A FOOL AT TWENTY

I Usain Boltishly rushed to the house, had my bath ( me that hated "baffing". "Aazin" that will be the last thing I would voluntarily do, except being coerced. But see me singingly "baffing". I was not done bathing when my elder sister shouted my name. Your friend is waiting for you, so hurry up, she narrated. Who will come looking for me this morning that I'm preparing to go see my love? I thought.

I rushed and came out, only to see my Enyi already waiting for me on the couch. When my eyes met hers, she grinned...Oh my God! I hazzz die, just receive my soul oh Lord, coz I'm in love. I rushed inside to dress up. Could it be because of the overdose of the charm, that this babe is just loving and following me everywhere? I'm now in charge. My Agamaquin did not disappoint, and I know it ain't gonna disappoint you either whenever you give it a try...Lol. At age 9, I was already a professor in womanology. Contact me for more lectures.

I wore my best non-Sunday cloth. I guess even my body will be surprised to see me wear clothes I only wear when visiting families and friends just to stay at home. Hilarious abi. I don't know if perfumes existed then. But I know I didn't wear any because I had no access to it. I came out girlishly blushing.

She was busy playing with a rubber band when I came out. Without really looking at me, she just told me her mum wants to see me. I asked why. I don't know, she answered. I was apprehensively over joyed at the prospect of meeting her mum. We went together. On arrival, I greeted her, and immediately she pleaded with me to help her unserious daughter with her maths homework. Since we we were in the same school, and I was a class ahead of her daughter, the woman believed I was equal to the task. "Mogbe, na so this my charm wan take embarrass me? ( This woman doesn't know that I hated maths from my mother's womb)


I was just fidgeting and silently praying that God should help me impress these people. Have mercy on your son. I know I'm a sinner ( I stole 3 meat from that stew. I ate part of the crayfish I was sent to buy that my mother seriously complained about how little it was. The Maggie, the sugar, my younger brother's cerelac, NAN I've been drinking. I didn't intend to do them ooo. It's the work of the devil. Even that girl I touch her Vag in the maize farm......). I was still lost in my prayers, when the exercise book was placed in front of me.

The long and short of it was that; my prayer was not answered. She ended up teaching me, when she noticed I didn't know anything (first-class olodo). She scored 1 out of 20. I kept dodging her.

My charm did not work, coz she never noticed me again, and during one of our night plays; she was told to choose her husband and take him to London (according to the lyrics of a song), she picked someone else. I was distraught and heart-broken abi heart-shattered ni. I later confronted and fought my friend who suggested the charm stuff to me. I no longer tried that stuff on any one. Perhaps you might want to try it out, you might just be lucky. Don't say I told you ooo, Lol.

They relocated to Vom, still in plateau state. I was too young to trace her. That was how I lost touch of her. There were no phones in that period. I only saw phones on TV. I later went to a boarding school (ECWA Secondary school Miango)

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Enyo: what made you want to work in a cafe?

Me: I just needed to be busy as I await NYSC, so I applied here after I was talked into it by Simi a co-worker.

Enyo: Woooooooow! Congrats so you are done with your HND abi degree ni.... Big boooooy.

Me: Forget that one jare. I nearly ran mad in that school because of frustration. So what about you now?

Enyo: Things haven't been rosy for me ooo...I wrote and passed jamb several times but not given admission. I just finished my ND and have applied for HND.

After I saw her off to her gate, I was about leaving, when she dragged me and made to kiss me; I just gently pushed her mouth one side and hugged her. I'm still a virgin, I can't start this now, I spoke to my self inwardly. But the guy in my trouser is saying otherwise. She (Enyo) mistakenly brushed the guy and felt its hardness. She just smiled and went inside.

I turned and started heading home, but my groin started slowing me down due to a painful sensation. My balls are hurting. I only felt a similar pain during the onset of puberty. I had to bend and walk like an aged gorilla. I gently managed to get home, avoiding anything that will exert the least force or pressure on me; I will just collapse ni oo. On opening the gate, Immediately I saw our dog running towards me and wagging its tail....

A FOOL AT TWENTY


I rolled from one side of the bed to the other, until I came into contact with my brother's fast sleeping body. I kept on rolling like a piece of mat and goatishly fantasizing about Enyo, until I no longer knew where I was or what was happening around me. I had slept off.

Early the next morning, we had the family morning devotion abi morning family devotion (anyone abeg) which I spent nodding like a full grown agama; my sister who was seated beside me occasionally pinched me until she got tired (nothing sweet pass early morning sleep wallai). After the prayer session, I went back to bed to finish settling the scores with that sleep. It took the intervention of a very hot slap from my sister (again) before I confusedly, angrily and lazily awoke. " is it because you are older than me that you will be slapping me every morning? I will revenge one day" I angrily and frogishly told her.

I began my assigned and routine house chore ( filling up 10 ugly barrels with water that will soon be used up or wasted in just a matter of hours). On that day, the state (Plateau state) water board refused to supply water oo. The tap (and its environs) in my compound was as dry as a desert. I had to use one of the pots in the house (as usual) to fetch water from a well a bit far from the house. I had to pass through enyo's compound before getting there. I had totally forgotten about her and the charm, until I saw someone peering through her window. I immediately injected more speed and energy to my work, so I could pass through the house more often to try and figure out the "peerer". Could it be Enyo? I "soliloquized".

I was almost done fetching the water, when Enyo called out my name from the window. I almost irrigated my pants ( the pants my aunt who was an apprentice tailor, sewed for me from the leftover of materials in her shop..No rubber, nothing..Pant will just be falling any how. Thank God I had two hands; one for holding pot handle and the other for holding pant through my trouser. ....Lol). Kilojoules of energy began streaming into my body. And the mitochondria in my 10 trillion cells began emergency production of fresh "Adenosine triphosphate" also known as energy to my muscles. The once lackluster Nengak, is now fully rejuvenated.

I asked every one in the compound who hasn't got enough water to bring out his/her water barrels outside. I instantaneously filled them up with great enthusiasm. Everyone was amazed. I cared less. All I know, is that I've found love. My charm is indeed working.

During one of my parades through Enyo's compound, she once came out and charmingly smiled at me. she almost sent me to my early grave. "Beeko!" let this girl not kill me before my time oo. I'm too young to die na.