₦airaland Forum

IZUKWU. I dey enjoy this your love story o! With the much you have added to the story now I think you're having a clear picture of where you stand in the drama. "She came to your house @6am to tell you some stories about her life which you didn't know b4 (and maybe for some early AM slamming too right?)" After the story and all, what is the bottom-line na? She wants to stay with you or go back to her ex? I think she thinks she owe the ex a lot of gratitude in any way!

@OP many thanks! Somebody to please call Tisabone, she needs this the most on Nairaland. LOL.

@OP, Simply put "She ain't your babe no more coz she's gone back to her vomit" You were just filling the void. You acted all right by not dragging anything with the old bf. I would not blame the old bf though to still want his package back. It was your babe who brought the insult upon you. Just leave her and hold your respect b4 she brings the bad news.

@poster. Don't mind most of the people here telling you to leave a girl u claim you love dearly. What happened was just a misunderstanding and end a good relationship just like that. You knew she is temperamental all along and you still loved her. After all is said and done -- It your life and only your choice of action and decision that matters. I hope you will not spend the rest of you life thinking "oh I should have begged her" believe me -- SOME MEMORIES NEVER END. If you love her still, pls go for your girl and work things out. She too would have realized her mistakes. From what I have observed here "Most Nairalanders don't know jack about LOVE" !!!

If you ain't then you have something to hide or you have low self-esteem.
If you get so intimate without clothes on, what is the big deal about bathing with your partner?

Most people who don't like this are not just proud of their bodies and then they shy away.

I love doing it and the feeling is always good!

Poster ---
Did you sample ladies' opinions on this OR this is basically your opinion?
You are right anyway ---- 110% !!!

@poster.
More than 30-times u said she had done that before and you did not react, then she goes calling you a weakling?
1. Now she knows you are no weakling as you have just defined the boundary clearly.
2. You are not a woman beater -- sometimes you need to do that to drive home your point.(she must learn to trust you but only if u are TRUSTWORTHY)
3. She is suprised for sure that you could hit her but also maybe she's hurt! Please keep begging and don't stop! call, text, visit ... don't give up.
4. Don't ever beat your woman again no matter what!!! Instead try to just escape the scene just has you tried doing before you went back inside?
You will feel better when you return and probably she too would .
5. When a woman is angry, really angry i mean, she can say a whole lot of things just out of emotions --- You just try to do the exact opposite at that point in time. E.g. If she says you are stupid and a liar, just calmly say she is beautiful and you love her more. Just try to be funny and make the issue irrelevant, don't be defensive!!
6. You love her dearly -- prove it more now than ever before -- but don't promise you won't hit her again (a leverage to keep in mind)

"The heart that loves is also capable to hate, but hatred needs only to be provoked" !!!

NCC can not help because they are just useless!!!
My frustration about this got to the breaking-point 2months ago. I simply just transfered all my contacts on the Airtel sim to my Glo and abandoned the line since then. One day when maybe your prayer is answered, please announce here so that i can maybe use the Airtel sim again, only if i must anyway!

You are back again with another inconsistent claims and assumptions. It was same you who came here about wanting to be a 5th baby mama. Now is about saying "NO" to some guy with a benz and what is the big deal about that anyway? @ 23 I think you should be doing more of learning than experimenting about life. You're obviously too naïve to be talking about topics like this.

@poster, for a man to pRopose marriage means he loves you at least and that feeling also matters to him. He failed your test and now you want him outta your life? You must be very young and have many suitors hence you can be casual about what is an heartbreak for him? I pity this victim of your cruelty.
If he doesn't match your expectation at least tell him off politely, with time he will accept his faith,

Chris Aires ad is very dynamic and splendid. The message is simply about "TIME" being the essence of our journey in life. "The only thing that is guaranteed in life is that we are born and we will die" and what happens in-between is a function of TIME.

Severe all ties with that your friend. Me think the guy doesn't respect you as a friend. But you said he's not the only friend lusting after her, just that he pronounces his thoughts more than others. Is she extremely beautiful or does she dress provocatively? In any case, admiration is one thing but Lust is another. Keep your disrespectful friends away from your home. You should talk to your mum too if you think she attracts this kind of attention one way or the other.

@poster. Nairaland isn't the best around, quite true! Lagbook will also not be everything to everyboby.
And if Lagbook gives you everything why are you stll here?

Don't criticise other people's ideas, only you can suggest ways to improve and that's only if you must!

I for one love this planet called Nairaland and the wonderful people living in it !!!

@firestar, apocalypse, rokiatu and IFELEKE. You all have compiled my best love songs.

The below are however still missing.

1. Because I love you ---- by Shakin Stevens
2. There You'll be --- by Faith Hill
and then ----
3. If you're not the one --- by Daniel Beddingfield
4. Differences --- by Ginuwine
5. Angel --- Lionel Richie
6. Nothin's Gonna Change my love for you --- by George Benson

@ Ondo_boy, did you take the wrong pill? what have you done here?
I just can't stop laughing sooooo long and loud.

@OP, this is to show you how adaptive a good player could be. Mikel Obi is a good footballer.
He can adapt to any demand from any coach, in that he is unique.

If Messi and CR7 were not helping their teams win matches with the way they play, no team would love to have them.
The coach determines how a player plays to help the team achieve it's objective. It is not about individuals displaying their talents all the time.

JM did not destroy Mikel's talent, he used him to achieve just exactly what he (Jose Mou))wanted, like he does Pepe now.
That is pure management. You use the resources available to you to achieve your goals and objectives.

As a footballer, you are lucky if you have a coach who would help you be you, provided you deliver the goods!

These doctors have been so unreasonable by embracing strike instead of dialogue in the first place. You cannot hold people to ransom because your job is important, that is unpatriotic. In what way are they better than Policemen and Soldiers who daily loose their lives while defending the nation? Why are those not going on strike or they not Nigerians? Fashola is a real leader and has taken a leadership decision not a political one! I would sacrifice few (788 greedy doctors) to save 17million Lagosians. Fashola is working !!!

@poster. Thanks a lot for this piece. Very greatly true indeed!!! @pro01, u sure need to expand your research on this. IQ is very important but not the ultimate as we do think mostly. EQ,BQ and MQ are all rated more than IQ as must have to succeed. " It is your Attitude that determines your Altitude" this saying explains why MQ and EQ are important. You can never take good decisions if your BQ is not in order. I once did a research on what is common to most successful business owners, Successful Leaders and Managers and one of my findings was just this topic. "Talent (IQ) is not enough but attitude is everything" This is why some guys you know so well that are low on IQ but very high on MQ, EQ move up the ladder in their careers better than those high on IQ. It may not be 100percent true in all cases but it is 90percent true all the time that those high on BQ,EQ and MQ lead or manage those that are only high on IQ. Thanks again poster.

Politicians should earn like civil servants then all these nonsense and unpatriotic demands would have no premise.

People pls wake up. There was nothing fake about the call, it was real! Why would BH wait till after 48hrs to denounce the call. Now that FG has threatened to expose the BH sponsors, now they come out to deny the call. They all know what they are doing and we are just like toys to them, even the FG. Now FG will no longer expose them and they will no bomb lagos and core Abuja. We are all sitting on a keg of gunpowder!!! Hold your corner tight!!!

@ OP. What exactly do u intend gaining from this thread? Are you persecuting tithe-preachers and tithe-payers? Nobody is forcing you to tithe I would believe. With the knowledge you have about this topic if it does not appeal to you to pay then DON'T and HOLD YOUR PEACE. You belabour yourself for nothing on this! Different luck for different folks -- "Every man would work out his/her own salvation" .

This is just a bargaining chip. They talk too much and end up doing nothing. Expose if you must, we dont need you telling us you will!!! When USA wanted to kill OBL did they come out to say "we will soon kill Osama Bin Laden?? Stupid idiots!!!

Rule no1 about breaking-up ---- SPEAK THE TRUTH AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH !!! There is no need to pretend or be a coward. Breaking up doesn't mean you are a bad person! -if you lie to break-up then you are CHILDISH! The victim loves the truth so that they can learn and not make the same mistake again. From experience I know the victim deserves to know the True reason even if they don't appreciate it at that moment due to emotions. If your mind is made up to break-up after all efforts to mend failed, then do it and help the both of you! I have never regretted breaking-up and I you do regret then the decision was not really right then or maybe you deceived!!! Only the truth will set your mind free and that's why I really don't look back afterwards. Speak the truth and be true to yourself and you won't feel any guilt. Godspeed!!!

The level of maturity of the victim will determine HOW to go about it. If I know you are sulking type, I'll visit you at home and really be casual and playful, and then "I'm here to actually discuss something very important with you, WE NEED TO BREAK-UP". Shock I really don't leave anything till another day, how you react to the news determine if you will hear my reason(s) or not. In any case once its done its done, I don't look back! .... Imaging why the victim's house and nowhere else For the hard ones --- "Anywhere is the right place" for me but " I will simply tell my reasons why I don't see us going further and walk" no room for repairs at this point! If you're not up to it don't start! Ii don't break-up without good reasons.

Wisdom speaks!!! 50+ died in Yobe yesterday and no much noise. RIP Yekini. You really made your mark and history would remember you for good!!!

NLders, pls just pay your last respect and shut up. No stories about he was abandoned by anybody or government, does it matter now? Who amongst you story tellers ever opened a thread for him b4. I only remember he took Nigeria to the first WC and scored Nigeria's first goal at a WC toney. RIP.

1. What was her reaction after the man revealed his identity?

@OP. You place more emphasis on the wedding and not the marriage! What is actually your role as a wife to be? Are you not suppose to be supportive of your hubby? You should have offered to assist him without being asked, knowing fully well his situation. A good wife would not advise her husband to borrow for wedding and then put the marriage under heavy financial strain. Who says a wedding MUST be elaborate if you cannot comfortably afford it What is evn wrong in you SUPPORTING your hubby to finance your wedding? It is not wrong at all. He would even love you more!!! Please don't put unnecessary pressure on this guy, assist him as far as you possibly can and don't look back. Give him the money as your contribution to the wedding. He will only adore and respect you more as a wife. Godspeed!!!

@ harakiri.
Thanks for your analysis about my post. Very impressive and i admire your intelligence.

Everything in life is a choice!!!
Not choosing or not having a choice is also a choice.

Being frustrated is a choice because you can choose not to.
Giving-up on life is a choice --- you can choose not to.

Irrespective of your location in life --- "We all can change our lives by using the power of the mind"

I changed the course of my life the day i decided that "if i dont make it in life, it is my fault"
When i fail i dont blame nobody but me. Not the goverment or family. I rule my world in partnership with GOD!!! That's just me anyway.

I happen to have been there done that and I also have helped alot of people through that same road many times before.
To be successful, you must know the recipe for success, just like a chef knows the recipe for all kinds of dishes.
You can not be successful by luck!! Preparedness + opportunity = LUCK.

There is a place called "the Beginning" which does not determine "the End".
It is what happens in-between that matters. If you MUST succeed, then you MUST not give up.
Courage, discipline, sacrifice, humility, are some of the virtues one must possess to be successful in life.

Reading is my hubby as you would have noticed and it does me a whole lot of good. the ROI is very high for me.
One of my personal slogans "If the mind is not defeated, the battle is not lost" Battles of life are lost/won first in the mind.
You must have a goal and you must have a dream -- these would comfort you when the road is rough and lonely.

"Damn pride, damn class, you must give it all that it takes" --- those are the words of my mentor.

Ask yourself, if an illiterate can turn around his/her tide and become rich and successful, what excuse does an "unemployed" graduate has

Somebody once said that "The true virtue of education should be Intelligence and Character"

My answer to this would be 80percent YES, poverty is a choice and 20percent NO, poverty is not a choice.
YES as in -- it is not your origin that matters in life, it is your destination.
Some people were born into poverty but have been able to change their stars by turning thing around and are no longer consider poor.
Some were born into wealth but today are poorer that poverty itself because they could not manage very well their possessions.

Directly or indirectly you can choose to be poor by the consequences of your actions and lifestyle.
It is not how much we make that determines maybe you will be rich or not, but how you are able to manage what you make/earn.
Live within your means, delay instant gratification, save money and invest, are common ideas that would help you become rich in life.

Most people lack "financial intelligence" and that is why they remain poor even though they try alot but without knowledge, people perish.
To become successful in life, not only rich, you must use your mind and the power of thought. "As a man thinketh in his mind, so is he"
You cannot do just anything to be successful but you must do something, exactly the right thing.

"To achieve something you have never achieved before, you must become someone you have never being before and do something you have never done before"!!

Believe me, if you are poor now, you can make it and become rich but first you must believe and be ready to change.
Everything in life has a price, if you can pay the price -- then you can achieve it.
Bill Gate paid the price and birth "Microsoft", Mark Zuckerberg paid the price and birth "Facebook" .... The world is waiting for you !!!

Richfella: Let's cut this young lady some slack. I really do empathize with here sincere delivery. Yeah, maybe she showed some bitterness when she qualified her aunt and cousin. But do you know how much of her dreams, aspirations and plans they might have 'killed'? Besides, without the extra 'descriptions' we would all probably accord more merit to their 'suggestions'.


Concerning your judgement-call on her 'Refusal' to flee.

Attraction is NOT a choice. You don't see someone and DECIDE to be attracted to them. We see that the person ticks off a handful of criteria and B-A-N-G! We FEEL Attraction. Evolutionarily speaking, attributes in the opposite gender that will 'help' us propagate our genes more successfully generates attraction. In fact the only on 2 (two) criteria we look out for are the SURVIVAL & REPLICATION values of our opposite number. The males leaning more towards Replication Value in females (health indicators) and the Females leaning heavily towards Survival Value in Males (protection for her offspring).


This is why MOST men will see a lady and under a second know that will want to sleep with her, date her or even marry her. This decision based primarily on her health indicators - b00bs, ass, hair (probably fake and Brazillian ) etc.


However, a woman's evolutionary programming primarily watches out for attributes that will give her offspring the MAXIMUM chance of survival. A woman primarily watches out for:

1.) Pre-selection (votes form other females).

2.) Protector of Loved Ones.

3.) Leader of Men (Social Alignments).

4.) Healthy Emotions.


Analysis of Her Case:

A.) This man is already preselected! He already has three baby mama's! Guys notice how girls always stare, give you proximity or even find ways to talk to you if you are already with a girl or girls? (Read up on Mate-copying behaviour in humans here)

B.) Notice exactly what she (TisaBone) said:

.

C.) Leader of Men/Social Alignments: Must have inferred that from his financial status and stuff.

D.) Healthy Emotions: Note (B.) above.


Finally, the only reason she is considering to NOT get involved with this man are only SOCIAL (what people will say/think). Blocking his number is not even an issue, I think you are already 4/5 sold. With a little extra effort from this dude you will fall like a pack of cards. I hope we don't have a 4th baby-mama on our hands .

good analysis but too much words. Keep it simple next time. HoweveR,this small girl claims to be a xtian and the other man too old at 32. How old is she anyway? Why can't she mention her age She is just one of those girls who wander about nd not really clear on what they want --- anything goes!!! Pls ask her if she would have considered this guy if he was poor

@OP, I must say you are a very rude,cheap and classless little girl who is trying very hard to "act as if"m
I believe u know the answers you seek already but greed beclouds your reasoning. People are trying to advise u but u take pride in insulting them -- SHAME on you. To talk shit about your family in public like that is also senseless. Blood is thicker than water and no bond ever so strong like family. Grow up and wake up!!!