₦airaland Forum

Here are 10 of the worst ones. I hope they’re not serious but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were!

Breaking up is hard to do. So maybe that’s why people give so many bad excuses for it. Of course, at some point, we’ve all probably heard or resorted to “It’s not you, it’s me.” And while that sounds like a cop-out, chances are it is that person. That person just isn’t sure he or she wants to be with you. Well, if you’re getting dumped, he or she is very sure. But that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you per se. No one likes to hear that though, because people want some kind of concrete reason like, “I hate your underwear.” But that’s usually not the way it goes. The hashtag #WorstBreakUpExcuses has been trending on Twitter all day. Here are 10 of the worst ones. I hope they’re not serious but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were!

1. I’m sorry babe, but you don’t Twerk like you used to. (Ouch. I wonder if this is what Liam Hemsworth told Miley Cyrus.)

2. I can’t date you because I’m a superhero and my villains will use you against me.

3. You don’t look half as good as you did on Christian Mingle. God bless.

4. You’re too good to me/too nice/too smart/you deserve better. (Yes, you do.)

5. The gradual shifting of tectonic plates

6. We need to break up because my dog keeps barking at you. I think he’s trying to tell me something.

7. I just can’t be with someone who liked Sharknado.

8. I love you but I’m not “in love” with you.

9. I’ve got to focus on finding out the truth about Benghazi.

10. We can’t see each other anymore, I’m getting married.

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Ex member of the defunct music trio Plantashun Boiz , Blackface, has opened another can of worms with his former group mate 2face Idibia over his hit song African Queen, which he still insists he wrote.



Blackface is allegedly yearning for some part of revenue from the song even though 2face has been taking credit for the song.
Though, why he waited 10 plus years to voice out leaves many pundits asking the genuity of his claims.
Shortly after the Plantashun Boiz broke up, the relationship between the duo was still intact, and it was believed that only Faze had a strained relationship with the other members of the group.
The strain in the relationship between Blackface and 2Face became obvious during the April 2013 wedding of the latter in Dubai, which the former didn’t attend. When asked by a follower on Twitter why he was not at 2Face’s wedding in Dubai, which was attended by Face, Blackface simply replied that he doesn’t go to where he is not invited.
Blackface’s response raised questions and confirmed that the two erstwhile friends might not be on speaking terms. Speaking with Channels TV some days ago, Blackface stated that he was yet to receive any money from 2Face despite his incessant cry on the matter.
“I still haven’t (received any payment from 2Face) because they have to backdate it, they have to check the revenues of the music, what it has generated, what is due to the co-writer and all that, all those things are just still hanging, but I still have one or two things that I am doing to find out what the issue behind all these stuffs are” the singer said.http://dailystar.com.ng/2013/07/11/2face-owes-me-money-and-he-wont-pay-back-black-face-cries-out/?wt=2

Three Christian boys have been tortured and murdered by Pakistani police due to love affairs with Muslim girls.
Afzal Masih, 20, and his cousin Iftikhar Masih, 20, from Moran Walla Sharkpur were tortured and murdered on the 29th of April 2013.
Then, on the 10th of June, Adnan Masih was also tortured and murdered by Punjab police, without any written complaint.
Also Farhad Masih, 16, and the mother of of Shibli town Gulshan Ravi Lahore was arrested by the Complaint (FIR) 579/13.PPC, 380/496 A.
The local Muslims looted and then attempted to burn Farhad’s house. The police constables and investigation officers were torturing and abusing the Christian boys, as well as threatening them about their love relations with Muslim girls.
They believe that in Islam, muslim males are allowed to be with non-muslim women but muslim women are not allowed to be with non-muslim males.
After some time local Muslims held a huge protest against Christians and tried to burn down their houses. Some Muslims have announced that Christian boys must be forced to convert to Islam.
Due to great pressure from the S. P. Iqbal town Imtiaz Sarwar conditions were given to provide for the safety and lives of Farhad Masih and the members of his family. These conditions are as follows:
1. Farhad must convert to Islam.
2. He must pay 500,000 (807,547.41 NGN) to his wife.
3. He must pay 2,000 (3,230.19 Naira) to his wife every month.
4. He can visit his parents but is not allowed to live with them.
5. If he converts back to Christianity then he will be murdered.http://www.informationng.com/2013/07/3-christian-boys-killed-by-police-due-to-love-affair-with-muslim-girls.html?utm_source=&utm_medium=twitter

This is not a joke: Swaziland aviation authorities warn witches against flying too high
Posted by Y! City Editor
Swaziland has launched a crackdown on high-flying witches after banning them from hovering above 150metres.

It has been a long time since witches were burnt at the stake in Europe but the accusation remains a serious one in the landlocked African country.

Anyone caught flying their broomstick above the height limit faces arrest and a hefty R500,000 fine, the country’s civil aviation authorities said this week.

‘A witch on a broomstick should not fly above the [150-metre] limit,’ corporate affairs director Sabelo Dlamini told The Star.

The new aviation law was highlighted after a private investigator was caught flying a helicopter equipped with a video camera to gather surveillance information.

Witchcraft is taken seriously in Swaziland where many people believe in the power of black magic.

Last year a leading Swazi MP called for a hike in tax paid by witch doctors to help ease the cash-strapped country’s financial woes.

but not for transport.Source:http://www.ynaija.com/this-is-not-a-joke-swaziland-aviation-authorities-warn-witches-against-flying-too-high/

In 2011, 2Face Idibia and D'banj jointly won the Best International Act (Africa) at the BET awards while Ice Prince lost out on the same award to Sarkodie and Wizkid last year. Both 2face and Ice Prince have been nominated for this year's award making it the 2nd each
Is been nominated
Leading the pack at this year's BET Awards is YMCMB rapper Drake who had 12 nominations while rappers Kendrick Lamar and 2 Chainz had eight nominations each.

There were also nominations for A$AP Rocky, Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Miguel, Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.

The 2013 BET Awards hosted by Chris Tucker comes off on Sunday, June 30 at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles and it will witness performances from R. Kelly, Chris Brown and the legendary Charlie Wilson.
Source:http://entertainment.myjoyonline.com/pages/news/201305/106038.php

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Artlove: Breaknews!

Good luck Jonathan walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, 'Good morning Ma'am. Would you pleasecash this cheque for me?'

Cashier: 'It would be my pleasure, Sir. But could you please show me your ID?'

Jonathan: 'Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. [Don't you know me?] I am Jonathan, the President...'

Cashier: 'Yes sir, I know who you are. But with all the regulations and monitoring of thebanks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the CBN, I must insist on seeing some ID.'

Jonathan: 'Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.'

Cashier: 'I am sorry, sir, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.'

Jonathan: 'I am urging you, please, cash this cheque.'

Cashier: 'Sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tonto Dike came into the bank to cash a cheque without her ID. To prove herself, she started singing, the guard dog fainted and the computers went off. So we knew it was her and cashed the cheque.'
'Another time, Governor Fashola came without his ID to cash a cheque. We doubted him at first but when our dispatch rider rode in on a motorbike and he screamed, 'Arrest that bike rider,' we cashed his cheque!'
'So sir, what can you do to prove that it is youand only you, as President?'

Jonathan stands there thinking and thinking, and finally says, 'Honestly, my mind is totally blank... There is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I just don't have a clue.'

Cashier: 'Very good, Sir. It is you, alright! Now we're convinced! Do you want N500 or N1,000 notes?



adjective

1. holding an indicated position
, role, office,
etc., currently: the I
ncumbent officers of the club.

2. obligatory (often followed by on or upon): a duty incumbent upon me.

3. resting, lying, leaning, or pressing on something: incumbent upon the cool grass.





noun

1. the holder of an office: The incumbent was challenged by a fusion candidate.

2. a person who holds an ecclesiastical benefice.

Behind the Cloud ended when Nosa died, the rich also cry, No one but u, Lady of the rose etc

Will love to meet the almighty Beaf the guy damn too intelligent (know some people will slap me 4 this)@ what he does.Also want 2 meet sexkills just love d name

John Terry has just been cleared of racism charges. He was earlier removed as the England captain based on the allegation and Capelo resigned as Coach of the English National team but now that he has been cleared shouldn't the FA apologize to Capelo and reinstate Terry as Captain..What do u think?

ime to decide if we can remain as one country – Northern CAN



July 10, 2012 | 5:16 am

News

The Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) in 19 Northern States and the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) yesterday in Kaduna condemned the persistent killings of Christians in the North  and asked for a Sovereign National Conference.

In a statement yesterday reacting to last Sunday’s murder of Senator Daylop Dantong representing Plateau North Senatorial District of Plateau State, Hon. Gyang Danfulani, Majority leader in the Plateau State House of Assembly, among estimated 63 people killed in Barkin Ladi Local Government, northern CAN said: “Those people who want to live by the swords and bombs can have their own country and kill themselves. Those who want to live in peace and catch up with development that is going on in some other parts of the world can have their country and make progress”.

Also the Arewa Consultative Forum (ACF), has condemned the killing, and called for a halt to the violence.

The statement from Northern CAN signed by its Public Relations Officer, Mr Sunday Oibe reads: “We Christians in Northern Nigeria are calling on President Goodluck Jonathan to demonstrate enough political will to bring an end to the activities of terrorist groups in the north.

“The President once declared that there are some Boko Haram members in his government; we can now see the manifestation of this, especially in the activities of the Special Task Force in Plateau State which failed to respond to distress calls during the massacre of rural communities in Barkin-Ladi Local government Area the state.

“This time around, the President should stop at nothing until he brings the activities of terrorists to an end.

“We will not accept a situation where only one tribe in Nigeria is trying to bring the entire country to its knees. This is absolutely unacceptable.

“It is activities of some members of this tribe that is undermining the National Youth Service Scheme (NYSC) which seeks to integrate us as a nation.

“One tribe must not be seen to be lording it over the rest of Nigerians. Nigeria is bigger than any tribe or religion. We must, as a people with conscience, sense of patriotism and sense of justice and fair play resist these mindless, barbaric killings. We call on the National Assembly to forget about their personal interests and convoke a National Conference to determine whether we should continue to live together.

“We urge all peace loving Nigerians who want to live freely and make progress to demand the convocation of a National Sovereign Conference so that we will bring an end to these killings and destruction of property.”

This is the only way we can peacefully bring an end to this madness so that those who want to develope can make progress and those who want to be killing can go on killing themselves when they are in their own country.

“We urged the Christians in Plateau state not to lose hope and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ in the midst of these unprovoked mass killings including the killing of Senator Gyang Dantong and the Majority Leader of the Plateau state House of Assembly, Hon. Gyang Fulani.

“We want to state categorically that we are not accepting the usual condemnation by government which has become a mere slogan. The Government must not just condemn it, it must fish out the perpetrators and sponsors of this wickedness and bring them to justice for the sake of peace and stability.

“We believe that there are some powerful elements who are behind the activities of these so called herds men. We want to ask pertinent questions: Has the government of Nigeria legalised possession of arms by unauthorised individuals? If the answer is ‘no’, how did the Fulani herds men in the north come to be in  possession of sophisticated weapons,  including military uniforms and bullet proof vests?

“Who supplied them these weapons and the uniforms? Where were the S
pecial Military Task Force deployed to Plateau State when this massacre was going on? Why did it take them five hours to get to the scene of the incident?

“Reports reaching us said the Special Task Force was contacted by 4: am. It was about 9:30 am that the task force went there. We understand that it was the mobile police that went to the scene of the incident.  Whose orders is the Special Military Task Force carrying out in Plateau?

“If the Barakin-Ladi Local Government chairman called the Task Force and they promised they were coming, why did the Task Force fail to go until after they terrorists had finished their operation?

“Our stand as Christians in the North is that, we have lost confidence in the ability of the Special Task Force in Plateau to protect the lives and property of Christians in the state. We will not accept any intimidation of Christians by security agencies over this issue.

“If the government wants peace to reign in this country, then it must go beyond the usual condemnation and rhetoric by exposing the sponsors of these so called Fulani herds men that have continued to caused havoc to Christians in Plateau, Benue, Taraba and the Southern part of Kaduna state.

“It is becoming very dangerous for Christians to go about their legitimate businesses in the north as a result of terrorists’ activities.

On its Part, the National Publicity Secretary of the, Mr. Anthony Sani  ACF in a Statement sent to Journalist by e-mail said: “the news of the killing of innocent people in some villages in Barki Ladi of Plateau state, Nigeria, has come to Arewa Consultative Forum with great shock.

“Tremendous shock not only  because the killing included women and children, but also because they have occurred just after the recent reconciliatory meetings between the wary factions, as well as after the recent visit by the new National Security Adviser to Plateau state in continuation of his search for how best to address the security challenges across the country.

“More depressing has been the following killing of Senator Dantong and the Chief Whip of Plateau state House of Assembly as well as the wounding of a member of the House of Reps.

“It is, therefore, with heavy heart that ACF wishes to call on all those who derive pleasure in violent killing of neighbours as their own ways of addressing grievances to stop such drift to the stone age when communal violence was the deed in fashion. In the twenty first century, such approach is certainly primitive and barbaric, especially when regard is paid to the fact that under democracy there are due process of addressing any perceived grievances.

“ACF also calls on the governments and security agencies to prosecute perpetrators of such heinous crimes against humanity as deterrence for future occurrences.

“And finally, the forum commiserates with families of those killed, and prays to God to provide them with the fortitude to bear the irreparable losses .May their souls rest in perfect peace”.

 

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[quote author=pimps]Injustice begot injustice, jesus is a dumb ass muderfucker nope wonder they kil
l himm.. U r d biggest fool the world has ever produced and will ever produce. Go read your koran who is Isa? Idiots who copied the Bible and changed it

just checked my dictionary and there is nothing wrong with his grammar

Download says invalid address...aunty mukina
Pls help us fix it..@Immanuell click on listen u will see a link to download. I just downloaded the song n it isn't bad]

MAXIMUS: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the armies of the North, general of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance in this life or the next.

MAXIMUS: Fratres..., three weeks from now I will be harvesting my crops, imagine where you will be and it will be so. Hold the lines, stay with me. If you find yourself alone riding in green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled, for you are in Elysium and you're already dead!!!. [The men laugh.] Brothers, what we do in life echoes in eternity. The Gladiators

When govt can't protect people what do u expect them to do? Fold their arm
s and die ? No they will find a way of protecting themselves by buying arms like the so called pastor did. If it were muslims that were consistently been attacked in their mosques this country would have been in war already. So if xtian wanted war I can assure it would have been very easy , they will just say some nasty things about Muhammad like the someone did in Denmark and that would have done it. Christianity is a religion of tolerance if not...however these terrorist would soon get what they are looking for like the reprisal in KD that's just the beginning

^^ guys are always trying to divert attention using incidence like the above. The bottom line is u can't convince anyone not even yourself that this story is true. I never know that u guys know that killing 4watever reason can't b justified so pls stop looking 4 accomplice and in case u need one get mai suya, shoe shiner, mai ruwa etc cause these are kind of fools u can convince..please go get a life terrorist