₦airaland Forum

Let's say you have 12 gold coins that look identical in every way. However, one of them has been contaminated during manufacture by an unknown substance giving it a different weight from the others. Given a weighing balance alone, how can you pick out the bad coin in three(3) tries?

I'm not sure if I'm in the right section. If not, let it be moved to the right section.

I need a good mechanic located around the Amuwo Odofin axis that works well with Mazda cars. Any info will be highly appreciated.

And you want to marry him, why?!

keepingmum: @Cnn - i reported the issue 2 his parents but his mother said i shld endure whilst his father said he shld rtn 2 9ja b4 "a woman starts 2 control him because shes d breadwinner". Forgettin dt their son refuses 2 get A job (not a profeSSIONAL job, just any job 2 help out wit d bills). Lest i forget, my SIL who was married 3 yrs, her hubby lost his job and within 10 mths, my inlaws went n took their daughter n her 2 kids back dt their daughter cannot suffer wit a man who cant look after his family yet wants 2 enjoy d comforts of marriage.
My immediate familybr aware n numerous times hv helped us financially wen i call but how long'll dt carry on 4?

Endure ko, suffer ni? Meaning what? Oya, tell them that they should return their daughter to her husband's house and you might consider enduring. Look, this is not by force. You have over tried. The reason I'm saying you should try a separation is because divorce is a very very serious and final step. Move out or move him out, whatever suits your fancy. When he has to pay rent and feed himself, we'll see whether his family will help him cope.

Try a separation for a while and see what happens. Divorce is a difficult thing to endure. You can even get a better job and move without his permission. As it is now, you are paying for everything so you have a greater say in where the finances are going. Alternatively, tell him you can no longer afford the house you are living in without you getting a better job or he getting a job himself.
And that threat about not seeing his son is just to keep you in line. A typical Naija man? I can't imagine him giving up contact with his only son.
And I'm yet to understand why you have not reported the situation to both sides of the family. As far as I am concerned, ,marriage is a covenant as well as a partnership. If one party (whether male or female) refuse to play their part, then they are trying to doom their marriage and all efforts should be made to let that person see the light.

I honestly don't know how women get into this kind of situation. 3 years in our house? Yawa go gas, whether it is my brother or his brother. I will simply tell my husband that this is not a case for argument, it is simple logic. I can't live with your brother, I didn't marry him. So please, if you are so concerned for him, let us help him find a place to live.
If my husband likes, let him shout, let him freeze up each time the topic comes up. Me, I don't shout. I will simply tell you each day that I am unhappy. If you continue to put your brother over my happiness, then the issue will get to other members of the family. I can't be uncomfortable in my own home.
And for all those men that are immediately going to say, all these modern women have issues, note that I said that even my own brother will not be welcome to come stay with me for years. I mean, if a family member got a job in the town I lived in, hosting him or her for a couple of months to get their bearing is of course expected. But you would know that you are expected to move out as soon as possible. It's not like my husband and I are an old married couple with children with Uni and secondary school so that the addition of one more person is no big deal. Two years of marriage, love still dey shack me and you want to come and spoil runs. Lia lia.

bravedude: I can link you to an agent that assist and manage my properties in Festac,if you are really serious let me know.Rent for those bungalow goes for 650-800 PER ANNUAL and block of flats goes for 500-600 per annual.You are likely 2 pay for 2yrs contract.

The quotes I have gotten for bungalows is 600 per annum. If you have a bungalow for that price, I'll be happy to view it.

When there is a five minutes shot of people's feet.

Pls I really need this accomodation in Festac. Initial contact can be done through this forum. If any listing is provided, I'll contact the individual privately. Thank you.

I really need a place in Festac. Please provide any listings available. Thank you.

[quote author=fresh_dude]One would be inclined to assume that the purpose of education would be that you lot would build on the virtues and legacies of the past and indeed make better decisions. Not to excuse #Basic's behaviour still there are rules of engagement when matters are not as they seem. Somehow locking kitchens and snatching children doesn't strike me as civil. Don'tt make it sound our grandmother had no sense in their heads before oyibo education came and saved us from the perdition of ignorance and barbarism.

So thhe question is why didnt she raise the issue maturely rather than play kinergarten games.[/quote]Abeg, my grandmother still has sense and she never went to school. However, the way she and I view issues are totally different and rightfully so. Whether you consider her decisions better than mine is moot, the fact is that we are two different people raised in different circumstances. There is nothing wrong with how today's woman thinks. And like I said before, if you don't like it, don't marry one. Expecting your mate to act like your mother or her mother is your expectation and has nothing to do with who she really is. And civility is civility. It had nothing to do with whether you're modern or not. It's tiring when one lady's misbehaviour immediately leads to outbursts of "We modern women had bad attitude". Simply call it bad behaviour and leave it at that.

And as to why the lady didn't raise the issue maturely, I don't know. She didn't post here. I am basing my answers on the info I have here and so I'm pointing out where the OP went wrong. I'm not saying the lady herself is blameless.

spaceship: I think a lot of people are getting it all wrong. The issue of not calling was only a deduction by another op as no-one know d real reason why d SIL acted d way she did even d real op doesn't. And all everyone argue on now is whether he called or not. And on d issue of him not calling it is TOTALLY WRONG. Courtesy demands you let people know you'll be checking on dem regardless of your relationship with them. It doesn't matter whether he is ur bro, sis, mom, dad,friend or other relatives, whether married or unmarried, living alone or with other people. They still have to be aware u'll b visiting. Except their is no means of communication.

Now a question for d ladies.
1. Call or no call, do you think the SIL action is justified?

2. Would you do that to ur your In-laws?

3. @ Does being educated take away manners or moral values?

4. How would you respond if it happened d other way round i.e (Ur husband showing such attitude towards ur family)?




"Talk less of my husband's simbling" Means u value them lesser than ur own siblings whereas it should be the other way round. Reasons,and these goes to the other ladies/Women on this forum:
1. You dropped ur family name to adopt theirs (And that u'll bare more than ur family name) while they openly accept you. And which make u more of their family than ur initial one
2. You have or will have children whom you'll love more than your siblings. Unfortunately they won't go by ur sibling or ur family name but rather ur husband's. (And this does extends to ur grand n great grand children).
3. And even at the time of death, that family still own ur body n not ur siblings.

And only with time will u realise that ur true family is ur husband family and that u should learn to respect and accept them d way dey are. Cos they did accept u too d way u were. Whether beautiful or not, rich or poor, intelligent or daft n so on. So start dealing with it.

Lastly,
Brother In-Laws n Mother In-Laws #RESPECTYOURSELVES#

To answer your questions
1)Her actions are justified if there are serious extenuating circumstances of which we know nothing about and so can't judge.

2)Thank God my in-laws know not to do such a thing

3)Being educated does not take away manners or moral values and I don't see what the connection is there except you're referring to the OP not calling.

4) It can't happen the other way round because I would have scolded any of my relatives that try that and gotten rid of them if they are stressing my husband. I can assure you that I come from a home where privacy, especially for newly married couples, is highly valued.

My husband's siblings can never, I repeat, never be of greater importance to me than my siblings. Equal, maybe, but not greater. These are the people I share blood with, have fought with, cried with, nursed from the same mother. They are the ones that if I make a seemingly obscure comment, they immediately know what I am referring to. They were there during my formative years and so their hold on the heart is stronger. In the same way, although I cherish my mother in law greatly and get along beautifully with my father in law, they are not my parents. I can't walk into their room and take something from her closet and say "I've obtained this scarf. Stop vexing." or pull his cheeks and say, "Dadsco, what's up?". That relationship took years to build. In the same way, I don't expect my husband to put my family on the same level as his. If he wants to, great. If not, as long as he gives them the respect they deserve, all is well.

The fact that I might take my husband's name (doesn't always happen), or bear him children does not negate the fact that I have siblings and parents. That is why in my place, when a woman bears a child, her husband is supposed to bring wine and inform his in-laws that they have provided him with offspring because if they hadn't had their daughter, he wouldn't have his children.

And at my time of death, who bloody cares who has my body. I'm more concerned with where I am going to. And even you should be aware that in some cultures, a woman is buried in her father's house not her husband's.

My true family is anybody that I decide should be my family, including friends. And let me say this, for those who are Christians. The Bible says," For this a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife" Not once was a woman told to leave a family (I know this will vex some people). The important thing to get in this is that the needs and desires of your spouse come before any other member of your family.

ibnquasale: ....what an interesting thread!
let me drop this while passing bye....the thinking and the attitude of our present day "modern" ladies is the sole reason why marriages and homes are having serious issues, why can't the SIL discussed d matter with her husband to ensure that such won't happen again, instead of taking "laws"into her hands.
And even if he intentional "refused" to place a call before coming; that's no reason for her to act like that, after all, two wrongs won't make it right!

The truth all dis super ladies need to understand is that whether they like it or not, u can't throw these people away, in fact, u need them like u will always need water!

I've noticed that a lot of men in this forum are in the habit of blaming everything on the "thinking and attitude of our present day "modern" ladies". You guys have issues. You want a polished woman who went to school, can hold her own among her peers, can impress your colleagues with her poise and all that and then you want her to think like your grandmother who didn't leave the village until she was 40. Make up your minds. Which one do you want? If it bothers you so much, look for a remote village and marry one mgbeke there. That will solve your problem with our so called attitudes.

My mother is above 60 and frankly speaking, if you were to drop in without informing her first, no matter who you are, she will scold you (she believes she's old enough to get away with it). The scolding gets the annoyance out of the way so that she can now host you. And if you stay longer than 3 days and you are a frequent visitor, she expects you to fend for yourself. If that is what a modern woman does, that I'm happy to follow in her footsteps.

emmatok: This just shows how selfish some women are,

Imagine placing the condition(Am Not Yet Ready For Motherhood) on your newly wedded husband. Were you forced to marry him?

And when you realised he is not fully in support, you still insist on what you want.

If your husband has placed that condition(Am Not Yet Ready For Fatherhood), you will be here crying he doesn't love me.

The ideal thing is to finish your education before settling down for marriage, but yours is the other way.

YOU CANNOT EAT YOUR CAKE AND HAVE IT.

If she had said this AFTER the wedding, then the whole issue would have been have fault. Pls read the initial post carefully. The husband was aware that she waited to finish school before having children BEFORE he married her. If he didn't want to, he should have said so.

I've said this before. The main issue is not whether or not she is ready or not, the issue is that he agreed before marrying her. It was not by force. So unless you are all trying to make the poor guy out to be a liar and not just a man who was carried away by sentiments for a while, I suggest we let the matter die as requested.

ZUBY77: I think you need to know that what works for you might not work for others. You have been posting rubbish here, trying to defend a hole you ignorantly dug for yourself. First it was 'i live in australia and you dont' as if Aussie is in Mars. Then you went on to discourage this lady from the original concept behind marriage. Why did you get married if not to expect kids?. I have said many times that Western cultures have eaten deep into the skulls of our ladies who live outside Africa.
Your answer to the fact that the marriage might collapse due to her personal interests is that the marriage was never meant to be. And you are married and possibly with a kid, which ofcourse, you had after you must have finished every other endeavour in life.

The original reason to get married is NOT to have children. Children are a blessing unto a marriage NOT the reason for a marriage. If one gets married solely to have kids, then you might as well pick a complete stranger of the street and marry her so that she can become a brood mare for you. While there is no perfect time to have children, there is an optimum time to have them. Any person that wants the best for their child knows this. A woman who is relaxed and secure in herself and situation is better equipped to be a mother than one who has extra responsibilities on hand.

When a male friend of mine got married, I told him (too late I'm afraid)that he should not get his wife pregnant as she was entering her last year of studying law in a different state. I considered what she was going through and concluded that being pregnant would be a hardship. I am a very logical person ( which vexes my husband but he always invariably agrees with me) and I don't let sentiment come into important decisions. Well, my friend's wife got pregnant after their trad as they were arranging for the church wedding. She miscarried, had an extra year and still had to wait another year before she could go to law school because she took in again not long after the miscarriage. All because of poor planning. The family is happy now but even they know that things could have been vastly different. I grew in the East so don't tell me this is Western influence. I was just lucky to be born into a family where early marriage is strongly discouraged because of the effect that it has had on some of my family members.

And I strongly discourage divorce and believe that all avenues should be explored before it should become an option. How many men here know how to change a diaper, feed a baby, stay awake the whole night because your baby is teething or has colic? How many men know how to bathe a baby, dress a baby, recognize the different kinds of cries a baby has? How many men have the patience to watch the same nursery rhymes video over and over again for hours on end because that is the only thing your baby will watch? Do you think that once we get pregnant that God Almighty just inputs all that in us and it becomes automatic? That's why I believe that newly married Nigerian couples should spend the first few years of the marriage in another country. When your mothers, aunties, cousins, inlaws, female friends etc. are not there to pitch in and help out, you will understand that having a child is not yam. You will also understand why oyibo practice serious family planning.

Children are a beautiful and wonderful gift. Don't have them if you're not ready. You could ruin your life and theirs. We see this in the world all the time and yet we willy nilly still have them without thinking and planning properly. Anyi abughi nkita.

maclatunji: Now, I respect this. However, there is the little problem of the husband not seeing all of this and wanting the child by yesterday notwithstanding his questionable 'morals'. No doubt, if Rokiatu goes down this road, she will win the argument BUT AT WHAT COST?

Does she understand the price she might have to pay for winning the argument? Is she willing to pay it without having heartbreak?

This is not an argument. Those are questions he must answer if he claims he is a man. And what price? If he can go back on his word, then she has no obligations whatsoever to him.

And using the fear of him having a child outside to make a decision is not healthy at all. A man who decides to have a child outside will do it no matter the situation. If he is the type to do so, better to find out early and get out of the marriage. I'm catholic and believe in hanging on as long as possible in your marriage but to me unfaithfulness is the one rule in which a person is justified in asking for a divorce.

One problem people have is that they assume that once it is family, you should be happy to host them. Not so. I love my siblings but seriously if they drop by unexpectedly to stay for a week, it will not be funny. Talk less of my husband's siblings. Apart from the youngest, I have almost nothing in common with them. I'm an introvert and my idea of relaxing in the evening is reading or watching a movie quietly. His siblings are loud and very vocal in their discussions and disagreements (which happens frequently). Being with them long term is tiring.

A little bit of notice would go a long way in preparing me physically and mentally for their presence. After all, when I go to visit my parents, who have plenty of space, I do them the courtesy of calling first. It is simple manners. If it is a few hours visit, I can imagine just dropping by but any longer and a call would be polite. It gives your hosts a heads up so that they can prepare themselves.

Also, sometimes, the fault lies with the husband. He might be informed of the visit and forget to tell the wife who is usually burdened with overwhelming hostess duties in addition to caring for the children.

I have an uncle who is in the habit of forgetting to tell his wife, my aunt, that he is expecting guests. He would wait till the 11th hour and then say casually, "I forgot, So and so are coming over for a meeting or to spend the night" and expect my aunt to do magic. Well one day, my aunt travelled and left me with her four kids. My uncle as usual woke me up and announced that he was expecting guests that would sleep over, handed me some money and disappeared. The guests were a woman and 3 children aged 3, 2 and 1. Seven children below the age of 9, with four below the age of 3 in a flat with no compound. All because of family. And with little notice. And for more than a week. Of course, I had to do the best that I could but all the while, I kept thinking that if I was in my aunt's shoes, that would be the straw that broke the camel's back.

Be considerate of others before you impose on them. You have no idea what inconveniences you are putting them through.

Again and again, I have heard and I am now reading comments that made me so wary of marriage that it took me almost to the age of 30 to even agree that the institution is not necessarily a bad thing. Marriage is a covenant which is something most men fail to realise. Both parties have to agree for it to work. When a man says "Don't worry, let us get married. We will have kids when you finish school" and then goes back on his words, he makes himself out to be
1) A Liar
2) An undependable individual
3) A covenant breaker

It means he got married under false pretences and did not understand what his vows meant. A lot of Nigerian men do this under the guise that they are the head of the house. A head of the house that cannot be trusted is even more useless that an absentee husband.

Rokiatu, go to your husband and ask him why he agreed to marrying you if he did not agree with your terms. Is marriage by force? If he couldn't wait, why didn't he say so before the wedding so that you would have had the choice of whether to marry him or not. Ask him if he is saying to you that he is a man who can break his word whenever he feels like doing so? Ask him if he thinks so little of you that he can treat your desires with so little regard. And then inform him that until he can answer those questions honestly in front of God and man, that you will assume that the topic is closed. Do not shout, do not throw a tantrum, just show him how disappointed you are that he is failing your trust this early in the marriage.

This has nothing to do with whether you should have a child or not. This is him breaking his word to you, pure and simple.

hello, still searching. Pls supply any listings available. Thanks

I would prefer that any potential listings be provided here. As it is, I am currently not mobile due to illness and it has to be a listing with my specs that would make it worth my while. Thank you.

I am looking for a bungalow or three bedroom flat in good condition to rent in Festac. The flat should NOT be in a block of 16 flats. I am looking for bit of privacy. Any info will be appreciated.

I would prefer not go above 500k although I do have some leeway.

Please, where exactly is city hall?

A 3 bedroom will be preferably although I can manage 2 bedroom.

Do you have any flats around the Bode Thomas/Eric Moore/Adeniran Ogunsanya axis?

I'm looking for a 3 bedroom house or flat ( I can manage 2 bedroom) around the Eric Moore/Bode Thomas axis of Surulere/Iganmu. My budget about 500k. I can be reached at cink_n@yahoo.co.uk.

Hello, I hope someone can help me on this site. I'm expecting two packages
1) A laptop battery from China, tracking number RA172481429CN, sent on the 5th of August. According to the tracking number, it's been in Nigeria since the 19th of August.
2) Clothes from the UK, tracking number RJ870521671GB sent on the 10th of August. According to the tracking number, they arrived in Nigeria more than a week ago.

I have not received either of the two. I used my office address in Ikoyi as I know we receive mail there. There is no way to contact NIPOST to ask about them and I don't even know where the post office is (I'm new to parts of Lagos). I managed to contact EMS but they said that they are not in charge of any of the parcels.

Can someone help me?
Thanks

If I'm serious? I'm simply asking for information on where to get one. The price would then determine if I can get it now.

Hi,
I'm looking for a 12 cell battery for my HP G61-110SA laptop. All I can find are 6 cell batteries and I want a 12 cell one. If anyone knows where I can get one, please let me know.

I've been looking for a 12 cell battery for HP G61-110SA but most 6 cell batteries I've been offered have been between 8000 and 11,000 naira. Since my battery fits into some of the pavilion series, I guess you could use those estimates yourself.