₦airaland Forum

subcbouy:
These people aren't telling us anything! Who removed the money from her account? EFCC shouldn't seat there and expect to be called or reported for something like this! So if she hadn't shouted or not being popular, the money wouldn't have been reversed.

yep

A regular person would have had a hard time getting it back

I’m happy for her. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed

jaxxy:
I know this fruit but does it have any health benefits or its just about the sweet taste?

Vitamin C.

Plus other minerals

Klass99:
I can't stop laughing🤣.

😩I wasn’t even trying to be funny. I don’t know how my brain produces those phrases

Barteze:
Once a man gets married everything he has whether gotten before the marriage or while married belongs to his wife too. But I can understand the lady's fear the level of entitlement of Nigerians these days especially family members is out of this world.

Actually that’s not true. Only the things he got while married belong to him and his wife. Pre marital property is for him alone or any kids he might have in the future

shaybebaby:
Tbh, it's unlikely she's going to see a dime back of what she contributed.

Most likely he did it on purpose..to have something to hold over her. I'd cut my losses..not point in throwing good money after bad.

I wouldn’t cut my losses. I’d take the equivalent of whatever my share is of those investments in one way or another. Then he gotta go.

I don’t like dubious partners

So then he should transfer every property to her name and exclude himself since they are legally married and he has nothing to worry about.

That’s would be okay. Right?

I don’t know if you think you’re talking to another one of your fellow grey matter deficient scallywags

Fuckyoumod:
why are you lying?
For them to be living as husband and wife in UK it means they are legally married.

Everything he owns automatically belongs to his legally married wife and children by law.

So why is she worried and trying to demonize the man? What's wrong if a wife contributes for the growth of her home and husband?

The way you people hate men so much eeh.... God will punish all of you. You people forgot that you are nothing but just SPERM in the balls of a man.

Actually if she starts now she can get what’s rightfully hers whether she goes gun blazing or not.

The man might think the houses in Nigeria are protected from UK government fingers but if they are anything like the USA, his bank statements can be subpoenaed and all the money he squirreled away to build those projects in Nigeria can be re-estimated and he’ll owe her half of it if he wants to keep the properties to himself. That way she get her share and he can go live in Nigerian mansions by himself since that’s what he wants 🤨

michlins:
ok she should simply fight her husband now and fight for the properties too in court.

The mistake is already made, the best approach shouldn't be a warpath with the husband but a subtle but defined tactics to get what she wants.

If she goes guns blazing, she will get next to nothing now but if she gets smart, she will get her home and properties too.

But who says the man will die first. What if she dies before the man

shaybebaby:
It's the "gently" that landed her in this predicament.

yep. Give an inch they take a mile

Only a man will see another man being a bad spouse and ask those he’s hurting to walk on egg shells around him so as not to displease him. Meanwhile he’s in the wrong from the beginning.

No wonder Nigerian women hate to build with you people. I always think in my head, “why would a woman want to keep her money separate from the spouse. Is it not one family and they can all be included and benefit from it equally?”

But no. Not with these types of responses. If he decides to go ahead and marry another woman to reap where the OP sowed, the best advice you guys can give her is to keep begging him.

I won’t blame any woman who doesn’t want to build with you guys. Egomaniacal double crossing is the game y’all play

edmasta01:
You seem to be a good woman who is supportive of your husband and you and hubby probably have a good relationship already and this is now threatening that relationship.

Can I ask, how did you approach him about adding your name to the investment document? I hope you did not make mention of the fact that his family is chaotic? No man will take lightly if you use style or subtly make snide comments about his family (even if it's true).

If you did approach this respectfully, I will advise that you reach out to your hubby again and let him know that for your peace of mind, you'd want a situation where you want Mr Joe Bloggs and Mrs Mary Bloggs are listed as owners of a property or investment that you are both committing money to.

If he then insists that he won't do that, then just let him know in that meeting that henceforth, you won't be contributing jointly as you "feel" alienated.

Then let him know you'd want to suggest that you invest separately so that you both can have that peace of mind. If he gets angry, don't flinch. At some point, he will come back to his sense (if he is a good man).

Don't try to invest behind his back (unless you are ready to see shege in your marriage).

I live in the UK, and I can tell you, it's very hard to manage a family on your own if you divorce in this UK. Don't take a harsh action because you want to prove your right.

Use communication and at least, if you don't agree on the joint name, at least you both still have a marriage with segregated investment plans.

Look at the type of coddling we are advocating for a man who’s being deliberately sly to his lady.
She should gently carry him along 😒

folla:
Continue to gently ask him to include your name in your joint property, while going forward you buy property in your own name and carrying him along.

Don't buy any property in your name without keeping him in confidence, so he knows you don't have hidden agenda. If he asks why you're doing this, let him know you're doing this for your children and your own future.

Cheers.

Kobojunkie:
What about the woman? Why would or does she not know this too?

sometimes we lie to ourselves to protect our hearts from breaking. She might already know and that’s why she is here looking for someone to tell her that she’s wrong and her husband could never. Yet he absolutely can and is already doing it to her face.

If not, this topic won’t even be on NL. The moment the man noticed his wife is not being included in property that is being purchased with family funds, he should have fixed the issue immediately before she even had time to complain. So I think she knows

I promise you that man knows. That’s his intention

Odotech:
Your husband is investing in Nigeria because he knows Nigeria is a lawless place where should both of you divorce today, you will get nothing from the courts. Courts here pervert justice. But if it was in UK he invested, whether he puts your name or not, the properties belong to you both except you had prenuptial agreement. He may have his fear of losing out if divorced for insisting on investing here in Nigeria. You too have the fear of losing out because of his choice of a lawless country as investment destination. The middle point should have been investing in Nigeria under you both's full legal name ie Mrs Jane Sobotie and Mr Jude Sobotie. In law, "Mr and Mrs Jude Sobotie" is not recognized name. Tell him to put your name or henceforth forget about investment in Nigeria. Support only joint investment in UK where you have automatic right to any property in his own name or invest in your own name here in Nigeria if he refuses to include you in the existing properties. Make him understand that you know and understand his fears is about losing it all through divorce but that Nigerian courts and systems are already biased towards men in the event of divorce, so your legal name must be included. Should he relocate to Nigeria tomorrow or secretly marry another Nigerian woman, she automatically inherits properties built with your money because your name is not on those documents. Nigerian law recognizes not just court marriages but also customary marriages so your own properties will be shared between you and the secret wife of your husband. You seem like a good woman. The type most of us would like to have really. You appear supportive and not interested in divorcing your man like we read about Nigerian women dealing with their husbands in the UK

ihavesense:
Do you know that as a lawfully wedded wife, she and the man’s children have a right to inheritance of his wealth. So why the fuss.

So then there’d be no fuss if the woman puts all the family wealth and property in her name right? After all if she dies, the man is entitled to everything she owns. No?

These are the sick devilish lies you used to deceive women in the past so they’d build with y’all and when you start misbehaving they won’t have a choice to stick with your miserable behinds seeing as they have no other choice

Harddiskng:
You would discover all those advising op to start her investment separately are all women.

I don’t know why when women advise women but matrimonial things, it is the one that would scatter the home pata-pata they always advised their fellow woman to do.

I still haven’t figured it out whether it is subconscious or intentional

But you have nothing to say about a man who’s intentionally excluding his wife from jointly owned family property. All you people love is to cheat and oppress your women. Anyone who gives them advice on how to avoid being mistreated like this becomes the enemy

Aren’t you a whole tub of stupidity?

seanery:
Soo far she is happy..., and the gbola is big and curve; no lele

They just casually use the word married in place of rape?

Nigerian men and abuse of power

ChybuzzDD:
That's just because only a handful of men have good women in their lives

The overwhelming majority are not that lucky

Or maybe you don’t deserve it

pocohantas:
I just dey imagine say na woman create this thread. Do married women envy spinsters?


Hahhaah

The men wouldn’t even let us converse in peace. You’ll see them taking over the conversation to tell us how we should feel, think and respond

May you and your wife continue to be blessed
It’s a breath of fresh air seeing a man appreciate the woman in his life on this nairaland .

ProtonX:
Short answer is NO. I never have. I have been married for almost a decade and a half and what we have achieved in life as a family is what I never would have dreamed of as a bachelor. I married a woman who looks out for me the way I look out for her. We've built a solid fortress spiritually, physically, financially, etc. I won't have had it this good alone. My life was scattered especially because I was forced to be independent at a young age and I left home at around 17. Sometimes I imagine if I didn't wife her when I did, another man would have cupped this gift that God willingly gave me. TWO GOOD HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE. We're not without disagreements sometimes but we've so far maintained a peaceful home. Yes, life gets chaotic but knowing you have a genuine person, no chaos is big enough. Learning and unlearning is constant in our marriage and knowing what God requires of us per time. We have been intentional about our relationship especially when our kids came in the picture. From just date nights enjoying some of our favorite TV shows indoors to trips where we focus on each other and plan the next month, next quarter, etc. We keep a united front before our relatives including our parents, friends, our children, etc. I sometimes re-read my kids' school composition about us as their parents, and I genuinely ball my eyes. God gave me the best gift and I almost lost her wasting time that year. But to God be the glory. No regrets.

DoWhatThouWilt:
I have come to the realisation that men are living in a world today where there are too many impossible expectations to meet.

I’m curious about this statement. What are some example of impossible expectations that you feel men are expected to meet?

This is the kind of behavior Nigerian men like

Kwaramustgoodag:
Someone paid ur bride price, still come get mind sued him that he raped u. If he cheat on u, another wahala. Yet, u don't allow him to touch u

Women pay the dowry in India.

Does that mean women can do to the men whatever they wish to regardless of consent?

Tonytonex:
that's not true.

It’s not?

Hold a poll and see how many will agree with you that marital rape is a thing

I know many Nigerians don’t see women as human so marital rape doesn’t exist in their books. What kind of responses do we expect on this topic?

Period. As long as the women have accepted her, she’s good!

pocohantas:
As they are alreasy throwing allegations to suit their usual stereotype. Amidst the noise, his sister has posted on Twitter that Wofai is welcome to the family. Women have her back, he father would be fine.



Make e face his other wives.

This is insane. Oh my goodness

Thanks for the better insight

Well old dude can come off his high horse 🙄

pocohantas:
It is not THEY, it is just the father.

His parents are separated.

They are obviously not close to the father as he most likely has other wives.

This is the typical situation where the man thinks they would fall back to him during their wedding and they didn't.

The guy's siblings and mother were all present at the wedding.

The father can't win this one. He is a typical Lagos old money that asides having a street to their name, have lived their time.

At first I thought it was the whole family and thought to myself, she is s___d.

Wofai is not 38. At best she is 33. When did she graduate from UNICAL to be 38?

No they don’t have to get married to anyone just because time is passing. Such a devilish vile advice

When they end up with the wrong choice you guys will still be the one to say they should have chosen better. Always looking for a reason to make sure the woman is wrong just for existing.

Rejouir:
38 year old, what has dhe been doing, from 25years to 38years being single. Women have to be wise, and get married to any serious guy willing to get married. There is no time, so you don't become left out. . Better wise up and don't waste your time with who isn't ready to get married as soon as possible.

Well you’re not him. And he’ll probably most likely almost definitely have a better life than you can ever dream of.

So type away on NL while he’s living his life

bigiyaro:
Excerpt the boy have his own money, this wedding will not last, either the girl needs serious money or desperately needs to hide under marriage. As far as I did not disvirgin you and I met you at 38, you go first born, I will do a DNA test before I will even consider marring you, if you are worth the sacrifice, in just 12 years of marriage am already fvckin a 50 year old woman, who does that? when other 42 year old men are banging up 25-30 year olds as wife.