₦airaland Forum

GloriousGbola:
Because this is content and nothing more

You think a gym will hire that skinny hungry looking man as an instructor?

As you pointed out who does a massage on a raffia mat on the ground rather than a proper table in a private space?

Even your open air gym with concrete blocks has better packaging

Most importantly no gym worth their salt will allow their customers to be casually filmed as it is bad for thier rep and business

It is a shame how low people go for content these days.

At this rate, if you say so, Mr. Morka.

Why is this online? Aren't there female masseuses there? Why is this done outside? Looks like a mat spread on an express way.

Why?

So many questions

mightyhaze:
Na why i provide gym and massage room for my house

I recently bought a massage chair of 2.1m for my wife because I think she really needs massages but I can't really stand a masseur massaging my wife..

And this is really important esp for men..don't just bark orders on what u want and what u don't,do ur besr to provide reasonable alternatives.. u can as well do the training or massages urself if u can't get kits for it and don't want any mofo messing with ur treasure

@bold: Interesting POV.

Did you grow up in Nigeria?

May God console his family

Azzamann:
But madam. I sincerely believed you were one of few sensible married women here that could actually be a good example. Look at you now opening yansh for outside. Omo, all hope is lost.

Shouldn't your hope start from the married women in your family?

Strange that advising a man to marry the woman his level is making you this emotional.

I thought it was common sense.

Zanzibar1:
You just have to close your eyes and chose 1

He shouldn't so he doesn't frustrate himself & the wife in future.

OP is extremely hard to please though.

He did not settle for Alhaja sponsoring him; he doesn't want the girls looking for him as a sponsor.

faceland:
I bet she has friends group and wouldn't be embarrassed if she can't present a rich man as her lover.... Meanwhile, the civil servant can take her on a one night stand secretly and she will agree.

For the logical gender, you should understand that what a woman/man is looking for in a one-night stand is different from what they would look for in a long term partner.

That's why a man can sleep with a prostitute yet be looking for a virgin to marry.

cr7lomo:
She has delusional standards ...

Because? Do you know her?

cr7lomo:
Who marries a 43yr old woman... a woman wey don enter menopause... a 43yr old woman has nothing to offer .... even sex witha 43yr old woman is a no no ... its like pricing a damaged car that has been parked in mechanic for 15 yrs , covered in dust with no engine and broken interior ....

U women are so delusional to think at 43 , she can still score a single guy ... its like a poor man that has no accommodation or job trying to get a model with class...

U women really need to unlearn alot of stuff.... most ofvubdont know how men think .... its best she remains single cos no correct young man go marry am ... when there are single 25 yr old littered everywhere looking for a serious man

@ bold: ask the poster I quoted, he wanted to marry one.

Sex with a 43yr old is a no no. I hope you don't plan to marry or tell your in-laws this so they know you don't want their daughter to live long.

ExudeLoveToAll:
Most of you are really naive, not all civil servants earn badly, My uncle at his 40s was already a director if finance and account of a state pension board and a civil servant, so if he introduce himself as a civil servant someone like you who doesn't know how civil service works will think he earns small money and will support a woman not to marry him. Upgrade your througt process, you are part if the problem in this world.

I once met a lady ealier this year , everything was going well until I told her I am currently a researcher, she didn't communicate anymore. Someone who doesn't earn 10% of my annual income but because in her head she thinks I am a low income dude just like you afr thinking now concerning a civil servant, most if you afr fixated on things that aren't necessary for a healthy marriage and relying solely on things that don't keep marriage long term . No carry this sense train your female children I beg you.

@bold:

Civil servants with integrity do not earn well; some very snr govt people were still dragging themselves on top of salaries less than N1m.

That said, this woman does not want to marry a civil servant. QED.

Britishpea:
It’s not a bad thing to have standards. That’s her standard. Age doesn’t make one change standards. The problem will be if she’s not up to the standard she’s looking for. Eg.
If she’s one struggling half educated POS operator while her standard is to find a well established well educated cars dealer.

Very well said.

Even if not money, if she can't add value to the rich car dealer, that's where there is problem.

dmexy33:
I pity my fellow men out there because 99% of women in the world today are damaged, even the virgins are damaged.
For a woman to be damaged, it is about her perception, idealism and outlook on life. You will hardly find a good one and the reason for this is because of olodo uprising. 99% of men are olodos. Our women have gone astray because of poor leadership. There are no men capable of leading a woman anymore because their brains are empty. Someone will think that ''oh my first class certificate shows am intelligent..." that's part of the olodo uprising.
Anyways, I want to talk about how tiktok saved me from the wrong Girls.
The first one was just a girl I met in the library, she was into science fiction and I liked that she was calm and cool, spoke fluently, etc so we got to like each other so much we started talking about marriage even before meeting so I decided to arrange a meeting, then she started talking about money for a dress to meet up. But before then I got to find out that she had a guy through tiktok. I just blocked her.

The second one was a banker, I just went to print my bank statement the customer care girl was really nice and homely I took her contact and we started talking, she was all cool until one day tiktok brought her profile to my screen. This innocent looking and supposedly responsible girl was twerking 🤣 on tik tok and the funniest part she posted a picture calling her self a "bad b1tch" I withdrew quietly.

The third on I met her where she was selling food, she looked a acted very matured. I thought I was a good judge of character so I assumed that she was a good girl. We started talking then it she started asking for money for drugs, I was giving her, it got to a point where she was falling sick every week, hmmm. The funniest part was food, she was always hungry, suddenly she will just ask you for 5k to buy food I was giving oo until tiktok brought her profile to my screen, I went through a few of her friends posts and found out that she normally asks guys for food, like she was really hungry.

Some guys will think oh it's normal to spend on a girl, yes only if you are married to her. If you have dated a real professional woman with good manners and a professional skill you will never understand. In 2011 I dated a Muslim pharmacist, I didn't spend a dime on her, on her way to work early in the morning she'd bring me food, after work she dropped by and brought me stuff I was in school then. She traveled to Saudi Arabia later.
Again in 2015, my gf was working with UN, I was shocked when she came to Nigeria to visit me one Christmas with her own money, thru and from she paid for herself. Back then I was earning more than her and she was living in my house abroad. She never asked me for anything, I gave her money monthly and bought her phone when hers where getting out of fashion.

Marriage as we know it is a dead institution Today. It's only a matter of time before true colors emerge and happiness disappears.

When you were dating the Muslim lady who was dropping food to and fro work, you didn't think of doing something as a man in the relationship?

No 'I saw this hijab today and it looked lovely';
No 'I saw this palazo pants and it complements you' stuff once in a while? Or something for her job? Or a warm dinner waiting for her since she goes to work?

What is the difference between you and the tiktok girl asking for money all the time.

Thank goodness the Muslim girl was delivered from your hands.

DjAndroid:
Na so I jam one mature Yoruba lady in a matchmaking video on tiktok. She said she was 43 and was seriously looking for a husband. We chatted briefly on tiktok then moved to WhatsApp. When I told her I am civil servant, she stopped talking. Then I called her, she said: "I cannot date a civil servant, you will have nothing to offer me. Manage your salary with your family"

I shock ooo. So she been dey find sugar daddy at 43? But she told everyone was looking for a husband.

Na so I tell am say if had a family, I would not be looking for her. And that I was looking for a wife, not a side chick and that if I was looking for a side chick, I would not go for a 43 year old woman.

You want a 43yr old woman to marry you a civil servant, why?

Because she is 43yrs?

What if you are not in the same tax bracket? What if she is earning N2.5m/mth and pays N5m for rent per annum?

You should be happy she was plain with her standards so you both are not frustrated in future.

Go for a woman your civil servant salary can take care of.

She is 43, not 23.

At her age, she has less than 20yrs to work and a civil servant who can't fend for himself is not a wise choice especially if she wants kids.

Dpsychologist:
I was startled when i saw a video of a lady narrating on how her mother is giving her a life changing advice that immediately a man shows interest in her, she should start billing him, and if he is genuine, he will stay, while if he is not genuine, he will run away.

What exactly are we teaching the younger generation?

The internet has turned relationships into some kind of marketplace where people are constantly testing each other with money, gifts, sex, attention and material possessions. We then call these tests "standards" or "proof of love," when in reality, some of these behaviours are simply encouraging people to become more transactional and suspicious of one another.

A better message for that young woman would have been much simpler.

Make your own money. Develop yourself. Know your worth. Set reasonable standards. Know the kind of man you want, and allow men who genuinely meet those standards to approach you.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a financially responsible man. There is nothing wrong with expecting a man to have ambition, stability and the ability to take care of himself. The problem begins when someone's ability to spend money becomes the primary measurement of their character.

I have come to realise that our values influence the kind of people and situations we tolerate in our lives. If you believe love must constantly be demonstrated through money, you will naturally pay more attention to people who express affection through money. If you value character, discipline, honesty, responsibility and emotional maturity, those qualities will become much more important when choosing a partner.

People sometimes say, "How do you know someone is genuine? People can pretend."

Of course they can.

A person can pretend for a few weeks or even months. Someone can behave perfectly while trying to win you over. Human beings are capable of deception.

The closest thing we have to a window into someone's intentions, however, is their character.
I am not talking about how they treat you when they desperately want something from you. I am talking about how they live generally.

Watch how they treat people who cannot benefit them.

Watch how they speak about their friends when those friends are not around.
Watch how they behave when they are angry.
Watch how they handle money.
Watch how they respond to failure.
Watch how they treat colleagues and strangers.
Watch whether they keep their promises when nobody is forcing them to.
Watch what they do when they have an opportunity to cheat and know they will probably never be caught.

Those things tell you far more about a person than whether they bought you an expensive phone three weeks after meeting you.

Someone may successfully hide their character from a romantic partner for a while, but it is much harder to maintain a completely artificial personality across every area of life.

Pay attention to the pattern. The young people growing up today are being exposed to an enormous amount of relationship advice, much of it coming from strangers who have no idea what happens inside the relationships they are advising people about.

"Bill him."
"Make her jealous."
"Never text first."
"Never give him sex."
"Test her."
"Test him."
"Make him spend."
"Make her chase."
"Never show weakness."

We are turning human relationships into psychological warfare. Perhaps the younger generation needs something much more boring but much more useful.

Learn to become a good person.
Learn to recognise good character.
Make your own money.
Develop independence.
Set healthy boundaries.
Choose carefully.
Communicate honestly.
Do not use manipulation to test love.

Do not confuse someone's ability to spend money with their ability to love. Do not confuse someone's willingness to have sex with commitment. Do not confuse marriage with a guarantee of good character.

Money matters. Attraction matters. Compatibility matters. Sexual compatibility matters. Shared values matter. But character matters even more.

At the end of the day, we cannot see inside another person's heart. We can only observe their choices and the patterns they repeatedly display.

Perhaps that is why one of the most important things we can teach the next generation is not how to extract the maximum value from relationships, but how to recognise people who have genuine value themselves.

May the next generation learn the difference.

@bold:

If a man is not looking for an ebina he can control or hit & run sex, it should be a red flag to push him away.

Emeskhalifa:
Aren't there indigenous Muslims in that country? If yes, then that law infringes on their right

Right to do what?

A Muslima can wear a burka if she so desires. Don't just do it in the public.

Our face is a central part of our identity. If I can't ascertain who you are, how can we live peacefully? Do business?

Abeg o! That's a good call.

deebrain:
It is the women themselves that should be speaking up against this rubbish.

There is no wrong in bride price (which is usually generally cheap) but there is usually a "bridal list" which is amounts to extortion. It should be reasonable. It is believed that marriage is a life time commitment and unity between the two families. But some (usually from the brides side) see it as an opportunity to cash out

Being head of my family, I personally stopped that rubbish with my younger ones trying to take stupid advantage of the suitors of our daughters. (S/S).

I don't stand against bridal list, but it must be reasonable.

People that did not give money for biro training the girls will be demanding for Bugatti. God punish you.

How can women complain about bride price when it is a system created by men for men?

The bride is not getting N1 out of the money.

If men feel it is exorbitant, they should moderate it at their next village meeting.

Leave us women out of it.

Serious red flag!

It shows that the guy just wants to marry to tick a box.

If he really loves the woman, threatening to cancel the marriage is not the solution

LordBiden:
That's not true,with 500k salary in Nigeria you are rich.

How many people even earn up to 500k in a country where minimum wage is 70k

What is your definition of rich?

duduade:
Yes African culture. So she should know her place

What is the wife's place?

Besides African culture involves rituals, human sacrifices, slave trade et al.

I hope you still participate in them.

illicit:
Sometimes things like this are meant to check wayward and uncouth ladies...

My mom teaching me mathematics on our dining table & hyping me up

Stephen0mozzy:
Gbam. That's why I believe death bed repentance is just bobo.

So if you think you can be unholy all through your life, and then do Pascal's Wager, then you nor really understand nothing 😅

@bold:

The second thief repented at his death bed (on the cross) though.

I don't think death bed repentance is bobo; I think it is a gamble because nobody knows how they will die.

Not everyone will be lucky to die gradually.

Sheuns:
This shows you don’t even know the history you claim.

In the past, children were called by their father’s name and not grandfather or family name.

They say this person the child of that person from this family

Surname is the introduction of the whites.

Try to read and understand your history before saying stuff that isn’t right.

While surnames are a western thing, families lived within their clans so everyone knew where you were.

@bold: that was the African version of 'surnames'.

Like the OP rightly pointed, someone who is from a prominent family will continue to bear the ancestral surname.

Except they were known for something really really crazy.

For a gender not benefitting from marriage, men 'interest' to ensure women remain in marriages is strange.

Especially marriages not serving them.

@OP: Goodluck to her, Victory at last!

pocohantas:
Many times I have seen Nigerian couples talk of sex in marriage and if many didn't agree, I would have thought it is cruise. The single ladies were even telling the married to stop scaring them, but these women insisted that is how it is. I can never forget one that said "it is in marriage you will know kissing is luxury/optional, your husband will just tell you to open and he will chook". It was cringey to me.

I feel many of them are not with partners they are sexually attracted to (overtime). I also have men who wanted to marry me in the past that I am sure I would have had thousands of maintenance sex with in marriage. The thought of having sex with these men traumatises me till date. pheeew!

A lot of the husbands don't think their wives are worth the effort of romance because
1. They expect the wives to 'submit'.
2. They paid bride price and so it is their entitlement
3. They have fallen out of love or tired of performing
4. They think their wives are going nowhere
5. They concentrate their efforts on another women for the thrill.
6. They have Madonna/LovePeddler complex: their fantasies are for the women outside

Some of the wives are no longer sexually attracted because:
1. They married to escape poverty
2. The husband has done a bad job of it over the years so they have given up
3. The husband has become another toddler they have to clean up after /raise.
4. Their religious background erroneous teachings made them frigid
5. They have side cocks

Ati be be lo