₦airaland Forum

That 2k can get you a pot of bean and plantain. Bean N600, plantain N1k for a family of 4. Or Rice and Bean N600 each, making it N1,200 and four people will eat it with joy.

But I understand your point, things are very expensive now, GOD go help us!

I am a man, today's husbands dey follow em wife plan family menu Ooooo

I don't understand!

KingDash:
You had one job..

We lost one of our security guys like that! The story goes that he met a debtor that had refused to pay him his money for a long while then, after the fruitless confrontation, in anger, he forgot to check if any car was coming, before he stepped onto the expressway and was crushed by a truck.

RIP Hanson!

Funny enough, since my boy turned 15 and started getting a lot of attention from the opposite s!x, I have begged him, to go and find his size in condoms! At 13 he was already hung and very handsome young man, and I don't want to be a hypocritical dad! Till now he is 20 he has refused to, that he is practicing abstinence till marriage, just for him to come back home in April with gonorrhea, his first sexual experience! And I had to spend my hard earned money on his treatment! He still refused to, that this time, no sex till marriage! I hope he means it!

I once asked my cousin how I survives having his mother read his whatapp status, he confessed he blocked his parents immediately he bought his phone.

Fmlao:
Papa open Facebook account, i don block am b4 he find me.

He asked me if I dey on Facebook, i said NO

I no even dey whatsapp sef

So Painful! The preaching about Hell Fire saved me from committing suicide as a teenager, I cant suffer both here on earth and in the after life.

Yesterday, I was exchanging banters with one of my childhood friends, along the line he jokingly called me “Ole” spontaneously I replied “Nwanne Ole” He busted into rib cracking laughs, “I no be your brother Oooo!” he responded, “Swear you no be my brother!” I countered him.

We had a jolly good conversation last night, even though we have not seen face to face for a year now.

Him calling me “Ole” and me responding “Nwanne Ole” brought back bitter sweet memories of my unemployment days.

Almost four years after NYSC, I went to live with an aunty, who used to call me monkey every time we are alone in the house or in the kitchen. And I did not like it and it had started affecting me mentally! I have started believing her, that I was too ugly to be gainfully employed.

This went on for months, till one day I was alone in their house, and I stumbled onto discovery channel, and that day, they were showing a monkey documentary.
https://jesus.bingo


I saw a couple of monkeys that looked like me, and I was greatly depressed, so this woman is right, I looked like these animals, this is what people see when they interview me for jobs, that’s why no one wants to employ me! Who wants to employ a monkey?

After wallowing in self-pity, I stood up to turn off the television, and I stood transfixed!

They just showed a monkey that looked like my aunty! And I was beyond shocked! I couldn’t believe my eyes! This monkey just looked like my aunty!

It took me a while to process what was going on in me!
https://jesus.bingo/aunty-monkey-aunt-monkey-auntie-monkey/?_thumbnail_id=25815

I pulled their center table closer to the telly to peruse this nursing monkey the film crew decided to concentrate on for a great deal! The more I watched, the more I saw my aunt in the monkey!

It then dawned on me! If I am a monkey, my aunty is a monkey too!

I was so excited that day! I was mentally, spiritually and emotionally emancipated! And it felt so good! I got my self confidence back.
https://jesus.bingo/aunty-monkey-aunt-monkey-auntie-monkey/?_thumbnail_id=25815

The next time she called me monkey, I respectfully replied her “Aunty monkey” She was shocked, she asked me to repeat what I just said, and I replied her “If am a monkey like you always call me, you are my blood! My aunty, that makes you a monkey too, so you are aunty monkey”

Since that day she stopped calling me monkey.

Thank You!

soke02:
thats the basic truth

Oga shut the Bleep up! You confused brat! If the man had had money to pay his daughters school fees, would he had committed suicide? He had had money to spend, would he had put up with a wife that was causing him depression!

You are not fucking married that is why you are spurring our shit!

When you are married you can come here and tell us about the relationship between a man and his woman!

Bleep off

TheGidRedpiller:
STOP LYING TO US!!

Stop making men think that they don't deserve women because they don't have external resources! THAT IS A BIG FAT LIE!!
If our wives have to be accommodating only when we have money, then it further proves that women are nothing but LIABILITIES/ACCESSORIES/UNNECESSARY LUXURY!
Then there are no difference between the lawfully wedded wives and the regular PROST!TUT£$!

If we need money to keep women, then why do they still go out there to fvvck those guys that won't spend shiit on them??
It Only Takes A Powerful Man To Keep And Withold A Woman!
STOP LYING TO US!!!

Like I keep praying for myself and keep telling other men "Pray you never loss the source of your financial supply!" If this man was financially buoyant, he would have been alive today!

Sarki we Igbos have forgiven you, but sorry we can not contribute to your fund raising, bear your cross alone! But why are you not appealing to your 1st, 2nd, and 3rd class citizens? Why the jump to the 4th class citizens? This is emotional blackmailing guy! We no dey give shi shi!

We no dey give shinshin!

Beware of fair pretty girls!

Mostly naked when at home!

I hate eating alone, now Son has gone back to school, and madam say she no do again, hunger wan kill me, food is always available, but I just hate eating alone


When I take my phone to the bathroom, forget it, na 1 hour later I go come out!


If I sleep till 10am, I am most productive, but Lagos wahala, I have to leave the house by 4 am most days

There is blessing in marriage! And if she's the right one for you, why are you afraid! If she loves you like you claim she will fight her people off from exploiting you during the marriage rites, if that is your fear. Most of my friends that married ladies that loves them, had the lowest marriage expenses, na the on wey no love you, go follow her people dey task you. As a married man you will not loose your independence when you marry, na when you marry the wrong woman, you go loose everything

Why did you ask? Schooled in Uniport, but her parents lived abroad most of their lives, they visit and come back

Hamachi:
Did she school abroad?

I have worked for a female CEO for 16 years and she's the best! None of her staff has been with her less than 8 years now

BankyGee:
Female employers dey wicked.
My first and second Job taught me that.

Mad Ooooooo

Nonexisting:
For someone with body odor, whether he bath or he no bath, na the same thing. I have a distant relative that smells even right from bathroom. Once, she asked me for xmas gift and I used the opportunity to buy her all kinds of deodorants and perfumes because I feel uncomfortable whenever she came around and she is very close to my mother.

Biko, always wear a condom!

4 years after graduation, the only job I could get was as a horticulturist, and our company handles the head office of a very big bank in Victoria Island, and I had to go there every morning to work and supervise. I saw a lot of my classmate bankers, neighbors who were, and are bankers, 4 years of hardship made me have the confidence to go to work everyday, see them greet them and smile. And I always physic myself up every morning by asking myself in the mirror "If this contract that wroth 400k monthly after salaries and sundries were yours, will you be ashamed to pack soil and manure on the Island?" And my answers had always been "No Sir!" So I will say to myself "Go out there and work as if the contract is yours" Some of those friends that laughed at me at the beginning are dead and buried now. Most of them lost their job during the banks consolidation. And the contract is worth millions of naira now.

Last year, we had a contract with Delta State Government, and I felt nobody should know me in Asaba, so I joined my men in packing soil and manure, in the evening I was very dirty, but I did not mind, thinking I will not meet anybody that knows me, Wow! In Shoprite Asaba I met my Church member when I went to eat, we greeted as men, in the evening at the busstop I met my ex, I reminded they were from Asaba, I had no strength to hide, I simply pretended I didn't know she, you should see the shock in her eyes, when I passed her and she recognized me, 3 times she walked up to me, tapping me and calling my name, I simply told her "Sorry Ma, can I help you...... No Am not XYZ. ... Can I help you again Ma?........... People can resemble people ma" Till her bus left she was looking at me with her eyes wide open. Thank god, we deleted each others phone numbers

Still rocking my gap teeth! No Shame! Though I get a lot of compliments when I was younger! I am somebody's father now, nobody sends me Though some days I hate see it, when i look in the mirror, maybe because I don chop up, my face is full of fat now, and it makes the teeth look smaller. But I no send anybody. Na money be the koko

Rubbish! You and hug transformer! Fool!

gidgiddy:
I have always said that Peter Obi is eminently qualified to be President. I have my own issues with Peter Obi but I can never deny the fact that overall, the man did well when he was Governor of my state Anambra. He is a good candidate for President. Personally, I dont think Peter Obi can win the Presidency, nobody in the North will vote for him, no matter how good a candidate he is. Being both Igbo and a Christian has ruled him out in the North.

But in the unlikely scenario that Obi wins, it will be a very bad thing for us Igbos.

If you wonder why, then think of what happened to the last Igbo man who was President of Nigeria. A military revolution resulted in General Ironsi becoming the first Nigerian to be head of state, and commander of the armed forces(before, both offices were seperate). From the day Ironsi became President, his government was sabotaged. There were some power blocs in Nigeria that could not sleep at night knowing that an Igbo man was head of state and commander in Chief. They lied against Ironsi, plotted against him, misquoted him at every opportunity, used propaganda against him, claimed that everything Ironsi did was for the benefit of Igbos, painted his administration black. They even massacred Igbos during Ironsi's regime. When the time was right, they took out Ironsi. To this day, they still lie against Ironsi and claim he abolished Regionalism introduced unitary rule, something that everyone knows Gowon did. They say this because they need to blame Igbos for Nigerias woes, yet no Igbo has been President since Ironsi, 55 years ago

Should Peter Obi become President, what happened to Ironsi will happen to him. There are some people who will not be able to sleep at night knowing that an Igbo man is in Aso Rock. Obi's government will be sabotaged from day one, he will be misquoted at every opportunity, they will unleash propaganda against him, reduce everything he does to trying to benefit Igbos, paint his administration black, and try to take him out. Obi will spend 4 years fighting forces that have entrenched themselves in all strata of government for over 50 years

The resultant effect is that his government will fail, Igbos will be blamed, ostracised and masacared. Many Igbos still dont understand the Nigeria they belong to. It is one where the power blocs dont trust an Igbo man with the Presidency, are highly suspicious of the Igbo man, and they want to see the Igbo man fail politically

A Peter Obi Presidency will be very bad for Igbos. What the Igbo nation should be talking about is independence from the failed British colonial contraption called Nigeria. It will not be a good thing for the Igbo nation, for Peter Obi or any Igbo man to be President of Nigera. If the 30,000 Igbos slaughtered after Ironsi was killed, were alive today, they would say the same

I can relate! Both my parents are in their 80s, very close, I know both of them will likely go at the same time, thats the reason why I refused to be transferred out of my Church to another Parish, I just want to stay, where help will come, just incase it happens, sooner than I expected.

Peter532:
A friend of mine called me this evening that his mother just died, I felt bad for him not because of his late parent but how he was going to bury her because he is the only child. this a guy that squat with me last month, common to afford 1 square meal he can't. he called me last week for urgent 5h.. so I Just started wondering i myself no difference from him.

and I have so many old people related to me, my wife father and mother are age. her Grand mother is 90 or more.
I still have my age father who just clicked 86 last month.
what of my mother?

this has really got me worried, God forbid something to happen.
where money go dey to finance matters like this.

so dear nairalanders has issues like this ever bothered you?

Seun
lalasticlala

Wahala Dey!

saintbillion:
Actually this is the reason in the photo below

In marriage, you will be very sick and she will not attend to you, will not follow you to hospital, will not help you buy your medication, will not help prepare something for you to eat , and she will leave the house , to come back after 1 week. May God deliver us rom wicked wives! Amen!

Maybe your veranda is the coolest part of the compound, that's why everybody likes coming there. if you don't like him standing there, you can build an enclosure with mosquitoes nets and woods. Like in the picture attached. My Neighbor and his brothers are Yoruba nudists, they have to build this, so that no one can have easy access to their front door. No need to fight a good neighbor

Rubbish! So because of a message she killed herself, that's stupidity! From the test she was sleeping with another woman's husband, what do you expect! To me this woman was murdered! Period! And Because of her wealth! If Rasidi Yekimi family family can lock him up claiming insanity, a man for that matter, how much more a female

He's own cup of tea, we are thinking of how to make more money, while some are think of how to impress the next chick

Stevyne:
well, I know some people have pink cap, but the idea of using bleaching cream is actually stupid.

He rubs bleaching creams on his body, including the tip of his preeq (He pays special attention to the smallie), he said girls love the bright red colour of the tip

Stevyne:
how person go bleach til of preeq

How you take know

Stevyne:
You lied!!!!��