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Travel / Re: NAMA Ibadan Airport Bans Telemundo by celemel(m): 10:43pm On Apr 04, 2016
They should simply add parental lock to the stations. #Chikena
Politics / Re: Akpabio's Home Town One Of The Most Beautiful Place In Nigeria Pix by celemel(m): 8:52pm On Mar 31, 2016
Whoever posted this unnecessary verbiage does not know Akwa Ibom. This is fairy-tale from a paid e-rat to whitewash and cloak the stench from Akpabio's itchy cadaver. The man Akpabio despoiled my homeland, squandered trillions of Naira windfall on phantom projects that mostly exist in still pictures and propaganda spewing minds like this. And for the information of these pictures are that of sections of Uyo, (not Ukana where Akpabio hails from). The first photo is that of the roundabout at Dominic Utuk Avenue by Wellington Bassey Way (seat of the government house, Uyo). The second is the water fountain at Nsikak Eduok Avenue by Oron Road. The rest are aerial shots of the state capital.

It is true that Akpabio built some roads in the state (at extremely embarrassingly inflated costs) and built some monuments, including the so-called e-library, Ibom Tropicana (whatever that means), Godswill Akpabio International Stadium, etc. It is also true that the amount of oil windfall money he squandered could turn Akwa Ibom into a Dubai, three times over. Go figure.

1 Like

Education / Re: UNICAL Produces 12 First Class As 7,222 Graduate by celemel(m): 2:48pm On Mar 13, 2016
Nice. Very articulate and constructive writeup. However, you seem to make us believe that the lesser the number of first class degrees the better the academic standard or what? is unical better than Harvard and other good universities in the world that produce an average of 50-100 first class graduates every year? is academic standard all about being unduly strict insensitive. Does low class of degree make things better for the graduates of unical and their lecturers as compared to other schools? what is your point? unical is my alma mata, tell me something...

Hector, do you feel your class of degree is less than what you deserved? What is the ratio of first class degrees to the total number of graduates out of "Harvard and other good universities" per session? Juxtapose that with Babcock for instance. Or Unical. So long as you call it a standard, then the institution must enforce what they think is right. In the long run, it is in the best interest of the student. I have been in an interview panel where a 2.1 graduate of Madonna was unable to write an error-free Application for Employment, or an essay on "My First day at Work". Graduating from Unical is tough. That is their standard. No apologies about it.
Education / Re: UNICAL Produces 12 First Class As 7,222 Graduate by celemel(m): 10:25am On Mar 13, 2016
I am a malabite, and proudly so. I graduated from UNICAL with a 2.1 degree. I have never felt I deserved anything better. In my set, there were only 2 first class graduates. In my entire Department which was established in 1994, we have only produced one first class graduate till this day. In the days when education added value to people and excellence was defined by hard work, genius by extra-hard work and success by what you know, first class degree was very hard to come by. In those days, graduates were respected and it was near-impossible for any human to dream of scoring a perfect cgpa of 5.0!

Between then and now, so much has changed. Corruption has completely eaten up the fabric of our entire society, including the hallowed ivory towers. Little wonder then that a student of Psychology in UNILAG could score 5.0/5.0 as his cumulative grape points average. When I heard it the first time, I shuddered in disbelief. I know that the guy is very brilliant. Do not get me wrong. But scoring 5.0/5.0 is stuff for geniuses and super-humans. 5.0/5.0 means that he is better than even a Professor of Psychology because, in character and learning, he is the best that can possibly exist among human kind.

The advent of the first private University in Nigeria (Igbinedion, Okada) opened the flood gates of First Class degrees. Then Madonna. Then Babcock. Then others. Private Universities started competing among themselves on who can churn out the greatest number of First Class degrees. Thus, it became common for 20% of graduates of one University to bag the First Class honors in one year. And when those so-called first class graduates move over to the world of work, their emptiness speaks as loud as the size of their worthless degrees. Their aptitude do not usually match the pedigree of their certificates.

It was this mismatch between class of degrees held by graduates and their aptitude that birthed the adoption of Aptitude Tests for screening prospective applicants for employment in Nigeria. First by oil majors, then other private firms followed. It was later adopted by the Federal Government of Nigeria. Before then, graduates went through just one test (oral interview) before employment.

My Alma Mater (UNICAL) refused to join the bandwagon of indiscriminate award of First Class degrees (like pure water) over the years. It is true that their conservative tenacity sometimes put our graduates at disadvantage in the labor market. More so, as they have to compete with their peers who brandish phony first-class degrees from other schools for the few available vacancies, even as many organizations have put a moratorium on employment of graduates with 2.2 and below.

I am however proud that Unical has refused to lower her standards till today. We that passed through the crucible of learning in the great Malabor Republik can stand our own anywhere on earth. We excel and would continue to do.

Congratulations to the graduates of 2016.

2 Likes

Politics / President Buhari's Speech To Ministers-designate At The Retreat Today: Punchy! by celemel(m): 9:41pm On Nov 05, 2015
OPENING REMARKS BY PRESIDENT MUHAMMADU BUHARI AT THE PRESIDENTIAL RETREAT WITH HONOURABLE MINISTERS-DESIGNATE,STATE HOUSE CONFERENCE HALL,
NOVEMBER 5, 2015
PROTOCOLS
It is with great pleasure that I address you today, my Ministers-designate, at this Retreat in preparation for your swearing–in as the Cabinet that will run this Administration. We must count ourselves privileged to have been chosen among millions of our compatriots at this historic time to be the instruments that will deliver the change we have promised.
2. Let me congratulate you for your success at the various levels of screening that culminated in your confirmation by the Senate.
I would like to reiterate the point I made at my inauguration about the uniqueness of this moment for our country and for us. Shakespeare’s words ring true for us as they did when he first wrote them centuries ago.
‘There is a tide in the affairs of men
Which taken at the flood leads on to fortune;
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.’
3. The work of restoration and renewal is urgent and immense. The expectations of Nigerians are high. Our determination to succeed and change the fortunes of our country must be equal to the challenge.
4. I have invited you to join me in this urgent mission for our country. I am convinced that in accepting this invitation you are also equally determined to take part in this patriotic undertaking.
5. This Retreat, therefore, marks your first official contact with the machinery of Government, of which you will soon be an integral part. It is important that you are fully acquainted with the direction and priorities of this Government so that we can all move together as a team.
6. My election as President of this country was hinged on my promise to tackle corruption, insecurity and revive the economy.
7. We have already taken deliberate measures to plug leakages of government revenue and resources. You all know the steps we have taken to tackle Boko Haram. We have degraded them and in desperation, they are resorting to attacks on soft targets, killing innocent people. Diversification of the economy away from oil will be a major focus of this government. We will intervene in mining and agriculture and upgrade the country’s physical and social infrastructure, which will broaden our revenue base and significantly improve the level of employment, especially among the youth. Our economic focus will be policies that will ensure inclusive growth and we will count our achievements based on the number of Nigerians we move out of poverty.
8. The objective of this retreat is clearly reflected in the choice of topics which you will be dealing with during the sessions. The need for observing the rule of law is being emphasized to ensure that impunity is removed from government conduct.
9. You are coming on board the ship of governance at an interesting time. So much has been said about the state of our economy. It is expected that we make the running of Government at all levels as lean as possible, avoid waste and conserve resources. As Ministers, you must be the vehicle that will administer the change.
10. Our main task is to turn our manifesto promises to practice and results. Over the next two days I expect you to have a better understanding of the context in which we have taken the challenge of serving our country, as well as the strategies we have adopted to tackle them. I would also expect you to be even more determined to work as a team, and to live up to the high standards of probity and integrity which Nigerians expect of us.
11. Before I close, let me remind you that clear and effective communication at all levels is vital in modern management. You must keep in touch with your fellow ministers and share information, so that the conduct of government will be more efficient. In addition, all communication and appointments from you to the Presidency should be routed through the Office of the Chief of Staff as is normal in this Presidential System.
I wish you useful deliberations.
President Muhammadu Buhari

1 Like

Travel / Re: Deadly Accident At Maitama Junction In Abuja Nigeria (photos) by celemel(m): 10:38pm On Nov 04, 2015
I was at the scene (an eye-witness). Info is not factually completely correct as narrated by OP. Below is what I saw.

1. The accident happened along Kubwa Express, (on the expressway) opposite Aso Delight Bakery, close to Minister's Hill, NOT Maitama Junction
2. The nearest junction (on that side of the expresswa) is NICON junction, about a kilometer away
3. The cause was someone who tried to cross the expressway by foot (ignoring the footbridge at Gishiri junction, like we Nigerians do always). 4. A red mercedes c200 car at top speed suddenly saw the deranged man, swerved (to avoid killing him) and applied full brakes. The car skidded off the road, somersaulted and smashed roof-down in the gutter separating the expressway from the service lane.
4. Another car (old Toyota Carina II) rammed into the Benz from behind, also trying to dodge.
5. Two occupants of the Benz (husband and wife I suppose) were rescued alive with injuries and evacuated by NEMA ambulance to Maitama General Hospital
6. The second car's driver (sole occupant) was not injured.
7. The deranged man was not injured too.
The accident was not fatal or deadly, but was a very SERIOUS accident which held down traffic for some hours.
8. Over-speeding on the expressway is a very relative term, difficult to ascertain. Expressways are designed for speed. The reason it is called express.
Education / Re: See The N40 Egg Soup broke CRUTECH Students cook To Survive by celemel(m): 5:59am On Sep 30, 2015
All those bashing that meal ain't seen nada in life! I am a malabite to my bones. Back in time at Malabor Republik (that is the "action" name of UNICAL for you the uninitiated) we ate this "soup" to make our grades. We soaked our feet in cold water to stay all-night to read. The standards were extremely high. First Class degrees were tough to get. In a session, there used to be 1 or 2 and rarely, 3 first-class students in the entire school. I studied hard and got my grades and have gone on to become a successful professional in my own right. The meal in question inspired me to dream big and reach for the stars.

Today, MADONNA alone can churn out 300 first class graduates in a graduating population of 500! Same for BOWEN and REDEEMER. Davido graduated with 2.1 from Babcock, even when he was the only student in his Department and spent more time on the runway than the library. I have encountered first-class graduates who cannot write error-free letters of application for employment. I rep UNICAL. I am looking forward to eating this egg-soup someday again. That period was my best on earth!

1 Like

Politics / Re: Photos As The CGC Of Customs Hammed Resumes Duty Officially Today by celemel(m): 4:37pm On Sep 10, 2015
Corruption. That canker-worm has burrowed a comfortable home in the main fabric of the Nigerian Customs Service. You feel it everywhere you turn. It stares you in the face. It is so present; so visceral, so real. It stands next to you. It is by your side. It is everywhere. It is a way of life. It is the blood of the agency. It is all that the service represents. I used to think that the Nigeria Police Force is deep in the art, until my recent experience unraveled the stench that oozes from the bowels of this modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah.
It all started in April this year, when a relation of mine decided to import a used car from the United States. He contacted me, an “omo Eko”, to be his “ears and eyes” to get the vehicle cleared from Tin Can Island Port through a clearing and forwarding agent. I quickly contacted an agent, upon recommendation by another friend. He “shocked” me by saying that clearing a used car from Tin Can Island Port is akin to passing the proverbial camel through the needle’s eye. He estimated that I may spend as much as the cost of the car in the port before I can lay hands on it. I thought it was a joke.
I handed the Bill of Lading to him to start processing. He reported back the next day that the Customs demanded for N0.5 million before they can “value” the car, else I would have to pay more than N 7,000,000.00 to clear! I was alarmed and I resisted.
After 2 weeks of back and forth, I decided to visit the port myself. I hitched a SeaCoaster boat ride across the Lagos Lagoon and in 5 minutes, I was face-to-face with barefaced corruption. Impunity beyond belief. I was tossed around like a yoyo, until I finally got to the office of one Mr. Kolo Baba Jiiyah, the PA to the Controller for Tin Can Port, Mrs. Talatu. His office is tucked in the inner recesses of the Customs compound in Tin Can. Seated on a desk by his corner is a full-size framed photograph of Talatu, an obviously overfed bulky woman, struggling between a bulging tummy and the demands of her “salute” posture, standing on an epitaph that read “African Customs Officer of the Year 2013”. The drapes that formed the backdrop obviously depicted the colors of Ghana, where the "award" was handed. This much was confirmed by the next statement: “award given in Accra, Ghana blablabla…”. While I scanned the office, Mr. Kolo was busy on the phone, negotiating with someone on the other side about “money for madam” and the other stakeholders, and the one that must go to Abuja. The phone call dragged on and on, until another customs lady came in to toss a bulging envelope to Kolo. He dropped the call, took a look and the envelope and asked how much. The woman replied 3M. He smiled, opened his steel cabinet and tossed it in. He said the amount was less than they negotiated and the customs woman replied that the man said he ran out of cash completely!And I waited.
It went past 1 hour after I arrived when he spoke to me. His tone was commanding. I should get out of his office and look for money to clear my car. He referred me to “valuation” - a unit in the agency, across the road where arbitrary values are placed on imported whares. I got there sharply. It is a reprehensible sight of commotion, confusion, chaos and disorganization. Hundreds of rowdy men and women loiter around the vicinity, wheeling and dealing. Most of them, from the Eastern side of our dear country. Money was changing hands in quick succession. People were literally standing on their heads to scramble for valuation papers. I sauntered into the Valuation Officer's dingy office, clutching unto my car papers. He momentarily looked at me, and requested that I wait outside. After about an hour, I intruded into his office space aain and demanded that I be attended to. The valuation man referred me back to Kolo with a caveat that only Kolo is responsible for cars that were made from 2014 upwards. That was how the day ended.
Another two weeks after, the agent came with a paper stating that customs insisted I must send N 4 million and the corresponding N.05 million for officers. In frustration, I sent the money. The agent went to get the car but brought a Skye Bank Teller that read N3,200,000.00 paid in favor of the Nigeria Customs Service! I instantly knew that I had been swindled. And I would not take it. The car did not come out either. So, I returned to Tin Can Island. Whodunit?
I connected with my agent again and demanded that he shows me the man that he handed over half a million Naira to! He took me to Kolo. Kolo again? It crossed my mind that I actually complained to Kolo in my earlier visit that someone in the Customs Service, was demanding for money to clear my car. I expected that he would “do something” about it. I never knew that he was the actual culprit! I sensed that something grander, deeper and more odoriferous was in that place. Something sinister yet familiar. I decided to dig deeper.
My agent told me that paying money to Kolo and indeed, his “Oga Madam” is a way of life. That the money is shared around, and that a share must be sent to Abuja for the Controller-General. He said that I was lucky to be billed only half a million.
I confronted Kolo about the sleaze. He told me to rather focus on my car, than think about how much I spent! Few hours after, I was told that the rates for clearing cars have been adjusted by the new government of President Buhari; that my car cannot come out again.
In astonishment, I went to Oga Madam. She told me to go look for another N2.8 million Naira to clear the car; that the code that was used to make my earlier payment to customs in Skye Bank was no longer valid since customs had upgraded the system! She was very audacious. Very commanding. Very haughty. Very in-charge. There was something fundamentally not ok with that woman. I continued to dig!
I was told that she is an “untouchable” within the customs system. I was told the even the Controller-General is afraid of Mrs. Talatu. I was told that her roots penetrate very deep; that she was planted by IBB and that everybody in the system, including the CGC is afraid of Talatu. She draws her power from the forces of darkness that have held this country to its knees since 1960. She is the law. She determines what you pay for what import.

I had to cry to Berekete Family Radio Programme in Love FM - Abuja; originate petitions to “ogas at the top”, etc. for the car to be released with a very huge bil for demurrage. I learnt my lessons and have lived with the trauma unto this day.
Nigeria Customs Service stinks to high heavens. This is the reason I applaud President Buhari for appointing a no-nonsense Colonel Ali into the Customs Service. He needs to use a very big broom to sweep the service very fast. Too many extremely corrupt fat cats to weed out. Too many entrenched interests. Too many vested interests. Too many decades of decay. My experience with the Customs completely destroyed my faith in the ability of our country to ever get better. I hope Ali proves me wrong.

1 Like

Education / Re: Re Unical Raping Dean A Cry For Help! by celemel(m): 4:01pm On Sep 09, 2015
I graduated from UNICAL. Story is pure blackmail and hatchet job. The detailing gives the accuser away.

1 Like

Politics / Re: Akwa Ibom Lawmakers Threaten Lawsuit Against DSS by celemel(m): 8:06pm On Sep 08, 2015
yeneka atangiko or ado copy n paste?

Da, ku'nyene nfinna. Ami nde amanisong ajen annang. ufan ade ikutte kut nkpo kanga. Iwuo ala afiop anye ke a'kpobot ami. Ami udoko. Bet se mbre si'ba k'isong. Lol.

I am proudly AkwaIbom in flesh and blood. Akpabio is a bloodthirsty scam. He is meeting is waterloo. Watch as the drama unfolds. He shall run to the river, but the river would reject him. He shall run to the sea. The sea is already angry. He shall run to the sky, but the sky would be too hot. He had murdered sleep and shall sleep no more!
Politics / Re: Akwa Ibom Lawmakers Threaten Lawsuit Against DSS by celemel(m): 8:04pm On Sep 07, 2015
@Slimfit1

Mr please make sure you send your story to police headquarters please I believe your story.

The security agencies have the story. He knows they do. And he knows that the game is up. He never believed that a day like this would come.
Politics / Re: Akwa Ibom Lawmakers Threaten Lawsuit Against DSS by celemel(m): 7:22pm On Sep 07, 2015
Godswill Akpabio and his band of rogues used the same DSS and the Police to hunt me and my family down like common criminals from April 11, 2015 in my village because they perceived then that I could possibly vote against their party - the PDP. While his thugs, led by Chrysanthus George (who has now been rewarded with the post of Chairman of my LGA - Essien Udim), Nse Ntuen (who he has selected to represent my LGA in the house of Assembly) coordinated the wanton thuggery and attempted murder on I and my family, the Police provided cover and intelligence. My brother was shot and stabbed in the head. Our cars were vandalized. My cousin was stabbed in the back, all because we went out to vote. As we escaped to seek medical attention with our injuries, emperor Akpabio ordered then Police Commissioner - Gabriel Achong to send his boys after us and arrest us so that he can silence us forever, like he has done to hundreds of other citizens. The Police captured us at Ikot Ekpene and locked away in their cell on that election day, till midnight. It took the intervention of AIG Bolanta (who is now the AIG Zone 6, but was then on special duty to Ikot Ekpene) to set us free to seek medical attention. But Godswill Akpabio and the DSS would never have any of that. He mobilized them to go all out and take us out for fear that we may speak to the press about the heist he perpetrated in my community!

We had to go underground, into hiding. He desperately wanted us caged and put out of circulation - killed or captured. He launched a full scale press war on AIT, Channels TV and Thisday Newspaper against us, telling tons of lies that we were APC thugs. Yet, he knew that we never belonged to any political party or planned to ever do. In fact, I personally went out on that day to vote for Udom Emmanuel, who was the candidate of the PDP. In Godswill's little mind, it was sacrilegious for anybody in my community to think of exercising the right to vote. He mobilized his boys to ensure that nobody went near the Polling Unit. And if you did, you faced the possibility of losing your life. Power made him think that he was invincible; a superman above all laws; above everyone else. He used every resource at his disposal to make life hellish for us. And he openly boasted about the hell he was putting us through. To him, it was fun.

While in hiding, Godswill hacked into our emails, phone lines, whatsapp, facebook, twitter, etc. They tracked every step we took. His agents were always the first to arrive any place we set out to go. They were ahead of us. We sent appeals and SOS messages to President GEJ, Director DSS - Ita Ekpenyong, etc. to come to our aid and call Godswill to order. None of them acted, until God drove them away from power.

In all these, AKS House of Assembly did not deem it fit to "call the DSS to order" or protest. It was fun all the way. They did not pass a resolution, condemning Godswill Akpabio's use of state apparatus to hunt down innocent citizens. They were all deaf, blind and dumb.

Now that crunch time has come, they have the effrontery to address a press conference. I have this to tell all of them: Godswill Akpabio and ALL his killer gangs would pay for all crimes they perpetrated against me, my family and victims of his evil machinations. He shall never have peace all the rest of his life. Since he set out to make my life miserable, our God shall return misery in a million folds to him. The DSS raid is just the beginning. He who sows the wind, would always reap the whirlwind. No hiding place for the wicked.

I respect and admire Udom Emmanuel. I shall continue to work to support him, even though his mandate is tainted by the blood-thirsty shenanigans of Akpabio. When the election is annulled (like it is going to be annuled soon), I expect Udom to win again with REAL VOTES CAST BY REAL HUMAN BEINGS not the fraud that Akpabio foisted on the State. By then, Udom would be free from Akpabio's stranglehold while the said Akpabio would continue to live with the guilt of the blood in his hands. DSS, please continue the raid. Mbok!!!!!
Politics / Re: Photo Of Senator Godswill Akpabio On His Hospital Bed In London by celemel(m): 10:14am On Sep 06, 2015
Our uncommon transformer is resting in the Akwa Ibom State World Class Hospital he commissioned in May 2015. However, this is the London branch. See his guguru head like a very stubborn child that should have ordinarily been lost to miscarriage or polio. Akpabio the killing master. The noose around his neck is tightening gradually. He'll rot in jail all the remaining days of his life or spend whatever is left therein, defending his insatiable appetite for women, power, money, blood and fame. This emperor would pay for his crimes and satanic exploits. The blood of innocent victims of is slaughter would continue to stir trouble for him. Ain't seen nothing yet.
Politics / My Horrible Experience With Customs: I Support Buhari by celemel(m): 12:52pm On Aug 29, 2015
Corruption. That canker-worm has burrowed a comfortable home in the main fabric of the Nigerian Customs Service. You feel it everywhere you turn. It stares you in the face. It is so present; so visceral, so real. It stands next to you. It is by your side. It is everywhere. It is a way of life. It is the blood of the agency. It is all that the service represents. I used to think that the Nigeria Police Force is deep in the art, until my recent experience unraveled the stench that oozes from the bowels of this modern-day Sodom and Gomorrah.
It all started in April this year, when a relation of mine decided to import a used car from the United States. He contacted me, an “omo Eko”, to be his “ears and eyes” to get the vehicle cleared from Tin Can Island Port through a clearing and forwarding agent. I quickly contacted an agent, upon recommendation by another friend. He “shocked” me by saying that clearing a used car from Tin Can Island Port is akin to passing the proverbial camel through the needle’s eye. He estimated that I may spend as much as the cost of the car in the port before I can lay hands on it. I thought it was a joke.
I handed the Bill of Lading to him to start processing. He reported back the next day that the Customs demanded for N0.5 million before they can “value” the car, else I would have to pay more than N 7,000,000.00 to clear! I was alarmed and I resisted.
After 2 weeks of back and forth, I decided to visit the port myself. I hitched a SeaCoaster boat ride across the Lagos Lagoon and in 5 minutes, I was face-to-face with barefaced corruption. Impunity beyond belief. I was tossed around like a yoyo, until I finally got to the office of one Mr. Kolo Baba Jiiyah, the PA to the Controller for Tin Can Port, Mrs. Talatu. His office is tucked in the inner recesses of the Customs compound in Tin Can. Seated on a desk by his corner is a full-size framed photograph of Talatu, an obviously overfed bulky woman, struggling between a bulging tummy and the demands of her “salute” posture, standing on an epitaph that read “African Customs Officer of the Year 2013”. The drapes that formed the backdrop obviously depicted the colors of Ghana, where the "award" was handed. This much was confirmed by the next statement: “award given in Accra, Ghana blablabla…”. While I scanned the office, Mr. Kolo was busy on the phone, negotiating with someone on the other side about “money for madam” and the other stakeholders, and the one that must go to Abuja. The phone call dragged on and on, until another customs lady came in to toss a bulging envelope to Kolo. He dropped the call, took a look and the envelope and asked how much. The woman replied 3M. He smiled, opened his steel cabinet and tossed it in. He said the amount was less than they negotiated and the customs woman replied that the man said he ran out of cash completely!And I waited.
It went past 1 hour after I arrived when he spoke to me. His tone was commanding. I should get out of his office and look for money to clear my car. He referred me to “valuation” - a unit in the agency, across the road where arbitrary values are placed on imported whares. I got there sharply. It is a reprehensible sight of commotion, confusion, chaos and disorganization. Hundreds of rowdy men and women loiter around the vicinity, wheeling and dealing. Most of them, from the Eastern side of our dear country. Money was changing hands in quick succession. People were literally standing on their heads to scramble for valuation papers. I sauntered into the Valuation Officer's dingy office, clutching unto my car papers. He momentarily looked at me, and requested that I wait outside. After about an hour, I intruded into his office space aain and demanded that I be attended to. The valuation man referred me back to Kolo with a caveat that only Kolo is responsible for cars that were made from 2014 upwards. That was how the day ended.
Another two weeks after, the agent came with a paper stating that customs insisted I must send N 4 million and the corresponding N.05 million for officers. In frustration, I sent the money. The agent went to get the car but brought a Skye Bank Teller that read N3,200,000.00 paid in favor of the Nigeria Customs Service! I instantly knew that I had been swindled. And I would not take it. The car did not come out either. So, I returned to Tin Can Island. Whodunit?
I connected with my agent again and demanded that he shows me the man that he handed over half a million Naira to! He took me to Kolo. Kolo again? It crossed my mind that I actually complained to Kolo in my earlier visit that someone in the Customs Service, was demanding for money to clear my car. I expected that he would “do something” about it. I never knew that he was the actual culprit! I sensed that something grander, deeper and more odoriferous was in that place. Something sinister yet familiar. I decided to dig deeper.
My agent told me that paying money to Kolo and indeed, his “Oga Madam” is a way of life. That the money is shared around, and that a share must be sent to Abuja for the Controller-General. He said that I was lucky to be billed only half a million.
I confronted Kolo about the sleaze. He told me to rather focus on my car, than think about how much I spent! Few hours after, I was told that the rates for clearing cars have been adjusted by the new government of President Buhari; that my car cannot come out again.
In astonishment, I went to Oga Madam. She told me to go look for another N2.8 million Naira to clear the car; that the code that was used to make my earlier payment to customs in Skye Bank was no longer valid since customs had upgraded the system! She was very audacious. Very commanding. Very haughty. Very in-charge. There was something fundamentally not ok with that woman. I continued to dig!
I was told that she is an “untouchable” within the customs system. I was told the even the Controller-General is afraid of Mrs. Talatu. I was told that her roots penetrate very deep; that she was planted by IBB and that everybody in the system, including the CGC is afraid of Talatu. She draws her power from the forces of darkness that have held this country to its knees since 1960. She is the law. She determines what you pay for what import.

I had to cry to Berekete Family Radio Programme in Love FM - Abuja; originate petitions to “ogas at the top”, etc. for the car to be released with a very huge bil for demurrage. I learnt my lessons and have lived with the trauma unto this day.
Nigeria Customs Service stinks to high heavens. This is the reason I applaud President Buhari for appointing a no-nonsense Colonel Ali into the Customs Service. He needs to use a very big broom to sweep the service very fast. Too many extremely corrupt fat cats to weed out. Too many entrenched interests. Too many vested interests. Too many decades of decay. My experience with the Customs completely destroyed my faith in the ability of our country to ever get better. I hope Ali proves me wrong.

14 Likes

Business / Re: Customs Shutdown NAHCO And SAHCOL Warehouses, any One Knows Anything Pls Share by celemel(m): 10:35pm On Sep 11, 2013
@DANTEDASZ
You didn't provide any answers in your reply. We know the NCS is corrupt, abi? Then, we should as well shutdown Nigeria Customs Service, so that we sanitize it. Abi? Where were the NCS personnel when 3500 consignments "disappeared"? How do you define "general good" when a citizen whose only crime is originating from a jungle called Nigeria is made to bear the brunt of the ineptitude of another citizen in the same jungle? Let me provide an answer to the reason Nigerians pay in Cotonou, not Lagos: Simply because Cotonou has an attractive climate for clearing and forwarding. Lagos port doesn't! All the staff of NCS including Inde Dikko are only interested in making maximum money from the hapless citizen and punishing them (like this SAHCOL/NAHCO saga has shown) without any serious interest in the essence of their creation by law. NCS is now seen only as a money-making government parastatal, not as an agency that should exist to protect the national economy! Their staff look for the flimsiest of excuses to covert people's hard-earned properties for their girl friends, concubines, mistresses, cronies, fronts and wives, in the name of public auction! They arbitrarily fix rates on imported wares especially cars, depending on their mood, interest, target, etc. They are overlords and operate above the law. That is the Nigerian Customs Service! This SAHCOL/NAHCO saga is aimed at extortion and nothing more. We are all aware jare.

2 Likes

Business / Re: Customs Shutdown NAHCO And SAHCOL Warehouses, any One Knows Anything Pls Share by celemel(m): 9:04pm On Sep 11, 2013
@Dantedasz, I got a couple of questions for you. Do you mean to tell me that my brother's stuff that he imported for his wedding that was to hold last weekend is justifiably being held up in SAHCOL warehouse by NCS for no known fault of his? If the Nigerian Customs Service personnel were involved in sleazy deals with NAHCO and SAHCOL to cheat the FGN, should an innocent other Nigerian, whose only "crime" is bringing in consignments via the ONLY two approved bonded warehouses in Nigeria be punished for it? How come NCS did not simply go to setup a foolproof system in the warehouse to collect it's tolls, instead of holding everybody's item to ransom? Do you know that life-support equipment imported to give a little more life to several sick people, denied of basic health-care by our forever-inept, gluttonous, money-guzzling and terribly stupid governments are caught up in that lock-down? Have you imagined what has happened to fresh-flowers worth millions of Nigeria, imported via MMIA by a contractor for supply held up in that warehouse since last week? Do you know that consignment of goods that were bound for Nigeria from all over the world since last week are stuck in some world capitals like Belgium and UAE, with the shippers not knowing what to do with them since there's no warehouse in Nigeria to receive same? Just like every other thing Nigerian, our people neever ever sit down to think through any action deeply before embarking on it. The same NCS that gave SAHCOL and NAHCO permission to setup bonded warehouses with fanfare, is the same now complaining that the government is shortchanged! Did they not design appropriate mechanisms or envision the effects of such warehouses on their forever insatiable revenue drive during the planning stages?

Do you shutdown an entire system of receiving air-freighted goods into a country for more than a week in order to be able to enforce govermnment tax rules? IMO, it is only in the jungle - Nigeria - where someone would act the way NCS has acted here and get away with it. In other climes, they'd have paid so dearly and so heavily that their 10 lifetimes wouldn't be sufficient. Oh, I remember that their Controller-General did not even write his SSCE by himself! Foolish useless annoying lot!!

3 Likes

Politics / Re: Chidi Lloyd’s Arraignment Stalled [PHOTOS] by celemel(m): 7:09pm On Aug 05, 2013
where are the naysayers? Chidi Lloyd has been granted bail. Case taken over as predicted. Commissioner of Police redeployed. People should stop oozing out their ignorance online!!
Politics / Re: Chidi Lloyd’s Arraignment Stalled [PHOTOS] by celemel(m): 8:46pm On Aug 01, 2013
@ deletrue,
I don't suffer fools gladly. True, its difficult to take the swamp from the Hippo. Aint no need holding any conversation with the mutant version in you!
Politics / Re: Chidi Lloyd’s Arraignment Stalled [PHOTOS] by celemel(m): 2:10pm On Aug 01, 2013
@Texaco1
This is politics and to be precise nigeria politics ,nothing dey happen.amaechi will trade this guy if he sees that his political interest will be jeopardised .this guy is alone now and he will face the music. there is nothing amaechi can do to save him,the court will keep on adjourning this case till ppl forget about it.
The next time he sees a mace he won't even touch it talk less of hitting somebody with it

You haven't told us how they will do it! The other time, you said Amaechi is finished! He is still standing! Politics has rules. If you don't play well, you lose. It happened at the NGF! It happened at the RSHA! It happened during the election of the Speaker, House of Representatives. In each instance, might did not prevail. Common sense did. What makes you then think, common sense won't? Brute force alone doesn't cut it all the time. Tactics do. In this instance, I can't see the federal might triumphing. The reason is because, they are tactically deficient. Charging him for murder was a blunder that would be fatal to their case! The AG of Rivers State would take over the case, and that is it. The Judge cannot deny that outcome, no matter the volume of Ghana-Must-Go that changes hands. In any case, with Aloma Mukhtar at the helm, Judges are watching their backs. Watch this space! It is my word against yours!
Politics / Re: Chidi Lloyd’s Arraignment Stalled [PHOTOS] by celemel(m): 1:52pm On Aug 01, 2013
@0monnakoda
Not so! not ALL variants. There are several variant that fall under the purview of the Federal Government.So many in fact excluding this one. But there are many many variants that are federal offences. E.g killing the President ,soldiers,police,killing in the course of treason or murder by Armed forces personnel

Noted! But this one is State Offense, like that of Al-Mustapha!
Politics / Re: Chidi Lloyd’s Arraignment Stalled [PHOTOS] by celemel(m): 1:48pm On Aug 01, 2013
@ TEXACO
You don't know anything.
We are talking about nigerian politics ytou are talking about law!if the powers that be wants him to remain in detention till december they can do it and nothing will happen.the worst that will happen is that people will come online and call gej retardeen and that is all

Well, even though anything goes in the jungle called Nigeria, we are supposed to be running a semblance of constitutional rule. I may not want to join issue with your warped sense of naked power. I bet you, OBJ was even more obsessed, but didn't get away for too long. Democracy is a self-cleansing system of governance that abhors impunity! Thank God for periodic elections. Even the man you call retardeen knows better than you assume. Chidi Lloyd cannot be detained forever! He would go home free, someday!
Politics / Re: Chidi Lloyd’s Arraignment Stalled [PHOTOS] by celemel(m): 1:24pm On Aug 01, 2013
This case is dead on arrival! By Law, it is only the department of Public Prosecution (DPP) of a state that can file charges against an offender in a Criminal Case such as murder, attempted murder, manslaughter, stealing, armed-robbery, kidnapping, etc. The Police is duty bound to send the case-file of an suspectr to the DPP (State Attorney General's agent) after conclusion of investigation. DPP can either authorize the Police to prosecute, or take over prosecution itself. When the police files charges against an offender in any court of law, it is deemed to have done so on behalf of the State Attorney-General (in the case of any of the 36 States) or the AGF, if it is a Federal Crime like treason, or treasonable felony, or a crime committed in the FCT! The Police takes it's prosecutorial powers from the Attorney-General, who in this instance, is an appointee of Governor Amaechi. And the AG of a State can file a nolle prosequi (discontinuation of prosecution) which literally means that the State is no longer interested in the prosecution of a suspect. If that happens, the Court is duty bound to strike out the case, and no further action can be taken, except the AG of that State approaches a superior court of records to re-file charges!

Murder and all the variants of that crime fall squarely under the purview and prerogative of the State AG where the crime was committed. In the instant case, Chidi Lloyd can only be tried in Port Harcourt and prosecuted by the AG of Rivers State and NO OTHER PERSON! Therein lies the dilemma! He is a free man, head or tail!
Phones / Re: Glo Blackberry Plans On Phones And Other Devices by celemel(m): 2:24pm On Jan 02, 2013
This doesn't work with an unlocked MTN modem. I've battled that since the last 5 days.
Phones / Re: Glo Blackberry Plans On Phones And Other Devices by celemel(m): 2:55pm On Dec 30, 2012
I get this when i send status to 777

Phones / Re: Glo Blackberry Plans On Phones And Other Devices by celemel(m): 10:49am On Dec 30, 2012
I activated and tried SoMonth. My experience hasn't been very good. First, I sent SoMonth to 777 using Galaxy Note 10.1, and waited forever to be activated without success. Then,I transferred the SIM to a bb. After a few minutes, I got an sms that my blackberry device has been registered on the Glo network (of course it was a, borrow - borrow blackberry). I then configured the APN and switched back into the Galaxy. It worked for a few minutes and stopped. Since the last 48 hours service has been very erratic and intermittent. I have tried the SlM in other Samsung Devices and Huawei
Modems without any major breakthrough .And am located in Lagos mainland.
Education / Re: NUC Suspends Part-time Programmes In Varsities by celemel(m): 2:04am On Jun 27, 2012
Judging from the poo of grammar posted here, I'd suggest NUC bans university education. I'm ashamed to belong to this generation. And to imagine that the trash we post here is connected with education makes it sadder. How did we sink this low? How did most of us make it past GSS 101? embarassed
Autos / Re: Total Cost Of Clearing A Vehicle In Nigeria by celemel(m): 3:26pm On May 07, 2012
@Femmy:
That is quite off the mark.
Autos / Re: Total Cost Of Clearing A Vehicle In Nigeria by celemel(m): 8:00pm On May 06, 2012
@Phemy:
I'm expecting a 2007 BMW 328i via Grimaldi on May 21, from the states. How much would I pay to get it down to my doorsteps in Lagos? An urgent answer would be so damn appreciated.
Autos / Re: Free Vin Checks And Reports by celemel(m): 6:46pm On Apr 13, 2012
Inspired, please help check this for me. You are doing a very smart and wonderful job. WBAVA335X7PG53819 Thanks a great deal. Send the details to celestinemelikpa@yahoo.com
Politics / Re: Ohanaeze Queries Cbn’s N100m Donation To Boko Haram Victims by celemel(m): 12:28pm On Feb 12, 2012
CBN Community

University Aid | Sports | Govt & Professionals | Other Aids

The Nigerian University
Capacity Building Programme
Since the late 1990s, the CBN has expanded its involvement in community based activities beyond sporting development to include other areas of community development. In response to the general concern about the decaying infrastructure in the first generation universities, the Bank attempted to provide/improve key infrastructure under the Nigerian Universities Capacity Building Programme. Following the success of the pilot scheme, the programme has since been extended to include second generation universities. The projects carried out under this capacity building programme include the construction of administrative blocks, lecture halls, laboratories, health centres, and provision of IT and V-sat equipment.

The Bank has so far spent the sum of over N453m on such projects and more Universities are expected to benefit from the programme in subsequent years. The following universities have benefited under the programme:

Institution/Project Grant
Remark
University of Ibadan, Ibadan Construction of a 1,200-seater Science Lecture Theatre N30 million
Fully Disbursed
University of Lagos, Lagos
Purchase of classroom furniture and equipping Biochemistry laboratory N25 million
Fully Disbursed
Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria
A customized building for a Biotechnology laboratory N70 million
Fully Disbursed
University of Nigeria, Nsukka
Internet Connectivity Project: Site preparation, Equipment and Furniture N37 million
Commissioned
Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife Construction of and equipping Computer Laboratory and Workshop N25 million
Partially Disbursed
University of Benin, Benin City Construction of Health Centre Building N37 million
Partially Disbursed
University of Maiduguri, Maiduguri Construction of Lecture Theatre N15 million
Partially Disbursed
Federal University of Technology, Yola
Transfer of ownership of Mai Bornu Housing Estate from CBN to the University and Financial grant towards the cost of renovating the estate N43 million
Fully Disbursed
University of Port Harcourt, Choba Construction of a Lecture Theatres N15 million
Partially Disbursed
Bayero University, Kano
Construction of a Professorial Office block N15 million
Partially Disbursed
Nnamdi Azikwe University, Awka Construction of Lecture Theatre and multi-purpose Hall N21.5 million
Not Disbursed
University of Jos, Jos
Construction of a Bio-chemistry Laboratory N15 million
Not Disbursed
Federal University of Technolgy, Akure
University Computer Resource Centre N30 million

Not Disbursed
University of Calabar
Completion of graduate school building N15 million -do-
Usman Dan Fodio University, Sokoto
Sport Complex N15 million -do-
Ambubakar Tafawa Balewa University , Bauchi
Construction of an office / class room block N15 million -do-
University of Uyo
Construction of a multi-purpose lecture theatre N18 million -do-
Federal University of Technology, Owerri
Construction of Office Block for the department of health N15 million -do-
Federal University of Technology, Minna
Construction of an office block N20.3 million -do-
University of Agriculture Makurdi
Construction of an auditorium N17 million -do-
University of Agriculture Abeokuta
Internet Connectivity Project: N15 million -do-
Michael Okpara University
of Agriculture Umudike.
Internet Connectivity Project N15 million -do-
University of Abuja
Construction of a student centre at the universities permanent site N25 million -do-
University of Ilorin
Construction of a 20 room bungalow type II hostel N14.4 million -do-
Total Grant to 24 Universities
Total Disbursement
N435 million

N201,867,900.12 million
Politics / Re: President To Address The Nation @7:00am by celemel(m): 6:33am On Jan 16, 2012
Presidential Address On The  Implementation Of The Deregulation Policy

Dear Compatriots,1.    This is the second time in two weeks I will address you on the deregulation of the downstream petroleum sector. In the last seven days, the nation has witnessed a disruption of economic activities.  Although, the economic imperatives for the policy have been well articulated by government, the Nigerian Labour Congress (NLC) and the Trade Union Congress (TUC) went ahead to declare a nationwide strike. 2.    There was also near-breakdown of law and order in certain parts of the country as a result of the activities of some persons or groups of persons who took advantage of the situation to further their narrow interests by engaging in acts of intimidation, harassment and outright subversion of the Nigerian state. I express my sympathy to those who were adversely affected by the protests.3.    At the inception of the deregulation policy, Government had set up the Justice Alfa Belgore Committee to liaise with Labour and other stakeholders to address likely grey areas in the policy, but despite all our efforts, Labour refused the option of dialogue and also disobeyed a restraining order of the National Industrial Court of Nigeria. 4.    However, following the intervention of the Leadership of the National Assembly, and other well-meaning Nigerians, Labour accepted to meet with government, but this yielded no tangible result.  5.    It has become clear to government and all well-meaning Nigerians that other interests beyond the implementation of the deregulation policy have hijacked the protest. This has prevented an objective assessment and consideration of all the contending issues for which dialogue was initiated by government. These same interests seek to promote discord, anarchy, and insecurity to the detriment of public peace. 6.    Government appreciates that the implementation of the deregulation policy would cause initial hardships and commends Nigerians who have put forth suggestions and credible alternatives in this regard. Government also salutes Nigerians who by and large, conducted themselves peacefully while expressing their grievances. Let me assure you that government will continue to respect the people's right to express themselves within the confines of the law and in accordance with the dictates of our democratic space. 7.    Government will continue to pursue full deregulation of the downstream petroleum sector. However, given the hardships being suffered by Nigerians, and after due consideration and consultations with state governors and the leadership of the National Assembly, government has approved the reduction of the pump price of petrol to N97 per litre. The Petroleum Products Pricing Regulatory Agency (PPPRA) has been directed to ensure compliance with this new pump price. 8.    Government is working hard to reduce recurrent expenditure in line with current realities and to cut down on the cost of governance. In the meantime, government has commenced the implementation of the Subsidy Reinvestment and Empowerment projects: including the Federal Government- assisted mass transit programme which is already in place, and job creation for the youth.  9.     Furthermore, the legal and regulatory regime for the petroleum industry will be reviewed to address accountability issues and current lapses in the Industry. In this regard, the Petroleum Industry Bill will be given accelerated attention. The report of the forensic audit carried out on the NNPC is being studied with a view to implementing the recommendations and sanctioning proven acts of corruption in the industry. 10.                       Let me assure Nigerians that this administration is irrevocably committed to tackling corruption in the petroleum industry as well as other sectors of the economy. Consequently, all those found to have contributed one way or the other to the economic adversity of the country will be dealt with in accordance with the law. 11.                       My dear compatriots, I urge you to show understanding for the imperatives of the adjustment in the pump price of petrol and give government your full support to ensure its successful implementation. I further appeal to Nigerians to go back to work and go about their normal duties as government has made adequate arrangements for the protection of life and property throughout the federation. 12.                       Government will not condone brazen acts of criminality and subversion. As President, I have sworn to uphold the unity, peace and order of the Nigerian State and by the grace of God, I intend to fully and effectively discharge that responsibility.  Let me add that we are desirous of further engagements with Labour. I urge our Labour leaders to call off their strike, and go back to work. 13.                       Nigeria belongs to all of us and we must collectively safeguard its unity. 14.                       Thank you. God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.GOODLUCK EBELE JONATHAN, GCFRPresident,Federal Republic of Nigeria

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