₦airaland Forum

Jungle justice, at least in Nigeria, has nothing to do with a failed government, as Desola seems to think. It's one of the many ways we are still backward - we used to bury twins alive, we burn seizure patients' feet in fire, we have the OSU caste system etc I won't blame Jonathan for this one, it's one of the many areas where Africa has to come out of the darkness and into the light.

I think its human nature to want to put God into a mold defined by our circumstances, upbringing, culture, personalities.

Because so many Nigerians are poor or at least surrounded by poverty, God becomes mostly about making us rich. Because our culture is deeply rooted in occult practices, we attribute everything to spiritual influences and we rain fire and brimstone on our enemies. Because we are generally a loud people, we scream also when we talk to God. etc etc etc etc.

It's ridiculous, it's very unfortunate, but that's just the way it is.

I was talking to a friend a few minutes ago who asked me.... "what are you passionate about?"

I guess we all define passion differently.. but i feel super super strongly about God, about my family, about friendships, about being happy as a mindset rather than as a result of what i have or have achieved, about being a part of positive change, about being truly relevant.

Is it important to be passionate about any specific thing(s)? What do you define as passion? What are you passionate about?

And I am not talking about the Boko Haram type suicide

There's something that breaks my heart, makes me really want to cry whenever i see it being demonstrated. Why do Nigerians mock, rain curses, and insult people who have committed suicide or are hinting that they will do so?

For the most part, people get suicidal because they are in severe despair brought on by one disorder or the other - depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, drug abuse, etc.

I'll touch particularly on depression. Depression is not merely being sad, as many of us seem to think. It may often (not always) be brought on by an unfortunate event in a person's life. But without the right support and enlightenment, it can become so severe that the person no longer reasons rationally and truly believes that all hope is gone. Suicide victims get to a point where they actually do not see any other way out of the abyss in which they find themselves.

I agree that Africans are largely a resilient people who can keep their heads up through whatever storms may come - but people let us enlighten ourselves and start to realize suicide most often is a demonstration of an illness, which like every other illness needs treatment - whether medical, surgical or psychological.

Suicide should NEVER be an option but cursing at people with these tendencies just makes it worse, and frankly personally makes me very sad

Simply visiting the Suicide wikipedia page is a good start to getting a good grasp of this condition.

You and I may be strong, have supportive family, friends, great jobs, etc and know that there's always hope no matter what - not everybody has these things.

Bear in mind people that the drug needs to be taken daily for effect, and it costs $14,000. It doesn't make much sense to start saving toward it except:

1. You are a very well paid commercial sex worker who doesn't like to use condoms, or who is ready to pay for all the extra protection you can get

2. You have a spouse with HIV

3. You are in some other job/ situation where you have an extremely high chance of catching the virus regardless of how careful you are.

The everyday man's best bet is to keep with the traditional - abstain from risky behaviour. I think that the drug might actually come with some increase in risky behaviours sef, until people realize they can't keep up with taking it daily, or they can't afford it anymore.

It's a super fantastic step in the right direction though..... soon there will be a cure.

Removed

Policewoman: I would NEVER allow my son to marry his mate not to talk of someone older. Women age faster. Thats a fact.

I hope you raise your son to be wise, independent and MAN enough to make his own decisions. Then when he holds his ground against your frivolous reasoning, i'd like to know how you would FORCE him to do anything

Instead of suing, try a simpler approach - walk into the bank where it happened. Ask for a floor manager and explain your predicament. If they refuse to refund your money, then ask to see the branch manager. You never know, they might be nice and willing enough to compensate you. Or maybe i'm being naive, dunno

AS-AS couples also have the option of amniocentesis.... if they have the time, money, courage and conscience to go through with it.

dohyn: Firstly,let me correct this probability misconception..if u are AS and ur partner is AS,ur child can either be AA,AS or SS. This means that each pregnancy can only be one of the 3 and it's possible all the pregnancies are AA,AS or SS. There's nothing like 25% probability. U could lucky to have all ur kids AA and also, SS. I hope u get my drift. As for the AS,SC matter,it's not common..what we do have is AC,which is just like AS. I guess SC occurs when an AS marries an AC and they have a child with the SC genotype,which is just like SS but I can assure u,it's a worse type..so,if an AS marries an SC,the combinations that can result are AS,SS and SC. These means that each/all child(ren) borne can have any of the above combinations. It doesn't matter if u have 10 kids. The scenario is the same for each pregnancy and the best one can hope for is an AS. I hope I helped some

Nice! The only thing i'm not sure of is that SC is worse than SS, i believe they fare better with fewer and less severe crises.

The long and short story is that if they are chasing you from the village, the odds could play against you bad enough and you'd have 10 SS kids. Shine your eyes pipos!

Biyi1471: Supported. It's not easy to raise SS kids. I used to have one elder SS sister and a lovely younger one.. God we lost both of them to sickle cell. I noticed that most SS are always beautiful and lovely kids. It was always painful to witness their crises. My parents went through hard times trying to keep and maintain them. Anyways, we lost them.

I'm very sorry about your loss......

My dad's cousin and his wife had 4 sons, 3 SS and one AA. All the SS sons died within a few years of each other. I believe it caused a strain in their marriage, they are divorced now.

Sickle Cell Disease is a MAJOR MAJOR illness, even in the Western world where health care is advanced. Personally if i were born in this day and age as an SS kid to well educated parents, everytime i have a crisis, i will hate them o!

@ op, so in short, you were living a lie. With plenty respect, i don't really get this sort of reasoning. If i were a guy i would dump any babe who i find has been lying to me for any reason. Trust is key. And then i would get even more livid, if i then learn that her lies were because she was trying to test me! Good for you that the guy was up to no good anyway, so you didn't lose anything. But be careful with all this testing testing, abeg. There's ways to discern someone's character without resorting to lies (at least major ones, lol), me thinks it could really backfire on you.

funshybam: e be like say you no get person wey go buy you BB. Mtschewww. AMEBO

Lol, you are actually funny.

tkovie2002: ^
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I swear thats the most stupid comment so far... was there a BB BoldTouch 8 years ago? When he's 20, he'll use the available phones then. Do not deprive kids of modern Technology. I got fully into computers at 12 and my parents never restrained me at all. Now God knows what I can do

The best gift I can give a child right now is a Tech-based one. It makes us think faster and if he is the creative type, he might end up creating applications for that same phone given to him. Yes! I mean the 12 year old boy!.. Same way I started designing websites at 14 with my first "personal" computer.

Hi tkovie2002, considering this is a tech-age, i do see your point. But, you were 14 though.... 12 and 14 could mean a world of difference when it comes to responsible behavior. I'm curious though, how did you or your parents make sure that you kept up with your school performance while continuing to have unrestrained to the computer? Did you also have free rein to all the indecencies out here on the world wide web? And considering that there's a lot more on the net than when you were 14 - except you are 15 now - would you still stay go ahead and give the kid unrestrained access? Just curious...

Blackteeth: if not for internet pornograghy i would have no problems with it. But you just have to watch him/her. If you discover its causing a negative effect then you withdraw the phone.

The p*rnography thing is actually what worries me the most, especially as he's at an age where hormones are starting to show face. I'll share my thoughts with his mum, she's a good parent, she and her hubby will figure it out from there. Thanks!

Oh wow, thanks for the responses everyone. It seems many people think it's way too early for a kid his age to have a smart phone. I had wondered if i was being too rigid in my thinking considering that i'm not a parent. I think i might talk to my cousin about it one more time, and then drop the subject. I doubt they'd take the phone away from him at this point though, but at least i hope they'd figure out ways to strictly monitor how he uses it... how easy that would be, i don't know, since they are not with him 24 hours

Hello all,

I know recently there was a topic about whether children should have phones. I'd like to take it a notch higher and ask this - if a parent decides to give their child a phone, is it helpful/ harmful to give them a smart phone?

My older cousin, who i'm very close to, has a 12 year old son (in JS 2) who was recently given his dad's old repaired blackberry phone. I'm not very comfortable with this because i generally think that as much as possible, kids should not be handed 'luxuries' but should be be raised to grow up and work for them. He is not allowed to take the phone to school, which is good. But i also worry about what he does on the phone and what sort of BBM conversations he has with his contacts (kids his age, from school) when his parents are not home. Also, having an active BB means you have internet access to browse, right? So more than likely, he has free access to the internet.

I have tried to subtly tell my cousin that i don't subscribe to the idea but i want to be careful to not come across as trying to tell her how to raise her kid. Am i making too much of a deal out of this? If i'm not, would you suggest that i discuss this more with my cousin? How?

(For the most part, the boy is well behaved and just because of the school he goes to, i would imagine that his friends are decent kids also).

Your comments would be very much appreciated.

Thanks!

Gudintent: me 2!

How very ironic. Not only will you survive the New World order, you'll probably lead the pack

desari: Nairalanders,

I am a career woman in my late 20's living in the U.S. It has been almost impossible for me to meet good Nigerian men much less Nigerian men at my financial level. As you all know the U.S is very big; i generally don't hang out with Nigerians..not that i don't want to, i just don't know where and how to go about meeting up with my people. When i do go out to naija lounges or clubs in my area, all i find are little kids playing around or 419ers( which i would rather remain single than have anything to do with them). I have tried the church avenue, but i am catholic, and catholic churches in the U.S are much different from naija catholic churches. I live in NYC, so anyone that can give me pointers on where to meet eligible professional Naija men would be great.

I have been very blessed and fortunate in my chosen career, and i would want a partner that can pull his own weight financially in a relationship. Though i have accepted that i would most likely do much better than a potential partner, i can never respect a man that would find it hard to give me money to cook food in the house and take care of some bills, instead of assuming i will take care of it since i make much more. Akatas and white men chase me all day, but i would rather settle down with a Nigerian man(preferably yoruba) i am half yoruba and half something else I grew up in naija, so i speak yoruba and can cook naija food well well.

Let me add that i am well mannered and come from a great family. Guys and girls, if you have single brothers who are financially stable, between 29 and 35 years old looking to settle down, please IM me. Thanks!

I'm curious, why must you marry a Nigerian?

MOBBDEEP: Please, do not start making war at me. I'm self-righteous enough to know that what I did was wrong.
There are times that wrongs can be done to right some situations.
But I do know one thing, it is easy for us to start citing Law of Ethics & Morality when we are not the ones at receiving end nor when we've not suffered the illness. I know what it feels like to bed-wet in its entirety.
After all, you do not expect him to get the drugs except there is a sharp practice or he still sees a doc.
Despite giving it good consideration & being sure I didn't act out of impulsiveness nor out of sheer arrogant display of ignorance all in the name of knowledge as Burito claimed, I accept I did wrong & I wish I could takeout the post.
I just wanted to help a burdened mind.
Thanks

*Stretches hand for a peace handshake*

MOBBDEEP: * For 1, I stand to be corrected, I remembered telling him 1st to see a shrink.
* It is a well known fact that this is one of the few cases under-reported cases, because of extreme shame & loss of self-esteem, where a sufferer will only consult trusted friend or hearsays which almost doesn't work & is sometimes harmful.
Citing that it is TCA, as if it is more harmful or lethal than AcetylSalicylate/PCM/Castor oil is what suprised me.
This is one of the few cases where the controversial maxim ' Morals/ethics is not always beneficial/constructive ' hold.
Thanks

Are you for real about trying to justify your actions Okay let's go there:
1. Have you heard of serotonin syndrome? Do you know what other drugs the guy might be on?
2. I bet you know about the side effects of withdrawing TCA treatment abruptly - you are setting up the guy for that obviously, by prescribing a 1 month treatment without taper.

I could go on and on...

What is wrong is wrong. Please do not try to justify HARMFUL medical behaviour.

ACM10: Too bad for you. Prescription by correspondence amount to quackery. You are no better than village patent medicine dealer who masquerades as a doctor

I didn't even see your response before. I fear the guy o!!!

MOBBDEEP: @ All, I'm so sorry for seeing the thread/topic late.
It's too bad the Docs in the house have been obviously too busy to attend to him.
@OP, I'm deeply moved for your friend because that issue is a real highly embarrassing psychosocial condition.
It seemed as if he's exhibiting what we call REGRESSION.
I got some questions for him :
*When did it start?
*Is there any pattern or periodicity to the misnomer?
*Can he share what his dreams are like?
*In day-time, is he able to hold urine even when he feels the urge to void?
*Does he find himself leaking some urine when he tenses/raises the intra-abdominopelvic pressure ( carrying heavy weight, farting, cheery laughter, etc ) ?
*Has he been screened for Diabetes ?
*How frequent does he urinate during the day or when awake?
*Is he passing through a major stressful condition e.g owing a huge debt, fearing someone is after his life?
*How was his toilet training skills when young?, Who trained him? & how early was he able to achieve the toilet-skills?
*If if started bedwetting from Pre-School & Toddler age, did they use to abuse/deride or ridicule him with his younger siblings etc

There are too many questions to be asked.
Try to see a Psychiatrist.
Meanwhile, you can take this drug provided you are not up to 45&above in age nor are you having any form of Cardiac / Heart disease ( Longstanding Hypertension inclusive ) :
Tab Imipramine 75mg 6pm daily for 1 month.
Then take a chart of the number of occurrences.
NB : This drug may cause Delayed Ejaculation, Hypersomnia (Too much Sleep ), Anorgasmia ( Dysphoric Orgasm ), Dry mouth, tongue & buccal mucosa etc
Let me know how you feel.
Still see a Shrink.

If you are not a quack, you are sure acting like one. How can you come and be prescribing a Tricyclic antidepressant just like that A drug that is NOT over the counter becomes a drug over Nairaland If you are a doctor, you know this is absolutely wrong. So instead of displaying knowledge, do the right thing and refer him to PHYSICALLY see a doctor, instead of prescribing medicine to him over the internet.

Prediction: The Ipad will get smaller and smaller until voila! it becomes the Iphone/ Ipod touch. Steve Job's boys just be recycling tings

la furia: is law a science and tech course? If d uni has a faculty of law in a sch named science and tech, dats fyn but nt nrml. Just like sayin one did bizadmin in FUT.

Massachusetts Institute of TECHNOLOGY has a business school, nothing abnormal about such.

Wait, so they are searching purses and pockets for bombs?? *scratches head* e go tey before they find one o.

I agree, Davidylan needs an (online) personality transplant but judging by looks ALONE, the boy is fiiiiiinnnnnnneeee

fellis: Which davidylan are referring to? Is it that insultive arrogant prick that gets off on being an arsehol[i]e[/i]? Abi did another davidylan join Nairaland?

"Londo" is cute but a bit too pretty for me. Davidylan is the ish!

rokiatu: Alright I hear you just vote for Londo and then u can continue talking.

He's wearing a girl's jacket, carrying a girl's purse, carrying emptying gucci bags and covering his face with dem goggles.

rokiatu: Why? Just vote for the person you wanna vote for.

Vote Londo sweetheart.

Please take that guy in the red jacket off the list, enough said. Meanwhile, these are some really good looking guys..... so impressed

And i should add.... if you go by the pocket money method, regulate it and drive home the discipline by giving him a tiny tad more when he used the previous amounts wisely and giving him less when he doesnt spend it well. All in all, it shouldnt be much money at all... just a small amount to get a message across, after all your point is not to make him rich or fend for himself at this point.