₦airaland Forum

Oh busygal,
Thanks so much for this reply. I'm so relieved am not making mistake. I sure do agree with you, am definintely not going to give him sex, but will give kisses and a little touch now and again. ( I hope that is ok?)

More replies on how to go about this will be appreciated.

Dear Nairalanders,
I'm in a deep shit here and I need you to help me out of this! Please.

I met this guy sometime ago and I thot he was a big joke, but with time, I've fallen totally in love with him.

I didn't want this relationship because he had a relationship and I had one too. I decided to play along but somewhere along the line, I totally lost it. Now, am desperately in love with this guy and I have to get him to love me and not just play games with me.

I think I have some advantages over the other girl but she has the advantage of dating him for close to one year now,

Now, I can't stay a minute without thinking of this guy. It's totally destroying my relationship and am falling in love with him every new day.
I wonder when he spends time with his girl because he spends a lot of time with me now.

He just proposed we take a 1 day holiday to somewhere nice and cozy. I've accepted the invitation with the intention of showering him him love, spoiling him crazy and make him hunger for me so much. Then, if he insists on sex, I'm going to tell I can't share him with any woman. (That's true and I'm sort of a virgin too.)
If he wants a full blown relationship, he must decide between me and his girl. Yet, I don't want to put pressure on him and drive him away.

Now my questions are: I'm I doing the right thing?  How do I actually make him fall in love with me?

Please before you criticize me, remember, I didn't encourage this relationship from the beginning. I told him I didn't want it but he was so persistent that he ended up winning me over.

Good and candid openions will be welcome.

Take the risk and tell her.
It's either yes or no.
Lagbaja say:

'Na my right to ask oh, weather you go gree oh, Na your right'

If he's that overly shy, then, he aren't good enough.
Aen't goin' bout toasting no guy cos he's shy. I shouldn't be doing his job for him!

Do people actually enjoy talking about this virginity thing?
Look different plp have different reasons for remaining virgins, so, it's not right to generalize and say 'virgins are not opportuned'.

I'll definitely always pass over all this virginity talk.

Single right?
I'm not single at all. It's just that I'm growing cold feet cos it's time make some really serious decision and I keep wondering if he actually posses all it takes.
Maybe it will pass and I won't have to run away! _{Ever seen the run away bride?}

Yes! I like this topic.
It was this really hot guy, we were in a gym and he was wearing shorts. Boy! weren't his legs beautiful!
I couldn't take my eyes off them. Good thing, i've got nice legs too and he was admiring mine. Then, I heard his voice and I totally triped! It was the sweetest voice I ever had!
We became friends after about 3 more gym days but we couldn't really date. I was older than him and I couldn't risk falling in love with him. He thot there was no big deal in age but Baby, if you're realistic, you know it hardly ever works, so, I wakad.

_{I still think of him uptil now sha}

rockiedink:
@candies
for the record, i aint no trouble maker. you left your statement open-ended see:Next time when you don't want people to conclude your unfinished statements for you, finish 'em yo'self, aight?

And I still want to know, why are you undecided and confused? he aint what you want?

Very easy, but gist for another time.
He's a cool, sweet and caring guy but that's all not all it takes right?

Who knows, anything can happen.

Welcome Mayo!

Accepted but I hope the word 'harsy' you used does not translate to something else?

I guess I concur.
If that is an apology, accepted.
I apologise too. Maybe I was a little too harsh on you.

No, you weren't trying to call me to order. You insulted me.
Besides, who gave you the right to call people to order? in your own words:

No matter how negative the point may be, do not insult the person as long as the person has not insulted anyone. Cheers!

. . . But I refuse to insult you.

It's a free world buddy, let it be just that.

NO, there are no side effects of a lady being a virgin at 28.
The only problem I see here is that if a lady does not have a baby or two after a particular age, maybe around 32 and above, the tendency for her to develop fibroid to a dangerous level is very high.
This does not apply to all ladies though.

As for dating younger guys, I'm not for it. It works out for a few but most times, it's like a game.

Did you write this?

The only thing I hate in Nairaland.  Someone will make his or her point - Few people will attack the person directly.  Why not attack his or her point and stop calling the person names?  This does not show maturity in anyway .  It seems some have tipped a few people here, waiting to attack their points probably because of their past contributions.  Is this not keeping malice?  We need to grow up and not just taller.  I hope we are not enemies in this forum.  No matter how negative the point may be, do not insult the person as long as the person has not insulted anyone.  Cheers!

And the nonsence you just wrote?

Guess your brain was working the day you wrote it but The last time I checked, it had gone to sleep.
Do you crystal clear see you contradict yourself?

Masters indeed.

I shake my head in pity for you. You have finally downgraded the educational system and the graduates of Nigerian schools.

You are a disgrace to the professors of our universities.

Little wonder, employers prefer to employ foreign universities graduates even without masters to the graduates of this great country with several masters degrees, simply because rotten eggs like you spoil the names of our schools.

Education has been made mockery of in this country by the likes of you indeed.

By the way, do you read your write ups before you post? Guess not, go back and read what you just wrote, sounds like the words of a looser to me.

This is why people think those of us from Edo aren't just it.

I'm not so happy to be associated with you right now.
Woman Slapper!

@ Zigam,
You are obviously a jobless man. (that's for you)
Do you really call yourself intelligent?
I left the internet because I had to concentrate on work and I came back and you're still here speaking your needlessly obscure language and calling me names!
And you say you're 30? Boy, some people just add years to their ages without actually growing up. It's really a shame.
Do you expect me to stoop as low as you to call you names, you've lost the game man, only totally unintelligent and irrational human being go about calling other people names when they are clearly lost.
You think you've got 'superior advice' That is very ridiculous. I doubt if you really went to school to read philosophy or you just like the name of the course and claim it just the way you've been quoting other people's saying here without having any personal say of yours _{which unfortunately does not have anything to do with the issues on ground}.
Did you write this

Dumb girl!

Clealy, you're totally unschooled.

You've said nothing but gibberish here.
What you've said has no relationship with the issue on ground and you have only betrayed just how grossly unschooled you are.
My ideas are not baseless, they are based on the the poster's cry out: which is the natural thing to do and not your assuptions.
And you call my friends tauts? you make me laugh bro, indeed, you need to go back to school to finish up what you never really started.
30 year old philosopher indeed, you shame our schools and the greate philosophers of old.

Did you say 'all you did was to shout back at her?'
Boy, you're contradicting yourself!
look at this

lmmediatly l returd to her face with a thurder clap with my two hands before l even remember she was a lady

You wrote that, didn't you?
That speaks for itself.

@ fawwyb,
Oh my Gosh! It sounds like someone has been terribly hurt here
sorry Dear, but love is real sweet, it's not meant for only the weak, it's one of the greated gifts God gave to man. It's one of the most beautiful things that can ever happen to any one.
I love to love so much. It's simply heavenly.

@ whitelexi,
This is the best decription of that feeling i ever had! Yes, that was the feeling!

You're so hot!

@ Niceuzor,
know what? that rockiedink is a trouble maker? or are you him?

@ rockiedink,
Is your middle name 'trouble maker?' lol

@ Zigam,
Your 'grammar' does not need maturity to be understood. Your ideas are also not so plausible, you kind of sound myopic and unschooled.

If you think a guy should base such a serious decision on some petty jealousies and flimsy excuses from a so called friend, then, you must have missed a very large part of your 30 years.

For your information, some guys brag about the number of girls they have slept with and this could just be one of such cases. Afterall, the girl is bold enough to tell her guy to find out by himself.

You sound like one of those guys who goes through school and never allowed school to go through them.

@ Ozigbo,
Wonderful quote.

I was young and it was the sweetest feeling I ever had.
I couldn't sleep, i kept thinking about it all night and all day.
I remember every word we spoke even until now.
The most beautiful part of the relationship is that the love was so real that we later parted in respect. It was built on pure respect, we never ever kissed or made love until we finally parted.
But I still remember that time with a lot  nostalgic feelings.

You are totally shameless.
Little wonder nobody has replied to this post. You should hide your head in shame.

You returned a lady's slap with one and you think it's so cool to come in here and spit out that shit. You should be arrested. Little wonder she doesn't respect you, you don't deserve any kind of respect.

I'll never slap my guy and I know he'll never do that to me but if for any reason I get mad enough to do that, he sure will have better and more civilized ways to deal with me.
Agbaya!

There's been 2.
The first, when I was about 17. Lasted 4 years without even a kiss
The second right now, but totally confused! Don't even know if I really want it.

@ Zigam,
Am surprise at 30 you've never met guys that

'openly say he slept with a girl'

.

Being an academic philosopher doesn't make you so wise or intelligent afterall.

Look, if I turn down a guy because I think he's not good enough and my buddy picks him up, then, how does that affect me? It's his piece of shit and if I start making trouble out of a business that doens't really concerns me, then, I'll be a jerk like the poster's friend.

Grow up Mr. 30 year-old-man, your mates have left you behind! Way way behind.

zigam:
You think every guy can openly say he slept with a girl?  What ego is there to boost?  I have never one day told any person that I slept with any girl despite they often see me with my girl friends.  Besides, none of my friends can also say such a thing because I know they always like to claim good guys which they are not.  Even when they sleep with any girl(s), they will still come and tell you that they are not interested to sleep with her.  I have not seen anything there that will warrant any guy to degrade himself to the extent of telling people any girl you sleep with.  Does it not sound foolish to say such a thing? 

Mr Poster, you are now making a hell of noise - why not ask the girl what was going on between her and your friend.  It seems you never cared to find out.  I believe, finding out from her will help you a lot.  Human beings can be tricky.

@ zigam,
How old are you? You're clearly a juvenile. You definitely don't know what is happening here.
I'll advice you to stay away from romance or just read, learn and pass by.
What you've said is so damn childish!

@ Spoilt,
Thanks for your contribution, you're very right.

Walk away

You may think you're dating her but she's clearly not dating you.
You may call her just to let her know that you've woken up and walking away, but from what? you guys never really dated.