₦airaland Forum

sassysure:
In my place, when u are about to get married, your mum and the elderly women will call u and sternly admonish you over one particular thing.
Don't ever allow your husband 2 nights without eating your food. U do that, one of your legs is already out of the house unknowingly.
I usually see that as one foolish admonition but as I got older, I see the sense in what they said.
Ur mum will tell u when u call her that u fkked up. Simple.

There is one thing we have to understand about Nigerian men. They are too egoistic. Now, how do u work around an egoistic man? U bow. That is what he want and rule from the ground. Learn when to surrender even if u are right and look for plan B.
Once a man see you are not dragging headship with him, he will be relaxed around you. Then u will have him at your palm.
If he refuses to eat the first time, let a day pass for anger to subdue. Actually, whatever the man is doing later than a day is ego play. Approach him. No relationship succeed without communication. Even if he don't want to talk, women re known to be very cunning and sly when they want to, he is also your husband, u will know how to get him to see his error. He may not ask for forgiveness that day but he will ask albeit subtly especially the more dominant ones.
Marriage has nuggets.
Very simple ones. Just that we are too blind to follow them.

Even the worst narcissist can cower before his wife if she know the right button to press.

crackkhaus:
Let me let you in on a little secret, free of charge...and this is from a good number of men including myself.

See, any man who easily moves on from conflict with his partner every single time without giving an attitude, needing an apology and acting like all is well, simply does not care about her enough to be hurt by her. It's not about maturity all the time, but genuine disinterest.
You can't really hurt someone who's not emotionally invested in you.

So while some women may go around believing that the man in their lives always apologizes and moves on quickly/swiftly from grudges, then go ahead to erroneously misconstrue this action as a depiction of his love and maturity...it usually comes as a rude shock to such women in the long run when he does something drastic which she was never expecting.

truthsayer009:
As a matter of fact, no sane woman would stay in a relationship where a Man does absolutely Nothing financially for her, not in this life neither in any alternate universe in the Galaxy.

Let OP recover some of her money & break up with him in peace, Instead of lying profusely that he hasn't done anything for her.

Imagine 24 to 31 years Habba! Someone is lying please

crackkhaus:
Lmao...you're always so honest.

I'm waiting for her to come and lecture us on how a woman who refuses to apologize is acting so mature, but the man who responds with silent treatment and avoiding her/her food is the immature person between both of them.

Or perhaps, for a husband to avoid being called immature/childish:
- he has to beg her to come and apologize
OR
- just forget about the apology and move on

LordKO:
To appoint you Mathematician General of the Federation na ihm come remain now.

crackkhaus:
Compromise... expressed mathematically

Flesh and blood does not provide this kind of wisdom.

When almost everyone is busy offering up solutions that will cause more problems in his home, you simply found a way to appease both sides.

Dpharisee:
Police should deal with the perverts who always strip women at every accusation and film it

Its time everyone stand up against perverts, last week in Auchi on this forum a woman was caught with her gang, only the woman was stripped of all her clothes.

Humanoid01:
I still don't understand the rationale behind stripping people naked for stealing. Can't we hide our backwardness for once? See the way she's pleading for mercy. Don't the person who made the video and the other guy filming have a conscience, or they want to go home and self-service with it?

Those idiots that stripped her have probably done worse, they were just fortunate to not get caught. Bunch of hypocrites (I'm not even a fan of the word). Shet! my blood dey boil. This thing dey pain me.

boyjo:
Hahahaha, NL romance section guys don finish work for this one body.

My dear lady, no sane REAL man will marry a girl who rejects his giving!
Except a leech who has ulterior motives. You are indirectly telling the MAN you don't need him.

Ladies, when your man spends on you, be humble enough to accept it. And appreciate it. And Say, "thank you" and add a word of blessing from time to time.

That is how to be humble, okay?

PS
I dey talk of man o, not boys wey still dey explore.

VivleBriella:
LordKO

Bukatyne

Thanks for the contributions everyone
I didn't go mute, I just didn't think replying everyone individually's the right way..

I've decided to let him go, it's not like he hasn't done anything for me since we started dating, he used to buy me things when we initially started(first 2 months) but I usually insist on footing the bills, cause I didn't want him to see me as a leech, guess he got used to me footing the bills and left me to myself, he's extravagant to some extent, give him 100k today and in two days, he doesn't have a dime on him anymore, usually can't stand seeing him broke, hence, always giving in to his demands but I've had enough cause he already told me point blank he can't marry me during an argument, cause I'm not supportive and submissive..

And to the bloke who thought vivlebriella's for wedding cards, no, it's not, it's just some random nick I thought bout to open an account with but thanks for your contribution, it's appreciated.

reeny2020:
reeny2020: Quote Post
Hello nairalander I need your advice am married with one child but my husband is a government ministry worker and he is lazy and doesn't like to hussel he has work for close to fifteen years and not even a property we are living in rented apartment.All the movie and telemundo he knows all of it now he doesn't go out or visit or have friend after work watch movie he even went to buy fire TV Even dou we have android tv. I don't want my life to be like my parents wasted life without any achievement what or how can I go about making my home an investment home. life is not all about eating food and be comfortable since food is not the problem what should I do.pls advice me

megareal:
You know it is your type I would love to put in the same room with just one of my cousins who are leaders in the occult. Thirty minutes only, alone with one of them and this your supposed educated mentality will vamoose fiam. That is if your mouth will ever be able to say what you have seen. Or if your educated brain would even remain the same after the encounter.
You know why I know and believe God is real and I worship and serve Him? Because I have seen both worlds. The devil is very real too.

KosiGee:
If the bolded defines you, it doesn’t define me. Stop being a spineless zombie. Call a spade a spade.
El Rufai junior should know better but I don’t blame him. An apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. He is a chip of the old block.

El Rufai Senior has a reputation for such tweets and messages. His son was only propagating his legacy.
That’s why I said he needn’t apologise as the apology wasn’t from the heart.

He will tweet and spread more hateful messages.

ddippset:
Festacman

See people who are condemning Bello.!

See their languages!!

Simologistics3:
He apologized because he found out the person is not Igbo right . May dog rape his mother 50 times , stupid son of a midget.

KosiGee:
He probably made that apology under duress. El Rufai junior is an unrepentant tribalist. I wanted to suggest he heed to the advice to check into some anger management and rehabilitation classes but that wouldn’t do him much good. He should continue to be himself. I repeat he is not repentant. Check out his tweets and spats before this one.

lildonn222:
the only reason it was news on the first place is because of the fact that he's a son of a governor,how many of us insults each other worse than that on nairaland ?

Imoobot:
Having just a vagina, boobs and hips doesn't make you a woman..... Many men believe that a lady is a woman when she is sexually strong and she can cook a good meal at home. Even at some point, some women don't know exactly who they are. Take a look over what a woman is below and you will be amazed and feel so sorry for the woman you have been maltreating knowingly or unknowingly in your home....it could be your wife, your sister, your daughter, any of your female relatives or even it could be your maid.

A woman is the one that can feed a man with encouragement and positive ideas.

A woman is not the one that can help a man spend all his money but helps a man save and invest before spending.

A woman is the one that does not run her mouth with sarcasm and insult just to prove a point, her words are gracious ,the one that her words can heal broken hearts.

A woman is the one that knows when to talk and when to shut up.

A woman is the one that her mouth doesn't leak secrets.

A woman is the one that invest always in herself and future.

A woman is the one that is content with what she has at the moment and not the one who sell herself just for Brazilian hair and Gucci wears.

A woman is a manager, a caretaker a womb that can nature and birth destiny.

A woman is not the one that does not do everything trending, but she is reserved and has the taste of a queen.

A woman is the one that doesn't look down on any man because of his present state of life and finance but can encourage any man to get better.

A woman is the one a man will go on a date with and not just spend his money but get wisdom from her.

A woman is the one who multiplies not just babies but can multiply ideas, inspiration every where.

A woman is the one who understands her uniqueness and fragiity and never compete with a man!

A woman is the one a man can cry on her shoulders and not feel humiliated for doing so nor lose his value.

A woman is the one that shouldn't feel entitled to a man's money just because he showed interest in her.

A woman is not the one that decives a man just to eat his money, but the one who is honest and sincere in any s d every relationship.

A woman is the one that knows what she wants in a man and in life, and goes for it.

A woman is not the one that makes men feel terrible, but the one a man can run to for comfort.

A woman is the one that will spoil a man with honour and respect because there lies her strength.

A woman is the one that has a mind of her own, to make the right decisions for herself and future.

A woman is an influence, a nation and a helper.

Many are females but only a few can be called WOMAN!

Only a WOMAN is called BEAUTIFUL!
Add yours.

SyrusdeHansome:
Just felt like throwing this questions to everyone in the forum.

1. Is it advisable to marry or plan to marry someone you've had canal knowledge of?

2. What's the excitement in such a marriage? How can we date or court without having sex?

3. Can premarital sex contribute to marriage failure?

4. If God truly hates premarital sex what's the substitute 4 it so that we can end up not annoying God nd also end up not having postmarital issues because of poor sex life?

5. Pls my pple don't criticise me for my post. I just wanna learn from u pple.

SyrusdeHansome:
But what if u have a canal knowledge of someone u don't have any feelings 4 nd also someone u don't share the same values with?

agwom:
https://www.dailytrust.com.ng/no-single-ventilator-but-nasarawa-buys-n500m-cars-for-lawmakers.html

sapientia:
China will bleed.

The way they handled this covid 19 was too shady.

Every data they presented do not match.

If you think Europe will lose these number of people and keep quiet, then you need a rethink.

Most are keeping quiet because they have been overwhelmed by covid 19.

When its over, these nations will bite and Chins will bleed.

China produces 20% of global goods while USA produces 18%.

A reduction from that 20% will hurt them badly .

Nations are already moving out their production lines from China.

Curiouscity:
The problem I see, and which you have failed to mention, is adulteration of cultures. When growing up, we are raised with the notion of obeying our parents. In turn, our parents take care of our well being, training/education, till we come to a point of seeking marriage. In short, we are our parents investment in most cases. In a traditional African setting, a wife coming into such a family is supposed to be absorbed into the family. The wife becomes a daughter in such a family, following family norms, traditions, and hierarchies.

The came the adopted western culture. Because of education, most men and women don't really want to subscribe to the African model of family. Most wives follow the western model of Nuclear family (husband, wife and kid), and want little or nothing to do with parents inlaws. This is where most conflicts starts. Our inability to integrate the different cultures properly, or understanding the bases of the different cultures, before knowing how to integrate them.
In the western culture, the man and woman are independent of their parents from 18years. Their University education is self sponsored by working part time or taking student loans. Elementary school through High school is free in most cases. So, the parents make minimal contributions to their training, and therefore have little or no expectations. In such a model, the man and his wife don't necessarily owe their parents anything, except occasional visits.

In my opinion, this cultural clashes are the major causes of the MIL - DIL issues in some families.

robosky02:
https://www.completesports.com/super-eagles-2018-attire-nominated-among-world-all-time-iconic-football-shirts/

crackkhaus:
Something is wrong with you

Hangulsaram:
Lol! Sister reason am naa.

sassysure:
I meant that with him, babe and a witness, the marriage has become official. No hidden agenda.
Coro should go please, u guys will make me say something I don't intend to