₦airaland Forum

Jamaican

Wtf man!

Which is right, comparism or comparison? I am often getting confused with the two terms.

He did not resign out of national interests. These people are the same politicians and would rather hold on to power.
He resigned because party members(MP's) forced him to resign in order not to lose their own seats in the coming elections since, Trudeau has become unpopular. He has been PM for 10 years.

helinues:
Arranged means coping with a stranger which you knew nothing about

The question is, when would such person be man enough and make private decisions by himself without any influence

It may also mean, trusting decisions of elders who have more experience than you in the matter. Don't you think that might have a huge advantage?

Double0h7:
No. Islam saves you the trouble of explaining no evidence. Muslim men are not online crying about women every day 😂

Jarus was online recently and he is a staunch Muslim. This has nothing to do with religion.

Mindlog:
Such comparisons is never healthy for the children.

It helped me in a way though as It encouraged a competitive spirit, I did not want to be doing worse than my mates. It's not totally a bad thing.

Double0h7:
Bot!

I thought so!

Best of luck.

Thank you and much appreciation.

WeNoGoDie:
Thankfully its banned in Nigeria and almost all African countries. So its not about my permission, they aren't permitted here at all.

I know how everyone was born because that knowledge is available to everyone through science. Outlaws will use lies to solicit sympathy as usual. I was born that way my ass. Murderers can claim that too.

Nobody cares about what drives you up the wall. You obey the law of the land or you pay the price.

Yes, and Bobrisky is still being celebrated and never got to spend a night in jail. Nigeria is still more morally bankrupt than most western countries and our collective hypocrisies stink to high heaven.

Double0h7:
My problems are FAR from your problems. It's YOU we're studying right now 😂

I have no problems and just having fun here. These are hypotheticals ok. I have devised alternatives to navigate the little hiccups. I am only wanting people's opinion and practicing my writing.

What are your problems? tell it to papa.

Double0h7:
The problem is you have two EXTREME realities at play! 😂 you want to make a woman suffer like your mother but you married a woman who made you feel like your mum 😂. If I had to pick a scenario I'd pick the later ( personally) 😂. Life is a bitch so we must respect HER 😏.

It means you can neglect your kids welfare, your husbands, lazy around and do nothing in the home and I am supposed to respect that. Try that with your husband and see the outcome.

Double0h7:
Eww! Awe! Bless you. A wife and a mother play completely separate roles! The fact that you think they are the same is a psychologically problematic THING! Ahhhh.

At no time did I say they are the same, I only opined the roles of the two as regards to their families are basically analogous, parallel and very similar.

My mom took care of her kids and had duties towards her husband.

My wife too has obligations to her husband and kids. Certain thing can be expected from my wife similar to what my dad got from his wife, my mom.

You see where I am coming from.

Like my mom, the wife is supposed to ensure are kids are well fed and this is not happening as they sometimes come to me, complaining of hunger when back from work and the mom is home, talking away with her friends or checking the latest wigs on Instagram.

No one can win this argument with me.

TheGreatIyaebe:
Nigerian men are totally useless and to be avoided. If possible, use and discard them. Who even have their time?

Mtchewww!

Calm down ok! Not all men are bad.

BItt:
They both play different role and age

The roles are similar with respect to husband and kids.

MadamVanessa:


While comparisons is bad and unfair, it's disturbing when a wife and a mother doesn't prioritize her family especially when it comes to something as basic as providing food.

Not showing concern for your husband's needs might be understandable maybe the husband is not living up to man's expectations in the marriage or he's a chronic cheat, hence her annoyance. I am just assuming not saying it's so. . However, it's harder to justify neglecting your own children's needs.

Thank you.

Some of contributors to this thread are not realistic and being unnecessary woke.

Like we have to agree during courtship that a wife will take care of her hone or have meaningful interactions with her children.

Most time, I am tired from work and have to go food shopping while she conveniently drives pass to go continue chatting with her friends or go be on Socio media looking for the next human hair.

Na dumb question be this to be honest no offense.

Sirqt5:
See question! How were u to know? You didn't date and observe her before marriage? U didn't have to live together to know a woman is wife material. By dating n spending time together, u can make ur observations.

GboyegaD:
Your comparison lacks merit because your wife is different from your mom. The issue is you did not observe/discuss in courtship this aspect you think is vital. You can complain and tell her you want her to pay more attention to the children and if she is not, you may have to step in and do the best you can. You may also need to let her work and contribute to the upbringing instead of paying the bills 100% and she is not taking care of the home front as much as you would want her to.

I compared her with her mom. I once said "cant you see the way your mom took care of you guys" There was always food at home and the kids lacked no motherly affections.

Not my mother, her own mother. Are you saying as a young man, I am not supposed to have basic expectations from my wife? Mind her, her expectations is that I take care of the home which I am doing? It means I was probably deceived into the marriage.

God punish poverty!

GboyegaD:
Now that you know, pick up the slacks. The kids are yours and not for one single person. So if you think she is not doing enough with respect to care for them, step in. No need comparing her with someone else.

I still work and pay the bills 100% while she may be on the phone for hours. You think this is an ideal situation or my comparism lacks merit?

Kobojunkie:
Growing up, did every other mother in your neighborhood or vicinity treat their kids exactly as your mother treated you and your siblings? I mean no matter how you try to skew this there is absolutely no valid reason why you would expect your wife to be or compare to your mother. Well... maybe if you paid her to specifically treat your kids exactly as your mother treated you and your siblings, and she agreed to it too, then maybe this attempt to compare her to your mother would hold some meaning. Otherwise,... seriously, I blame women who enter into relationships of this sort really. 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Are you under an influence of a substance?. You are coming off as someone not in their correct senses. No offence.

You only have your own lived experiences, am I supposed to telepathically have other people's experiences? I can only allude to mine and will ignore you going forward as someone with nothing meaningful to contribute.

Sirqt5:
You wife is simply irresponsible. Can you say you didn't see any signs before marriage? You probably did but married her like that.

She lived with the the mom with no kids. The mom prepares everything, how was I to know. mom lived with us for 6 years after marriage and did all the chores so I did not find out on time. It was after she left I started to notice. We never lived together prior to marriage so tell me how to know before hand?

Dtruthspeaker:
Thrash!

This is not a no sex thing but the normal thing where people marry bad wives, since they no more than God.

What do you know about life my friend other that to abuse others.

You guys are not sexually compatible, plain and simple.

Your options are in the following order;

1. End the marriage and find someone sexually compatible.
2. Get a side cheek and keep your marriage
3. Stay and remain sex-starved.
4. Get a good lubricant and start a campaign of vigorous masturbations'. I will suggest two, One oil-based and, another, water-based.

The bad news, She is not gonna change, I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news. She is who she is and, you are who you are.

All the proponents of no sex before marriage, see what you have caused.

Me , my problem is I want to have sex in the kitchen, bathroom, car. I also want to introduce some kinky roleplays and she would not allow. As a genuine born again Christian, what should I do?

WeNoGoDie:
1.No gay person on earth was born that way. No child was ever born on earth with knowledge of sexual preference. That tendency is acquired from peers or movies and such while growing up.

2. Its not justified to accept gay in the society out of sympathy. If you accept them then you have to also have sympathy on those that are attracted to animals and pedophiles and even murderers and all unlawful deeds.

3.There's no way you accept gay and such deviant behaviors in the society without it automatically creating multitudes with that behavior over time. Evil communication corrupts good manners.

You don't have to accept as they need no permissions from you in any way. You don't know how they were born as you only know yourself. This illusion of control is what drives me up the wall. Just live your life and protect your azz.

internationalman:
Maybe you are not in the USA. There’s a lot of gay bars, organizations and group publicly scattered across most cities in the USA.

My mom is in the USA, she constantly narrates many ordeals about open gay people in her workplace to me. I have seen videos and pictures of two guys kissing publicly in the streets. Hell, they now teach kids in school how cool it is to be sexually attracted to Same gender as them

DaddyCool is right.

Going to a gay bar is like going to their bedroom. How many gay bars are there in the USA? I would expect them to be kissing in such a bar but never in the open except in pictures and movies.

Kobojunkie:
The extremes here were made possible by your person who claimed he was able to compare his mother to his wife. I am in the right to ask you if your mother equally catered to your sexual needs, and had your children whom she in turn had to take care of their needs at the same time caring for your arse! You want to be fair when making comparisons, right? 🤔

She is not taking care of their needs like my mother did to us, I do most of the taking care for the kids hence the comparisons. Not always good to jump to the extremes in discussions.

Nemesis0147:
no
You can encourage people by bringing out the best in them instead of comparison.
The kid doing well in class might have other attributes his parents will be battling with….
Stop comparing people….it kills self esteem.

Most of the early success I had in life was by comparing myself to my friends.

immortalcrown:
It is wrong.

Why is it wrong? It is wrong morally or spiritually? Our parents always compared us to our mates!

Kobojunkie:
Na the women wey dey marry people like this I dey blame most! 😑

Was your mother also sexually servicing you and having your kids during all of that time she cared for you? 🙄🙄🙄

You are not making sense. Why the need to go to the extremes.

Nemesis0147:
Comparison is bad when it comes to people
No matter who you are comparing who with.

Some comparison actually helps to motivate and encourage good behaviors. You compare your kids to the kid who is always first in the class. You will agree with me that comparisons can sometimes serve as a motivator.

Bilabong:
Yes.
Comparism is bad when it comes to individuals.
If your mom is better go ahead and marry her.

What about my expectations in a woman which was shaped from my experience with my mother?

Yes. I asked the question with full chest.

The only example we often have of marital relationships is our observation of our parents. That creates certain ideologies and expectations about married life long before we get married.

I was particularly close to my mom, and she took very good care of us.

Every morning, she was up early to prepare food for the whole house. She planned her trips to the market to restock provisions. In the afternoon, she always made sure food was ready, and the same was true at night.
Before you say, "But she was a full-time housewife," I would like to stop you in your tracks by emphatically saying, no. She was always up at 4 a.m. preparing food for sale and

TheGreatIyaebe:
Men will still cheat no matter what. I will never trust any man they are all the same.

Mtchewww

Welcome back. I thought you gave up on NL. I see our brothers have broken your heart.

Pele, not all men are bad.