₦airaland Forum

Some women are something else. Just not serious in life!

But at 1st stage man, you really want to create a Love that the establishment is not certain, it is cleared dat dis chick don't love you but you forcing your self on.

(1) Why deed she prospone you relationship?
(2) what actually was her excuse for not staying with you, wen u gat no job?
(3) Even if she's just a gel friend, why should she gave an excuse dat "Trafic".(definitely she's not really to take a risk because of you den)?
(4) Most you call her before she xplain what delays her coming?
(5) How many times as she tex you on how she want you guys to build up your relationship or she missed u?
(6) How are you sure she was not delayed by another guy?
(7) she most have dated some1 b4(if not till date), as she really explain what broke their relationship?

Sorry to say, [b]Never use your and to manliness you grave! [/b]Or you love her because of her beauty?

Mr Gabriel4u,u have to re-read my write up. i was and still am not forcing myself on her. i was on my own comfortably till she called to tell me i was not calling anymore.
1. she postponed because "was just out of a relationship (8months back) and would not want any date now.
2. same excuse as above even when she loved all the treat i gave to her (as mr~cork would acknowledge: typical nigerian woman behavior).
3. This is her style. Hardly keeps to appointments
4. Sent text to ask if she was still coming so i lock my door and go to bed as i was pretty tired after work and there was armed robbery attach around my area recently.
5. none. that is why i as what does she want now? we have not been communicating till recently she says i dont care about her again.
6. I dont know. she made me understand back then that there was no one. if she was lying i dont know.
7. not to disclose on this forum. but not much was told by her.
i do not understand what you wrote (in bold). I am not the kind of guy that is carried away by beauty. I have met many beautiful girls that are worse than the devil himself. so beauty does not move me. good character does.
Are you satisfied??

where are the women among us

that has experience in this sort of issues

Ujujoan
Jennykadry
Ivynwa
Tpia@
odunnu
et al

This is a serious case that needs handling,

well as for me poster
I would advise you go back to your man and try and make this work
all this issue started from the fact that he lost his Job which got both of you dis-organised

Go back and settle your differences and stop been a typical nigerian woman (the type that kant stand by their man when thers trouble)

Ever since I started reading stories and comments on romance section of NL, this is the very first time you have said something that makes sense. This is a very big plus for you.

I waited for the damsel who said she would be visiting me after work. It got late (about 7:20pm) so I decided to send a text to know if she would still be coming or not as her place was quite close to my place. Then almost immediately I got a reply. In the reply she said its not like she does not want to come but that there is so much traffic from her side and she was waiting thinking it would die off, but it didn’t. So she said she will come today and hope I won’t get mad at her. For me I see no reason to get mad. Why should i?

Let me wait and see how today plays out when she comes. You guys have to be patient. Na she cause am.

….please stay tuned.

@OP Money always changes the situation unfortunately. Something you need to know is that there is never the right person only the right time and please write that down.

The next girl you are going to meet, with all the money you'll be making will be going around telling people how lucky she is to have found a man that is well and made or rather on his way to making it good. So now how does that make your current girl any different from the one you are yet to meet?

I say forget this relationship, there's already some resentments around it which I am sure you will never get over. Open another door and see what's in store for you.

Good luck!!!

Thanks for you lovely contribution and advice.

@OP Money always changes the situation unfortunately. Something you need to know is that there is never the right person only the right time and please write that down.

The next girl you are going to meet, with all the money you'll be making will be going around telling people how lucky she is to have found a man that is well and made or rather on his way to making it good. So now how does that make your current girl any different from the one you are yet to meet?

I say forget this relationship, there's already some resentments around it which I am sure you will never get over. Open another door and see what's in store for you.

Good luck!!!

You probably dont need to hear this, but please allow me to say it regardless, There's a lot of women who chose to be with men that had nothing, but as soon as the man started making a bit of money he dissapeared. You only have yourself to blame about this, sotheing tells me you started showing off and playing tricks now look where it got you.

Why did you love the woman in the first place Maybe the answer to this question might help you move forward.

This is completely not the situation. You are out of track here. i remained me to her ever since till she told me she does not want to go into any relationship. And note that i had not started the job till after about month since she told me that.

To every on, ….and now the jist of what happened yesterday………. Get set.

Also, if she told u she wasn't interested in any relationship wit u BEFORE u told her about your lack of job, then suddenly wanting to see u is scary. Definitely. Or has she suddenly 'recovered?' . . . On de other hand, if she told u AFTER, then she didn't dig u (in de sense dat job/no job, if she loved u she would hav stayed/at least cald occasionally till she got over her past hurt) OR she might not hav seen u as a 'responsible'/'serious' guy, hence an imaginary story 4 a quick get away. Just my 2 cents. Lol.

@wislet: Sorry for the misunderstanding. In quickly reading thru your post, I quickly ran thru the phrase and my brain misinterpreted it to be that I was irresponsible/unserious for which you know I am not.

To others I will give you the update of what happened in a while.

the best part of your story is the fact that you have an insight to whats going on. She didn't want you when you were jobless and come to think of it, why exactly did you tell her you got your new job ? even you are scheming and scamming i know you told her to peak her interest and you are seriously hoping she now wants you cause of your job.
If you like her and she shows interest why not just start courting her again i mean you can't blame her for not wanting to be with someone who didn't have a job.



women think of their futures (financially, sexually, mentally, health wise etc) while men only think of making money now so as to bang as many chicks as possible

like i said before, she would get to know it one way or the other either by me or from some one else so i thought it would be better for her to hear from me. i mentioned that we attend the same church and are in the same youth group of the church. so she would still know about the job anyways.

@Dyt: i cant give her my hair if that is what she wants. She fit take am go meet babalawo and the thing fit yield plenty money for her. but as for love charm on me, that does not work on me at all. them don try am before confirm am say i no dey fall for love charm.

@wislet: your two cents is not good enough . i am a serious and responsible guy. if i was not i would have had sex with here long time when and thrown her out. i have had experiences with women and know to some good extent how they behave. @NnamdiN: i told her about the new job after she made me understand she was not ready for any relationship and i stopped yarning her. she would have know anyway since we attend te same church and belong to the same youth group. She will not pass the test i will give her if she is pretending. i know she might come up with the story of i was not stable at the time, i was not ready at the time, i was only joking/kidding/pulling ur legs to see what u would do, i have alway loved you even if we were not still going out etc, i am already ready for those.

i will see how it goes. i am at home and still expecting her as she lives close to my place.

You advice is taken with smiles i will try not to chop the forbidden fruit or kpolash her.

I think i will go wit D-sense here.
You can just give some test like not sending recharge cards, dont take her out and dnt giver money.If she asks for money , tell her while u were not working u carried out some projects and u will need to be paying back so she can give you time.
If she actually wants your money, i can bet it will last another month be4 she takes her leave. She may be the smart one too as she may want to wait but after one or two months, u can start trusting her again.

I like you answer. but you know naija girls . Most of them can pretend o! they can be humble for three months and you think they are not there for the money. but let me try and see shaa. i will write what happens after i meet her today.

@ Woke4all: I am suspecting that she wants my money but i am not sure. Maybe a test will do. As for bleeping her, that was not in my agenda as i intend to have her for keeps, except she fall her hands and fail the money test. I will welcome her normanlly like any other person who would come to visit me.

@ 190: what do u mean lash am?
@Cork: She is Nigerian. But why must I run? I no dey fear like you.
@D-sense: I think you dey make sense.
@Zim Drill: I want to explore/anticipate options so I know what to do when any other the explored options show up.

This is my first write-up after reading a lot other write-ups from others and observing the comments (good, bad, ugly, funny, deserved and underserved) from NLanders here. I will definitely get same so I am not worried.

My story goes this way: I broke out of a relationship sometime for over 10 months and lost my job within that period. So I was without a job for up to 9months. Within this time I had applied to several companies and one (the best out of all) was really promising. I attended their many tests and interviews and all proved successful. I went for the medicals and it was successful. But I was not called immediately to start.

So as a single bobo, I decided to look for a damsel when I had not started the job to be sure that she would love me for who I am and not what I am. I was comfortable though. I lived a lone and had a car (though not the best of cars; just something to move around with. Lol). And then I met this girl from my place. I really liked her and thought I should get close and let her know me for who I am.

I took her to places (eateries, cinema, etc). I showed her my place and made her welcome at any time. I basically showed her all about me and let her know that I am really interested in her and want us to have a serious relationship. I told her the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about me (except for the fact that I am just waiting for my letter from this BIG company to resume work). Her response to all of my advances was that “ I am sorry I don’t want to go into any relationship with you or any one now. I ended one relationship in January (and this was July, she should have been healed from the past set back by now)”.

Ok. I took it in good fate and stopped “bothering” (sending recharge cards, taking her out, etc.) her. I just wanted her to be on her own as she wanted so she would get another person or wait till she is ready. I was ready for a serious relationship and marriage as soon as possible if she had agreed to my advances.

The following month (August) I got the letter and started work with the big company and I told her. She was happy for me. But we remained the way we were. But just recently I have started getting calls from her (even just now) that I have forgotten her, that I don’t ask after her again, and that I don’t care. I am like “who has forgotten who, cos u don’t even call me too”. She says she wants to come to visit me in my house today after work and I consented. Of course I intend to welcome her like someone I knew before now but nothing more than that. But I as the question to you NLanders

WHAT DO U THINK SHE WANTS FROM ME WHAT DO U THINGK I SHOULD DO WHEN SHE COMES?? DO I WELCOME HER OR NOT??

Of course if i didn't love him, I would not be here posting. I said I felt like a loser because I did not do anything wrong. We did not fight or maybe nag or cheat or such. I was the best I could be even as he said but just because of insecurity and trust issue? What am I supposed to do. I am a pretty young lady and would always be that way. I was with him and not anyone else so why the insecurity?

I don't know if i should say you are wrong by saying you did nothing wrong? The truth is that since you took no action against men who flocking around you and showing you "attention", you loved every bit of it. IMO this is not very right if you are in a relationship. If you guy is not giving much attention, speak your mind to him so he does. Yes he is not secure because he went thru similar experience in the past relationship. Maybe this one would turn to be the same so he opted out before history would repeat itself. You don't need to nag or be caught cheating before a guy breaks up with you. Seeing you hang around men and they give u so much attention suggests a lot.

The question I wanna have and answer to is - What is free help?

So you want to recharge your phone, and you ask a guy for help. Is the recharge free?
You want a new dress and you ask a guy for help, is the dress free?
You want to submit an application and you want a guy to drop it for you, is the transportation free?

Most ladies ask for and class things that require purchases or cost as free, basically because they look at it from the point that the guy can afford it. And they conveniently forget that the item or activity does come at a cost to the guy.

Now, would a lady kiss a guy for free? And this does not come at any cost! She would consider many things before she does give a kiss cos to her, 'kisses' are not trifles.

Maybe, its time ladies start qualifying what they term as "Help".

i dey feel you. i love your answer.

Now i c clearly wat u want
u r jst seekin 4 attention

Oh sorry dear. You misunderstood me. i was not seeking for attention but for answer r. (but i thought that was clear from my question? )

this should not go this way my dear. i asked a simple question to which your should have replied yes . or are u shy to be a lesbian? pls stop the hating and insults.

yes. your comments sounds like u are a leb. u go crasy when u hear pusssy. sound like ryme too

d tots of new pu.ss.ies mk em go crazy

@ Dyt: R u a lesbian?

Just thought over this issue and had a discussion with a friend which was inconclusive. But i did not get good enough reason for one man one wife. So i thought i should ask here and get further contributions. Mature contributions and constructive critisism are invited.

Mr. Chudi well done o. just incase you have forgotten me my name is Chinwe From Port Harcourt. The car i paid for has not reached me since close to a month now. You will be hearing from me soon. Well done.

Mr. Chudi well done o. just incase you have forgotten me my name is Chinwe From Port Harcourt. The car i paud for has not reached me since close to a month now. You will be hearing from me soon. Well done.

Mr. Chudi well done o. just incase you have forgotten me my name is Chinwe From Port Harcourt. The car i paud for has not reached me since close to a month now. You will be hearing from me soon. Well done.

Mr. Chudi well done o. just incase you have forgotten me my name is Chinwe From Port Harcourt. The car i paud for has not reached me since close to a month now. You will be hearing from me soon. Well done.

This is a spiritual problem. Pls seek the face of God.

Hello Nairalanders,
I just graduated and my major is animal science and fisheries, i dont intend to work cos i have a little money to begin my own business, (farm and real estate) i know i need knowledge but i dont want to do a masters degree, i really donot want to do somethig foolish, i know i need more exposure ( travel get overseas training) and a masters degree may come in handy. Please i need advice from the vast knowledge of Nigerians who have made it. I have a little money to have a good start at life and my passion is farm and real estate. Please advice

You have answered your own question. u have the knowledge to start the business and u have the money. What do u want from us in NL again?

the bible said my people perish for lack of knowledge.
let every member of any church decide not to pay tithe, let see the pastor that will serve God.

Abeg o Donobi . Na comotion you wan cause so o! even amongst the "very big" pastors. Many go backslide and leave the faith o. hahahahaha

@Mai suya
Here is a bonus treaching for you

Colossians 2:8:

8 Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ.

A typical example of high sounding nonsense is "if you don't tithe, it would be tight for you."

, and there is no scriptural basis for this. i just wonder where these pastors get these thing from. i dont blame them any way. i blame the vast majority of "christians" that don't study the bible for themselves, making themselves prone to such cheap manipulations.

Mai Suya, please read verse 26 of the same Deut 14 to find out that the money was not given as tithe. Rather it was used to buy stuff that is to be tithed.