₦airaland Forum

When we were small, my dad flogged my elder brother, told him that the next time our neighbor beat him and he did not bring back my neighbor's front tooth to him, he will kill him. One hot afternoon, my brother joyfully presented a tooth he knocked out from that bully to my Dad! Case closed that day.

Zonefree:
My first year in the university, I used my head to remove one final year student two teeth for lodge. The idiot wanted to bully me because he got his friends around. I got arrested by the police...my friends called my mum.

As mumsy enter police station and behold the hefty muscular guy with plaster for mouth, she asked the officers if we fought with weapons. Officers said No, na so mumsy begin para them. I was lanky then, and the guy been get muscles full body.

All the female police officers on duty yab the guy tire that day. No one believed I was the one that injured that guy, not even the officers or my mum. My mum was so proud of me that day.

The police released me to her and she was happy to pay for the guy's medical bill.

Always fight fire with fire, don't give bullies chance to intimidate you.

People can't easily intimidate you when you look them straight into their eyes! People can't successful lie to you when you look then straight into their eyes

Regular physical exercises that pump blood to the brain can help you! Speaking from experience!

Rule 1:
When I was living in face-me-I-clap-you you have to announce your presence before you see some naked bodies that will embarrass both you and your host

Rule 2: Have You Eaten.
Got me into problem as a youth corper with a Kogi lady. You don't reject food in their house, You don' compliment food and cooking skills, above all while she was fuming, I initially rejected her food, complimented her, talked while I was eating, I washed my hands inside the empty plate, when she refused to bring water for washing hand. I sworn never to visit her again

Rule 3: Caused me a friendship.
A newly acquired friend took me to his house, as an NNPC worker, I had a idea how his house was supposed to be, but I was shocked to a 14 inches TV, old cane chairs that looked like passed down items, I voiced out my surprised, Oga threw me out of his house and stopped talking to me for a very long while.


Rule 4. We don't talk much in my family, so we always go straight to the business that brought us to your house or to our own house

Beekeeper1:
Growing up in Nigeria, there were certain things you just knew about visiting someone’s home. No one sat you down to teach you these rules; they were as natural as knowing that jollof is incomplete without some kind of meat on the side. But when I finally invited a friend who had just moved back to Nigeria to tag along on one of my Saturday visits, I quickly realized how many of these unspoken rules I had taken for granted.

Rule #1: Announce Your Presence
In Nigeria, you don’t just show up, even if you’re already at the gate. We’re all about “respect,” so before stepping inside, you either knock or call out. I always do the classic “ko ko ko, anybody home?” as I walk through the door, announcing my presence. But my friend? He waltzed right in, no knock, no call. Auntie Blessing gave him a side-eye that said a thousand things without a word. “It’s respectful to knock, even if the door’s open,” I whispered. He nodded, looking a bit confused, but lesson learned.

Rule #2: “Have You Eaten?” Means More Than You Think
In Nigeria, when you visit, the first question is never “How are you?” It’s always, “Have you eaten?” To some, it might seem like small talk, but it’s serious business. The “have you eaten?” is actually a test of humility and also a generous offer. I knew better than to say yes too quickly. Instead, I told Auntie Blessing, “Ah, I’ve had a small something, but if you have anything small, I can manage.”

My friend? He thought it was just a polite question. He said he wasn’t hungry—and he meant it. Auntie Blessing looked at him like he’d just rejected her life’s work. In Nigeria, you always eat, even if it’s just a small plate. The moral? Always leave room for “a small something.”

Rule #3: Watch Your Words About Their Home
There’s an art to commenting on someone’s home in Nigeria. You don’t go in saying, “Wow, it’s small” or “Oh, I didn’t expect this decor.” Instead, you admire whatever you see, whether it’s a new TV stand or a plastic flowerpot. I went in with a compliment ready: “Auntie, this your place is just fine, very cozy.” She beamed with pride.

But my friend? He made the rookie mistake of asking, “Oh, is this rented or owned?” I shot him a quick look, and Auntie Blessing’s polite smile turned frosty. In Nigeria, home is home, and unless someone volunteers that information, you never ask.

Rule #4: Prepare for the ‘Just Gisting’ Marathon
In Nigeria, visits are never short and sweet. Once you’re there, expect at least an hour or two of conversation, sprinkled with questions about “the family”, “work”, and “the economy”. My friend had no idea. Thirty minutes in, he glanced at his watch, looking ready to leave. Auntie Blessing caught on and asked, “Ah ah, are you in a hurry?” There’s a code here: you don’t leave quickly unless it’s an emergency or you want them to feel bad.

When she finally gave us permission to go, we had been there for over an hour, and she sent us off with packed food “for the road.” My friend, bless him, was both surprised and grateful, clearly not realizing that no one leaves a Nigerian household empty-handed.

Rule #5: Always Say “Thank You” Before You Go
As we stood up to leave, I nudged my friend and whispered, “Remember, Thank you, ma, for everything.” Even if they gave you a glass of water and nothing else, you thank them as though you’d just been treated to a five-course meal. He followed my lead, and I could see Auntie Blessing’s expression soften. A proper goodbye in Nigeria is part gratitude, part respect, and 100% necessary.

As we finally left, my friend shook his head, both amused and enlightened. “I had no idea visiting a friend could be like that.” I laughed, knowing he’d just had his first real initiation into Naija life. Visiting friends in Nigeria isn’t just a drop-in; it’s a ritual, a cultural experience that teaches you respect, gratitude, and the beauty of hospitality in our own unique way.

Shame on all of us! If you don't mention Peter Obi you won't get traffic, you won't get people to read your rubbish! Frustrated human beings! If your candidate is good enough, why sell him with the mention of Peter Obi! Ndi ala

Congratulations! First Class in Business! Come back to Nigeria, your dad has a motor park he wants you manage for emilikan!

Do you have Date Palms or Dabino Palms? I am interested

Thank You Very Much! Let me head to jiji and see if I can get them there! Thanks

bassdow:
How many do you need ?

You might get faster response going to JiJi . ng though most sellers are in Ibadan and other areas but I guess with wayBill, that shouldn't be much an issue.

But hope you know that plant well enough ? It grows very very very tall (above 70-feet) and takes time to grow also.

I am in Lagos I need young Dabino Palm Trees, who can supply me, please Dm

If not for corruption in Nigeria system, the 3 National refineries and the 25 licensed modular refineries would have longed been working before Dangote would have thought of building one with the help of the past government and Nigeria would not have being bowing to foreign powers.

She will start stealing from you!

Zonefree:
To come ask for lighter means she's a pro smoker and she can roll weed.

Don't make female friends that can tie weed. 🚩

I had one when I was living in face-me-I-slap-you. Every Saturday I was looking forward to freshly made soup and I enjoyed them for the 9 years I lived opposite their room

I am in Lagos I need young Dabino Palm Trees, who can supply me, please Dm

No be see finish be this! Why would your girlfriend's friend have the gut to harass and video your house without your permission!

My Dad doesn't complain, he would have slept on that floor graciously and thanked him very well for his assistance.



My Boss will say, never turn down the money!


I wouldn't risk my life and my child's life from Lagos to Warri and let a trifle thing like sleeping on the floor mess up our bigger goal.


The goal is to get my son into shell and Chief E is a stepping stone. Nothing would have stopped us

We4all:
It depends on what you mean by "stoop to conquer" in this context. What could the OP's dad have done differently in order to conquer?

So, why would they waste their time and resources to travel from Lagos to Warri, if they were not willing to stoop to conquer?

We4all:
The only thing I know is, there is nothing sweeter than being productive, independent and self sufficient. Considering that I have also made it far without assistance from anyone, I will continue to push and stick to that lifestyle. Sometimes, I ask myself, how much could one possibly give me that will make an impact? Even if the richest person in the world was my former classmate, if I have no reason to reach out, I won't do so because I hate asslicking.

Back to the discussion, I don't agree to the submission that your dad was arrogant. I think he had dignity which most people mistake for arrogance. Someone like me would rather starve than beg for money or ask for favors. This is because I have realized that people respect armed robbers more than beggars. I hate "see finish".

You are just like your Dad! Somebody offered you a contract job and you turned it down! Then tell me why would you and your Dad embark on more than 8 hours journey, just for you to turn down the offer? Your pride and ego is just like your Dad's. A lot of us were working and going to universities! I told my inlaw I can not support him fully in University, he had to get a full time job and study part-time for his degree. A lot of us, studies like that

Sapasenator:
Mine was worse that as a teenager, I had to go do factory work at 14 rather than ask my dad for money.

Also, I never let anyone know if passing through any challenge as I alway believed I will figure out a way to solve my problems hence people around always believe I am ok all the time so they always come to me with their problems..

There is nothing wrong in asking for help! Asking for help is far different from begging for help!

DevilsEqual:
I live by your principle too. I'd rather die than beg anyone for anything

It's not a good way to go about life, but somehow, I used to believe I could still find a way around it, even if I never asked for anyone's help

Ego will make u do unreasonable things and still make people rate u highly

Women wey marry men wey dey talk too much, how una dey cope?


Me wey be their friend don tire sef!


Na civility dey make me still dey answer their calls.


Me wey get option don tire! You wey no get option, how you dey cope?

https://bummylabackup./

Madam learn how to apologize

Jos Again! Plateau State indigenes, when you are tired of all these misfortunes, you know what to do

Few years ago, I went for an evening service at TPH and the pastor taught on Terrestrial Spirits.


And he used Jos Plateau State as one of his example of “….. While men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way.” Matthew 13:25

Since 2021 Plateau State has known no peace till date, but before then Jos was the most peaceful city in Nigeria. Most NTA Soap Operas were shot in Jos.

While the town slept the enemy creeped in.

Now 17 dead, 120 trapped in Plateau school building collapse. 4 siblings dead, when the parent heard of it, both dead of shock. A whole family cleared!

Plateau State indigenes, when you are tired of all these misfortune, you know what to do

https://bummylabackup./

Others dey leave their spouses and marriages for millionaires, billionaires, men and women hundred times better than their former spouse.




E reach your turn, you come jump from frying pan to fire!


How will you be able to make my ex jealous and remorseful for letting a good person go, when you settled for the least!


You just made a mockery of yourself! How will you be able to look your ex straight into the eyes, when your paths crossed? Shame no go let you show your face.



Relationships and marriages in Nigeria are now transactional

Apart from his wandering discoloured pri8k, what else is he bringing to the table?


Pink lips, permed hair, jerry curl hair and bleached skin guys are only good for tatata! And every tatata ends in waist pain, not in marriage.



Wetin you gain?




MONEY? You no gain!





COMFORT and LUXURIES you have being seeking for as a baby girl, you no see!





MARRIAGE? F8ck boys no dey marry! When the time comes he will tell you that you are too old for him, he wants a younger lady.








Who fine boy help? Fine face no dey pay bills! When the chips are down, you go look for Odogwu and that means hopping from one bed to another, increasing your sex mileage! No be ashawo be that! If they call you ashawo no vex.


There is no dignity in poverty! There is no dignity in suffering! You could have aimed higher!


The grass is not greener at the other side. Somebody at the other side makes a conscious decision every day to always water the grass.


Before you start feeling trapped in marriage and start listening to all your single sisters and friends, look before you leap!


Na statistics we go chop Oooo


But wetin I know! Even Nigerians choose slavery over competency.


Nobody needs to depopulate Africa, just destr8y the family


https://bummylabackup./

They only sell okpa N200 in Trans-Ekulu since last year December

Share the story with us

dawnomike:
I remember the first but I, remember the second more...

But that's very rude of you to laugh at someone's parent, even though it caused for laughter

EreluRoz:
Yes, I laughed at his father's bald head and he stopped talking to me, I couldn't stop laughing and it was a very long laughter, he picked offense and never spoke to me again till he left the country. I'm still laughing now sef 😂😂😂😂


I have a kind of heart that can't be broken

CAN YOU STILL REMEMBER YOUR 1ST HEARTBREAK?


I just met a 17 years old boy, who was served “breakfast”

I now regret laughing him to scorn, he might never open up to a stranger again! But it is funny though!


He will learn, he looks like a tough kid that has a lot of potentials, but I think romantic relationship should be off the table for him at this age. He should focus on this studies and his job, the beautiful ones are not yet born!

https://bummylabackup./2024/05/28/can-you-still-remember-your-1st-heartbreak/

Which one dey sweet pass for soup?



Which one your Igbo customers dey buy more?

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If I were the man I will move out of the compound, the woman is a monitoring spirit, the day she finds out another woman has replaced her, she will start causing problems for the man.

For me, not need to do DNA test since abandon me and the two children and she pretends we do not exist! Why complicate the children's life?

eliyke:
First is to do DNA for d two children she left behind

I knew their marriage might not last! Twice I met them at Ebeano Supermarket in lekki, the wife kept picking a lot of things he felt they already have and he kept saying something like this:

"Babe we already have this at home, why do you want to buy more?"

The wife will answer: "Babe we have the blue colour, I want the pink, the brown and white colors and other colors, we can always interchange them, please lets buy them" She pleaded and gave him a peek

She ended up pick 4-5 bedspread that night.

You could see the guy was exasperated and wanted to leave there quickly, by she kept tugging at him.

Most men hate wasting money on things they deem unnecessary