₦airaland Forum

I've found ma love o! Please can HABIBAT please stand up and show herself by lifting her tallest finger for the world to see?  For others, please keep shooting.  Soon and very soon, your 'other rib' wud walk up to u, just like mine did.    

Nokia:
Celemel wot's up?

I dey o! I just dey for naija. Incidentally, I use you as my fone. Thanks NOKIA.

@carmelily
Thanks girl. Wassup? Lets talk intellectually at YIM on celestinemelikpa as username. Send me a hola anytime. U'd always be welcome with open arms. Cheers.

'spell-check' and 'grammar-check' are different in meaning. Insofar as its is excusable to make typographical msitakes as a result of the use of d keyboard, I opine that 'mistakes' made in tensing and grammar are unpardonable, anywhere, everywhere. They are not keyboard induced. Rather, such mistakes reflect the mind and capacity of the 'speaker'! Nigeria boasts of a lot of unemployed graduates but in all honesty, we have very few 'employable' graduates roaming the streets. A greater % of the so-called 'unemployed graduates' are completely 'unemployable' because they have certificates that they mostly, cannot defend. Thats the reason why all of the organizations in nigeria today resort to so-called Aptitude Tests to recruit. In my memory, I know that time there was, when Nigerian graduates had jobs at their beck and call. Then, 'sorting' and 'upgrading of marks' were unimaginable abberations. Today, the story is different because we feel, there are short-cuts to everything in life. This is a false supposition that can never take us anywhere. I have to be honest; I am yet to come accross any Nigerian graduate, who is worth his onions, that stays in the labour market for too long without employmnet. This is the challenge of our time, and the earlier we wake upto the reality, the better for us and generations to come.

Ashiwaju would b good raw-material for consolidated nigerian girishi (especially if enough pepper is applied on his mouth part area) and dried in the open sun at sokoto. U no dey fear?  I'll cut that ur yeye lips.  Rotten man like u.  

Ashiwaju (or whateva balderdash is ur name), y on earth do u think am a spammer? U dey look 4 love online abi? See ur coconut head like Bola Tinubu.

I am giving u :owaka (x1,000,000)

U dey craze!u no fit respect your eldrs. No wonder u open ur rotten mouth so wide to vomit absolute rubbish here. Take your time o, lest I send u to the US list of d most wanted in Baghdad! Yeye man.

pls i need a match.  Calabar is too beautiful an environment 2 live in, alone.  

If you can tolerate a cyber worm, pls apply in person.  A lot of strings are 'attachable' though.

Here is A SAMPLE of the application letter:
*********************
Dear Celemel,
I am very happy to write you these few words of mine.  How is your present condition of health, which is very paramount to me?  I hope it is doxology.  I hope too that you are swimming in the ocean of happinness.  Do remember that you are the apple of my eyes, the only cockroach in my cupboard.  You are the only mosquito in my net.  I can jump from mount everest because of you.  In fact, I want to swim through Atlantic Ocean, to meet your love for me, etc etc.
*********************
Applicants are advised to complete the letter and deliver them by hand to my address:

Celemel
c/o Al Haqsa Brigade
2 Gaza Strip, Palestine

Goodluck contestants.

I woke up this morning to see tens of people plating flowers and grasses on the strectch of the two sides of my street. The feeling has been awesomely breathtaking. Head or tail, CALABAR is the most wonderful and down to earth spot in this country. No doubta at all about that.

Those who haven't visited, cannot in anyway imagine the level of civility, peace and tranquility. North, south, east and west, Calabar is the best.

Does anyone exist out there who has attended Chevron Skills Test before?  Let him/her please share his experience with me.  My younger sibling has been successful in the stage-one test of Chevron, and has been subsequently invited for the second test, code-name Skills Test. Much thanks.

;d :d ;d :d ;d

ishmael:
Celemel or whats that your name again; why u dey correct people grammer? Are u a British? See the one wey u throw now people don search dictionary tire them no fit see the meaning. Dont condemn people because of what they key in with their fingers from the keyboard; getting and understanding the message is what matters most. More over no body is above making mistakes.

Ishmael, we r in the forum to learn and share ideas. Knowledge is power. Ok? I only tried to offer my candid advice to people searching for jobs. I was never out to 'condemn', else it won't be advice anymore. I've been unemployed in my life before and so, I know what it feels like to be a job hunter. It is heartening to find a job, and am pleased whenever someone is blessed. Mark you, we should all pull our individual and collective knowledge into this forum, so that we add value to ourselves and assist one another. 'Are you a british' is complete grammatical massacre, mind you. You should have said "Are you a british citizen?" OR 'Are you British?'. Simple.

A wise man accepts wise counsel, but a fool disagrees and argues. I believe, Ishmael would stop talking as if he is a fool. I want to believe, he isn't!

Celemel, your "Whomsoever", its really been tough trying to figure it out in the dictionary(oxford). I much believe the watch word is Simplicity and Clearity in details.

whomsoever is SBE (standard british english)

extra time to follow
1-1 at full time

Match over. Germany 2 Sweden 0. Germany plays quarter final in Berlin, on 30th June 2006.  Well done Germany.  The referee wasn't too good today.  Poboski scored 2 goals.  Lets wait to see the klinsman boys.

Some of the grammar we post online can turn off even the most generous employer. If someone has HND in Accounting, and is chartered by ICAN, I suppose the person should have passed the basic elementary Use of English 1 & 2. We need to improve on our levels of use of english on this forum. The first impression of anyone reading any post/thread here of whomsoever sent the post matters a great deal coz this builds a virtual image of the individual in the mind of the reader. You have the power to either win over an admirer, or repel your reader, at 'first sight'. This advice is very important especially to job seekers.

This Sweden is crab. Germany is on its way 2 victory. 15 mins to go, Podoski is replaced. Seems the result won't b better 4 Sweden

Rottwil, when was heaven privatized?  And how much did u pay for it?  Who made u a judge over others (including me)?  Have you been appointed into the bench as a Chief Judge in heaven?  Clear first the specks in your eyes, before you look to clear that in your neighbours'.  If you are a christian (as u proudly brag) how come you talk evil against your brother?  How come you wish me hell?  Did you not read that portion in your Bible which recommends that you should pray for those who hate you and ask for forgiveness for them?  Does your utterances in this forum depict you as a true christian? What would be the ticket to heaven, is it how many times u say u are born again? Or would u be judge based on your living the Christ life?  I assume the latter is the case.  If you like, condemn all the other people who may not tow your narrow-mindedness, it doesn't deviate from the TRUTH.  God cannot be mocked.  Every action of yours on earth shall be counted for or against you.  That is a universal rule, known and believed even by etheists.  The |Bible says, seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and every other thing shall be added unto you.  Have you sought the kingdom of God and His righteousness?  Are u without sin?  Can you truly say you are without one?

It is a typical Nigerian way of life to look for easy escape routes.  I tell you, if you don't follow christ and do all his iwords, you won't make heaven, no matter how much Christ you profess or shout.  You must be very meek and humble in your believe, and use it to convince me that if I cross-over to what u belief, I would be the better for it.   But from my hort stint with you now, I can conclude that u are nothing more than a fanatic, an Osama Bin Laden within the christian domain and who knows, you seem capable of flying fry-pans into the National Mosque or ride Okada into the Okija shrine.   You 4get that everybody has freedom of worship, and that there was a thief who was executed with Christ, who is in heaven with him, whereas the high priests of the synagogues who were supposed to have known Christ and believed in Abraham, are supposedly in hell for their  roles in killing the SON of God.  

please go back and read your Bible, don't display your ignorance on this forum.

Whats wrong in chosing which belief one shd hold?  The whole of mankind is populated by zenophobics who always foolishly believe that whatever they r into is the best.  Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, USA, Palestine, Israel and other global trouble-spots a shameful testimony to the irratioanlity of man towards believe.  We need and seek peace, more than believe.  Whether you are jew, gentile, hindu, christian, moslem, buddhist, rasta, free-willer, sacristian, krishna, bhudist and all, it doesn't matter.  All religions prech peace and love.  The problem is how to practicalize what we preach, and not which believe is better.

Rott, what makes u feel better than every other sinner?  Will u make heaven?  If Christ should return today, would u in all honesty say that he would chose and recognize u as his own?  These are hard questions that should prick your mind, not whether I am in Brotherhood or not.  I suppose, where I worship is personal and I don't assume its the most sanctimonious chapel in the world that I should brag about.  We need more God than religion!

Rott,
Whats ur idea of 'true living God'?  God mean so many things to so many people.  Whatever you chose to worship is your God, and of course, God had been from the beginning, is now, and would ever be world without end.  The more we profess God! God!! God,  the more degenerate we get in life.  Lets face our fellow brothers, love them, assist them, xtend helping hands to them and stop evil against one another.  I think that would take care of most of our problems, and make God less busy on matters that can be handled by us.  I hate it when we waste our energies to start to find the most 'suitable' form of God than doing what in our conscience, is right and proper.  For your information, Olumba Olumba does not play God, or consider himself as God.  He preaches love, christ and brotherhood (virtues that Christ himself stood for) and I suppose if you spare some time to read or listen to him, u'd build a better reserve of knowledge about him and stop showing off ignorance on the forum.  Religion is personal and shd b so treated. I rest my case.

or is it habibat? pardon d typo

habitat, u r

2good,
You sound like a typical nigerian. Money is all things? I doubt. Job satisfaction counts more than the filthy lure of lucre. It's all right to think success in terms of money, but beyond money, you need a job that can bring out the best in you. Thats my point. Else, you turn to the Chris Uba's, Arthur Nzeribe's and even Emeka Offor's of this world, who rolick in money, but have little substance to justify their oppulence. Do you think these guys are among the happiest men on earth? I honestly doubt it!

[email]cucchi[/email]
Did my advice make sense to u?

Celemel: Chairman, Board of Trustees. (Tony Anenih would be green with envy)

Please help me call Donald Duke to go for it, else I give him a red card

Or, I mobilize a one-trillion-man-march to his Diamond Hill Office Calabar to sniff him out.

Montana,
Your story sounds quite nice but somewhat unbelievable. I would think that you are in a trap. I strongly feel someone is trying to play a fast one on you. I'd suggest you take some precautionary measures not to fall into a 'virtual' relationship that may turn out a hoax later, or get conned by any faceless person. In as much as I support your freedom to chose and love whomsoever, I'd advice that you be sure, very sure of any guy online before you get deeply involved. My opinion is based strictly on the following:[list]
[li]Diane Devin is not acommon name in Nigeria[/li]
[li]It's uncommon for a woman to be so much in love with a man to the extent of sending thugs after him in Nigeria[li][list]
I wud suggest you look for a way of confirming his story. You can send his local phone number to anyone here in the forum you can trust, who can then call him and establish who and what he is really doing in nigeria. If he stays around Lagos, there are a couple of members there, who can go visit him for you. That way, we could assist you get a truer picture. Don't be carried away by the number of persons who speak to you on phone, claiming to be his relations and friends, etc. It might be a set up after all. I'm not however ruling out the possibility of his being real and true but am only telling you to be careful and alert.

Nigerians are very nice people. There are a few bad ones amongst us though. Above all, be prayerful.

Congrats. I hope you would as well be willing to assist other members here get a 'juicy' job like yours. Enough reasons to that dear God. Once more, congratulations

sEUN, AM SURPRISED BY YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARDS nIGERIA. I had used to think that you are one hec of a Nigerian, desirous to make a change and lead the way. Quite frankly, I feel very sad and disappointed that a young mind such as u, can be opposed to proper funding for our University system, considering the very chaotic nature the system has deteriorated into. Tony Blair, the serving Prime Minister of Britain was asked by news hounds, to name three outstanding things he would be willing to pursue if elected Prime Minister, way back. He said 1, Education. 2. Education and 3. More education! This is Britain, of all places, and analysts say this statement was the single most powerful and compelling reason why Tony Blair's Labour Party swept the polls. U may recall that the UK is by every inch, a developed territory all-round. Now compare that to nigeria, where 70% of the population is illiterate. I bet you, 80% of Nigeria's problem would be solved if 80% of the population is literate. And if you listen to great minds like Wole Soyinka, Gani Fawehinmi & co, they had said way back that the educational system in Nigeria should be declared a disaster area, the system shut down for at least 5 years for complete reengineering and surgical operation. This radical solution though impracticable, was a pointer to the seriousness that these great compatroits attach to education. If you have ever taken a stroll to any of the dormitories of any of the nation's higher institutions in the recent past, am sure the stench that u would have felt, oozing out of those pigstays would have compelled you to think twice before standing up against increased funding for education. The UNESCO recommends a minimum of 25% of the annual budget of countries to be reserved for education. In Nigeria, that sector get about 3% and sometimes less. Don't you feel this is a disaster? Talk of privatization and I want to ask, how many of today's so-called leaders ever paid school fees or attended private schools when they were young? I have statistics to show that a greater majority of them, including OBJ went to school on scholarship up to Sandhurst!

You see, every society gets what it deserves. A society that pays lip service to education, promotes mediocrity against excellence, lives on false hopes, refuses to learn from past mistakes, ignores the children and youth, believes in the lure of lucre, pretends as if nothing is wrong among others, would always reap the fruits of street children, hostage-takers, area boys, dysfunctional unemployment, increased crime wave, emergence of hired killers, arsonists, child-traffickers, drug abusers, oil-pipeline bunkerers, MEND militants, OPC militants etc.

An educated mind is a liberated mind. Donald Duke is the polished gentleman that we see today because he was exposed to the best of educational rudimentation, in an elite school deviod of excessive strike actions and stechy dormitories. He knows his onions and so, has the best chance of breaking Nigeria away from the vicious cycle of slowpoke senile leaders.

For those who say they haven't heard Donald Duke speak, I want to add that they have missed a great deal. One can only compare his power of oratory in English, command of the language, flair and vocal presence to that of few recent world leaders like Bill Clinton. He delivers most of his speeches extempore and has a great depth of knowledge on any matter he sets to speak on. I have said before, Donald Duke would be one major step forward for Nigeria, if he is elected President come 2007. I see no alternative anywhere.

Am into my profession.  You must follow your dreams else u end up unhappy.  Life is not an event.  Its a process.

Am into my profession. You must follow your dreams else u end upunhappy. Life is not an event. Its a process.

It is well with my soul, > Horatio G. Spafford & Philip P. Bliss (1871)

You'd love the song if u know d story behind it.

Nightrider, tell us what your own governor, or anyone else has done.  Which salary was mortgaged?  And how come no salary is owed?  I work in a civil-service organization here in Calabar.  No one has been owed a dime.  That u are no more in Calabar is not in doubt.  And that the town is a University town isn't in doubt as well.  But do u know that every town must have a unique landmark that stands it out?  Which wud u prefer?  A town that has no educational institution or one that has 2 universities?  Come on, lets talk like reasonable people.  Give credit to whom it is due.  If u give Duke all ur thumbs down, what of Odili, Attah, Alamiesigha and Igbinedion?  What is their comparative take-home from the fed gov and what have they to show?  Do u think that in the present world, a govt wouldd stoop to give people on d streets food hand-outs?  The essence of governance is to provide basic infrastructure such as roads, water and electricity.  The individual them finds the means to assist himself grow, using these things.  That, duke has done.  

From your tone, its like u handled a job that u xpected tons of profit from, for the state gov, which did not materialize as u thought.  You are completely biased in ur analysis coz if u check the poll result up, over 94% of the people cannot b wrong.  You have d right to ur say, but d majority in any democracy always has its way.  I wud fight to defend ur right to speak ur mind, even when it is apparent that you are far from d truth, and I can never ever agree with u on this.

Duke has done better than any other past or present governor in Nigeria.  His record can only b comparable to Lateef Jakande in Lagos (2nd republic) given the lean resources at his disposal.  Duke is very good.  Thats a fact that can't be distorted by anyone today, or tomorrow.

celemel,

strabag left calabar because of a debt cross river state couldn't pay. why they eventually left Nigeria is their business, but thats why they left calabar.


Strabag took the Cross River state government to court. economic growth in calabar came as a result of Nigeria 99. Not donald duke. Do you realize that it has taken almost 3 years to dualize ndidem isang iso rd. Thats because there is no competent construction company.

mention one thing that Donald has done that has brought economic growth. except his xmas festival which i mentioned earlier.
the pineapple project did not work, at the port water was to shallow for ships to berths, when he tried to make calabar a free port.

Tell me one booming business in calabar as a result of Donald dukes reforms. Obudu cattle ranch has no major economic impact on calabar, it attracts tourists to the ranch. The northern Local governments in Cross River have been largely ignored thats why they hate him.

Mirage, channelview, le chateau, pinnacle hotels are as aresult of nigeria 99. so don't be bedazzled by good looks, great speech and xmas partying.
ciivil servants are still owed salaries. and to make it worse he has mortgaged federal government allocation to cross river state due to loan he took for tinapa.

if tinapa doesn't work, there will be a huge crisis. Don't get me wrong i believe he has vision, but delivering on the vision is my issue.

Niterider it seems u don't know calabar. We have the following coys working on the ground presently: Julius Berger (at Tinapa), Arab Contractors (Dualization of Tinapa-Calabar Road and adjoining streets in the Municipality), Gitto Construzion (Calabar South and State Housing Roads), Lemna (Ndidem Iso Road Dualization and street lighting), Escore, etc. These are big time coys, who work een for d federal govt. Hotels are not owned by government. In fact. Hotelliers recently bought over the Metropolitan Hotel which was hitherto the only remaining govt Hotel. I consult in a crs govt agency and I know that salaries are not owed any civil servant.

The focus of the gov is on tourism, hence the annual xmas festival which has attracted people from around d world to Cross River State. This brings enormous value-added to the common okadaman, market-woman. etc. Economists know what tourism can do in an economy and most economies in the world are exploiting their tourism potentialities to woo as many people as possible to go visiting.

Calabar is the only town in Nigeria today, where clean, treated, sparkling potable water is available in every home round the clock! Its been like that since March 2004! Those who know can testify. Calabar is the only town, apart from Abuja where new frontiers are being broken into. Love him or hate him, Donald Duke is the best. I come from Akwa Ibom and I tell you, I hate to drive my car out of Calabar to AKS. Reason being that there are no roads over there.

Finally, let it be placed on record that Tinapa is a PPP (check the meaning in my earlier post). It is financed by a consortium of multinational organizations including Banks, Breweries, Foreign Investors and of course the CRS govt, who is the chief facilitator. The first mobilization fee of N25billion to Julius Berger was dranw on a single UBA cheque. Tony Elumelu himself handed the cheque. Tinapa had since been floated in the Nigerian and South African Stock exchanges and the shares are presently worth over N1000 each. It must be bourne in mnd that no Bank in Nigeria, would ever put money in a venture it knows, would fail. Lets give credit to whom it is due.

Donald Duke, carry go jooo!