₦airaland Forum

Episode 8 ( Different Warnings from God)

Make persin praying he for us " the driver shouted as he started d car,put am for gear1 ,con slot in Ayinla Omowura music for us make we day groove to.

..Na so journey kick start.if i Talk wetin i bin suffer from this people 4 bus hand ,we no go comot here.

Shey na the Guy beside me wey just day fire us with better mess or the nursing mother and her pikin, the medical doctor wey dey sell 12 in 1 herbal drugs take day disturb us or the driver that was telling us his 21 years of experience in driving.. Wetin concern my own abeg.

Me i just day back ,plug my earphone ,they jam Airforce1 " Such a Diva." abi na Search a diva.Me sha sabi say na Perfect song for the babe wey i wan go meet as i just dey think different things i go do to the babe if i land for Lag..Hayayaya oo.Cant wait.
.
We just reach Ogbomoso when cars wen dey come bin tell us say robbery dey happen for front ..Shey dem bin don kill two people.

Sheyboy8:
dis story dey sweet my body o.. and I get test 2mao.. dropping d book bck on d table.. Satan U've won d battle bt nt d war.. #classcaptain I dey wait o

lol

softwhispers:
Crazy but seamless blend of fact and fiction. Peak go say: "lt's in you!" Kudos!

thanks Sir !!!

Episode 7

My papa even agree to drive me to lag but i sharply discourage am..he go spoil parol for me.After a prayerful night with thunderous prayers and speaking in tongues for me to go and come back safely with a good job.

,i bin set out for Lagos.Eko ya.. Lagos here i come


The journey was suppose to begin by 7 o'clock but dem say driver wey suppose carry us fight with hin wife for house ,so he no dey ply lagos again todqy. all d other drivers wey dey na other states dem day ply.

Abi make we go back " my papa said""

No oo papa..I go meet d thing ..no worry " i smile.30 minutes pass..1 hour go..Me i no care,if na 4pm we go take off ,i must to reach Lag today.

By 9 12am.another driver wey fit carry us come after almost 2 hours of waiting and by roughly.9 30am...we kicked off.

Na hin between one nursing mother and one fulani herdsmen na hin dem squeeze me with little air and chance to move freely but i don enter bus naa. Nothing stopping me .

Episode 6

In the fourth month, after several attempts to convince her to come to ilorin wey i dey ,may she come meet me.Na so so post,she go dey post me,.dey send me pictures say make i use am do companion,na the nude pictures i go kpansh ??

A week before my 23rd birthday,i bin promise myself say i no go celebrate am with my virginity. Enough is Enough..23 comes, virginity goes.

I find one better lie give my Parent say dem bi wan gimme job for one big company for lag...By the time i print some documents and beg beg say i no fit stay house again and na golden opporturnity to get my dream job be this,

Though initially relunctant, them later free me make i go after we gather do Serious prayers

I still remember my mother repeating the prayer point " you will not be implicated.you will not be implicated.You will not be found where u are not supposed to be found " yoi will not be implicated.


..Like 5 minutes,she was still praying the prayer.She was harder to convince than my father and insisted that i shld not go but i no fit hold am 4 body again.After four months ""!!...haha i gats see dis babe.

Episode 5


Na d first babe wey go tell me say she like me be this. hah..Finally after all these years. This was how we started chatting and talking for four months .In the third month,we officially started dating ........online dating of course.

Throughout these 3 months period as per say i be responsible boyfriend,i send her 5000 naira per month out of my own jamb lesson allowance and transport fare,to enjoy herself,
.
i send 15k wey she use buy new phone after she no day online 4 3 days and complain sey her phone don spoil,plus a lot of other " Boyfriend responsibility" wey i do.

The money wey i dey save for bank sey in case of anything ,anything,i withdraw half of am in order to please my girlfriend.All together, plus money wey i lie collect from my mama,plus d one wey i save,i fit say i spend pass 45000 on this babe during these months.


U talk say he too much Haahaa.the babe worth am now.I no get babe afterall this years. why .i no go treat am well ..After all, she's beautiful, fine and sexy ..With moderate front and back.. Even if she no fine sef i get choice.?? Soon my intention to initially kpansh the babe dey turn to real love for my heart small small...Love is a beautiful thing ..

Episode 4 ( The Connection )

Na 2go room ,naruto room to be specific i bin jam this babe. Before then,i bin dey send card and go credits to guys make dem share me babe.. I turn father christmas,dey give go credits to the needy in exchange for babes as i dey make sure say i dey day online ..i no kukuma get brother or sister wey go help me or wey i go follow dey yarn as na me be d only child of my parent.

Sharply,i add this babe oo..We start chat..The normal routine how are u.your name and d rest.The babe dey reply sharp sharp .I text now, 3 seconds, she don text back.Haha..

The first day i meet her,na hin she introduce me to sexchat ...For 1000 go credits, this babe bin teach me a lot of things oo. we dey chat ,they chat,she day share me pictures ..She talk say her mb finish.i rush buy 200 card,send am to am,we continue.
God don do am.God don do am oo. Na d person be this ..We chatted like this till midnight of that same day.

Yinkx01:
Lol nyc 1...Respect Buh I to u said 1mtn customer service attender was goin 2assist you?!
Funny fiction..kip it up! Nd u were determined 2neva give up like kanu lol....

Thanks Boss

Missmossy:
This is really comical
Fiction at its best.

thanks ma .I appreciate

Episode 3

Na so i dey go church,weddings.saloons,cinemas,shoprite dey look for babe oo.He worst reach sotey i be jam one dwarf,we been date one week as i yarn say i wan do the thing, way me bin day think say she no get option than to gree. Na hin she reply " do u think am in your level ?? Oh i see d mistake i made .." Na dat day dwarf destroy and break up with me.

I bin no day see success for Social networking dating before so i no too day put focus for matter Like that especially after my painful experience for some nairaland babes hand Like introvert, farano,FlawlessT,Rokiatu,Ishilove and many others wey no go even bother reply my pm.The insult of my life wey i receive from misssclassy and halfrica kukuma discourage me from getting anyone from Nairaland, after all missnora bin day use another person pics dey deceive guys since.


If i been day tell you my experience for woman hand,in order just to lose this my virginity,we go use like 10 episode's talk am.But bros.,na Ibadan we day go, make we no day divert direction go Owerri .


So you can imagine my excitement when i been jam this new babe for 2go.

Episode 2.


This matter of babe dem cause me sleepless nights as i even take am serious pass my jamb lessons sef ..Haha.. na 22 i be now ?? I suppose dey 400 level now naa if no be admission wey I still dey look for to study law.

As i dey so,all my guys go dey talk of dem chick way d em catch and how many babes dem don tear, me sef go dey form bad guy ,they shout say i dey tear gan.Deep down,i no say i never kiss girl before ,not to talk of pressing bobbi so how i wan even go near say i bin day tear kpetus .
If dem bin day pass girls around the clique, na wen dem pass am to me,Fk go show.

No be say i no wan do but i no just see d right vessel. And i no wan do ashewo ?? God forbid.. ..i never sabi how quick i go take come.If i con com after 2 mins.i go pay #500..wey i no go fit change styles again ?? I no want ...

Episode 1 ( The problem )

As as single guy at 22 years old wey no get any
previous serious relationship or engagements with any lady before, na every platform wey i fit use get a girl na hin i day explore.,Twitter,Facebook,badoo,Nairaland and boku dating sites.

I bin get everything wey man suppose get. Finacially stable ( small sha) ,Tall, deliciously handsome and breathtaking with 6 packs ,light in complexion as i con add pink lips join with a perfect gap tooth..i get Davido dimple,kiss Daniel lips,iyanya's body.wizkid Skin ,Lynnx height and Korede bello eyes.

But every of my attempt to get a girl in a Serious relationship no dey comot well.Some of dem go end up putting me for friendzone. Different kind of zones.Some recharge card zone, some come and help us check the Generator" Zone, some na "what time is the lecture " Zone,and many more zone wey dem bin they put me.Infact i bin don turn zonal officer for dem girls hand.

I be day think say this dis thing na Spiritual and don dey plan just date any girl wey i see next,whether na olosho or not, i no care.. At 22,I never get girl wey go day call me "honey pie" , sweetie" yoghurt and all dese names wey fit give person diabetes.Even if my boo get a boo,right now..I no send..

here we go

Shebarh:
Op go to the literature section and post ya story der

Pls Forgive and Forget.. I sabi say na " Reflex action" u use talk am.

Online dating does have its Advantages and disadvantages.

you can't afford to miss the story " How 2go relationship landed me in psychiatric home".abeg no chop pepper or read am for place way boku people go day.

*Premieres tomorrow*

How i landed in a Psychiatric hospital. "

Na my seventh day for Ipenka psychiatric hospital be dis. The worst week and worst birthday of my life so far. i have attempted to escape twice ,both attempts very unsuccessful .
All my other attempts to tell the three doctors ,6 nurses and one spiritualist attached to me that i am mentally ok, and sane also proved abortive.

i am Not insane yet am am living among insane people.Treated like an insane person by almost insane medical personeels in an insanely strange and different environment from My original abode.. i don use my korokoro eye take see d worst of the worst.I can no longer take this.

Before i kill myself and commit suicide so that i would be able to die,i have to make it clear that i didnt do the act out of insanity. i was Perfectly sane .and also to explain what led to my being here in the first place.

My Name is Boo Osin,Patient 437 ,ward 7 ,maximum protection. ..What led me to my present predicament Started from a Steamy romance that i began with a lady on 2go , Four months Ago !!!

Episode Finale

I woke up the next day and narrated my story to the church usher i met. Soon they decided to help me.They ask me which business i will like to do and i said phone business.

They provided me with 5000 naira..

. Soon i set up my phone business call center with the 11 000 naira wey dey my phone. I decided to place the business around yabaleft area. As at the time of writing this story,i am still at YabaLeft and i have made
9000 out of the 19000,To God be the Glory.
!!!

Episode 36

In One day..All in one day..

1) i lost eleven thousand naira.
2) i incurred a debt for igbodudu hospital bills .#3000
3) i incurred police bail #5000
4) My father disowned me
5) I made enemies with my uncle
6) I made enemies with my best friend,oponu
7) My brother,Agbaya slapped and insulted me
My Relationship with Ichinbong was cut off.
9) I slept in a Prison cell and was manhandled by the police
10) Walked several kilometres in the heavyrain ,bare footed.

All because i wanted to reply a silly nairalander.By the time i even checked the dude post on my broken tecno phone dat night, he had already gotten 145 likes on his comment..All because i needed mb to finish off a guy.
choi.E fight no gud ooo.

i Slept in the church that day and i didnt eat a single thing. The next morning,i thought it was wise that maybe i should visit our church and narrate the whole story to the church maybe they can intervene after all u sent 2000 naira of the credit to the pastor.

But later. i deemed it fit that if i go church,that pot bellied papa of mine go dey think say i fit do without am .I have to show him that am a man and i will even raise more than the 9000 naira .My hope was rekindled and i was determined to shame my papa.

Lalasticlala

lalasticlala..abeg help move this thing to Literature.. No be diaries be this now..

chinedu1nig:
Mehn you are hilarious.. I don laf taya

hope day u don regain strength now.pele

mayorrolex:
Guy u go Sabi direct nigerian movie..very funny.

Baba na gollywood I wan start my career o..I no want naija films