All this region vote this and region vote that, I still wonder how some people think that they can as a small group influence the outcomes of these results. I still think only a small group of people think along the lines of alliances and oh they voted him so lets repay them back, I think its bull crap and spoils the spirit of the game. If I find someone interesting I would vote for the person, no way in heaven or hell would I vote for KC moore even if he washes tayos pants over say Nhlanhla even if he is far away in south africa.

Jeez whats with all the paranoia!

So much paranoia in this house. Way too focused on the cameras and what they think people think. The acting is one if the reasons this season is sooooooo boring.

freecocoa:
Okay to the happily married men, I ask,

Who decides what the family should eat? Like do you tell your wife what to cook? Or do you just go with whatever she serves? Do you cook?

Kitchen is her zone. She knows what I like, more importantly there are always options. So the question goes like would you eat this to this or that......
She is a far better cook so I don't bother with the kitchen.

1&3
I do most of the talking, she does most of the laughing. The final decision rests with me, I am not fussy and would only step in when I think it is needed. I think it helps a lot that we are both not fussy people, plus silent treatment is a total no no. Everything is on the table to be discussed and deliberated as much as possible without judgement or residual memories.

2 finances
Me the CEO she the financial manager. With the game plan of the family marshaled out by us she is the primary driver, she does almost all the spending I review at the end of the month. Where the plan is not working she gets action items to drive that cost element better. I love its model as it gets her more involved. The main reserves remain with me, she keeps whatever she saves. (Which is mostly my petrol money that I have to make applications to get )

4 romance
Constant flux, still spontaneous we never rissshhhh to dey mark calendar for the sontin.

5. Family
Extended ke! To ya tent o isreal!

Okijajuju1:


Ichie Chris..

I greet you.. Ije anyi fu na Lagos aburo ife' anyi che.. Mana Olisa bu eze, we are still pushing.

How your side?

I never enter Pitakwa in such a long time, I wonder if I go still sabi my way around that city.

Nwa afor! No wonder you disappear hia.
Bia nwokem, even if Ha mechiri onu uzo be wa na akpa ego, si azu uno bata, as a bigi nwa adim very sure thatu you wee not enter osondu naputa that Lagos.

We dey the pitakwa, anyi na eche amaechi na wike next year.

I greet you specially.

Godmystrength,

You have shown through your posts that you possess the maturity and a level head to navigate through the challenges you are currently facing. I am of the opinion that you should take a step back and process everything that has happened properly, separate the fact from the fiction. Inferring from fact is not a bad thing, however you must stop your emotions taking over you (I know this part is the hardest) and remind yourself clearly what you want out of this whole process - to get even? to make him realize that you have been hurt? Do you want the whole truth? would you be able to achieve this without him further lying to you? Your objective/s from the get go should be very clear to you. Ultimately you would want your family to get out of this trial period stronger and better.

A root cause analysis has to be carried out by you to truly ascertain why he fell to temptation, if he did, when and how. Without a proper understanding of the circumstances surrounding his cheating, your actions might work in the short term until you find yourself back to square one talking of the same issue again. Sadly some men are hopeless cheats, they just cannot help themselves, they have very low discipline but I would not approach that sort of man with one who is truly a good guy but then time and chance offered him an opportunity he could not resist. This could have truly been a mistake, the onus is on you as a partner to firmly pass across the message that you are disappointed and that this type of behavior would not in any way be tolerated.

The hardest part I think is the way you approach the issue, "Honey, I saw on a sheet of paper that you wrote down......yada yada yada......have you been cheating on me?" for instance. Some people can start with breaking down things from the kitchen, just make sure you understand your partner enough to know what EFFECTIVE communication means to him. If you are able to crack him, hold yourself back enough to get the details out from him because it might help you process it all later on. I wish you the best of luck.


the serenity to accept manage the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Okijajuju1:
OKIJA_JUJU





Endorses [size=15pt]TemiGracie for Miss Nairaland 2014..[/size]

The Gods are Wise

Mazi okija where you put head since. The monies you are shiaring.......diariz Goduu oooo

Crazeagah go sabi nominate

Tayo always refreshing. I forgive derenle for Beverly. Not yet for mr lip gloss.

Lwkmd why is trezagah always aloof and lost

Ok so idris is upset cos his country girl was masturbating and feels she is disrespecting her country.

Errr the guy dey para cis he saw a lady helping herself. Me I heard ellah but seems others heard laveda. Make I rewind my explorar

Something happened oooo with ellah and I heard masturbating choi
Biggie no drive them again oooo

Which kain yeye JAMCuzzi be this.
Big brother should drive these bush housemates and close the house. I go pay who him dey owe

Feraz:
Exactly why I made mention of the two Engineering bodies in the write-up. How do we go about it and make them realise they're not living up to what they claim they stand for?

Circle of Influence, simple truth is you cannot.

Unless it is driven from government, it is a waste of time to try. There are outliers of course but by and large Nigerians are not ready. There is really no need to try when a huge percentage of people going to school are doing so to come out and hammer

One of those things that needs to be driven from the top.

Hello Seun,
I would personally say you are threading on thin ice. Freedom of speech can sometimes be a complex issue, this would mean that your moderators would be very astute as to what constitutes an insult and what does not. I don't think the insults are that bad, it should be ones constitutional right to say he thinks a government official is clueless.

ummnasreen:

What's BIU?

Benson idahosa uni

hispinkolo:

Classic example of the point I am raising, I do not think men are too shy or too holy. Personally I find it difficult to tell my emotional problems to anyone way before I even got married. Its not because it is good or that those who share are bad. I think we all have different ways of handling our issues, "generally" however men find it a lot more difficult to open up unless to really close friends and confidants.

Now let me correct something, I really do not want people to come here and say hey I cheated if they are not comfortable about it. I don't quite know how else to put it but that was not the intention at all. I was talking more generally.

Speaking about generally, I am fully aware that what I think does not hold for all men. This is even the reason why I want them to be involved cos the whole purpose should be to share, peoples perspective of life changes as time goes on. I would try and put something together when I am less busy and see if it would set the ball rolling.

Phema:


You lost me at the "battle of the sexes". What was that about?

For me ( or in this context ), it is the constant challenges we get everyday while dealing with ( or having a relationship) with the other sex. I mean men and women are different in many ways, it is important to understand what makes the female/male tick. This leads to a better solution for both partners, it is what makes one realize when to engage or when to beat a retreat.

pickabeau1:


I think u r right

But a lot of this stems from the fact that the thread started out as a dealing with inlaws thread, it then morphed into family fiscal issues, became a fun room of sorts and now an advise column

When u say break it down.. what do u mean?

Cheating is wrong and should not be justified

True that about the dealing with inlaws, however men generally have not spoken of their own experiences on this thread or how they see things which can sometimes be really different from how women perceive it.

Now to cheating.....Cheating is wrong I could not totally agree more.
However it happens as can be seen on this thread. When it does however I do not think it is just enough to say oh he/she cheated on you, it was wrong. In my small experience when someone you really care about cheats on you, asides from the anger you feel sometimes most people cannot help but feel a sense of inadequacy on their part led to their partner straying. This can sometimes be true, however at other times not so true. I am talking about getting to the root cause, why it happened and not if what happened was bad. Unless that root cause is dealt with as with a marriage then I think it is a set up for further disappointment.

I think not cheating for a both couples has to do with discipline but most especially for men. Men don't like to talk about their challenges, there are some men here who have gone through these things and fashioned very good ways to deal with it, others could not be bothered about it - they do it because they can, others have fallen and learned from their mistakes and vowed not to do it again, others have decided to live with it.

This is really a difficult topic to talk about without ruffling feathers of impatient people, its like trying to explain how a ghetto neighbourhood would be very prone to vices, explaining what kids go through from starting off life without many options but to go into drugs or violence. Its not a justification for going into it, however if something is to be done about it a proper understanding of the problem is important to fashioning a solution.


So I will try and leave the floor open for men to try and open up, this is not about being self righteous because many men with even bigger things to loose have fallen prey to cheating on their wives. For instance As a man

1. What are the factors that could lead you to cheat?
2. How do you handle it when you find yourself in situations that lead to it?
3. If you have had this experience before or a near miss, could you share how you handled it?

This list by no means exhaustive, but its a start.

Oh and as for voting no need to worry until one needs more than one country vote. As long as tayo is not disqualified he is fine until then, not so sure about lilian though.

Are they MAdt!!

I dont care if Tayo leaves tomorrow, but someone had to bring the game on! I also do not care what anyone writes, everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But make I try analyse the thing small

We are not all perfect, infact if a camera was put on this thread now some people kslib safarigirl would come out as controversial or not. There is really no perfect way to live or to comment online.....feathers would be ruffled. Sometimes we wish someone was more restrained or more outspoken, when we dont get that we are naturally frustrated as evidenced by the thoughts some housemates Melvin bring in us.

For instance lillian kind of gets on my nerves .......but I am holding off from saying anything am trying hard to understand that she is a different person.


After all said and done there are three categories of people

Those that like you - Dont worry about them they will keep giving excuses and vote you
Those that don't - Dont worry about them even if you are quiet they will still complain
The Undecided - You can worry about them or not, depends of if you give two wags of a monkeys tail or if you need more people to like you.


For me as long as you dont feed me mehnnnnnn are you MADDDT!

It has been a hit and miss on this thread in terms of understanding the mindset of men, generally and individually.
Maybe some of the married men reading this thread can come and break this whole cheating thing down for instance. The problem usually is that offering an explanation usually comes across as a justification. I cannot help but feel that in the end most ladies still wonder why their man cheated (or do some other things) and I think this makes it harder to get over, to forgive and move on from it ( or not).

This "battle" of the sexes cannot be won without a good understanding of what makes your partner (man/woman) tick, and then working this to achieve what you want.

I trust she will make the right call. Wonderful woman with a great head on her shoulders.

Flavour be giving frankie ONE THOUSAND NAIRA!

It's official tayo is The Man!
Finally some balls!
How do I vote?

Voting for jj
Not Lilian

How can Lilian be twerking now

Zikdik:

You don mention Maclatun..I swear, this thread is officially closed.

If I mention him name nko?

Here on Nairaland freedom before speech is allowed, however your freedom to post after mentioning some things cannot be guaranteed

rationalmind:


Lol, I hope to make such a challenge in Nigeria someday. That's when I have the financial resource.

I know it'll help liberate more people from the shackles of religion.

Sadly I have given up on that, its not feasible. People are just predisposed to believe in these things, theres really nothing you can do about it. Have you not realized that no matter how you explain it away religion always wins?


meanwhile that shadadah quote on your profile is just classic na your know know carry you inside mactunji caliphate you get luck say na only that thing them tattoo for ya nyash

rationalmind:


Lol, so you too dey do this thing?

Dey dia na, no dulling o I go sell the space for those people wey wan build comments for likes and shares #investmentsontins.