₦airaland Forum

Oma307:
I can't believe this without proof

Lol....I can send it to you if you want.

Some one should help me upload the video then....Is there no way it can be done?
That it's too large

The video is not uploading now

A man's libido and excessive urge for sex landed him in trouble, after he visited and ashawo joint without money to offset the bill...He was given a very good taste of his medicine (embarrassed)..The woman was seen unclad, beating up the man. It took the intervention of passersby and some onlookers who helped to pay the woman before he was released.

This happened somewhere in the Eastern part of Nigeria.

some interesting facts about dreams * Every one of us have dreams during our sleep; but almost 90℅ of those dreams are forgotten.
*. Those who became blind after birth also have dreams during their sleep. They see objects, faces and other things they've seen and known before going blind.
* Those born blind also dream of things they've perceived and imagined.
* Even animals like dogs, cats and a host of others also dream when sleeping. You can sometimes see that when dogs jerk and make some strange sounds during their sleep. If you've not seen that before, observe your dog when it's sleeping.
* The body becomes partially paralysed during sleep, that's why you can not really act what you do in your dreams. It takes about 10 minutes for one to completely recover from the paralysis after waking up from sleep.
* After waking up from sleep, one should remain in bed for about one or two minutes before standing up and subsequently walking.
* Humans that live up to 65 years, spend about 6 years dreaming.
Now that you've read this, can you share your most bizarre dream experience?

Interesting facts about dreams

* Every one of us have dreams during our sleep; but almost 90℅ of those dreams are forgotten.

*. Those who became blind after birth also have dreams during their sleep. They see objects, faces and other things they've seen and known before going blind.

* Those born blind also dream of things they've perceived and imagined.

* Even animals like dogs, cats and a host of others also dream when sleeping. You can sometimes see that when dogs jerk and make some strange sounds during their sleep. If you've not seen that before, observe your dog when it's sleeping.

* The body becomes partially paralysed during sleep, that's why you can not really act what you do in your dreams. It takes about 10 minutes for one to completely recover from the paralysis after waking up from sleep.

* After waking up from sleep, one should remain in bed for about one or two minutes before standing up and subsequently walking.

* Humans that live up to 65 years, spend about 6 years dreaming.


Now that you've read this, can you share your most bizarre dream experience?

I had a dream in my dream that I was dreaming....

Let me buy something in the market, before I write mine...

Biglittlelois:
Reeks of disingenuous machismo and fake egotism on here.

This your English alone, will scare the living day light out of any guy that will come around you...You sound gentle, a woman of little words but extremely choosy....Guys wouldn't love looking at your face when trying to woo you, lest they become intimidated and jittery....

Apination:
I no dey ask pass once, no be pride

But you go first establish friendship na.....After that you ask....But if you just ask once, that means you just want to get your share of her honey pot and leave....That one na lust no be love. ....

ecstasy357:
Following... I really need to know what the best option is.

I met someone recently that I like but I don't wanna seem like a desperate guy, and I don't wanna appear like a stalker.

Anyway...I've decided to take a step back and hope that she will seek me out. I don't know if this is the best move

Not all ladies perceive and think the same way...All round niceness to the lady in question will help a lot...Make her feel and know how much of importance she is to you, through your gestures and your gists.....Text her more often. A lady might easily forget what you told her on the phone, but those breathtaking goodnight or good morning messages would go a long way in cementing your relationship...She will always go through those messages, though she may not tell you...Don't be stingy too...Don't just buy her edible stuffs alone, she will eat, poo and forget about it. Buy things that will make her remember you any time she sees or wears them.
If you are skeptical about asking her out one on one; your calls, gestures and messages should give her an idea...If she begins to give you an attitude, maturely and gentlemanly give her some space....Those wonderful gestures of yours will speak for you in the future....Don't cut off completely. Call or text her once in a while but on a casual basis. This will show the kind of person you are (you are always nice)...If she continues with the attitude, then bounce.. She's not worth the heart ache. She may or may not come looking for you... Always expect the latter and move on...

Note: Gestures alone might not be enough to make a lady love you....Tell her even if she gonna hate you...Some ladies might anxiously wait for you to say it, if you don't, they will move on with someone and continue seeing you as a nice casual friend with a kind heart...It's better you say it, so you wouldn't regret....I lost some of my crushes to my close friends because of sceptism and naievity....

kingkoboko:
Young man, I summon u 2my office immediately. Com here https://www.nairaland.com/1406518/how-beat-women & do d needful. I'm summonin u because u seem 2b d leader amongst ur circle of frnds.

That said, a man shudn't pursue a woman too much. Pursuing her too much shows desperation, idleness & ultimately weakness. No woman wants a man wit those 3 poor qualities.

Believe it or not, if u play d game well, women'll b d ones pursuing u sef because u hv d right mentality. If u want 2know more, com 2my office: https://www.nairaland.com/1406518/how-beat-women

Lol....I'm on my way....

PaddyX:
But you girls will later come round and say, this guy is disturbing you

True wallai....Some of them can even go to the extent of embarrassingly telling you, it will never happen even if she has no one to date....

Most of my gfs told me something similar to this...I honourably resigned and moved on (showed them that without them, life will still be fun)...After couple of months without calls,chat and visits, they will pretend to mistakenly call me (Na lie)...I always picked their calls as though I was picking the call of a stranger.."So you've forgotten me and have deleted my number abi" will be what they will say...
From then on, "na me go dey run away from them ooo"

Note: When I was persistent, I did it outstandingly (I made sure I made an indelible mark).. Anytime I go visiting I buy stuffs, I did things that ordinarily I wouldn't do to no one....She will be enjoying it, but yet she will be forming....When I get to the point I perceive she has started feeling my presence, enjoying my company and generosity ( though she still don't show it that much), I will instantly cut off, withdraw and disappear. After few weeks or months she will call....Me too go form na....

TonyeBarcanista:
In yesteryears a man will see or meet a woman, do some findings on her to establish that she is deserving and when/if satisfied with his report (and the report of her family character wise), he will shoot his shot. The girl for a reason or the other will most likely not yield at first (most times she wants to be sure that the man is worth it or she may have a pool of suitors asking her hand in marriage), and it is very common for the man to persevere and be persistent in his pursuit.

But nowadays, we are in age where most ladies place premium on material things and other factors. A girl that a man hasn't done holistic background investigation on to establish that she is deserving in attitude and character isn't worth the perseverance.

Ummmm.....This is deep....

Saffi:
Pride and ego is what kills most of you men before death.

Lol....

I live in the midst of friends that have always had varying opinions, about both serious and frivolous issues. They'd always argued on different issues, and I'm always seen as the judge with the final verdict, probably because I hate arguments (I can only argue football).

Yesterday, on my way to watch the champions league, I met them arguing on "persistence when trying to woo a lady".

1...One of them said, if he asks a lady out and she refuses, he will never go back to her again (that going back to her again will make her disrespect him even more. After all, their are many fishes in the river). Ladies hate guys who pester them

2....The other debater said, persistence shows how much you love her, no matter how she treats you. That this "never say die" attitude proves you are a real man. The ladies wouldn't want to look cheap, perhaps the reason why they drag for long. The patient dog they say, eats the fattest bone.

3...The last one said, he will combine both I.e he will persist and give her space to think. after a short while, he will come back. He believes, giving the space is to allow enough time to miss him.

As all of them were waiting for the verdict of the impartial judge (me), then we heard gooooooaaal!!!!..We forgot everything and hurriedly entered the viewing center.

They might likely remember the discussion and ask for my opinion...

So what's your opinion about the topic?

oscallins:
i will first of all, restructure the country, build sub ways and train stations, u can be living in enugu, and be working in abuja. and in other to achieve all this, i will silent some present and pass leaders. number one is obasanjo. pls i need ur suport to accomplish dis task

Hahahahahahahaha.....Last line...You are the funniest dude I've met in ages Mr. President...How do I support you then?

First of all, do you call this a good news or a bad news?

What will be your reaction after hearing the news?

See pic below....

RonKenoly:
Sale the country and share the money to everybody.

The sharing formula would be a reasonable one, and everybody would get enough to leave the country if you want to.

Ah ah now....Udonmeanit...U harsh ooo...Lol.

dejonathan:
I will invite all my fellow politicians to a meeting and bomb all of us at once,so that another set of politicians will rise

Hahahaha...I think this is the best I've seen so far..

Dangana1990:
I will excavate a river to pass Northern Nigeria from Lake Chad to Atlantic ocean, i will construct a water canal in all nigerian state, and alsoi will construct a fertilizer company. Finally, i will exterminate all terrorist BIAFRA, BOKOHARAM & KIDNAPPERS.

Lol... Do these and more, and you'll sure get a second term....Pls remain positive about your country...Let nothing or no one contaminate your good heart...

Cletus77:
Just support regional government and state resource control. States without resources, we will know how to do it so nobody feels cheated

And dissolve the central government or reduce its power by 60%

Wooow!!!...Nice one bro...You have great plans for ur country...

Toosure70:
Mumu.

Thanks...But why the insult?

You just go to bed and wake up the next morning, and realize that you are the president of your country. What will be the first thing you will do? Forget the protocols.

I was discussing this with friends and neighbours, and I got hilarious, heartbreaking and amazing answers...

Some one said, he will electrocute all the NASS members, Oshiomole, Lai Muhammad and Kyari etc. after they've served different punishment (frog jump, pick pin, thinking, pumping etc)

Another person said, he will go straight to CBN and ask for the safe and all the monies to be given to him. He will swim inside the money and then take them to his house.

Another one said, he will convert NNPC to his own property.

One said, he will make plans to execute different projects across the country. He would want to transform the country. But he will steal sha....

some one said, he will first faint out of surprise.

These and many more, were the response of some Nigerians.

What will be the first thing you will do as a President?

chukxie:
We're all here to learn new things on this platform.

Yea, true.

chukxie:
You're welcome ! I be learner ooo!

Lol

chukxie:
Little > less (comparative form ) > least (superlative form)
On / off to not have past tense forms.
Turn on / off > turned on/off ( past tense form)
The verb 'offed' means to kill intentionally or with premeditation.

Thanks for schooling me...Now I've learnt a lot...I think I should contact you when next I have problems with the lingua...

My best subject in school was biology... Reason: I loved nature and anything natural. I'd spend hours watching Animal planet.

I hated Mathematics and anything that had to do with calculation... Reason: I'm not good with numbers and anything abstract...

English can be so frustrating ooo...I am used to speaking the little English I know, but would sometimes want to impress some set of persons by garnishing it....

It's after blowing the grammar, that I will realize there is nothing like that..I just adopt and continue using in informal settings. Sometimes I speak them to save time.... At least they blend or fit in perfectly into my sentence.

1. Have you offed the light? ( have you turned off the light?)
2. I have onned my Bluetooth... ( I have turned on my Bluetooth)

Another one I blatantly use is "littlest" e.g

3. I use the littlest time I get in the office to pray.

So what is the past tense and past participle of "On and Off"
The comparative and superlative forms of "Little"

A man met me in the bank on Friday morning, and pleaded with me to help him fill out his withdrawal slip. I was hesitant because I was in a hurry, but finally accepted.

While filling the slip, I realized the man could not write his name or at least copy out his name written on his withdrawal slip . I asked him for every detail as I filled the slip.

This man was so unkempt and dirty. He looked so poor. But when he mentioned the amount to be withdrawn, I had to ask him again. "Millyan biyu, da dubu dari biyar" he said in Hausa. Meaning 2.5 million Naira.

Some of my friends said money is everything. That they prefer a stack illiterate with riches than a graduate (literate) without a job.

What's your take?