Just passing Mama Oluchi back yard...all i keep hearing is ....'Ewoooooh i feel blessed, i feel blessed

To make something reasonable out of that money, you need to solve a problem. You can invest in education. Acquire various skills in spss, autocad, peachtree accounting. Students don't really know how to use these softwares and its necessary for them. You can test your entrepreneurial skills by printing a few flyers around campus, burning these softwares into CDs and become the tutor. You will double that 10k in a month with few expenses. That's how I started, and my initial 5k runs into a multi million venture today.

Ever wondered why taking a nap in the church seems to be the best thing that has happened in life after the invention of fried rice?... don’t worry, the devil is a liar. Sleeping in the church is gradually becoming an act/profession for some of us. Some Christians are so gifted in this act that it takes a more qualified usher with professional certifications/backings (I heard they also offer professional courses for ushering) and many years experience to catch them red handed. My friend Jide can testify to this.

I used to fancy sleeping in the church, until last Sunday, when our keyboardist fell under the anointing (some gullible ones where made to believe so. Sharp guys like me know say na sleep the guy been dey sleep come fall for alter, quickly convert am to spiritual matter to avoid embarrassment) in the middle of a very interesting boring sermon officiated by the assistant pastor. For some of you who know AG too well, you may agree with me that assistant pastors from this axis seem to undertake a special course in boredom before graduating from the bible school. If the main pastor no dey around, assistant take over, na to carry ear piece dey listen to Frank Edwards sure pass, because to slap the man go just dey hungry you. I mean the man is so boring and goes off point for the fun of it. Even babies easy get bored and start crying (giving their mums an opportunity to “escape” from church).

As my friend fell from the alter, I decided to help my fellow Christians to compile 5 tricks they can adopt to avoid sleeping in the church. So read and enjoy!

1. Get active in the spirit:
This technique is really becoming popular in our new generation churches and it actually works! When sleep comes your way during a boring sermon, simply get along with the sermon. Stand up, scream ‘ride-on Papa’ jump and grab prophetic messages and releases from the pastor (I mean literally grab them with your hands), carry a plastic chair in affirmation to the sermon. This can set you too busy that u will forget to sleep.

2. Alter calls helps:
Frequent movement in the church can prevent us from sleeping in the church. Let me share a story about my friend Jide. This man called Jide nicknamed “alter call” loves alter calls so much, the dude comes out for almost everything the pastor mentions in the church. If you need Christ in your life-Here Goes ‘Alter Call’ to receive his weekly salvation come out. If you always experience this headache that makes you crazy at times, come out-‘Alter call’ is already warning his way out. If you have not witnessed your period for a long time, come out. I almost fainted when I saw ‘alter call’ among women. The trick here is that frequent movement can solve sleeping problem in churches today.

3. Chew Something:
Chewing gums can also eliminate sleep, so u can grab some and chew responsibly.

4. Read:
Reading hymns and humming softly can solve this problem of sleeping in the church. I’ve tried it before and it worked. If you cannot sing, carry your bible; open the good old book to the book of songs of Solomon. If you read it and still feel sleepy, your case is being skyped from the village.

5. Baby sit:
This one will work perfectly for the ladies. If you have a family member that has a baby, you can engage yourself with the baby and you will be just fine, you can’t fall with the baby like the keyboardist!

9..Count the ones behind too.

Ok

Why is it hard for me to access nairaland theses days?...I keep receiving messages from my browser like 'err too many redirects'...pls mods look into this.

For this to keep hitting Fp..am scared. Its either news don finish, body language finish, mods gone Bleep, or nl runin outa ideas :-XFor this to keep hitting Fp..am scared. Its either news don finish, body language finish, mods gone Bleep, or nl runin outa ideas

Nice. Badagy lagos

it may be cos of too much weed Ola took that morning before the shoot

Loool. I just cant stop laughing. Some business men harsh die

God bless our hustles...imagine our oga at the top posting on all sections, even housework (hard work pays). lol

I was just surfing the internet and I saw this wayback screen shot of NL in 2005 (I think it is the first design of NL). Lots of changes with more members. Kudos to Suen.


Source: http://web.archive.org/web/20050407004326/http://www.nairaland.com/

Good

#chillin @ red sea.

Some were called. Others were flashed Some were called. Others were flashed

Hi everyone,

SpringLight Technology is in need of a web programmer/developer.

Minimum requirement of bsc/hnd. Other professional qualifications will be an added advantage.

Applicants must be good in the use of programing languages such as php, phyton, C++ etc. A good knowledge and use of CMS (wordpress, jumla, blogger etc) is also required.

Basic salary of N85,000/month plus allowances for successful applicant.

Location: Uyo, Akwa Ibom state. Nigeria.

Interested persons should forward their CVs (showing links to a sample of your previous jobs) to chidi.rafael@springlight.org

God bless.

until army man beat you, you will never know police is your friend.

cool

Just focus on original and quality contents for your site. With time you will be fine

Nice

He should continue with using technology to fight corruption in the agric sector. Most farmers now get their fertilizers without much stress.

lol, i smell fp

cool

This one is hotter than presidential elections as i see

GEJ till QPR win champions league

Serious?

Its simple. Just bring out your wallet, empty all d cash on the table, remove ur atm cards too (like 5)...now say these words 'baby use the 10k I droped now as TP to the bank, withdraw as much as d queue ll endure. Now d password for the ATM cards is 2525. That's d greatest love lines of all times. D girl ll not forget d date she met u. Thank me later!

Could Giroud be the new Zidane?

Too bad

See how person the make front page like say na birth right...anyways I don't know a$$, I schooled in heaven

I believe with some accomplishments and some cool money. The shy and introvert guy becomes that ideal man for any woman...#fact