₦airaland Forum

Why should I meet them?

condralbede:
Shut your mouth up....You thought does bankers r making it easy on d customers toothe customer care hardly starts On time.blve me some branch don't even verifies 50 ppl a day!

Which yeye 50 people? The branch of my bank does verification for only 20 people per day. So you keep going everyday until you are lucky to get in between numbers 1-20. I went there today and before the guy finished telling me about first 20 people I don already collect new account opening form. I no fit join queue faint abeg.

Missed the deadline? No problem.
Simply open a new bank account. No need to queue up.

MEILYN:
I feel like dying right now.

I use to complain of a peppery sensation in my anus after defecating and blood body guarding my faeces during defecation. These I thought were normal so I didn't bother about these problems.

I thought the pains I feel after defecating were severe pains until yesterday. I remember some days back that I ate enough Garri and Egusi soup. I kept on eating because the food was so delicious.

I went to the toilet yesterday and I spent hours trying to pass out something from my anus but I couldn't. I tried to force it out with all my strength but I had no luck. I wore rubber gloves, inserted my hands into my anus and I was able to remove some very strong faeces. I tried to force the remaining stubborn stool out but I had no luck. The pains almost killed me, so I gave up and I went on with my daily activities with stool ready to come out still in my stomach. I took about five Oranges yesterday but it hasn't helped at all. Stool Softners aren't working because the stool is ready to come out.

The problem here is that, my anus is in flames right now. I can't even force the stool out, I can't pressure my anus because the anal fissure is making it impossible for me to do that. I might die of pains if I try to push. I just sit in the toilet without trying to do anything. I sit for hours with no clue on what to do. I have tried applying vasline and kernel oil but it won't just come out. I can't force it out, the Anal fissure makes it a nightmare.

Please I need help on what to do.

Cc: lalasticlala

Eyah. I had this exact problem early this year. I feel your pain 100 percent. After trying lots of stuff, I finally found an easy way out ( I felt like dancing on the streets at that moment). Now onto the solution.
1. Go to a pharmacy and ask them for Lydocaine Gel. Should be around 350-500.
2. Ask them for a good enema. There's one you can insert (shape of a bullet). It softens the already hardened stool in your rectum. Remember what you have is an impaction.
3. Ask them for other drugs for the condition.

Now before you sleep at night, insert the enema (You'll wake up in about 2 hours wanting to stool).
10 minutes before you go to the loo, insert the Lydocaine gel into your rectum and squeeze in a generous amount. After the 10 minutes, go and handle your biz in the loo. It will be absolutely painless.

Now that the hard stool is out of the way, start taking oranges regularly in order to have soft stools while the fissure heals. Keep using the Gel before you want to go to the loo in order not to feel pain.
To help your fissure heal faster, take regular sitz baths. (3 times daily if you can).
How do you do that? Get a bath or big washing bowl. Fill it with warm water, sprinkle a good amount of salt and pour in Dettol. Sit on the bath or bowl with the water touching your exposed anus for about 30 minutes every time you do it. You'll heal in a pretty much short time.

Choi! Hand d pain me to type all this sha. Don't worry, it will pass and you'll be back to your normal jolly-good self again.

Lydocaine is a topical anastethic(sic) which absolutely takes away the pain. It saved my life. Your brother in pain, Caesaraba. God bless.

9jatatafo:
What about the cost of paying the pilot that will fly it for four years?

The presidential fleet already has helicopters which have pilots. It's not like the man is going to buy a new helicopter and all that. I like the zeal people now have to try and checkmate public office holders on spending. It's just that on this one, a lot of people seem not to know (or want to know) what a helipad is. Some think it's an airport. E no cost like that bros.

Simitrendy:
David Mark didn't do anything in his Constituency talkless of his state in the whole Benue State is there a private university mtcheew and now NL is still referring him as the Senate President

What an absurd allegation D Mark didn't do anything for his constituency? Have you cared to make enquiries? Some of you just open up your mouths and spill falsehood. Yes he didn't go about sharing money to certain individuals, however he did a lot. Ask when you don't know.

Hahahahahaha, anyone who expects that number 3 in real life ehn?! Lwkmd. By the time your collect 18 blows at once, na afterlife tinz straight.

bukatyne:
Thanks.

My husband is blessed and So am I

Twale Madam! I wish those ladies who've been vibrating on this thread learn from you. God bless you.

Thank God you stopped the transfer. Na free clubbing money you for just provide some con-men. Dude has probably updated "TGIF" on his TL while waiting for the money to land.

akaahs:
I was having dsame believe not to work for any body even d government but i ended in a government parastatal. With dat i 'll never give up until i set up my company. God help me

I like your spirit. Once you achieve that @ the end of the day, that's all that matters. I have a similar plan too although already have a small biz. Wish u good luck.

ManTiger:
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Na your kind dey quick yab Buhari for saying West Germany! Olodo.

Ode! What she wrote is grammatically correct. See how u just jejelly fall ur hand by urself.

yemitezoe:
@ Ambode. Has called be made for documentation?

Not yet o. Only FCC calling a few people.

Pls accept my condolence @ Chima. May his soul rest in peace .Amen.

Non issue. How many of the so-called APC politicians are actually "change-agents?" A lot of them were in the PDP just 'last night' and are just using the APC reign to achieve their political goals. How a lot of people are suddenly blind to this obvious fact is just beyond reason.

CrazyScientist:
Na so one coke fool 419 guy said I won 750, 000 but I have to send 3000 recharge card for processing!

I said okay, ill send it in 5mins, when I no be fool!

Came back after eating only to see 9 MISSED CALLS!!! from coke promo man.

I called back, he queried me that I was wasting time, I said he should get biro and pen... then he said I should proceed...

My Reply: USE THE #750, 000 and buy card

Lwkmd! See how those around me are frantically asking me ``What is happening?`` I wan die with laugh.

can we swap? I have a golf 3 and how much will I add?

kullozone:
una nor get sense
person wan give out em own allowance,whether na for publicity or not atleast it'll still serve the purpose which he intends to use it for.

If em use the money go buy car now begin flaunt am for twitter,na una go still wan tear am apart.what do you fvcktards want?

Honestly it`s tiring. Na wetin!

Crown01:
This guy just dey show off. He will still get the money elsewhere. Infact , in multiple folds. Why don't he sale his solar powered car to help the poor if he truly wants to help the poor.

Next you`d ask him to go to the rice mill and lift bags of rice for the poor. Why don`t you ask his colleagues to tow the same line and subsequently implement the much needed pay-cut Nigerians have been asking for? Haba na wetin?!

Person no do, una complain. Now him don listen to people criticisms and decide to share the money to those who need it the most, you still de here dy vibrate about random axis. He should be encouraged in order to shame his colleagues into doing same and it will be the start of good things in the NASS.

If he has a some time between now and the interview, he can under go a crash course and then give it a try. The worst that could happpen is that he might get rejected. Still, he'll have a new experience. Nothing to lose.