₦airaland Forum

Aspiregreat:
This is undoubtedly Funny.

dis your English bro.we know say u get Bsc for english now.easy oo

neduedu:
Guy i don laugh die. Sorry ehh, but tell ur pastor to send u back d card, tell am say na mistake. As per d girl, send me her number.

bro Dem no dey return God gift naw pastor go say every mistake na blessing.Wet in u wan use her number do ?? I don mark your face !!!

Episode 17

If to say the old man buy phone for us we go day record this nonsense.Thank God say dem we no get girl.But my mama get some bad ringtone ooo. Huh " ha " Jesus nmo" Na jesus send u to allow moses rod day knack your kpetus.

" hehe" papa boo " boo boo " boo" choi jesus marama.
i go day look dem.tink say we no sabi.

Papa sef go dey promise things wey he no fit do when he don day knack

" mama boo i will buy u volkswagen oo" eh
" oh oh Tani baba e ..Wu your papa" choi
" i will buy u money oo
" i will buy u be be be be be .....bettle..papa don cum be dat .The idiot con go shout " Thank you jesus "after every every. Papa no day knack pas 18 mins because me i day set time for them. Who i con resemble for this knacking thing. I hope say i no be bastard oo ?? Because the way Papa Okobi,the electrician con day always repair things wey no spoil for mama shop wen papa dey go night duty, i no undestand oo cos mama day always sweat comot shop..

Episode 16

Papa no go give them money to carry motor come house.They go trek go, con trek come.30 kilo meters all together.If dem complain,He go tell dem history of how hin take waka 100km from hin village go another village wey hin own school day , most times under heavy rain.

He talk say he no dey wear shoe sef and na 3 rivers he go cross before him get to school as he go even carry hin younger brother for back. On top all this,he no day late and na first position he day always take for class.

If hin return,hin go go farm.Infact the tales too boku.Hin day do all these one abi, na hin his life con do covenant with poverty like this abi ?? Ist position every time, shebi dem day give scholarship during hin time,why dem no give am ?? oh oh !!

How my mama take marry dis man sef.?? I sure say na Quickie dem do wey turn to me and then marriage.Lol my papa na sharp guy oo.My mama day ss3 wey my papa knack am better stick ..The result na me today.

Why mama no abstain now ?? Or make she drop puna for person like dangote,otedola ?? I tire oo.Just they born pikin about.I remember wen we be still day one room one parlour.Papa go think say we don sleep,Raise Mummy skirt up then bang her 4 back con use hand cover mouth.

Episode 15 ( The aftermath)

1 30pm that same day ..


My Tecno N3 screen don break having smashed it on the table when those first Bank alerts came in. my Uncle had also called to inform my Male and Pale of the money he sent and for it to be shared between me and my 6 brothers

Boo" Boo" Boo" how many times i call u .No any pocket money for you and your brothers throughout d next two month oo. U hear me so " said Papa Boo as he gulped another bottle of stout, The 6th one for the day inside his Potbelly stomach and smacked his Bald vulture head as he laid on the wooden chair in his brown singlet .Shebi na kuku night hin day go work before .

my mama was cooking afternoon meal ,Eba wey we go chop with the day before yesterday ewedu soup with Fried soya beans as meat.Mama go take say she no day buy meat because fried soya get protein,ehn na meat no get any nutrient.or na poverty dey wire us !! I dey look una with one eye.Una think say I wish make dem born me here.Why I no comot line way dey come this family ,jump enter that kind Clifford orji...sorry dangote family. God why ??


My Four brothers had finished school for the day as they walked home from their school.Nwayoma Jesus Gives and Takes Missionary Community Government assisted for Young and Old Combined
Kg,Primary,Secondary and A levels School.

vizkiz:
so the point is that you browse with free MB per week abi? Wait, how do you cope with 10MB

me set I no know how . I dn change sim to Multilinks and visafone . now sha.

To be continued tomorrow ,Five more episodes to go...

Episode 14


" Haa me i no sabi " ??
" We are sorry for inconveniences sir
Ma pls do me a favour
Ok sir
"Okay,pls just help me with like 5000 out of it ,Pls as an helper to the helpless.pls

.." Thank u for choosing MTN ,we hope u enjoy our services ,have a wonderful day. Was the last line i heard from her. Na so she sef Cut comot.

I called like 8 other customer agent and begged to please help me life ,i even stated that i am about to commit suicide on the issue, most of them would just advice me not to,some said they will block me from calling customer care if am not careful.and one said he would help me with 7thousand out of the money,may i will receive that next tomorrow.

Episode 13

The 3rd Representative was a lady so i calmed Down .I tried to put the blame on MTN.and illegal deduction but she no waste them tell me say she could see my transactions right in front of her. She then told me d time.the code i texted and all that.

She then explained to me that the * 302* amount # was for making transfers from ones bank account to the phone. It was Then i remembered it was my friend,Oponu,who helped me with the online and mobile banking and might have done all that mobile phone stuff.
She further explained that if i had intentions to borrow airtime,I should have dialled *606* to request not more than 200 card. Na here my hand fall ??

nickkylawve:
so what na happened m enjoyn ur story

am coming !

chomytex:
Funny dude

Adonblivit

naijaboiy:
[color=#1980BC]So you never still tell us wetin MTN do you? [/color]

I day come

Shebarh:
Is this a story or wah

No its a Lullaby

Episode 12

11 thousand gone. Just like that .No be this land,MTN go come dupe me for my own land.. I tried to form bad Guy by Calling MTN Customer care nd put the Blame on them by alleging they illegally deducted money from my phone .if them form ,i go threaten to Sue them .I no get 4 credit for O levels for play play na .Choi,Y God con dash me better sense like this !!

The First guy that picked.i just rained curses and Transferred my aggression on him.i didnt even give him a chance to speak all that posh pikin grammar Na. Thunder go fire hin left balls. Dude just vex,Cut me off.

The 2nd guy too just day yarn dust.Your name,Where are you calling from, Dis pple foolish oo,House day burn ,u talk say hope say Tv no day inside. By te time i tell that one to shut up shut up like 6 times.that one too cut..

.

Episode 10

Mtn Service must be really disrupted today . Witches don fly jam their signal .Abi naa hackers ?? See as they send another person withdrawal to my own phone. When i withdraw anything ?? this people are not serious oo. They better solve the server probelm quick.Idiots

Five minutes later, A message entered from First Bank. My heart was beating fast. Joo.No need to fear ,it must be the alert from my uncle. Na Alert jor

I received a Life changing and shocking revelation when the message read '" Dear Boo,the sum of #11.000 naira has been debited from your Account.Avail Bal - #1000: 00. interest : #45: 00.

The First thought that flashed through my mind was Suicide .How do i go about this ?? I angrily slammed my Tecno N3 phone on the table . I hardly settled down when My uncle called my smaller nokia torchlight phone. " Tolololo Tolololo"

Shebarh:
Is this a story or wah

No Oo .No o my sister. No be story ,Na Lullaby

.

My brothers and sisters,Make una try miss d next story Oo

" Why I no go Do Money Ritual again "..The 60 episodes power packed story go make u laugh till u jump comot public bus"

"Why I no Go do money ritual again" Pls don't miss it for anything !!!

episode 8

She didnt respond
" Hello are you there " i said
" Bae am speechless ".Haa i dn turn bae sharply !!!
" haha are u coming or not" i said still anxious for her answer.

" of course". sharply ,i give am address and time and she collect.Choi. just like that!!! Amo sun no aka me gbe le gigi.I was already dissecting how i will dissect ichinbong yansh dat day.I go so suck her Orogete today .Infact ,all d vex wey i take use chase am na hin i go use f am today.


The last person i call before wahala bust na my best friend,Oponu. Na Nairabet the guy dey play wen i call am .The mumu dey ask me y i no show for playground ..Idiot..Me wey i don hit jackpot for here.

I sharply tell d guy the process but my guy wan dey doubt ..Haha,guy ur head wan get badluck,na so i yarn am ..He do am once. confirm am .Con see d way the oponu dey hail me say na d first sensible i go do for am be this.

The mumu wan tell hin papa na me tell am make hin stop, make he no spread am before Mtn go block am. hehe ,Mtn own has finish today ..I bin wan call my girlfriend as i dey laugh ,dey shine my 26 becos he never reach 32, I don load reach 10 thousand now.
Mtn own son kpeme Na so message enter oo

if u no read this story to the end,you don miss ..

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Mtn Taught me a Lesson i would never forget in my life and i learnt a great deal from this bitter experience.

On this particular day. I was jejely surfing nairaland and other sites with my MTN 10mb bonus data which I have been managing since four days to view all these tonto dikeh eats fried yam, Bukola saraki in the dock topics when I received a Notification on my phone.

I rushed to quickly check as i had earlier requested an uncle to send me Five thousand naira to my account for myself and my brother to buy some things in school. After almost three months of begging, lobbying and postponement, he finally decided to send the money. This our uncle was quite rich but was very stingy with his money that he hardly eat three square meals a day even though he was rich, everyone knew he loved money than his life .

I got to check the message hurriedly, only to discover it was from MTN. The message read " your account is too low n you are having #87 Naira remaining if you need more airtime, Kindly text yes, if no kindly ignore."

I Knew Mtn for their stinginess and closed the message immediately. However as They sent another message that you have one mb left of bonus data, I decided to quit browsing that day till i got the money from my uncle and recharged my phone.