₦airaland Forum

Wawelexy:
We go one of our friend wedding, food finish due to overcrowding.... Nigga say make we never go, say dem don dey cook beans and corn....... Werey want make go dey shit if we reach ous, na one by one we manoeuvre...

Lol.

kinzation:
The babe I told to gimme her number dey do one kyn
So I hit her intentionally and the soup poured on her white

I feel fulfilled tho
Emi ika

Onye ojo

Opeyemiextra:
I waited at the entrance so long because it was the bride's family sharing ticket at the event center. I had to wait for the chief bridesmaid to take me in even though I was wearing aso ebi and travellled in from another state.

You were also waiting with who dem no invite?I feel the pain.

siofra:
I was prettier than the bride so they said I should clean off my make-up or leave. I had to clean off my make-up. I honestly did not know I was prettier than the bride. I wouldn't have disrespected her like that.

You use the hyperbole well to illustrate the irony of the euphemism.

federal9:
Big chicken was coming from one corner, and I was looking for the girl that told me no meat.

And when you see her you'll be like: “see dear, I am not a hungry man. I was invited here. I didn't come on my own accord. No, no, let me speak. I am not a HUNGRY MAN..damn it!! You told me there was no meat! What is that there?”

My own is that I only attend weddings I am invited (strictly). Even if it is my neighbour doing it and I wasn't invited, you can never see my shadow there. I love to respect myself.

So there was this wedding they invited me and beseeched I joined in the committee of those monitoring people going into the storehouse to bring food and drinks. Groom was a friend.

At a point, the guy who was appointed the moderator of the team was beginning to be military ordering everyone here and there. He'll be like “John, please stop pressing your phone and listen. ...Michael, do remove the this and that.”

Obedient servant me was carrying out his orders make e no look like I dey stubborn.

Ok, he shared the group into team A and team B. I was in team B...ours was to monitor those sharing upstairs. In our team was another junior mod who arranged everything perfectly that before you can say Robinson, everyone was on their second plates as instructed. Food full everywhere.

Since he had accomplished the second round of sharing after about two hours, he ordered the ushers to dish a plate to we the monitors and themselves. The ushers were ladies.

Guess what?

The stupid werey wey bi moderator came and saw one of the members eating and began to raise his voice at “who that person was to order we be given food when everyone hasn't eaten. We appointed you guys not tell you guys to finish it.” Like his voice was attracting overfed onlookers.

I kuku just drop my plate and vomited the salad slice in my mouth.

After trying to absorb the shame for some minutes, I headed downstairs in dismay. What is going on here...I saw the moderator gorging on one lap of turkey. He called my name and was like “where are you heading to?.. am I not asking a question?” I didn't utter a word, head front and was moving...I just dey pray make e hand touch me make I nack am for ground like three times.



Abeg, make una share una experiences.

cc: lalasticlala, mynd44, Dominque, Ishilove, Rocktation, farano

odinson1:
This is the only defense You people generally have when trying to Justify the Existence of the Female species on the Planet Earth. Their only purpose is for The continuation of our species, nothing more. Sexual gratification for men might be an exception though.

Men single handedly Built civilizations,made insane discoveries,and invented wonders with the Help of Artistry,science and technology. And what did women do? They sat at home, bearing children.

Now they have the Audacity to claim Equality with The Offsprings of the Men who Laid claim to Planet Earth and Made it "Home".

Well,as a Notorious Nairalander always says, NIGERIAN GIRLS ARE.......ALL OF THEM!

Anyone saying all Nigerian girls are useless should start listing from his sisters.

The poor do not run from them. Due to the caste system and its disparities, the rich—the bourgeoisie—distant themselves from the poor....who they like to call the peasants.

The rich energy to separate themselves from the poor bi like red oil wey dey sun wey still dey strong.


Welcome to the new capitalist system.

Younghacka:
I Saw It On Yabaleft, Our Very Own Chatinent Is A Star

Chief, make I send my aza?

No be the plan?

Which one bi inform?

Kriss216:
Correct. You be OG.

I owe you one fresh banny anytime you enter Owerri.

Biko, nna, convert the banny to naira. I dey O-town. Make I send my aza?

Long story short, how much has he paid you?

Without Eve, you for no dey here.

kinglee007:
Opportunity comes but once

One bottle of my friend udeme for you.

Kriss216:
I'm seeing bones? Why?

So, someone can still chop chicken and remain the bones for this Buhari regime? Una dey like waste food anyhow, na so una take dey invite EFCC for una house.

Remain bones?

Chief, view again.

Runs?


Guys dey pay pass ₦1k?


Cool down ask her about it.

Respect your wife for public na. Even if I know say stupidity is a free gift of nature, stop abusing the privilege.

All we want is a big win

OH mehn.

.

Ok.

A short story.


cc: lalasticlala, mynd44, Dominque, Ishilove

I am not surprised.

Nigeria is a waste of time. Which hacker? Na dem dem jare.

Ogun State?
Are you sure it's recklessness or not what the baba told him to do?

Church business: legal yahoo yahoo.


See where 10% of people's income dey go. Choi.

All the money EFCC has recovered over the years, where does it go to?

We only hear recoveries. We don't hear overheads.

If you hear that EFCC arrested a yahoo boy, know that that person didn't meet up their bribe. Even the ones who they arrested, no be everything they post they collect be everything wey they collect. Even the money recovered, no bi everything recovered dem they post. Even the ones they post, lion share sometimes dey go like Solomon Grundy.

This is a case of re-looting the loot.

If Nigeria is a country, it's an allegation I am hearing for the first time.

This post is importantless.

Signed, management.

Everything you are doing with broke girls goes with benefits from you.


#ThumbsDown.

Yawns.

Buhari will not like this news.

“Men will be lovers of money rather than lovers of God.”

Who go come dey collect bribe?

I am a Christian but all I see is idolatry.

Robnectar:
good day boss.... my phone was stolen at work.... someone told me u can track it for me.... plx help me..... as frustration and hanger is killing me here

Please contact me tomorrow. chatinent@gmail.com

Nigeria is not f-ing better than Canada in anyway!