₦airaland Forum

Op - thanks for sharing.
Very nice and enlightening.

Hopefully the concerned will listen and make use of these pointers.

Optimall:
This is nice...

Meanwhile that's my signature.

Signature - really?

OP - thanks so much for sharing.

More-so both wives and husbands will greatly learn something out of this.

Moderator - can this be moved to front page please?

Belexy95:
Very inspiring quote!

Yes - very inspiring.
And I found the message to be so true to most people.

As in we play small sometimes because we are afraid of what others will say should we decide to do the things that we really want in big ways.

Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson

it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Lots of sense.

When you walk in the rain should you complain of getting wet?

Big lie lie.

She's not even in my top ten.

This is what happens when you have read too much of Mills and Boom.
Then you think what are being painted in those books are really in reality - wake up dear.

Don't judge all by few ones that have disappointed you.

buygala:
KILL YOUR WIFE AND MARRY YOUR 'FIANCEE'

When you are tired of the new wife, kill her too and marry a new one .......Continue that way until the wife is wise enough to kill you and marry another husband



Anyway...

Your religion, your polygamy, your business


But the graphic pishures I will see when your wife murders you or you murder her is definitely my Business

... and what if the guy decides to carry-out your advice?
Then we say it's the devil whereas you have just played the devil.

The moderator should have deleted a post like this - it's careless.

OP, I completely agree with your views and i am somewhat enlightened by your post.
There are many factors contributing to this kind of situation and mostly only known to those in the affected relationship/marriage.

Truth is; if just 50% of our ladies today reason at just 50% your level; there probably won't be any need for this thread - but nay!

I speak to a lot of couples regularly and some of my observations are as below;

Complete truthfulness is something that most ladies today don't practise but they preach and also want from guys.
If you are not truthful to yourself you can't be truthful to another - and trust we can say is becoming a lost virtue.
You can't by any means deceive your partner into marrying you and you want the relashionship to remain the same after the truth is revealed later. Absolute trust becomes an issue and on that many other issues will follow.

The level of ignorance displayed by a larger part of this generation is really annoying and alarming, especially on relationship and marital fronts.
People can always change and an angel today can be the devil tomorrow BUT the situation must be properly understood so that the right solution can be implemented, we can always bring a derailed situation back on track only if we know and rightly take care of the root cause.

Proper home training is lost and this is essentially the main problem BUT people can always regenerate as long as we have a good standard to measure up with. Who are our mentors these days If you want to be a Queen you should get coaching from someone who knows about royalty.

Trust and happiness; if you make your partner have these in you - he/she will worship you for ever.

I read this book recently and i recommend it for couples and anyone in a relationship - it will greatly improve things for you.
"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman

My simple advise is - if you are not happy in any relationship/marriage; try to change/improve the situation and get necessary help needed.
But if after doing all possible and the situation is unchanged - simply change the relationship before the relationship changes you to a stranger to yourself.

If you are however afraid of the consequences of change - maintain status quo without complain.

mollysteeze:
Over the years, in what is a total paradigm shift from the values a lot of our mothers had (well at least some), the "other woman" has now become tolerable. I am not sure when along the way it happened, and no one remembered to send me a memo but it appears to now be the norm.

I always have some nagging urge to blatantly say "No babe, it is downright unacceptable", when my friends broach me on this subject, but you end up being the friend who likes to break up homes because she's not married yet. People say if I was in those shoes I would feel differently.

Well Maybe.

However, no matter how much shame I would feel, I knew myself before I got married, my values remain my values, knowing my self-worth is what shapes every corner of my life and that is the core of me. To change now or later would be to deny who I have been for 26 years. While I am never an advocate for divorce, I have realized people do not change overnight.

A year back, my friend's boyfriend told her he was confused who to pick between her and two other girlfriends. Well she fought for "her man". Trouble is today they are married, and he's still seeing one of the other girls, who he has now rented an apartment for in Nigeria, and he's here half the year.

I've realised, the people who complain about there husbands or fiance throwing some other woman in their face mostly had an inkling they were cheats while they were dating. They were the ones who fought of five other girls to get their man. But the question is, if when you were dating there were five of you, why do you think today he would be satisfied with one. I have no doubt in my mind, everyone has an idea of things their partners are capable of in their subconscious, the trouble is a lot of us convince ourselves to believe some other truth that better suits our wants.

My mama has taught me, life is too short to jump into something you can't tolerate all your life, the sole reason for sharing your life with someone and giving up your freedom should be because they make you happier than anyone else in the world. Do not compromise your values or one day you would wish you had not.

But then, on the flip side, if you like smelling some other girls perfume on your man and having your kids run into daddy and "Aunty Bintan, the side chick" at the hotel near their school then go right ahead.

Trust issues - in any form.

Crap!!!
Tomorrow, just try make one wrong move outside the guy's limits and "you are fired!"
The car and all will be taken from you.

Advice; make your own money - with the support of your man maybe - and then buy a car of your dream - in your own name.
Then shout to the world !!!

cocoberry:
"Women r considered fragile, but I ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man's EGO" pele!

So very true.

OP - she will calm down later and appreciate you for apologising to her.
You have respected her by doing that and a sensible person will know that.

otherwise, just maintain - there is nothing to regret.

@Mr President should have declined giving her the opportunity to sit with him like this - irrespective of whatever function she was meant to play at the event.

That would have taught both the stupid girl and the event organizers a big lesson about decency.

That's the way elders teach errant children.

This opinion of mine is to whom it may concern.

1) Virgin OR not - does not mean you are trustworthy, faithful, decent, clean, deserving of special respect or treatment, etc.
This age, chastity has gone beyond the level of virginity alone and many other virtues MUST be displayed to be counted as A+ in a relationship. Guys/girls who still think virginity is a virtue should really grow-up. Far gone were the days !

My point here does not mean you do not deserve to be repected if you are a virgin or have kept yourself for your man BUT not on the ground of being a virgin alone.

I know many ladies who claim to be virgins and they still engage in other forms of sexual escapades like sexting, masturbation, phone intimacy, etc BUT penetrative sex. If you need me to further break this down - grow-up!

2) Some girls were raped/abused and they lost their virginity through this evil - should we say they have been immoral ? If virginity is then a virtue should we then say that they have lost the glory ? - I beg to disagree.

3) Girls - If you choose to keep your virginity or not is a choice - it does not in anyway reduce your respect or values. It does not in the same way make you special than the other girls who have lost their's willingly or otherwise.

4) Girls - know the real virtues that matter and build yourself up with them and you are a star - irrespective of your virginity status.
Some of such virtues are here listed -

>>> Joyful, Peaceful, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-control, Selflessness, Forgiveness, Intelligent, Wisdom, Humility, Caring, Supportive, Understanding, Sincerity, Integrity, Hardworking, Ambitiuos, Contentment, Gratitude, Considerate, Modest, Friendly, Courtesy, Loyal, Hospitable, Courage, Purposeful, Co-operative, Trustworthy ... and so on.

Good luck.

OP,
Some good points you have BUT i still think this is relative.
Some of them babes just want to see you in your true form - best of it anyway.
Too much packaging just to impress can be deceptive - and - when you eventually slip up and the true you is revealed - Very risky !!!

Players don't mind the risk though - cos most girls too will always be Girls!

temigracie: ...I ll simply turn back and leave....

...Wen she dial her number, i ll pick it and ask her to come collect it somewhere very far....

....Wen we c, am gonna talk some sense into her.....

100% correct and best thing to do.

Orikinla: From being a tutor and interviewer, I know that majority of vocational students are intellectually re-tarded.
They lack intellectual comprehension.

In education, you are what you have chosen to be. And majority of students in Nigeria are lagging far behind intellectually.

Many so called graduates are as well "educated illiterates"
We have it both ways.

Somebody once said that "the real focus of education should be in shaping peoples character and enhancing their intelligence"

Like GentleMimi said, condition and the process by which your were brought-up/raised affect a lot what you believe about life
and everything else and eventually what you become.
Mentality on the other hand is like a skill that you can learn and unlearn at any point in life
based on your changing knowledge and understanding in the journey of life.

That said, OP you have raised a very good point and the earlier this generation understand this simple fact the better.

Paradigm must change and the now most importantly !!!

Op.
Think carefully b4 you make a promise unless you are sure to keep it.
If a girl wants this kind of assurance b4 giving it to you then there may be more to it for her.
You could be making a covenant indirectly and then problems will come if you break your promise.
For me, it is not worth it.

E be like say you too don dey pester her over intimacy?
Monkey and banana !!!

what is your stand? is it right or wrong to cook?

simply_me: and this is someone who sees your unclothedness and sleeps with you on a daily basis.
So what's moral about cooking for him? Nonsense.

OP.
entertainment industry IS NOT a system where grammar is being taught.
The shows could be educative sometimes BUT doesn't have to be always.
They just entertain in any form and that's it !

If you are really versed here you will notice as well that the foreign shows are not that better because they
make the same grammatical mistakes sometimes.

However communication ISN'T just about speaking or writing good english --- as long as you can pass your message across and the meaning is understood --- you have communicated.

Can someboby explain to me the fate of such a child The STIGMA ?
Just assume you were the child and you have been told the story, imagine your friends at school jesting and all ...
Can you damn such consequences
This is a wicked world and people will wake you up every morning with reminders about the story,
even your family members will ... JUST FEW PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND

Imagine the child wanting to run for a political office in future

chris baba: well, this is pretty a messed up situation, but you dont have to give up, dont do no abortionns anymore or else you will die, confess to whoever and damn the consequences, repent of your sins and let jesus forgive you. Have your child and nurture him, live your life and move on, its hard but the truth about life is that hope is never ever totally lost because we have God who cares for us regardless of our filthy sins.

For the sake of the yet unborn child... please abort the pregnancy.
History will not forget and have it easy on him/her.

Do not think you can keep this a secret, it is impossible !!!
Fate has it that the baby would look like the father and then people will naturally know the truth.

Don't tell no family because you won't be able to live with the reaction and condemnation

Abort and never sin no more !!!
Flee from that you useless cousin !!!

"where there is no expectation, there is no disappointment"
Marriage is no bed of roses, it is come rain come shine ...
Bad days and good days, rough paths and smooth ones ...

There are skills to be learnt to really make everything work in Marriage. Sacrifice and selflessness the key !
It is not something you leave to chance and you must be ready to daily improve.

Watch out, married people who are making it work are truly responsible people.

even my 3yrs old child can not tell me most of these things, as a joke or excuse
how can you now imagine a grown-up, adult, literate maybe, would say these to the boss

very well said.

Slim Shawty: I know three teenagers(siblings) in my church who're orphaned.When their parents died,they were left with nothing.The members of the church took responsibility.
The eldest gained admission into Covenant University,under the sponsorship of the church.The two younger ones attend good schools here in ph,under the sponsorship of the church.Infact,you'd never believe that they're orphans.
Every quarter of the year,there's a samaritan week in my church.Clothes,shoes,foodstuff,and money are given to the poor and needy.Sometimes,collective units in the church take it upon themselves to start up businesses for those who lack capital to do so on their own.
And there's also the church bursary that comes up every year...infact the list is endless.
Not all pastors are wont to televise,or announce their charity works with gongs and loud trumpets.Some prefer to do it quietly.
And as for the church members...who told u they're suffering?Have you ever walked past a church compound and wondered if it's a car shop or if there's a car sale going on there?? I have.Lotsa times,trust me.
As far as I'm concerned,churches are trying,even more than the government.Shikenah.

Many people in here are hypocrites and it is indeed shameless that we can still be biased along ethnic and religious lines at this age.
What is wrong about questioning the activities of the religious bodies ??
Is man made for religion or religion was made for man

Christians in here, like myself, should be more open minded and deal with realistic perspectives instead of sentiments that will benefit us not.

This is not a bad question in its self even though the intention may be questionable

The truth however is that most christians today have allowed themselves to be enslaved by religion even when the Bible says
" You should question all spririts ..."

Why has the minister not openly question the NCAA
She is not competent enough for this position and that on its own is a fact.
She has tried to rEmodel the infrastructure and not the MENTALITY AND MINDSET OF THE PEOPLE IN AVIATION TOWARDS TRUE PROFESSIONALISM.

politics and tribalism aside, we truly need a change in the aviation ministry and it must start from the top.
She should resign.

IGBO-SON:
^^^If anything, it's someone at the NCAA that has questions to answer......who's heading that agency again?

They have learnt well from Nigerians on lynching.
This is how they treat suspected criminals without due justification, so barbaric.

Of what value then is their apologies when only they are following the footsteps of Nigerians in the trend.

Treat yourself in the exact manner that you want others to treat you !!!

Yes she should resign BUT with all the senate members in the committee for Aviation matters !!!!
Aviation is one sector where politics should not overshadow PROFESSIONALISM.
Zero tolerance for mediocrity and low level performance.

I have just finally decided to quit this forum as it does not satisfy my personal values any longer.
I have enjoyed it while it lasted and thanks to you all.

Areas though I wish Seun will improve ±. 1. Please get better moderators for the ROMANCE section and create quality and value there by ensuring that only sensible threads are opened. I have seen really shameful threads given audience in here and that's because there is no standard and quality measure.
2. You in a way allow people to behave abnormally and in uncivil manners because anything goes. If there are no rules that are strictly observed don't you think there would be chaos in the world? Some silly people here are allowed to talk shit and even open threads for rubbish without proper checks. Won't they also think they have brains and even drown the voice of those that should be heard?

See you at the top !!!