes, the issue of visa is neither her fault nor mine

stonecoldcafe:
My brother, it is well. I don't know your personal circumstance or the country you reside in and what they allow or don'tallow. And that's why I stated in my last comment that you should draw up a realistic plan.

Now If your personal circumstances will not allow you go freely marry and return then of course you need to do what is right for you. Nobody will advice you to get deported or reach Nigeria and hook. Every one knows it's not easy there with covid and this last riot. All the best

Thanks bro

3-1

stonecoldcafe:
I think you took this girl for granted. Excuses too full your mouth as to why you have not made an honest of her. People are always advising you, dont marry now, have the kid et al. 2014 till 2020 is an incredibly long time to leave a lady hanging. Unless you don't have legal right to remain in your abroad, you should hv settled this lady since. Yes, there is a pandemic but inside this pandemic, people hv been getting married still, traveling home too. Your excuses are too much sir

Okay sir, but let me ask you have you stayed abroad before ?

You just took what interest you and decided to castigate me with it.

My brother if you dey go abroad you can’t tell how long you will stay, I have a document here but I can’t travel to Nigeria with it, I would have since gotten all my document but the pandemic put many things on hold, no issuance of documents here.

Make I come Naija come lock myself for Naija, do you think it’s every country that still allow travel to Nigeria?

You don marry? If not what’s stopping you and if yes congratulations.

Go read again why my dad said hold on let her family settle themselves.

You modified your comment and I appreciate your advice. My brother life get as e be, I don’t like the baby mama thing but sincerely speaking there are circumstances beyond my control, there are countries where money really can’t buy you everything. If I deport myself after marriage na to start afresh oo.

Thanks bro I appreciate

mariahAngel:
...so that he can be haunted with it for the rest of his nairaland days?

Nairaland is full of immature people who don't know where to draw the line. It is wiser to protect your identity.
He does not need to prove anything to anybody. We have the option to either take it or leave it.

Am not going to disclose it, I opened a new moniker one time for the purpose of giveaway somehow some people found my real moniker and they came for me.

Even after I announced that the giveaway was over they were still quoting me via my real moniker.

LivingTribunal:
Shut up and get out off here

Okay sir, don’t forget your type that likes to throw insults and bully hates to be insulted.

CamusMidas:
Are you not a youth, or which other youth are you waiting for to form the party?

Am not in Nigeria boss and if I was, I was going to lead the campaign

The youth should better form a political party as soon as possible.

These guys need to be taught that the youths are powerful

Klass99:
Of course you will think it wise because it doesn't castigate or condemn you but I meant everything I said in good faith and I try not to respond to life's issues with thoughtless emotionalism.

Your girl has a good share of the blame being heaped on you as well, because her body is hers, she could have decided to take in or not take in, to wait until you put a ring on it, before birthing your son. Why don't we ever learn from the examples before us or experiences of others?

I don’t mind if anyone castigates me but insults no no no. Anyways thanks for your advice

crackhaus:
Kai, wahala for who go land inside relationship with a needy woman.

Provide emotional security, provide financial security, provide sexual satisfaction, provide orgasm, be a comedian, make her happy all the time, support her inside kitchen, massage her body and feet... Jesu

The guy's ONLY concern should be his son, there's nothing to salvage between him and that woman. All that talk I've been reading on the thread about him trying to make amends with her na just fabu.

You can't keep a person who does not want to stay, it NEVER works... and even if it does, she would have gained more power to misbehave in the future knowing that he will always come crawling and begging her not to leave.

@OP, please find a way to retain connection with your son however way you can. He's your son, you follow born am and you don't need to beg her to have access to him...you simply DON'T.
Her only grace here is the distance between both of you and the fact that she knows all you care about is your son (which is not a bad thing at all), so she will use all this to torment you – it's what they usually do, but don't let it get to you.

If you have family in Nigeria, let them hold the fort for you and keep in touch with your child on your behalf.

Anything that makes you still go ahead to marry this particular lady after all this, then it will be clear that village people are really on your case.


Ohh wonderful, your brain is still in form...

Thanks boss happy to get advice from reasonable people like you. God bless you boss.

Klass99:
Uncle relax na. I wasn't judging you at all. But, I think my personal preference may have been projected in that post. I wasn't imposing it either, I was just saying.

When I said this whole baby mama business doesn't sit well with me, I meant personally I can't do it, I don't see myself becoming anyone's baby mama not even Aliko Dangote with all his money and humility. If he asked me, which we know is not going to happen anyway

It's not self righteousness, everything in me just rebels against it and to see someone say this is what girls are looking for and your baby mama wan use her hand spoil am, I swear I shock @ that comment and mentality.

Secondly, I was speaking in general terms about the subject matter of kids and not specifically to you or Carchoice. If we're going to have children let's strive to create a solid home foundation for them.

I know you had plans to marry your girl but her family drama prevented you from doing so, I'm also glad you listened to your father to not proceed with that plan until the drama was resolved (good fathers are immensely wise like that) On the other hand why were you knacking show without protection or precautions, if you weren't ready for a child like you said?

You put the cart before the horse and that's where I will fault you cos I'm old school like that. You have done right by your baby mama/son so far and I will 100% applaud you for that.

In fact when I saw your post I thought to myself this baby mama business is lucrative o! Imagine having someone pay my rent of 750k and give me a monthly allowance of 200k all because I have his child As good as that sounds the downside to it, is that, it makes foolish women lazy and in their foolishness others think becoming a baby mama is the way to go. They are not thinking of doing honest work for a living, why should they? When through their child their living expenses and bills can be paid.

I think you should still fight until the end of the year for what you want with her. If a new year rolls in and she still feels the same way, waka pass abeg.

Thanks sis, one of the wisest advice on this thread. God bless you and I wish you the best husband you wish for.

bukatyne:
How is a document in your name & son's name supposed to provide assurance to a woman you have not married?

How does such a document provide any assurance to a woman at all?

If that was not assuring enough, documents in her name wouldn’t have.

bukatyne:
Is your concern lack of access to your son and fear of repeating same cycle you had or your dying relationship?

@bold: the hunter has become the hunted. After years of threats, she has learnt and perfected the act. Maybe if this works out, you will learn a lesson on effective communication.

You are a very good monetary provider, well done sir. Apart from money, what else did you provide in the relationship? There are no emotional security with the constant threats of 'I am no longer interested'.

Reach out to your girl's father if his influence on his daughter is greater than that of the friend's.

And Oga, when all is well, ensure you provide emotional security so your woman doesn't have to run around confiding in friends that are faster to destroy than build.

Goodluck

Thanks for the advice

pcguru1:
My step brother too is in that situation , he has three kids but I admit he treated the wife terribly , really terribly. Right now she has re-married so that's that and on the flip side. I had a very good colleague who impregnated someone and left abroad, he married her , never came back to Nigeria, never sent cash and all. So its why your case is interesting, you guys might need to have to talk. God will see you through.

Her advisers are winning, not sure I want to spend my life with a woman that dug a hole around me with her friends. I didn’t notice till I fell into it.

Boss you need to hear how her friend snatched the phone from her and boldly told me “i advised her to leave you” That statement still resound in my ears.

pcguru1:
More stressful, because if she decides to remarry, rhats where the real headache starts at least if you're married. They will the law to help shape things. I feel for the OP I swear. Its a tough situation, OP probably losing sleepless nights

Am getting better bro

ABANGWABOI:
I perceive you as enemy ??
Oh... I now know why you babymama treats you like trash..
You lack basic common sense ..
Oya post evidence of your wealth and riches let's see..
Clowns like you lives Audio life and yet loud..
You don't know me one on one but can sense that I am living in poverty ?? You are a demented coyote, a dimwit and an imp.
You claim to be rich but the most treasured wealth in life which is Wisdom.. you don't have it ..
You are a Scum..
On a lighter note : Have you cried today, and pls don't bathe nor eat like you said you haven't done since yesterday.. continue with the tears Kid.

I’ll only mention my moniker and people will testify. I don’t have time for you, you are far from being my headache.

Take your poverty frustrated life a step further.

ABANGWABOI:
And you think I am from a poor family ??
Anyone that disagree with you is poor ??
You are not just Idiotic , you are also daft and Moronic ..
You can afford more than 100Naira bundle but you can't fix your miserable life ..
You would continue crying over a woman till eternity..
Dumb kid.

Talk about yourself not your family which I already know is below average.

Come with proof let's take it from there.

Why do you perceive every success person as your enemy?

Change your thinking so that God will change your destiny.

Poverty will not depart from your life if you don’t change how you view successful people.

cococandy:
You’re more hurt by this than the OP. What’s up?

I tire for this guy oo, poverty makes some people hate on people they think are better than them.

ABANGWABOI:
You are a Weakling, Me and you who is an idiot ?? Only a useless fool cries over a woman..
You can't even be my type... You would keep on crying over a woman till eternity..
I do hope she ends up ruining your crying life..
More tears wait you..
Daft and bereft fellow with zero balls and confidence.. You go cry tire..

Well I don’t blame you, I blame your N100 bundle. You shall get more pain than I have ever gotten and you will not live to own a property worth 7 million. You will only be free from these prayers only if I had anything personal with you.

Don’t compare me with wizkid compare me with anyone from your family let’s start verification. From your grandfather to your children’s children no one will ever be as financially okay as I am.

ABANGWABOI:
#ILMOVON
#Attitude
#Bliv

If all you said here is true then you deserve all she is doing to you..
I pray you catch her red-handed with a man on top of her..
Well, from your narration .. you are a so called rich boy.. throwing money to an ungrateful idiot..
Spending money on her like no tomorrow..
She is really good in manipulation and mind game..
You don't want your son to be raised in a broke. Home bla bla bla.. she would ruin you and you would end up dying before your time, then she would go ahead and enjoy your wealth while spreading her legs for another man like rumour while he bleeps her silly ..
Weaklings like you disgust me.. You are a WeakAss Sissy Betamale .. People dey abandon their wives and Son without any reason and go ahead and live their lives to the fullest .. here this idiot is suicidal over a lady that different dudes are fucking her silly.. the 200k you gave her is remaining just 10k coz she settled her lover boy that is fucking her silly in your absence.. but because she has a son for you , you can't e en reason proper to understand this..
Once a wife or girlfriend becomes unecessary rude, toxic and stubborn to you.. then know another man is fucking her.. that is how she would communicate it ..
You are a useless slowpoke and deserves to be poisoned by her for being idiotic..
Gosh.. can't believe the nonsense I just read.. feels like a stupid movie script..
You are a disgusting asshole..

If you think I wasn’t expecting trash from an idiot like you then you must be stupid. Whatever kind of male you are I don’t want to be your type.

ABANGWABOI:
Babe .. this guy is no where Near being an Alpha male.. he is a weak Ass and sissy nigga .. A beta male..
An alpha male don't take shit..
One of Wizkid babymama tried some shit with him, he withdrew his spending on her and the child and ceased communication..
In one of the leaked chat... Wizkid sister even told the baby mama to send the child to their mom if she is tired of taking care of the child.. the refused to give her shishi..
This guy is a Weakling.. only a stupid man would entrust a property of 70million on his babymama.. even Wizkid no fit try am despite his riches..
And I can bet Buhari's Balls that the babymama is sucking and fucking different dicks in Nigeria while the idiotic Op works his Ass off over there and still cry and beg her not to end things..
The OP is very low on self esteem and self worth.. a Weakling and a disgrace to men

Lol! I pity you, wait till you know how it feels to have a child. My guy don’t insult me money or properties don’t mean anything to me.

I don’t care if she end things or not my concern is my son not even the properties.

Klass99:
Lol , what made you think man's way of doing things (baby mama runs) could ever be better than God's way (marriage) I am not a religious or judgmental person but this whole baby mama business doesn't sit well with me at all.

If you are going to have children, at least give them a solid home foundation where both mother and father live together as man and wife, NOT as two people cohabiting immorally or living separately.

Aunty I nor talk say I nor wan live together oo, but the devil is winning here. Circumstances drew us apartment and I worked hard to bridge the gap.

Maybe I didn’t do enough or she wasn’t carried along but I did my best and I have accept my fate

Thanks to everyone that advised me

Stevenbright:
First and foremost, collect your documents and then give her space for sometime. When she comes back to herself, she will get back to you!

Thanks boss

Goodghoxt:
This is the devil attacking your peace of mind through your baby mama and her friend is the agent.
Bro be careful because it might affect your finances.
The only solution I can give is for you to pray to God for peace of the mind (Gods peace surpasses all understanding) and for your baby mama pray for her too because she is in a state of dilemma too, she doesn’t know what she is doing.

Thanks bro, it's affecting me already, it's has drained me psychologically. I have not bath, eat nor brush since yesterday.

Hardrive:
You can download it on www.pdfdrive.net. If it is not there like some people complained about then I sent it to you through some other means but I am sure you will find it there.

Thanks bro, at least that will keep me a bit busy, i couldn't download it please i'll appreciate if you will send it to me

Hardrive:
You will need to digest this material to know what went wrong. If after you do and still cannot find a way forward, then I can't help you. But when you do get answers, don't forget to show gratitude.

Where can I find it bro?

Homeboiy:
She can’t train your son alone

She will definitely come to you

Stop the call for one week

Okay boss thanks so much

Homeboiy:
I know you love your boy but you need to stop being too emotional.

Things are hard in Nigeria now and she’s misbehaving cos she’s seeing things in a plater of gold.

If I were you, I will ignore her for a week and see what comes out but am afraid she might sell your property.

Stop showing emotions when you call her

My brother in-law was also trying to talk to her when she swore by her mother’s grave then he said this is beyond me, he said don’t force her if that’s her decision let it be and concentrate on giving your son the best.

cococandy:
You can’t apply to take someone to say USA for example (if that’s where you live) if they are not related to you . Unless you’re applying for a visitor/student/business etc type of visa.

If you want them to come and live with you permanently, aka immigrant visa, they’d have to be related to you. Relationship ranking in order of importance spouse/child>parent>sibling. Legally married without complications from any shady issues, 6 months to 8 months, she and your child and join you. Parents can join you in about 1-2 years. Sibling takes up to 10 years.
If you’ve been applying and got denied, maybe you’re not telling the whole story.

Or....this is a whole story on its own.

Goodnight sir.

Thanks ma’am.

Vyolet:
What type of Visa have you been applying for?
On what ground are you applying.
There is no evidence that you are both married, is there any paternity test yet? How much have you convinced them that she is your wife?

All I see here are just excuses not to bring her over but a way to get custody of your son.

Lol you just made me laughed, I have never had issues with this woman over my son, his international passport bears my name also. Madam my own now pass me if you begin fight me now where I go turn to. I love this woman for real, if I don’t why will I trust her with so much ?

Jotrade:
The lady is not a wife material and if she end up to be your wife. My broda let her be and stop crying over a woman.

Bros I wish I was really crying over a woman.. I know what I went through growing up with my step mothers. I guess you now know why am crying