Miggs: No Sir,it isn't Nigerian males generally possess this inflated-ego brimming with self-importance.An ego so large,they begin to believe everything revolves around them even when it doesn't.An example is this thread's scenario,the monickers i quoted,believed women fixed hair wigs and put make up on their faces to please men when the fact is,it has got absolutely NOTHING to do with men but in the thoughts of the Nigerian male,it does because they cannot comprehend the fact that it doesn't because of their narcissistic tendencies.
Any human, even kids can tell when a woman has makeup. For you to see her with makeup and go befriend her, it shows you liked what you saw, in this case, a woman wearing makeup. Next time you are at a club, find the women with cornrows and no makeup. Take those ones home.
Like!
Enter Deeper Life, The Lords Chosen or MFM and pick wife, no.
I think it is a humiliation kink.... to pick an exotic bird and cage it.
Imagine I hate tattoos, pick a man that visibly has tattoos and then nag him to death for it or insist he removes them.
Dancebreaker: True. Equally, you cannot trust any wife entirely. A wife or blood relative can kill you over property.
A good middle way is to write a VALID will. Even if you are still young.
Ensure your kids get the majority. Get lawyers to execute and manage it for the kids until they are 18 or even 21. Give your wife her own share since she will look after the kids.
A seemingly loving wife can give all your wealth to her lover (old or new) when you are no longer around.
The monkey says she can only trust a baby inside her womb.
And what is your business with what your wife does with what's hers after your death?
Stephen0mozzy: When a man doe not set boundaries on what he'll tolerate in his own nuclear family, that's when extended family will misbehave.
My family know that I love them to the moon and back, they also know that I'm a wicked person (no-nonsense tolerated), so there are things I won't let them suggest about my own wife/children, so that even when I'm no longer around, they'll respect that - but note, you must not become an enemy to your own family sha, because na your wife go suffer am, they'll say she turned you against them, even though she MIGHT? be innocent.
And as a woman too, don't monopolize your husband's resources to yourself and your own family.... Insist that he also takes care of his own, e get why.
@ bold:
As his account manager or a baby who does not have sense abi?
In-laws cannot chase out a wife who has the power to 'monopolize' her husband's resources.
thatigboman: There is an update on x that the father in law has been arrested and the mother in law and others have left the house and the widow and her children have taken control of the house
UrVillageChief: You finish talk. I don’t know why people can’t just use the two and end this silly IOS vs Android war🤣 Both phones cater to different audiences. Buy iPhones if you want prestige, longevity, reliability, security (because the IPhone is a sandbox where one app doesn’t know about any of the other apps on your phone. Apps don’t have access to anything other than their own files), quality and social media Apps fluidity. Get yourself an Android is freedom is all you want and you don’t want to be confined and don’t really care about malware and attacks because unlike the iOS, every app on your phone has access to one another and to the root of your phone. Apple won’t have this much prestige if the IOs was allowed to be used by multiple phone makers like Android and this is the reason why every IPhone is (or was once) a flagship phone.
Efuaye: At this point, shouldn't our food and drúg regulatory bodies go into overdrive to ensure that the food, drinks, and medications we buy meet the standards for human consumption?
Legitbeauru: I recently discussed this with a married friend. My observation: many women today only seem to recognize a man during moments of financial abundance. His response was that this is how it should be ,a man is by nature a provider, and no woman should consider dating, let alone marrying, a man who can’t provide.
This raises questions for me:
1. Is any financial situation guaranteed? A man providing today could lose that capacity to circumstance tomorrow — just as easily as he could keep growing it. 2. If society doesn’t condemn a man for choosing a partner who can’t provide financially, why should a woman need to prove she “deserves” a man who can provide, when she can’t reciprocate? 3. If society accepts this imbalance, why do women still expect equality within it? Should such men then have outsized power in the relationship, even to the point of controlling their partner, without that being called abuse?
I’ve tested this in small ways. One woman I was getting to know asked for money for food; when I sent something, her response was dismissive. Another woman I’d dated for a while reacted badly when I asked her for a small loan, and the relationship ended shortly after. Experiences like these have shaped what I now look for or avoid in a partner.
The problem is that you men want to eat your cakes and have it.
Secondly, you lots are looking for service appliances and not wives (in an intimate sense).
To your second point, do you want to pretend that you do not understand gender roles in marriage? Or why a man can marry a 'financially dependent' woman?
If in a traditional or average marriage, a man doesn't provide at least, all the basics (shelter, clothing, food, mobility, school fees etc.), what is his usefulness in the marriage?
We have a thread on FP where a man embarrassed his wife because she left their child/sick child and went for an event. All the males okayed his action because he is the provider and she is the defacto care giver.
According to you, a man who finances the home has the right to control his wife; fair. He who pays the piper, dictates the tune.
I hope you also think it okay for the wife to control the husband when/if she finances or co-finances the home.
Because I still read/hear you men condemn financially independent women because they tend to 'control the husband' when she is the financier.
Eriokanmi: They will never. Many of them wished they never made that mistake. They cry in silence but wear fake smiles in the open. Once you're divorced, the crown is gone and you become vulnerable to all manner of men, drunkard, diabolical, uncultured, wicked...all of them will just be climbing you and dropping you. You can only escape this if you refuse to have intimacy for the rest of your life.
90% of the time, women cause this. I was on public transport to Oshodi recently. Cos where i was going, there was no space for parking . There was this lady who was dressed like a church deaconess. She was complaining of a man bitterly behind me, that he's carrying woman and I joined the conversation. I asked her, why was he carrying women,what happened at home? She said the man was just too loose, blablabla. I now said, the man too needs to share his part of the story. I told her things have changed as women have abandoned their core vaiues and duty as wife at home. I cited Margaret tatcher example and our grandmas who wouldn't joke with their husbands meals. She said it was because our grandmas didnt have a choice than succumb to men in their time. I now cited examples of some women who were successful in that era but would close their shop by 5pm and tell customers to go and come back tomorrow cos she's going to cook for her husband. I said nowadays, they'd say the man should enter kitchen, pick food from freezer, warm and eat...same man who provided all the things at home oo. Guess her response...she said if that man cannot warm food from the freezer,that means he's not yet ready to eat. Thats his wahala. I was like, you see now? People turned their attention to her in the vehicle. If that man sees a woman who can make him happy with good meals, he would not hesitate to go for her after years of endurance and deliberate mistreatment.
Women would be the first to cry foul once this happens. Obinrin rere , ni ade ori oko re. A good woman will protect her home at all cost. It doesn't happen anymore in our world of feminism. That's why divorce has become a commonplace. We men don't need much to be faithful and stay at home. Give us good food, respect us with at least, same measure of respect we give you and give us intimacy when needed. We won't go outside. You can't be full at home and still be hungry for food outside.
Our world has changed greatly. When there's no battery or threat to life in marriages, you can cohabit and correct things. Na you see am and say you want am. The love soon vanish the moment you begin to cohabit. You keep complaining and nagging. Men have their flaws too. Women know how keep home if they truly want to.
@bold:
Stop watching too much Nollywood or attending olden days village meetings.
A five year old is sick and the mother goes for a meeting/church event.
No background on how long the child has been sick. There is no need to ask who the primary caregiver is because it is obviously the woman.
The logical father leaves the sick child alone at home, transports himself to the venue of the event and starts dragging the wife to go back home to continue caring for the child.
Common sense did not tell the man that staying at home to care for the child to give the wife a break is the logical thing to do.
This looks like a Saturday/Sunday affair which means the man is likely not going to work/ a source of livelihood himself.
We tell the Church to organise sessions for men to teach them how to truly husband and cast out all Ahabic spirit from them; Solomon Buchi will tell us that 'men don't learn from such gatherings'. Perhaps their pastors (if qualified, should start one-on-one mentoring sessions with them).
Like I say, the ROI on marriage to the average man is absymal. If that woman was single, she will attend her event in peace, have someone (paid or free) to watch that child and have her dignity intact.
Arostar2023: That’s what oyibo would call “brain rot”. Sometimes when I read stories that people bother to comment on , on the internet, I feel so ashamed of people. Olodo uprising is real. The “masses” IQ level is depreciating at an alarming rate.
Sometimes, the truth is stranger than fiction.
If I open a thread on my mom's neighbour/cum employee or one of my in-laws with a new moniker, 99.9% of posters will call me a liar.
vdestro: My good friend just told me her husband does not trust her because of where she is from.
She is from the across the bridge and has been with Oga for 20+ years.
She said Oga said her people do not stay with their husbands if they fail to satisfy them financially or *sesually.
And that he knows she will leave him eventually when she is tired and that even though he appreciates that she is trying to do the right thing her across the bridge will get the better of her as people from that area are prone to doing.
She said everything she does now is read in that light even when she does things she knows the female gender does, e.g Oga believes in saving and spending on only necessaries, she supports Oga but sometimes wants to indulge, Oga says it's an across the bridge thing and not a feminine thing which she heavily disputes.
She says she is tired of being accused and of assuring Oga of her commitment and that she is not doing anything unusual for everything she does any woman would do same but Oga disputes this.
I told her I would put up this post to get people's opinions on this matter.
Why did your good friend's husband marry a woman from across the bridge when he doesn't trust them?
With how culturally diverse Nigeria is, he married a woman from a tribe he doesn't trust.
Agugbadin: She should prove oga wrong by behaving well and avoid any of the negative attributes oga thinks about her people until when he will be convinced that they are still good women from across the bridge.
If after twenty years he doesn't believe her, do you think extra five years? Ten years? Will make him magically believe her?
zimpolygon: "Lol, you are saying my uncle's wife might be the reason he stays so long? Now I feel bad for him
But wait. If I prepare an extra room for him, he will never leave. He will move in permanently. Then I will have two problems. My aunt who cannot cook and my uncle who cannot leave. I am not ready for that life
Me that's enjoying everything about my wife....... The last time my wife traveled I was happy but that happiness lasted for just minutes then I started missing her....I was tempted to travel to meet with her... Omo na my peace of mind be that oh....
Person when deh plan my daily clothings, feeding time table... Office taskbook?
Wetin una deh date when deh make una hate marriage?
Omenapounds: Ladies if a friend invites you on a date, except the location looks unfamiliar and shady, you don't need to go with your friend, Guys if you are not ready to foot the bill of your girl, there's no point taking her to an expensive restaurant, you can take her to any affordable place, simple!!!
Well said.
In addition, a girl can take her friends along on a date (one cannot be too cautious). However, let them seat a table across her & foot their bill or the girl they are 'protecting' foots the bill.
tuoyoojo: The problem we have is something that men have been subconsciously fed with over the years
Some men in an attempt to create facade of wealth and affluence would want to impress the girl so he can quickly smash and go
The girl on her part seeing thru the man would want to "eat his money and clean mouth".
The one when vex me na when one girl go carry a squad of 6 to 7 hungry girls to go on a date as "security" who would order everything on the menu and add take away to chop the guy money
But men don dey wise up. Any girl when start to exhibit tendencies of a hungry girl, na to jump am pass sharply.
If you call a girl and you ask how she is, and she responds "I am not feeling fine", just cut the call, na billing wan start
Know this "girl when like you nor go stress you"
Girls make rule for guys they don't like and break rules for the ones they like
Na when girl like u, u go realize say them get transport fee to come your house, that they have data and credit on there fones and can buy gifts for their man
I go lie for you?
Thank you!
The bushmeat and the hunter are trying to outsmart themselves.
Family › Re: Maintenance Sex by bukatyne(op): 7:00pm On Aug 06
