₦airaland Forum

descarado:
That was a very old video. Probably 10yrs cos I can still remember fragments of what happened prior to that sensitisation.
The met police sent them there. He was there with fellow officers.
That time also, met were looking for yoruba people specifically to train as officers who can use yoruba language while on duty.
It was very sensational here that time. (I think those threads were part of lost threads when nairaland crashed)
As long as it does the job. That man on that video was with superior officers. I don't understand yoruba so I can't interpret what was said but that time, Nigerians in uk were on fire and crime rate and report both for frivolities were at its peak.
Don't know why the video resurfaced again.
Hmm

That’s interesting they are distancing themselves from it now. Or maybe they sent him and what he said wasn’t exactly what they expected

I think it resurfaced again because of NL busy bodies and their always wanting something to say about abroad women.

sonofthunder:
It's not about laws but ability to execute. The laws only protect women and condemn men. We all watched how the law proved a woman falsely accused a famous actor of abuse yet the law did not met out matching judgement against said woman. You want me to rely on such laws. Laws that enable women to cheat on their wives and still initiate divorces and take away more than half of the man's hardwork and lifetime achievements?

Men who cheat on their wives can still initiate divorce. No one will stop them. The problem is y’all want to eat your cakes and have it.

Oh the man’s hardwork and lifetime achievements? Right because the women didn’t work and didn’t have any achievements in the home. Only what the men did matters. Pfft 🙄. It’s your refusal to acknowledge the contributions of the women in your lives that make you feel this way. And it’ll continue to be the root of your (generic) frustrations. You guys have made up your minds not to respect the women in your lives and value their work in the home. That’s why you can take a bold stand in public and claim “all the man achieved”, as if the woman was a bystander the whole time.

Therapy is largely unhelpful and doesn't end up getting results in as much as 60% of cases. Even therapists themselves are questioning their profession.

unhelpful to people like you who don’t see the importance of it

Female therapist are questioning their fellow gender and their desire for the right thing to be done.

reputable sources pls

Your problem is you take the cases of 53 men out of 30million who beat or abuse their wife's and use it to avail women of their hypocrisies.

If only that were the true statistic. I can’t take you seriously if you’re going to be blatantly lying

doggedfighter:
Coco, is there a special recipe for brown chicken ?

How did you do this ? I like it.

I used this browning sauce pictured below. I added purple cabbage to mine hence the darker color

But prior to adding it, I just seasoned my chicken as usual (season to your taste).

The rice and peas were cooked in coconut milk and a bit of salt. Then I served it with the sauces from the chicken and cabbage.

Steamed cabbage recipe linked below
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGDYN0XfVEU?si=vl9J7T3IzqoTbvwX

As long as he’ll keep the same energy when she cheats

lagosrd:
I think one just have to mind our business and behave well abroad ,Otherwise there will be a big challenges dealing with such issues when both parties return home.

This . This is just it

Mind your business and behave well AKA follow the laws. You will hardly have any issues.

sonofthunder:
No points of yours addressed the issue of false reporting of spouses.

I don’t need to address the issue of false reporting. There’s already a law against making false police reports. It’s a crime. Unless you’re asking me to be like you people and assume that anyone who reports domestic abuse is lying. We call that being abuse apologists

Therapy is a fraudulent circus that will be addressed another day.

The fact that you consider therapy fraudulent is a great indication that you might be in need their services. People who need introspection, self reflection and self accountability are often the ones who hate to do it the most

aestake:
Go to the UK and undo the advice.

Well the police department is doing that now. I don’t need to do anything

aestake:
Women too dey hype calling the police because there are things they will have alone. Mak guys no dey get house together with them women o or rent and collect rent from house wey you get b4 marriage.

I don’t understand this post

Retype it please

femi4:
Its not a crime to wear police uniform and give you an advice. Police is part of our community

It actually is (at the very least unethical) if you’re not on official police duty. You should know this. It’s a misrepresentation with the aim of using the police backing to add power to what you are saying

He should have done it on his own time and in his own image not the police image.

A lot of your pastors already preach submission even unto death. No govt has had problems with them and their problematic messaging. If he’s going to go around trying to be a marriage counselor, he needs to remove any ambiguity as to who sent him.

It’s not hard to understand and If you don’t understand that, you have a problem. I don’t encourage anyone to abuse police services or leave their marriage over trivial issues.

I also don’t encourage a person in a position of authority to go around subliminally dropping hints that the whole police department is in support of them discouraging potential abuse victims from coming forward

freshvine:
Beautiful sentimental bullshit!

The police officer is an enforcer of the law for a reason and has witness countless number of cases that's irrelevant and putting pressure on the immigrant. He decided to use a Christian platform to speak to people he believes uses Godly standards in their marriages.

If you have issues with him connecting to children of God in the language of marital longevity,then you have issues.

GloriousGbola:
it is always amazing that people think they can flee their financial difficulties in their home countries and somehow still import the backward attitudes that are responsible for the situations in their home countries.

This

femi4:
He was addressing the Nigerian community as a Nigerian but trust our overzealous naija uk bloggers, recorded the lecture and gave it a deceptive caption: " UK police advised NIgeran women.....bla bla"

He could have done that in plain clothes not police uniform. We went there to present himself as an authority figure from the police.

Stop abusing your wives and you won’t be reported.

Ask the women whose husbands don’t threaten them, hit them and don’t abuse them how many times they’ve called police on their men. Zero.

It’s not hard at all. Why would any woman want her loving sugar husband to be taken by the police? If it doesn’t follow common sense deductive reasoning, then you need to question it.

That’s all I’m saying.

chidiokay:
Woman admit it ! just nairaland alone we know how you ladies abuse the report click, just imagine what these ladies will do with Uk police free toll

Naija wives are very much capable of doing it its not naija men fault foreign women cant take there hands off, please !

Goodnewsforlife:
don't mind all those oversabi misogynist that call themselves feminist

All those fools with misplaced priorities, this man is trying to make people understand the value of family n raising children together than going apart

He made it clear something's are best settled at home cos if it escalates n it leads to divorce it will affect d children more

That botrneck or botreglad that quoted me is just another wannabe woke man, I guess he doesn't have issues with his wife at home cos if we are to go by his logic then couples should call police on each other at every small disagreement so it won't turn big

I’m one of the useless feminists.

This man has surely caused harm in those years since this video has been released. Some people might choose to stay in a potentially dangerous domestic environment because they don’t know what might be considered serious or not until it escalates and they eventually lose their lives or suffer irreparable harm.

Even if we give him the benefit of doubt that he meant well and was only telling them not to call police for frivolous matters, that wasn’t his place to do so. If there are excess cases of people misusing police services, The police department should hold press conferences and make official statements when they feel there’s a need to do so.

I’m sure there are licensed marriage/family therapists in the UK. He could have recommended their services if he felt there was a need for something to be addressed within the congregation. Or he could’ve addressed it without his police uniform on.

He gave the impression that this information was sanctioned by his police department. Not only was it not sanctioned, it would be ridiculous of them to only single out the Nigerian immigrant population to tell such things. It never made sense from the beginning and I’m glad to see that I didn’t doubt my critical thinking.

1stGenAmerican:
Right, sister! The only things I’m not happy about is the time it took to start an investigation and he got to keep his job until now. I’m 😡 because chances are that Nigerian women and children in the UK have suffered harm due to his lies. Because he caused such a huge liability, they’ll be making an example out of him!

True He has surely caused harm in those years since this video has been released. Some people might choose to stay in a potentially dangerous domestic environment because they don’t know what might be considered serious or not until it escalates and they eventually lose their lives or suffer irreparable harm.

Even if we give him the benefit of doubt that he meant well and was only telling them not call police for frivolous matters, that wasn’t his place to do so. If there are excess cases of people misusing police services, The police department should hold press conferences and make official statements when they feel there’s a need to do so.

And it would be ridiculous of them to only single out the Nigerian immigrant population to tell such things. It never made sense from the beginning and I’m glad to see that I didn’t doubt my critical thinking

So why were people hyping the video all over the internet in direct attack against women by saying “even the UK police has told Nigerian women to stop calling the police on their men”?

As if to insinuate that they are making up stories about nonexistent abuse and lying to the police?
That’s the impression it gave

Goodnewsforlife:
over Sabi u don't even understand what the guy was saying

He's actually talking about home management,nobody is saying they shouldn't report abuse but there are some minor issues that could b managed within the home that are blown out of proportion because the women believe they have an upper hand

In pidgin, no b every case u go call police, some small issues dey wey u suppose manage for house na only issues wey Una no fit resolve for house u suppose call police for

Simple

He went to join the UK police with the Nigerian police mentality of telling women that domestic violence is family matter . Until they die then everyone will start screaming “wHy diDn’t She leAve?” 🙄

I suspected this would happen

As soon as people started making him popular again, I knew his time for investigation was coming.

@advanceDNA, what say you now?

1stGenAmerican:
Just as we suspected, LIES! The lying policeman in the video is being investigated—-he can kiss his job goodbye and I’m sure he’ll also receive criminal charges!
https://www.nairaland.com/8211728/uk-police-respond-false-information

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/met-cop-telling-nigerian-women-33655942.amp

Nairaland is super notorious for spreading lies. The MODs don’t even try to verify any information they put on the front page as long as it’s guaranteed to generate clicks like this one.

If I didn’t live in the US, the type of impression I’d have of this country would’ve been WOW. That gives me the ideal that most of the stuff they say about the UK is also probably exaggerated at best or totally made up at worst.

Nonsense people full this forum sha.

1Sharon:
Sis I'm sick of it. I remember seeing that video about 6 years ago and it went viral, now its circulating again. If Nigerian men claim to be victims so bad, why are they spinning lies?

The background shows the man is in a church and he's just giving advice to a Nigerian audience. It's just an informal talk. Some of the people that are reposting this video don't even understand yoruba and like some idiots they're using it for their agenda.

This is about the 3rd fabrication they're making go viral against Nigerian women.

'Nigerian women are the most promiscuous in the world'

'Nigeria has the 2nd highest paternity fraud in the world'

ALL LIES! No such surveys were ever conducted in Nigeria !

Suspected as much

ivolt:
I understand what he is saying.
He wants women to resolve domestic issues aka violence in house and not involve "outsiders"
aka law enforcement. But that is his own personal opinion being falsely paraded as the policy of the police department that hired him.

He will likely suffer no consequence due to language barrier.

I hope wherever this man is now, he’s saved up for his retirement because they’re about to make this go viral and unfortunately for him he might get laid off for this probably unsanctioned mission he sent himself on. Or maybe he’ll release a statement denying it. Let’s watch and see.

I know that no reputable police department anywhere in the modern world will officially stand behind such a potentially dangerous statement and expose themselves to liability.

I can’t even understand what he’s saying so we’re only taking the words of whoever posted it as fact

1Sharon:
Any news from the 'UK' circulating only on Nigerian online spaces is FAKE NEWS and NIGERIAN HEARSAY. There is no UK article that corrobates this statement.

The 'UK Police' will NEVER say this. It makes no ethical sense. Liars. A Nigerian man made this up for their japa victim agenda.


Just like the "Nigerian women are the 2nd in the world for paternity world" Another lie! No such survey was ever conducted in Nigeria.

ivolt:
Very unprofessional.
I am not surprised the advise is coming from an immigrant.

The officer deserve a reprimand for trying to cover up domestic violence.
He is trying to promote a corrupt and abusive society with socially enforced code of silence.


BTW, there is nothing like "UK police".

Don’t be proud of ignorance

There’s nowhere that child support makes up financially for the work and money a single mom puts into raising the kids on her own. You’re just too deluded to believe that men nowadays are actually not evolving hence make bad spouses for modern wives.

Your opinion about what single moms are is entirely yours.

WritterNg:
Two truths can coexist.

Many, if not all single moms left for the wrong reasons, especially greed (divorce settlement and child support). Not because their husbands were abusive or controlling.

Single moms are the bottom barrel and shouldn't even be considered by any decent man. It's just like choosing between a brand new car and a badly used accidented car with too much mileage.

OhBritannia:
I wonder why a man would be jealous of the success of his woman.
A wise man will use the success and connection of the woman to attain greater heights to even get past the level of the woman.
Some men see opportunities but allow pride and ego to destroy those opportunities.

Well these kinds of men aren’t wise.

I pray the wise ones spend more time talking to these unwise ones for the sake of women’s safety

EreluRoz:
But you all mock single mothers and divorcees that's why some of these women stay in abusive marriage to avoid being mocked

Don’t mind them

jmoore:
The signs are always there.

Flee while you are still alive. Marriage ain't do or die affair.

But yall be the loudest voices against single moms. If she left him she would have been a single mom. Isn’t that an abomination according to yous?

Similar to that female Olympic medalist

Women the man you surround yourself with can determine if you live a safe life or not. Many men are extremely jealous of your success. Especially those who believe your place is beneath them. The moment you notice he’s the kind of man that doesn’t support female autonomy, keep your distance

Coconut rice and peas, brown chicken and steamed cabbage

radautoworks:
Yes ma'am! Rice was nice and warm with the coconut milk and mango chilled. Lovely contrast of flavors and textures. I really need to finish the repairs on my house and get back in the kitchen

And then you’ll make us some mango sticky rice? Promise?

But they expect patriotism from the general population

xpressionx:
These politicians and their people see Nigeria as burning nation where anyone can steal whatever he can before fire engulfs everywhere, no patriotism. .

UmmuFarah:
This ma'am. THIS👍

Thank you

Sorry it was too long. There’s so much more to the conversation than what I even typed. I had to stop somewhere

Gerrard59:
Isn't that a failure on the part of the custodial parent? I just wonder why child support is paid out even when it does not cover a substantial part of the sum involved in raising a child. Or is the custodial parent expecting a higher standard of living above the divorced parent's income status? That is, attempting to raise a child with a champagne lifestyle but powered by a beer income of the dad.

Okay this is where the lies and propaganda have taken root and fueled a narrative that is so blatantly untrue it hurts to even try to debunk it. Pardon the long post.

The average child support per month in America is around $400/child. Obviously some people pay more and others pay less. I’ve seen people pay around $100 a month because they’re so low income & that’s what the judge decided they can afford. The upper end is around $700. There’s nowhere in America where this money is going to fund a champagne lifestyle. You ask why is it even paid. The reason why it’s paid out is to help support the custodial parent’s expenses on the kid. Should they get nothing at all? What men need to do is to stop complaining about it as if they’re being oppressed for taking care of their children. Or as if the moms are getting rich from it.

The custodial parent still ends up paying more than the one paying child support. So what are these dads complaining about? They are getting these measly amounts per month in addition to being the parent who’s responsible for everything else not financial. Depending on the age of the kid, you get to be the parent doing late nights, sick nights, game days, pick up and drop off, extra curricular activities, doctors and dentist appointments, laundry grocery planning, cleaning, cooking and of course everything else they need at home.

God forbid the kid needs braces, or likes to do basketball, ballet or piano lessons etc. you the custodial parent has to decide if giving your kid a well rounded childhood is something you can do outside of the basics like food and shelter. Most times these divorced dads don’t even want to hear about anything like that. There’s no way the parents who are paying between $400-$700 per child aren’t the ones getting off easy. What these men really want to is get divorced and walk away with zero responsibility.

Child care alone cost me $24,000 last year. Just daycare for my little one and afterschool program for my older one. This is normal. It’s not an exaggerated amount to pay in child care fees. If I were a single mom who obviously has to keep a job in order to live, would $700/month child support cut that? Do the math.

And before someone asks “why put the kids in daycare if you want custody?” Well because if I don’t, then I’ll need to be a stay home mom and the man would have to pay me alimony. The horror right? Such a gold digger that can’t go get a job. Why expect a man you’re not married to to still fund your life?. Women are getting the short end of this deal no matter how it’s twisted. We only hear about the rich dudes paying what seems to be ostentatious and just imagine that’s what all single moms are getting. That’s why I encourage more moms to leave the kids with the dads and pay them child support since they think it’s such a great deal.

If I were to get divorced tomorrow, I would gladly pay $3,000 a month. I have two kids. That’s $1,500 per kid. I’d gladly pay that if someone else would be made to supplement the rest of it. Heck I’d gladly pay $4,000 knowing very well that it costs more than that to raise a child in America per month. Their dad would have to cough up roughly the same amount of money to balance it out in addition to doing all the work involved in physically raising them while I get to be the cool parent who breezes in on weekends and holidays and gripe about how much I’m paying.

The part which got the most of my interest. Are women these days interested in motherhood or a career ? Why is the intense focus on "I stayed back to raise the children" when the work involved in raising children differs from pursuing a career/business enterprise?

Different women want different things. Most women will say they want a balance between the two.

I don’t really understand the last question.

Is that not what Nigerians like?
They admire “powerful” men who are a law unto themselves. Who answer to no one, have no compunctions and think their money/status will solve anything.

We get the leaders we deserve because at the end of the day, it what and who we’ve propped up