₦airaland Forum

Twenty8:
Providing is his choice too, he can just decide to ignore the family.

A married man can 'just ignore his family'?

It.is.well.

SIRTee15:
First it's insulting to say your wife added no value to your life. She gave u 2 kids that bears YOUR NAME. THAT PRESERVES YOUR LEGACY.
She just doesn't sit down at home doing nothing, she is raising your kids, keeping the house clean, cooking you good home made meals and satisfying your urge at night at your beckon. That is something and u dont pay her for it, do you?
forcing her to do business when she has no entrepreneurial skills or background history in business acumen shows it's your fault not hers. She may be well adapted to routine desk job rather than commerce. ask her first how she wants to add extra income to the house not just pushing your ways on her.

Finally, whether u like it or not. It's your duty to provide for your home. THAT IS YOUR GOD GIVING RIGHT DUTY AS A MAN TO PROVIDE FOR YOUR HOME OTHERWISE U ARE WORSE THAN AN INFIDEL- NA BIBLE TALK AM.
Being a man isnt about attending to the needs of your testosterone urge or packing 5 shoulders up and down. What makes u a man is your ability to take care of yourself, another man's daughter and your kids.
whatever your wife brings in is just an adjuvant, u are not expected to rely on it.

I think it's high time we really need to change the orientation of our men in southern Nigeria, because I dont understand how u cant feed your family and the next thing that comes to your mind is to blame your wife....instead of u to DOUBLE YOUR HUSTLE AND KEEP GRINDING.

come to uk, south asian men dont even allow their wives to work, yet na dem get property pass even more than africans that both couple work.
Men better learn to work hard, disruptive AI is coming that will wipe out more than half of all jobs in labour market. At that time, a man will even be lucky to get job not to talk a house wife.

The men down South especially Yorubas & Efik are really really irresponsible financially.

Whilst I cannot be an housewife (I don't have the emotional capacity to do the psychological gymnastics to appease a demi-god), it is highly irresponsible for a husband to say his wife is not adding value to his life because she is not earning.

In the same society that a wife has been assigned the primary home keeper & child carer.

These men are just looking for submissive providers.

He should divorce his wife and hire people to do all the things his wife does. Then he will understand the meaning of value.

carzeem1:
Alot of guys out there are facing your challenges.

Income still walking while family expenses speeding away like Ferrari engine.

The honest truth is combining family, home duties with business/ corporate world will require you to put in place substitutes for all the chores/work she does around the house.

You have to accommodate maid(s)/in-laws to make the transition from house wife to income earner smooth hoping those one don't also come with thier issues. Also, understand that it takes networking, different approach (social media) to succeed in business nowadays because competition is fierce in most business terrain.

Also, if she has not being in the corporate world before marriage, I doubt she can go in now because that sector has prerequisite for the decent jobs unless you will make do with roles like call centres/ receptionist etc.
In all, your best bet is getting her a government job that still gives her ample time for family n starting a new biz small without much of your input.

Any business will she does now will take your time( less time for the kids) and risk your finances again.

Any woman not doing any serious business or job before marriage and child birth is designed to be an housewife. It will take a lot of resources and networking to change that

Sometimes, I am inclined to think that some men have traded their brains for fufu while they were younger.

You never hear richer men sprout this nonsense of a wife 'being a liability' because she doesn't earn. They are begging & threatening their wives to stay home so she can fully run the home.

It is always the poor, wretched ones.

How can a husband open his mouth to say his wife is not adding 'any value' to his life because she doesn't 'bring in money'?

I will bet that he absolutely does nothing around the house & childcare.

If he divorces his wife and she wisely leaves the kids with him, he will be hunting for a replacement wife to take over her duties.

Honestly, mental evaluation is required before marriage.

Amotolongbo:
says who? 🧐
A wife should come with a value and add the value to the home, not liability.
The man married a wife, not incurred a loan to be serviced with his hard earned money.

The man still has to be blamed cause this is the kind of attribute he should have noticed in the woman before marrying her. It is very hard seeing an idle spinster becoming an industrious wife.

I can excuse the men calling a non-earning wife a liability because most of them don't or refuse to use their brain.

But you a woman who should actually know what a wife brings to the table apart from money especially one with kids, your comment is very shameful.

givedemwotowoto:
Out of 1.6 million barrels of oil daily production, going by 60 - 40 arrangement, Nigeria owns 960,000 barrels.

Out of 960,000 barrels, Nigerians consume only 327,000 barrels daily. Nigeria still has over 600,000 barrels they can sell to the international market at prevailing global oil prices.

It’s interesting that Nigerians who are victims of corruption are the ones looking for all possible ways to explain and excuse why the government can’t do better for them

@ bold:

Really strange.

givedemwotowoto:
So you mean Nigeria is now making a lot more money to take care of the local needs of Nigerians?

If they explain Nigeria to you and you understand, it means the person did a bad job.

iamSamurai:
Even the white wedding? In our culture, after the traditional wedding ceremony, the wife gets wedded in the husband’s church. I understand there can be compromises around this. My sister married Yoruba. we never asked him to come wed her in our Church.

Strange.

He should have wedded your sister in her church; that's our tradition.

To the OP, since you feel so strongly about your version of Christianity i.e. Catholism; then look for a Catholic bride.

And ditto to your lady.... if she thinks Catholics need to see the 'light', then it is foolishness to marry one. Even the Bible says 'we should not be unequally yoked'.

In this big 2026, we don't want to hear these stories; just pick someone you align with in obvious areas.

Aditkd:
Greetings Sir.
You are going to be the head of your family, after God is you in that family.
If she isn't ready to do the marriage in your church then she should take a walk.

Don't bring problems into your marriage. Go and marry someone who is willing to take your stance in were you both will marry. She must not be Catholic like you but go for a woman who will understand your point of view and your spiritual responsibility to her and the home.

Just my 2 cents advice Sir. Do have a pleasant day ahead Sir.

Madam,

The church the couple wed has nothing to do with headship; it is cultural.

victoryenergy:
In Christianity, that's the rule, when you marry a woman from another church, she's obligated to switch to her husband church, this enhance bonding, and unity, what I see here is that the woman don't love the man, she just married the man just for marriage sake. Good decision from the man, now the lesson here is that never marry a woman that you can't control.
Shalom

The rule in Christianity: where is this rule stipulated?

Munzy14:
A woman has no church until she marries if she wishes to marry.

After marriage she follows her husband.

Two captains can't be in the same Ship. E go burst!

She has no name either nor does she have a house.

She is just floating, non existent until an almighty man rescues her.

EniHolar:
I'm not sure God is aware of this

Story sounds fake though.

But again, there is nothing these religious folks can't do.

olajay86:
X user shares story of pregnant neighbour, sparks debate about who deserves sympathy

An X user has sparked mixed reactions after sharing a story about a pregnant neighbour going through a difficult time.

According to the post, the neighbour knocked on their door around 6:30 a.m., not to ask for money or food, but simply to sit for a moment.

The woman, who is seven months pregnant, reportedly said she didn’t want to cry where her husband could see her.

The post explained that the family has been under financial pressure after the husband recently lost his job, leaving rent overdue and hospital bills piling up before the baby is born.

Despite the situation, the woman was said to be rubbing her belly and smiling.

When asked how she was still able to smile, she replied: “Because this baby deserves a happy mother… even if I’m scared.”

However, some users criticised the post, arguing that the husband’s struggles were being overlooked.

One user wrote that sympathy should also be extended to the husband, noting that he had previously been providing for the family but is now dealing with unemployment and the pressure that comes with it.

Another user added that men often carry such burdens silently because society expects them to remain strong.

Responding to the criticism, the original poster said the story was not meant to ignore the husband’s situation.

“The fact that she didn’t cry in her husband’s presence shows he is a good man and trying, but the entire situation still weighed her down,” the author wrote.

They added that both partners are facing the hardship in different ways, noting that the woman is also struggling emotionally while trying to remain strong for her unborn child.

https://www.titopeblog.com/2026/03/viral-x-story-about-pregnant-neighbour.html

Lukuluku69
SlavaUkraini
Mynd44
Seun
Nlfpmod
Lalasticlala

@bold:

I wonder why couples aren't vulnerable to one another which is what builds love, initimacy & trust.

As in, they will be emotionally vulnerable to everyone except their spouses.

I won't be surprised if the husband is also crying at a colleague's house.

It is well.

I honestly wonder if you guys actually process the crap you type before regurgitating it.

Pastors are known to be very emotionally intelligent and know how to draw out the best in people. You would tell a pastor that you killed 50 people and he will tell you that it is 'well' and join you to go and beg the family. Have you actually engaged a pastor before?

GYM Instructors are paid to train you and everyone (men & women) follow their training because they are the experts. Yet, they can't force you to follow a routine or come to the gym. Even a doctor whose instructions have more fatal consequences haven't successfully gotten their patients to comply how much more gym Instructors.

Bosses: this damn crazy example again. Infact, bosses undergo multiple trainings year in year out on how to treat their team members. If you have ever worked in a standard organisation, you will know that your bosses do not have the right 'to sack people, withholding salary or request blind obedience'. You and your boss are both in an organization bound by policies and there are guard rails to checkmate them. And if your boss is still moving mad, you sack him aka resign. But again, you probably never worked in one that's why you don't get that.

Infact, if husbands treat their wives how their pastors, gym Instructors and bosses treat them, they will get the best out of their wives.

Liverpoolfc:
The same boss, pastors even G.Os , and gym instructor face worse from their wives than you can imagine. Don't let one unmarried guy destroy your marriage with unrealistic write up. Manage your wife in the best way you can have peace for the sake of your children.

Dzzzz:
Why will a man leave you for the nanny !?..You maybe the problem but want to manipulate things here.

@bold:

The same reason a wife will 'leave' her husband for the driver, landlord or her neighbour.

lavylilly:
Throughout the Old Testament, several key figures practiced polygyny (one man, multiple wives), and it was not directly condemned.
🔹 Abraham
Had Sarah and Hagar (Genesis 16)
God still called him blessed and made covenant with him.
🔹 Jacob
Had Leah and Rachel, plus their maidservants (Genesis 29–30)
The 12 tribes of Israel came from this arrangement.
🔹 David
Had multiple wives (2 Samuel 5:13)
Described as “a man after God’s own heart.”
🔹 Solomon
Had many wives and concubines (1 Kings 11)
His downfall was idolatry, not the number of wives itself.
The Law of Moses regulated polygyny rather than banning it (Exodus 21:10).
The argument here: If it were inherently sinful, God would have forbidden it explicitly.

📖 In the New Testament:
Church leaders were instructed to be “husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2).
But this requirement was specifically for overseers/bishops — not explicitly for all men.
Some argue this implies monogamy was ideal for church leadership, but not necessarily mandated universally.


Some argue that men separate sex from emotional bonding more easily.
Women often bond more through intimacy.
Therefore, male plural relationships are more “naturally aligned” with male psychology.
This argument says monogamy is a social structure for stability, not necessarily a biological default for men.

Rahab was a prostitute, Tamar slept with her father-n-law, Rebekah connived with her son to deceive her husband etc. They were all in the genealogy of Christ.

Then we have the Samarithan woman who had five husbands and a lover who later became an evangelist.

Perhaps, we women should follow these examples also.

Happy Satiday Oloyin!

There are a lot of raves online on maintenance sex after a clip where Pastor Iren opined that maintenance sex is the most important sex in marriage surfaced. Some Christian ladies supported him, saying that they have maintenance sex to make their husbands happy and then proceeded to define sex that starts with pre-intimacy. Putting your lingerie in his lunch box and prancing naked while he has a meeting isn’t maintenance sex.

For starters, maintenance sex in his context is having sex just for having sex. The ‘just lie on your back’ type, where the husband penetrates, does his thing, ejaculates and moves on.

That said, in principle, the concept is supported by Paul’s admonition in 1st Corinthians 7 that a wife’s body belongs to her husband and a husband’s body belongs to his wife, that they should ensure they do not sexually starve one another (render unto each other due benevolence) so that either party is not tempted because they are used to constant sex.

In essence, on the surface, the concept of maintenance sex is not wrong.

However,

1. Maintenance sex only benefits one party: the husband, and a marriage bed consisting mainly of maintenance sex will create a very sexually frustrated wife. Sexually, a man can switch on & off quickly, while a woman needs some loving, aka pre-intimacy, to be warmed up and takes a while to be turned off. This pre-intimacy doesn’t have to wait till they are about to retire at night and do the do. Any action that creates that sexual state is pre-intimacy; all that is needed is loving the woman and/or desiring to make love to her and make the experience great for her. Fortunately for men, many activities fall into this category: several women are turned on by handy men: fixing the plumbing, cars, faucet, cooking, chores, fixing an issue, stepping up to relieve her of stuff, giving advices, consultancy etc., for some women, it is random credit alerts; for some, random sweet talk butters them up for the night; for some, it is a spank here, a touch there while others like sensual dirty talk. You get the idea; know your woman and what makes her tick.

2. Such advice, while gender neutral in the Bible, has managed to be customised to women. While the pastor did not say ‘wives should have maintenance sex’, it was men forwarding the message to their wives to validate the tasteless sex they already offered her anyway. Besides, by virtue of anatomy, it is much harder for a woman to ‘collect’ maintenance sex from her husband. She must do something to make him erect (Mouth Action, some sort of play, aphrodisiac, etc.). In addition, he is stronger, so unless he is drugged or becomes willing along the line, the wife is not having her ‘maintenance sex.’

Instead of teaching maintenance sex as another burden for wives and invalidating their need for sexual fulfilment, the Church should disappoint me and teach husbands how to be unselfish lovers. Broloshos have told us several times that there is a way you touch a woman, she will be a LovePeddler in the sheets for you. Biologically, a woman’s libido increases with age. Those are two points working in your favour, Mr Husband.

Rather than concerning yourself with maintenance sex and yapping about how you are owed sex because you paid N2 as bride price, learn your wife’s body and start pre-intimacy long before the bedroom so that you unlock that wild side of her.

Ire o!

Georgry:
capital market is not for small investors, it's for people who have significant capital.

Not true.

He can invest whatever he has and keep building on it.

incogni2o:
So can someone explain in layman terms, average investor's take home.

For instance , if I investor's 1 million naira.


I want to know if it makes sense more than farming.

or I should ba thinking of Dangote shares.

For dividends, think of the number of shares and not the amount invested.

If you have 2000 shares, your dividend will be N20 × 2,000 shares.

EmperorIsaac:
Jesus is actually all we need....He is the source of our sustenance.
Mine left me with Jesus, and oh, no better inheritance than that!

Even the Bible says a wise man leaves an inheritance for his children's children. Prov 13:22.

Jesus's earthly father left the inheritance of his carpentry to him.

Host78:
Forget cruise.

That man is old enough to be her father aside religion, he still deserves some respect from her.

She was deliberately rude to him

So deliberate rudeness deserves a death penalty?

The business must be solid if N72m is off and the oga did not notice.

But the story sounds fishy; the oga believes he stole N72m and asked him to only refund N20m?

Or the oga knows of his side hustles and just wants a cut for himself as baba isale?

Happy birthday cococandy,

Have a great year

BusterG:
I initially didn't want yo reply but from the little stories I have been hearing the majority of Nigerian men who towed this line are already regretting it.
Now im not saying all but from.my analysis maybe 90%.

The general structure in Nigerai as regards financial management, spousal dependency, monthly expenses etc is a man's perogative but its completely different when you take your spouse abroad. You are more like partners now so its easy for her to start earning even more than you and then one day the big question crosses her mind " DO I REALLY NEED THIS GUY HERE ANYMORE"?

In her mind, I work and earn my money so let me get rid of this fool and live large, buy anything I like, travel anywhere I want, Bleep whoever I feel like, send whoever I want money, build my own house back home, bring my parents/siblings over etc.

Then.she starts a scheme on how to get rid of the idiot most times through an indictment of his character. She gets the cops involved and quickly get him outta the house, and or get him sacked at his job and viola she's good to go. After this she'll ensure you pay child support with the guise of " don’t be a deadbeat father".

All the government institutions are offcourse in her favour so you'll be working hard and paying her to live her own sweet soft life. 😋

Woe betide you if you no guide from start and if you're not streetwise as a guy.

Hmmmm . You gonna learn.

Let's leave it here for now.

Let's take this post at face value.

Don't you think there is a serious problem if ALL a man can offer in a marriage is money?

Because if the man in your post was really husbanding, the wife making money wouldn't rock the boat.

A wife actually resigned to cook meals daily?

Not because the kids need extra care or the husband is sick?

Because of food?

Anyways, like a content creator said, all women should have sharp sharp meals they can quickly mix and match on fire. Not necessarily because of gbewiris like the husband above.

Well, for women married to abatenijes like the above and want to indulge him, grind pepper mix and boil to a paste in the fridge. Making stews from such is in minutes. Also have dried/smoked fish; make okro asepo your friend, have different vegetables in the freezer and meat stock.

Ire o!

Nothing spoil; Adekunle is starting to look like the guy with his dreads na.

Who knows if he actually tried to look like the guy because of her tweets?

On to the next.

Robertgreene1:
The worse part is that the poor child will grow up and still repeat the same mistake of breeding like rabbits, continuing the cycle of poverty forever

This is the part that amazes me the most.

Suffering due to lack was your lived experience; yet nothing in your coconut head is telling you that you have to do it differently to avoid same patterns.