₦airaland Forum

Exponental: Nice 1.......if fashola gbab u, u go land ur village sap sap

my bros even Fashola knows THESE rules n he obeys it.

25 Rules of driving in Lagos
1. When in doubt, accelerate!

2. Be prepared to ram into anything stopping you that is wearing uniform in Lagos (police,traffic warden, FRSC, Kai brigade, fire brigade, VIO, LASTMA, LAMATA, LASWA)

3.If you get caught by any chance, do not allow them to enter your car, if they happen to get in do not drive from that spot (veer off traffic & settle promply), and if they don’t agree, pretend that you are calling your uncle who is in the army (believe me it always works), never follow them to any sort of office except you are ready to pay ten times more than what was demanded.

4. Never give police or VIO your original particulars (whether expired or up to date).

5. Danfo drivers believe they are immortal. Never yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.

6. Okada riders have a pact with suicide, avoid them like a plaque.

7. Avoid BRT buses in all ramifications, they have no brakes.

8. Taxi cabs (oko asewo) should always have the right of way, all of them have been driving in Lagos for 25 years.

9. Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

10. The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. Survival of the fittest you may say!

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. In Lagos, potholes (and sometimes car-holes) are put in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and shock absorbers,( I saw one man fishing in one of the potholes last week).

12. There is no such thing as “one-way” in Lagos. Expect traffic from any direction at all times. The okada riders are the experts in this area.

13. Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive bodywork, except you want to spend your whole Saturday at the panel beater’s place.

14. Morning rush-hours are equivalent to Lagos grand prix (who gets to the junction first).

15. There is no such thing as a short-cut during rush-hour traffic in Lagos. Everybody might be inclined to take that ’short-cut’.

16. When asking for directions, always ask at least three people. Lagosians always claim to know every inch of the city – even areas they’ve never been to.

17. Use extreme caution when pulling into service lanes. Service lanes are not for breaking down the traffic, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.

18. Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Lagos drivers, who are not used to them.

19. Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Lagos drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are making obscene gestures to them. This could be very bad for you in Lagos.

20. Hazard lights (popularly called “double pointer”) is not, (as commonly supposed) used to indicate a hazard. It is a warning to you that he is a bonafide Lagos driver, he’s headed ’straight’ and as such, will not stop under any circumstance. Take him extremely seriously especially if he backs it up with a continuous blast from his “horn”.

21. At any given time, do not stand on the zebra crossing expecting traffic to yield to you, or else you will have to explain to the on coming traffic whether you look like a zebra.

22. Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.

23. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.

24. In Lagos every spot is a potential bus stop. FRSC and LASTMA know that too. It is in their constitution.

25. Above all, keep moving. Even with a flat tyre!!!

HORNING IN LAGOS
Horn’ when someone executes a dangerous maneouvre.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to move off.

‘Horn’ when you’re about to overtake.

‘Horn’ when someone is about to overtake you.

‘Horn’ when turning into a road.

‘Horn’ when emerging from a road.

‘Horn’ back when someone horns at you. It’s considered good etiquette.

‘Horn’ when you hear a chorus of horns. Don’t worry if you don’t know what all the ‘horning’ is about.

‘Horn’ when you’re happy.

‘Horn’ to the beat when you’re playing music in your car.

Good luck, as you expeditiously navigate through Lagos and hustle and bustle!

Hi,remember me?
I've still nt gotten any laptop.
So on a STRICTLY BUSINESS NOTE,wots d price of ur HP PAVILION G4 n G5 and HP PROBOOK 4520s?

Hi,remember me?
I've still nt gotten any laptop.
So on a STRICTLY BUSINESS NOTE,wots d price of ur HP PAVILION G4 n G5 and HP PROBOOK 4520s?

bman2003: can u send me ur number?

Hia is my number:....

People pls I really need someone to teach me.
Still waiting 4someone who will teach me.
Thanks.

Hi people,plz am a student n am interested in getting someone who can teach me web development,am doing my IT in a company hia in lagos so d person wud be teaching me Saturdays n if possible on Sundays too.
NB person shud be staying around Apapa or Berger so distance wud nt be a problem.
Interested people shud contact me on:lordoddyson@yahoo.com
Thanks.

bman2003: because you'll see the receipt and do you stay in lag?(so when I come in I'll give u right there at the airport), the price i gave u was converted from dollars to naira, if dats okay with u

bros wot I can afford is 80k for HP G6.
Yes I stay in lagos but dat I wud prefer we Meet anywhere else apart 4rm d airport.

bman2003: hey, how urgent do you need it, I traveled for a break, I'll be back in 2 weeks (I'll buy it from dubai) is dat ok?

please its really urgent,and hw do I really know its 4rm Dubai...
And wot will be the cost in Naira for HP PAVILION G6 and G4.

bman2003: ok, but I'll get back to you tomorrow

ok. I'll be waiting for ur positive reply.

bman2003: can u pay 75k and 85k?

bros I can't afford dat amount. I'm willing to pay 70k for G4 or 80k for G6. Will u sale?

bman2003: I'll give u d g4 for 80k and g6 for 88k

bros I can afford 70k for G4 n 80k for G6.
Which of them are U willing to giving me?

bman2003: No, its more than that. its a new one i am selling

ok. Wots ur last price 4both d G6 n G4?

bman2003: Which one for 70k?

D HP G6.

bman2003: Ok, wat price r u asking?

I av 70k cash, if u agree on dis price I'll pay U on Monday.

bman2003: G4 is 85860 while 93960 is for G6

Bros dats d highest price I av eva had 4those systems.
Can't u bring down ur price?

bman2003: 85,860 and 93,960

Plz specify which laptop has which price.

bman2003: G4 is $530, G6 is $580. u can inbox me b2much200329@yahoo.com

bros plz am in lagos,Nigeria and I need d price Naira plz.

initialize: We are not allowed to advertise here that's the reason I didn't give full details. Follow the link below and you'll even see pictures

https://www.nairaland.com/978405/sony-vaio-laptop-intel-corei7

I can take 75k last. I guess that's ok

Bros I hope dis system is a new one?
And plz why not take d 70k cos dats all I can afford now.

initialize: I have a sony vaio that can meet ur programing requirement @ a reasonable price of 85k

Sony viao with intel core i7 processor
500GB hard disk
4gig RAM
Nvidia 1gb dedicated graphics
Bluray dvd drive
Backlit keyboard with number pad
16.4" full 1080p HD screen
Wireless
Bluetooth
Webcam
HDMI
Card reader
Etc

My number is in my signature below

Bros am interested in dis ur sony laptop, but which of d sony's VAIO Is it cos there are other sony VAIO Laptops in d market... And wil u sell d system @70k. Dats d much I can afford.

Hi,people. Am seriously trying to buy laptop and I dn't want to be cheated by all these boys in Computer village.
Pls guys jst tell me d current price of HP PAVILION G4 n HP PAVILION G6.
And then d price of American used HP DV6.
Thaks Y'all.

Abeg ooh,u people just dey hia dey QUOTE laptops, make una dey follow put d price so the OP go knw price of the laptop u guys are suggesting for him.

Plz people still waiting for ur comments on which one to buy as I need 2make a decision very FAST

Hi y'all. I jst want 2know if U guys are still browsing after d So much talked abt DNSCHANGER virus dat was attacking computers,they said 4rm July 9th dat all systems affected by d virus wil be DOWN.
So Plz drop ur comment whether u r browsing or not.
As for me,am still browsing wit my system ooh!

Plz guys am really in need of a new laptop nw n after a lot of research i've narrowed it down to dis two laptops:HP DV6 n HP G6.
Am really confused on which one 2go for.
Please people help Me make a choice n plz giv a reason 4ur choice,also wots d price of d two laptops?
NB:If u dn't lik d two laptops jst suggest a better one but it shud av a 15inch screen n atleast 2GB RAM.
Thanks.

Plz give me a link where I can download d FIREWORKS.
Thanks.

doncigalo: @callydon Spikes_C has said it all, basically you design the entire site in a graphic editing tool, it actually looks like like the real thing,the only difference is that you cant click on anything.

Bros pls dn't get me wrong. m not disputing wot he said am only surprised dat I av nt heard abt it b4.and I asked if its d same with DREAMWEAVER. If its nt d same where can i get dis graphic editing tool.
Thanks

enquirydon: 61,000

is it a new one? am finally interested in dis deal.

doncigalo: @callydon First of all you need to walk before you can run. DO NOT, I repeat do not jump into HTML and CSS (these are the core languages that you need for designing web sites or web apps). Learn about the concept of wireframes or design concepts. What this entails is actually designing the website in a graphic editing tool such as Indesign or Fireworks and then once you're comfortable with your design you can start using HTML and CSS to start building . So in essence a wireframe is a blueprint which you use for designing and developing web sites/apps.

Another benefit of using wireframes is that you can show your clients as a proof of concept, and any changes that need to be made can easily be made before you even start the development phase.

Please do not make the mistake that most self styled Nigerian web/app designers make, which is jumping straight into the coding part without using a wireframe, it shows in their end product as they always produce low quality work.

bros abeg clarify more on dis cos dis is d 1st time am hearing abt dis WIREFRAME of a thing. Is it d same thing as DREAMWEAVER?
Plz clarify more. Thanks.

Javanian: What if you are caught?...All the same you can use any proxy site like http://www.uswebproxy.com or http://www.daveproxy.co.uk enter your site in the address bar provided...Hope this helps...

bros av tried these sites but they still show facebook in mobile view.

Plz people help me out. Am in a company dat has internet connection but d problem is dat there I.T expert has blocked some sites like FACEBOOK,NAIRALAND,CNN,GOAL.COM n other sites there reason being dat they dn't want their staff 2b doing other things wen they shud be working.
PLZ SOMEONE SHUD HELP ME ON HW TO BYPASS DIS FIREWALL SO I CAN ACCESS THESE SITES.
Thanks.
NB: I've used sneakme.net to bypass d firewall but d facebook opens in d mobile view. Am looking for a way to open open facebook normally.
Thanks.

And wots d price of d CQ57 n CQ56