₦airaland Forum

Where's your location?
I'm interested if it's still available.

GarbaAudu:
This is very serious. Any of your neighbors living in duplex house? Please if there are duplexes around you, encourage the landlords to install lightening arrester on their roof top. It is very very important, it saves lives. It saves you from domestic accidents, particularly if you have poor electrical connection systems. It saves the community from unexplained deaths.
This Copper device (lightening arrestor) helps in attracting and evacuating any thunder within the vicinity. The high electric voltage associated with thunder will be dissipated deep under the earth.

Very well explained
Can't forget my physics lesson on the pear-shaped lightning conductors

Honestly Op, I had been thinking of this lately. Opening of schools in this rainy season may not be fair to children and vulnerable adults in this COVID-19 era, especially without a standard cure or vaccine to this virus.

Oga Lalasticlala please your attention is needed.

By the way, I am in the education sector. I know how the closure of schools is affecting me, but I think, he who has life and good health, gets a chance to learn.

zeb04:
At one point in marriage, the hot sex and mushy mushy disappears what is left is Respect and Friendship.

I use to worry about this word FRIENDSHIP. I wanted to force it on my husband coz I heard a lot a out it.

In my head friendship is talking and laughing 24/7. But my husband is "fluent in silence" content in just laying down and saying nothing.So I felt we didn't have friendship. But now I know better.

2ndly I believed only a Christian man can give you a good marriage. By Christian i mean going to church 2/3 times a week, participating in church activities, doing morning devotion and all,

A man with a good moral compass and also give you a good home. Don't force all of that on your partner. I still do devotions with my kids but go to church every Sunday (with my husband but I don't force him for this one. Secretly I think he is doing it as family bonding time not really for anything else. I will take it)

your marriage must not be like everyone else. I and my husband separated for 6 months when we hit our rough paths(every one said, in marriage you must stick together to work it out blah blah blah. ) how can yoh work it out in the same situation that is choking you. Even at work they give you leave days.


You cannot work it out in that situation. You need to take a break and look at it from the outside. If not you will completely get irritated and start to hold a grudge.

Nawaoo ,see how you just described both my early marriage expectations and present situation.
Looks like we both married two different men but with the same personality
The church going part got me laughing, seriously I only realized that it is some sort of family bonding time for my husband about two years ago. He may not be religious, but he is Godly.
This year is our 10th year anniversary.

I am not understanding you o, seriously.

I cheated, 1 year ago. Did I cheat yesterday? No. Will I cheat tomorrow? No.

What have I done wrong now? What have you said that i can say, "you are right"?

Am i in the bar right now? No. Will I be in the bar till 12pm midnight tonight? No. When last did i reach that time at the bar? Can't even remember but I think it was around February last year. Is it my habit of being at the bar till midnight? No. So if I want to at a random day, i cannot because I am married or what? Do people who stay at the bar till 4am get arrested for staying at the bar?

The wrong I did was 1year ago, make I kee myself for my past? The chat my wife saw yesterday was last year, with a married woman I saw last in 2010. Why is my wife insulting me?

Hey, my dear, typing this reply stopped me from reading the novel, I was reading.

Oops, i just called you a pet name, therefore, i have cheated on my wife, abi?.

I am confused o, please make me understand what wrong I did. The last year cheat, chat or the fact that I have female contacts in my phone? Or you want me to stop doing what i did last year common, there are reasonable people here o.

How am I wrong?

What does my family deserve from me? Kee myself or stay at home? Make them kukuma chain me to the bed now so they can be happy, abi.

Let's assume that you're no longer doing what you used to do in the past(while married),as per clubbing, keeping late nights, cheating, etc.
But are you aware that built up resentment in your wife has damaged her emotionally?

Going by your initial posts and responses so far, I believe you still see yourself as a victim, when it is the other way round.

Since you won't divorce your wife and free her from the emotional drains, you need to start amending your ways by
*stopping the emotional and physical cheating
"getting a job no matter how small the salary is, and keep yourself busy
"cutting down relationships with those friends who offer you women and pay for hotel rooms
*try to earn back your wife's trusts by your actions and inactions.
" set your path with God right and be both spiritual and physical head of your family.

baldman:
Dear Poster,

It is not quite clear why you posted this, but I will take it that you just wanted to rant, and perhaps scout for comments to justify your gross irresponsibilities. Luckily for you, your post will attract some hard truths from the good men and women in this community, and I am hoping you will look beyond the abuses and just learn as people objectively tell you the truths about yourself which you have failed to acknowledge. As I already hinted, you are a grossly irresponsible married man, and in all honesty, I doubt if you could be a good father in the real sense of the word. You come home late, you drink, you chastise your wife in the presence of your house girl and children, you do everything to pull her down, and you indeed tried to convince us that this very real woman is some retard that you did the favour of marriage. I want you to imagine the scenario in your home as you painted in your post, and transform it into a Nollywood movie, how will you judge your own character? You are definitely not the victim, your wife is the victim. She married a man that is self-absorbed, and needed a mumu wife. You loved the fact that she deferred to you and you had to provide leadership in all aspects, but that became a burden in marriage and you became irritable because of it. The truth is that when you marry a woman, you marry the whole package that she represents, and your responsibility is to build her up, first with your mouth, then with your action, patient guardians, and also by providing support. I am sure having the house maid has helped greatly to ameliorate some of her incompetences. Your responsibility is to help her, build her up, and for God sake, be faithful to her. Your woman is a rarity, you have been jobless, irresponsible, unfaithful, unaccountable and your judgments have been poor, honestly, you made some money and you just paid up your debt and start accruing afresh, what happened to using some or all of that money to start something? Most of your wife's behaviours are in reaction to your unfaithfulness and illicit affairs. It is your wife that we should be begging not to dissolve you, that woman will do well without you and the risk of STDS which you represent. You have been breaking her heart with all those chats that you think you are having for fun. Did you expect her to be falling in love with you, or be recovering from her alleged madness while you are doing those things? My words may be harsh but imagine your wife is your daughter and all you have said is coming from a son in law?
I agree with you that it is likely that the kind of life you are leading may be responsible for your ill-luck and I want to implore you to retrace your step, move closer to God, love your wife as christ loves the church as implored by the bible, and begin to live a decent life. You also need to change your friends immediately; they can get girls and hotels for you, they can buy beer for you, they can give you some occasional bail out, but they cannot help with money for you to start something constructive, they are no good friends. If you continue the way you are leading your life, that 'useless' woman will one day realize that she can live without you.

Thanks for this!!

pocohantas:
RIP to him.

I don’t really know him, but I know his wife with her very weird makeup and fashion sense.

Lady Nkiru Anumudu, her fascinators and geles no be here.
Rest in peace, Sir Anumudu!

@ Op, get your facts right. There had been three ladies featured as Miss Peppeiye in the Papa Ajasco comedy series, though I don't know their real names, but Kehinde Bankole was never one of them.

sapientia:
Covid 19 will reshape Nigeria.

Truthfully written.....I hope our leaders would go back to the basics.
I hope that this COVID-19 pandemic would open our eyes to the fact that we have no place to run to except our Motherland.

And that we all do what we can to make it a paradise on Earth.

That God's Mercy abounds in Nigeria and Africa as a whole. Look at Ebola outbreak.. and now COVID-19....much as the developed nations think the number of death would have spiralled by now.... God's Grace is all I see.

Are you Hugeman or Ahec?

Not easy as it sounds.
Homeschooling children is very good so far their social life with other kids/ people is well balanced.

Can be very exhausting especially when you have more than one kid, and you are also your own house keeper.

flamingREED:
The pure kindness that I exude;
The awesome peace in my spirit;
The joy I have, which sweetens the hearts of others;
The undying and endless love that has surrounded me; and much more
IS THE PICTURE OF MY HEAVEN.

If you're still in doubt, just wait if you can wait.
One day, I will show you a material picture of my heaven.

I don't like atheists quoting me in vain.
None of you can subdue the wisdom of God in me.

Don't quote me again, I won't reply.
It's for your own good.

GOD'Sswordsman.

Though the world may fade....Lord I love you!
@ Explorers, the pictures of the people communicating in isolation with their loved ones, the new born baby, breaks my heart

victorian:
But God can.

This is a period to differentiate between Church, Pastors ,Imam, and God.

Enough of Pastors taking the glory of God as their own.

Science can't eradicate the virus
Churches can't eradicate the virus
Pastors can't eradicate the virus , even Imams and the Occult.

This situation is beyond human reasoning.

Las Las we shall all turn to God and be at His mercy for protection.

The Virus is a deep message to all humans on earth.

God's supremacy cannot be mocked. That's exactly what we are experiencing at this period.


Even the Pakistans have turned to God in tears.

I love this!
I feel for people already been affected by this virus.....but I love the fact that people of the earth would really know that by this, that only Jesus can save!

Humphrizy:
In onitsha

Where in Onitsha?
Can I get the lists/makes of laptops and their prices?

Maxymilliano:
Scientist and Virologist should look into the viability of this 300 Gallons against Covid.

May be 1 teaspoon 3X a day can stop and kill the virus.

Yuck.....grosssss.....

happney65:
I advise that you divorce him. Even if you must cheat,cheat responsibly..Sleeping with different women without condoms isnt too good..My take

Which one is cheat responsibly?
What is responsible about cheating?
Mind the kind of advice you dish out, some people here are gullible.

mascot87:
Seems no human face anywhere in the world again. Today is my birthday & since around 3 am I have opened a thread regarding this for someone. Just one person to make me happy but no one, everyone just dey mind their business. Seems people don't care about others again or show love to others again. This is a sign of end time I guess. This is sad

Eeeyaa.... many many beautiful years ahead!

loshybab:
PS:people sabi use big grammar insult sha

As in ehhhh, nawaooo..

crackkhaus:

Sincerely, she really deserves the kisses!(but keep off, crackhaus!
@ merhaki, why do I have this feeling that I know you outside nairaland? Chi.....
If you're the one, you're one hell of humility, kind-hearted and intelligent personified!
@ op, listen to merhaki, doctors have nothing to prove to anyone by conforming to the societal's ideal lifestyle for a doctor. Live your dreams but consider your partner too.

I myself, wouldn't want to squat with anyone who was once my enemy. You can travel first, clear the coast for your immediate family before bringing them to the UK.

tripplephi:
SOLUTION:

Get married but stay SINGLE. Let the ANKO(same clothe wearing tradition) stay with just clothes.... LIVE YOUR LIFE NORMALLY.... attachment is not the goal of marriage but COMPANIONSHIP, RESPONSIBILITY, HOME BUILDING, VALUES, SHARING MOMENTS, etc. But none of those things should ROB you of your individuality o.

Be able to be WHOLE whether your spouse is available(emotionally, financial, sexually,relationally) or NOT.

The concept of 'BETTER HALF' is false and its wrong. NO ONE IS BETTER of anyone... We are both WHOLE and only break into one another when we FUSE in the union called marriage.

Meaning MARRIAGE IS MEANT TO BREAK YOU, break your ego, pride, or any thing that you may not have known was not really nice, it is in marriage we see ourselves through the eyes of another and begin to make some amends.


Change is necessary hence it should not be feared but be prepared for, know the limits of CHANGE. Any CHANGE that CHAINS you is slavery, break free from it. The CHANGE marriage is meant to bring, is supposed to be the one that will make you at your BEST SELF.

So sir, yes, you can go for conferences alone, your wife too may do her own thing with other good women AND there you will have your free "single" space for that period... then you will miss her and long for her... That is the beauty of the union and it goes both ways.

I couldn't agree less, you said it all.

Olukoso1:
Sent already

Seen! I appreciate!

Why the fuss about the 'arrest'?
When she would soon be given amnesty and VIP banquet, with a placement in the the NA.

Abeg, COVID19 is in town, let's prepare for the worse.

irepnaija4eva:
Bro please open a new topic on this finding...
Make we push am for front page...


Leave those bad tards Turing this news into a tribal war...

Was going to ask him.

Now I'm beginning to believe the conspiracy theorists!

Olukoso1:
Published in the 80s - almost 40years now

Now, this is serious!

Olukoso1:

Prevention, they say, is better than cure...
But no, the Nigerian government decided to show the whole world how foolish they are.

Meanwhile, check out what I came across today...

Nawaooo..... when was that book published?
I need to see the book, the E-version. Thanks in advance

Daviddson:
Lol. Lip sealed; funny thread but quite factful.

BTW the intro is funny o: "Handsome is the ACT of a male having good look"

the "ACT" in the definition.. rotflmao

Forgiveness has always been my watchword.
Tolerance, selflessness, not taking advantage of the vulnerable side of my spouse.
Loving my husband's family from afar, because before marriage, I learned that over familiarity breeds contempt.
Minding my business also has helped me a lot, not trying to please anyone, but doing what is right.
I also love serving people in the extended family settings, but I don't stretch my limits. I know when to call it quits and turn a deaf ear and blind eyes to issues that drain both physically and emotionally.

And lastly, my husband cannot make me change my principles both financially, spiritually and otherwise. I will never cheat on my spouse.
I am enjoying my marriage though we have our uproar moments.
The moment my marriage becomes life threatening, I am going to call it quits.

Oblitz:


Even the most staunch Christian is not faithful to God, how much more their spouse.
I just know one thing, everybody cheats.
If you're a detective like me, you'll never get married.

I totally disagree with some of your statements, Not everybody cheats!
I have never cheated on my husband and will never cheat on him no matter what. I will quietly call it quits with him if I cannot tolerate him anymore.
And I know a lot of people who have never cheated on their spouses too

Your being a relationship detective can be quite emotionally draining, blood pressure shooting-up and also time consuming.
Please save yourself the unnecessary stress and remain celibate.

My second dream:
I saw myself dishing out all the food in my pot to my hungry students, even though I hadn't fed my family. My house help tried to warn me about their daddy not been served yet, but I told her not to worry, since the young girls are very hungry, we should feed them first. So we started boiling another pot of rice, then I woke up.
Please interpret. God bless