₦airaland Forum

freecocoa: OP the money you are offering is too small joor.

-1m every month through the pregnancy

-2 million for a period of one year after the child is born.

50 million as pay off after the child is born, if you agree to this, let me know so we can meet and talk.

why don't you buy an assault rifle and rob central bank? you want 61m to be a surrogate mother? you be fat barawo.....

Ibime: Ma quotes align nicely hombres!
As you can see.. . "Drogba without stamina is useless". . . "I used to like Drogba in his first two years cos he worked like a madman" and "I thought he had stopped working hard when the goals started flowing in 2006-2007".

you are a big idiöt - you told us drogba's form was temporary and he only had a stellar season in 2006/7 which means you considered his first 2 seasons as shyte! only last week - you changed your tune that you actually loved drogba's first 2 seasons cos you felt he stopped working in 2006/7. ibime, you are a consummate rëtard - when are you ever going to put your hands up and admit you are an inscrutable charlatan?

Anyway, its a long time I been bothered about the aesthetics of DD's play. . . ma only criteria is does he produce on the pitch?. . . and anyone would tell you I've been DD's great fan since Guus Hiddink days. . . so no emotions involved. . . I didnt like a player who I thought was only good for his hardwork cos he had a poor first touch. . . he proved me wrong, I respected him. . .

this is not what we are calling you out on.......everyone of us here must have made a wrong assessment about certain players only for those players to prove us wrong - no issues with that. however, you loved drogba's 2006/7 season in 2008 and hated his first 2 seasons.....last week, you claimed you hated 2006/7 and loved drogba's first 2 seasons at chelsea.....what's with the speaking from both sides of the mouth? is this a hobby or a mere anomaly?

Compare to emotional loverboys who keep loving a complete dud for two years and changing what they said in matter of days. . .a loverboy who invented the term shekpekeeper to prove to us how "Torres keeps shape better than Drogba". . . . and a haterboy who keeps hating Lampard for 5 years even after he proves them wrong every year. . . emotional @zz ninjas!!

you typify stupidity in leaps and bounds....
torres needs support - this is not about loving/hating. does torres get enough support from his teammates in comparison with his peers in europe? i am sure you know the answer to this but you are too much of a coward to admit it!

lampard is done n dusted - when he was active, he would have singlehandedly solved the torres problem. if an inferior gerrard could do it, lampard would even do better but today's lampard is gone. it's like asking roy keane of today to battle yaya toure in the midfield...the outcome is inevitable. chelsea should find a new lampard - the old lampard should be sold in january or next summer......harry redknapp would need him to help save qpr from relegation!

stpat1: I am unmarried and would want kids 2 max.

Here's my offer, you have 1 baby and you get 250k, you have twins (will have to take fertility drugs) and get 500k.

During the pregnancy period you'll get a monthly allowance of 50k while after delivery you'll get a monthly allowance of 100k for a year or more (can be agreed on). After the kids have been handed over, you'll get 250k as severance but you'll be free to visit the kid(s) anytime.

Minimum requirement is a university degree or HND. Can come from any part of the world except Akwa Ibom and Cross river (No offense intended).

Must be a non smoker and at most a social drinker

Must be willing to go through medical check up

Must not be divorced. Can be a single parent though.

Must not be more than 30 yrs old

If these are meet other negotiations can be agreed on.

If interested pls reach me on

saintpatrics(at)gmail.com
07085694495
BB pin: 32647939.

Pics can be sent to expedite the process

i cannot believe you haven't found a successful applicant since you made this thread......with the unemployment in nigeria, your phone should be red hot by now.....choose wisely though before you roll in the hay with a witch!

nateevs: I feel you bros. Don't mind them. Emotional ninjahs talking rubbish all the time and changing their minds every nano-second.
A bit similar to these.
Ooops! My bad.

you can't keep doing this to fat ibime - he's singlehandedly the biggest fool this forum has ever produced. how do you solve a problem like ibime?

ibime: What rubbish! So Drogba is better than Torres?

ibime: Lemme spell it out: Drogba's touch is not up to league 2 level!
Drogba is finished! That is why I have been advocating to sell Drogba before he reaches thirty. This is simple analysis!

It is harmful to keep players on past glory.

ibime: I have said it before and Ill say it again, Drogba without stamina is as useless as John Carew.
Class (Anelka: 1997-2009) is permanent, whilst form (Drogba: 2006-2007) is temporary.

and only last week........ibime said this....

Ibime: I hated DD in the season he scored 30 goals and loved him in the first two seasons where he scored 16 goals each, cos I thought he had stopped working hard when the goals started flowing in 2006-2007.

The reason I started #Torreswatch was not to count Torres goals. I dont care if Torres scores only 10 goals a season as long as he provides a good base for his team to build, worries defenders and dominates the front line, or in other words "KEEP SHAPE". Dayokanu would tell you all about Drogba in 2004-2006. That was Drogba's most effective period for Chelsea. Allianz Arena knew all about him.

nateevs: Apparently, he was standing on the foot he needed to make the pass.

don't mind the shameless dayo - he doesn't know when to stop swimming in the swamp!
benitez would coach the debris out of sturridge, he has to be more responsible with the ball...running with the ball like he's maradona while he isn't - his decision to turn back and pass to mata from the good position he was in should have had his wages deducted!

men shall not live by bread alone.....

nateevs: Great. Since you have descended to the level of beer-parlour analysis, let's watch the video in real time. Hold on, I will create a gif out of the video and post in a moment.

don't waste your time on dayokanu - he is a fücking idiot...torres makes an intelligent run behind evans towards united goal and dayo says torres was hiding! was that not the same type of run he made for the anelka pass when he scored the only goal of the game? how can one be as inscrutable and criminally daft like dayo?

instead of him to raise his hands on this and agree sturridge made a horrible decision, he's still arguing for the sake of it. nothing prevented sturridge from making that pass. he coulda bent the ball round evans or even lob it over evans like anelka did for the goal.

sturridge is useless....
a good player should be releasing torres from that position. the anelka pass that torres scored from was more difficult - it was simply telepathic....it caught the united defence flat footed....chelsea should have sold sturridge n kept anelka! sturridge is a poor man's nani! bundle of pace but no single football intelligence - no wonder his stock keeps falling in the english national team!

dayokanu: Sturidge was standing on his left foot already, How would he make a pass with the same leg he is currently standing on?

Before Sturidge moved onto his left leg for the pass Torres was already in hiding perfectly hidden behind the opponent. Notice his left leg was raised to make the pass but where was torres? Hiding like Adam hid

www.nairaland.com/attachments/897032_Torres_run_jpgcb85bd9c1d31f78a2233af61b98b493c

you are a shameless football fan....
look at sturridge's position from the first pic nateevs just posted - sturridge ran with that ball for good 12 yards and did not make a pass.......are you not ashamed of your posts here? can you not see the acres of space sturridge had to deliver that ball quickly? and it's not only sturridge that has the problem - oscar/hazard and ramirez too are all guilty of running with the ball instead of looking to make an early pass.......

dayokanu: www.nairaland.com/attachments/897058_Pic_4_jpg2a0b9f504ba7cca0583daa3e74562d21

Now lets look at this pic critically, Sturridge was on his left foot and he can only make that pass with his left leg to Torres. he would need to take at least 2 steps before he can play the pass

On to the next pic, By the time he takes those 2 steps Torres has dissapeared to hide behind the United defender and the chance is gone.

This is exactly what Torres does time and again that frustrates his midfielders. Look at Hernandez and see how he moves , Do you ever see him making such Daft movement to go hide behind defenders rather he pulls aside on the shoulder and create room for the midfielder to hit the pass to

if sturridge cannot use his left foot to angle out a pass from that position then he should retire and let others have a shot in professional football....what does it take to slide a pass to torres between evra and evans? jeeeez!!!!

nateevs: You know, it's amazing how they come up with so much bollocks. In-fact, there's never substantial back up for their claims. Torres is shit without explaining why. We are suppose to have their word for it.

Look at the second phase of analysis and savour the beauty of it. From the position Anelka receives the ball, Torres is going to make a run leftwards and score. How can someone claim that his positioning is bad or that he never makes the right run after watching this?

This is what Benitez means by Torres is one striker he knows who's capable of playing in between the lines. This is a scenario of smart passer meets right run. Anelka anticipates that Torres will make that run and he makes the pass "regardless" . . This is how we should play always! Make that pass regardless!


Anelka could have passed back to Meireles on his right but he chooses the early ball and bang Torres scores.

if you do the still of the chance torres missed too that became the "miss of the millennium", it was another smart run that found him in space and one v one with de gea. there was another smart run in the first half - torres ran the channel, and made a cross to sturridge/ramirez and de gea made an amazing save that schmichel applauded! whoever says torres has no movement is being malicious - he moves very well but the passes don't find him and by the time they do, chance is lost, he would be caught offside as the defence line moves up or he gets crowded out!

queensmith: again, i'm no longer entertaining uneducated statements

hahahahahaha---
maybe you should take time and examine the brain of a male and compare to that of the female. that should help your misguided utterances on these pages.....you should get some more education too. anyone who equates a man to a woman in this day and age needs to go back to study more elementary biology....

nateevs: Dayo don't bother. This is the what happened in the build up to the first picture I posted. Don't be in a haste to judge until you've seen the true picture. Torres was almost making the run. How Danny got to the point in the first picture is what Coogar and I mean by not releasing the ball early for Torres. Anything Danny chooses to do there will work for Torres. What did he do?

you just nailed it........dayo would not return to type gibberish after this still picture....
look at sturridge - he was in the darker shade of the pitch and he should be releasing the ball from that position. the picture dayokanu is having epileptic fits about now shows sturridge in the lighter shade of the grass - that's about 6 yards distance and still - he hasn't even released the ball.


thank you very much for these still pictures - maybe now ibime and dayo would rest in peace!

dayokanu: Which 2 red shirts would the pass go through? Are those 2 red shorts pillars that they wont move? Compare this to the ones you posted about Hernandez earlier and see how much distance Chicharito puts between himself and the last defender without straying offside and compare this to Torres hiding behind the defender which I copied from Nateevs

the 2 red shirts have no chance....
they are running backwards towards their goal - torres has already stolen a march on them with that run but idiotic sturridge failed to make the pass. that split-second delay was enough to close that window of opportunity. like i have said, chelsea need to learn when to make the early pass. that pass should be arriving when sturridge was in the darker shade of the grass......

dayokanu: This is a good example of what I have been saying, By putting this out you just nailed what I have been saying about Torres.

In Pic 1 How would Sturridge get that pass to Torres ? Would he push the United defender out of the way. Use your knowledge of spatial geometry and plot how the ball would get to Torres from Sturridge without it being intercepted or you just want Sturidge to make that pass, get it intercepted and point to Torres to blame him for the missed chance?

www.nairaland.com/attachments/897032_Torres_run_jpgcb85bd9c1d31f78a2233af61b98b493c

I would look for some Hernandez gif and see what i told you about positioning. Hernandez in an earlier scenario pulls away from the defender to give the midfielder a bigger chance of hitting him with the pass not running into blind alleys or Hiding behind the defender like Torres is doing above

Look below and how Hernandez pulled away from his marker and gave the midfielder a wider space to hit the ball into without interception from the opponent

you must be a fool for writing the above.......sturridge could have put that ball behind the defender.....can u not see or you are deliberately trying to be obtuse? that pass goes between the 2 red shirts everyday of the week!

mithel: LMAO,man utd plays expansive attacking football?since whenlast time i enjoyed a man utd game was in 2008,and thats the last season,they played anything interesting.....its better watching paint dry sef.....more like watching dry paint

man utd invented attacking football.......
your owner decided to buy a football club in england after watching united tear real madrid apart at old trafford......2008 was the last time u saw united play attacking football?you must have been in prison in the last 4 yrs then.....

in 2010, this happened....

[img]http://www.abload.de/img/2_0_rooney-newzstz.gif[/img]

queensmith: Prove myself a feminist? Do I need to prove that? I believe men and women are equal, I don't need to prove that.

Ok, i'm not going to read anymore trash at face value- any further statements like this need to be backed up by science.

I'm no longer entertaining misogynist African crap.

queensmith, you need help....misogynistic african crap indeed!
there is a clear distinction between men and women - mere looking at both sexes should tell you the difference. there's a reason you are the weaker sex while i am not.....this is not sexism or misogyny - it's just what it is!

BlueDiva: Don't you guys have social lives?
You guys are always here arguing over a dead wood.

Hope Rafa will justify his appointment tomorrow.

so one has to sit @ home before one can comment on torres? bluediva, you of all people shouldn't be making this kinda statement. as i am speaking, i am @ soho eating truffles with a carribean chic under my table fellating......

222Martins: For some days now, i've noticed that billyonaire has gone underground. Rumour has it that he can't pay for his monthly bandwidth anymore. Pls where is he? For those of you who don't know who billyonaire is, he is Nairaland's imaginary rich kid. I'm really missing his views.

billionaire has belatedly realised that daydreaming about non-existent money is not going to put food on his table. he's currently among the dangote truck drivers trying to eke out a living......

jackbauersballs: Coogar please explain what these 'strengths' are...

locating his run with an early pass......that's what torres is good at! he scored 2 european final goals with these type of passes. 70% of his liverpool goals were scored this way. why has it so difficult for chelsea fc to understand this? i don't have a coaching badge and yet i can see this......why is there a similarity between the goal scored against germany in euro 2008 final and the one scored against buffon in euro 2012 final?

are the anti-torres crew idiotic or they just don't understand english language?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MA9ChVHsvmQ

once again, the last 2 goals spain scored typifies torres - an early pass, one v one with goalkeeper and bang. he could have scored spain's 4th goal through the same way but he laid it on the plate for juan mata......the common factor? the early pass 30 yards from goal!

dayokanu: People want to see evudence of midfielders making passes into open space just to prove that Torres wasnt making the run.

Juan Mata that made 35 assists in his last 3 seasons in the La Liga now doesnt know how to assist players at Chelsea

Last season he had 13 assists in the league this season he already has 6 and not midway yet despite him missing a few games at the beginning.

The same Juan Mata who has excelled playing behind David Villa and Soldado but when it comes to Torres everyone stopped knowing how to play

Lampard that was a ball of fire stopped knowing how to play, Mata that was assisting and still assiting in bucketloads stopped that, Oscar Hazard that is assisting in bucketloads stopped doing that.

ALL THESE WHEN THEY STARTED PLAYING WITH TORRES

dayokanu musta been born a tool.....

whatever mata achieved in la liga is irrelevant
he's now @ chelsea where the style of play is vastly different. just because a player made 20,000 assists in la liga does not mean he would replicate the same in the premier league! kezman was lethal in eredivisie - how did he fare @ chelsea? when you continue to make daft analogies, i would continue to treat you like an obnoxious swine!

mata's 13 league assists last season are also irrelevant in this argument because torres scored from some of them and far majority of them are from set pieces.....on top of my head, i remember the only goal torres scored last season against man utd, it was a long pass from anelka - torres made the run behind united defence, got himself one on one against de gea and finished exquisitely - only a plonker like dayokanu can say torres does not make runs to receive long passes.....just admit the current set up don't have a clue yet to play to the strengths of torres....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY-FUfHUbiE&sns=em

@ 5.45

and these are all the goals he scored last season(including internationals) - surprise surprise, 90% of the goals torres scored for spain were as a result of early pass hat set him through on goal and yet some idiotic troglodytes like dayo, ibime and other herbivores claim xavi and iniesta have no clue on how to play to the strengths of torres...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6Vk-lrQJi0

ibime and the rest of the anti-torres crew, over to you........

dayokanu: The first chance Sturridge missed against west broom was a long raking pass from Mata. How come Mata can't deliver those when Torres is on the field

That's because Sturridge was making the right run which Torres doesn't make

can we see a clip of this "tale by moonlight"??

pazienza: Are yorubas ahead of igbos in education today? There is a thread on 'nigeria's academia in diaspora' look for it,and see who is leading in that aspect of human endevour,and we have jamb enrolement statistics to support our claim of dominance on that sector. Yorubas are not ahead of ndiigbo in education today. Awo's free education failed.

awo's free education failed? then i have no doubt you have the brain capacity of a slug.

the free education awo provided catered for the south west was way before jamb! when your own grand fathers were concerned with investing in cocoa pods, youths in the south west were busy schooling and producing doctors and professors in multitudes!

besides, jamb enrolment statistics does not prove the south east has any dominance - the graduating stats is a more balanced view of who has actually passed through the 4 walls of a school not who enrolled and dropped out to start selling spare parts @ alaba market!

there's no leader like obafemi awolowo in the history of nigeria - his achievements should be a template for any aspiring leader - chinua achebe is just a bitter sad man who should let sleeping dogs lie. he should direct his anger to ojukwu who led millions of people to their early graves because of a senseless war he poorly prepared for!

debosky: What 'flurry of passes' was evident in the near 60 minutes Torres wasn't on the pitch against Juve?

against juve and city, chelsea did not create any meaningful chance - they were that poor but some goblins expect torres to fashion out a chance all by himself and score.

This is part of the problem - if your rack your brains you might remember one pass, or two passes. Are y'all expecting 100% or even 50% chance conversion from Torres? Is that what other strikers produce?

that's really the problem with chelsea.....
they create 2 chances in 90 mins for torres with none of them a clear cut chance and they expect torres to score. it's a shame liverpool with their crap midfield creates a dozen chances for suarez to score every match day! suarez can score a hatrick in a match and still squander 6 chances.....

4llerbuntu: erm this euro 2012 golden boot thing that coogar mouths every now and then, is it the same 3 goal golden boot or another one?
LWTMB!!!

that competition also had gomez, zlatan, ronaldo, benzema, balotelli, di natale, etc - why didn't these strikers score more than 3 goals? torres played far less minutes than these predators and yet still beat them to the golden boot? can you explain that?

anyway i think we can now safely conclude from the various "submissions" made on here that MAZACA are crap and have failed miserably in their singular duty to assist torres.

they are not crap!
MAZACAR is still young and they are coachable. di matteo was the fool who couldn't work out how to bring the best out of torres....there's no reason one of those 3 midfielders shouldn't be hitting a long pass to torres to surprise torres' markers.....

so can we then dispose of them and go get the type of "intelligent" midfielders that can supply the hernandesque passes that will enable the 50 million not go to waste?

MAZACAR haven't even reached their peak yet and you want them disposed - really?

we have sha tried 3 coaches now, we tried lampard, no dice, we have tried mazaca, same thing. therefore lets get other capable midfielders.

there's no doubt lampard of 2003-2009 would have done wonders for torres but the dude has lost his vision now. he's old, offers nothing defensively or offensively. with proper coaching and drilling, MAZACAR can be drilled into making the long pass more often than their tippy-tappy football skills.

pls recommend. and other coaches too in case this one cannot do the job
Torres FC

nothing to recommend.....the present personnel can work wonders and i know fat spanish waiter knows what to do!

Ibime: Says the man who's been losing the same argument for the last two years!!!

which argument have i lost? you people are the losers in this argument - torres is still @ chelsea and the manager you fellate on regularly has been sacked - why? it's not even a secret roman sacked di matteo because he couldn't bring out the best in torres and hired a trusted hand in the management of torres! you must have failed logic in school!

This week, everybody sit behind the halfway line still isnt working for Torres.

listen to yourself - when did everyone sit behind torres? are you having those your nightmares again? you just make things up like a lunatic. it was on this thread we brought the torres escapades @ liverpool, it was on this thread i suggested torres needs to get his passes early.....it was on this thread i opined the team should be built around torres. the problem is torres does not fit the chelsea dna....it's a square peg in a round role. bring torres to the emirates, old trafford or white hart lane(3 teams who play expansive attacking football and torres would be scoring 30 goals per season easily)

According to them, the only thing that works for Torres is sit behind the half-way line and play 50 yard balls that would put him clear. Thats a job for Sunday Oliseh, the King of 50-yard through passes ala Tunisia 94'!!

obese mumu.....
is that how united get the best of hernandez? look at the gifs again, you pillock. they weren't even counter attacks but smart build up(especially the scholesy 40 yard pass) see how van persie sucked out his marker to the half way line with hernandez running into that space....:all those things are football intelligence......something you would never see @ chelsea and they want torres to score like falcao - na yam?

Ibime: I think the "flurry of passes" Daniel Sturridge received in 15 minutesagainst West Brom have already proved who is not making the run.

you are a tool.....
we have been here for the last 12 hrs and i have asked you to show just one gif of MAZACAR pinging a 25-55 yard pass to torres and none of you can provide one evidence...why are people so daft or deliberately want to be thick because they have lost an argument?

Some of these analysts are paper footballers. Which player starts spraying passes in the direction of a marked man who refused to free himself from his markers. Can you imagine the nonsense some of these paper footballers are coming up with? They want you to post gifs of flurry of passes made to a marked man. hehehe.

it's the computer age - a 21 year old lad bagged a managerial job through his FM skills
i don't need a coaching badge to assemble a team or see what works - the distinction is very clear.....in man utd, we have different strikers with different attributes and we bring out their best with different build ups......see all the gifs i posted again and measure the exact spot where the final ball was played - admit it, this does not happen in chelsea with MAZACAR. the last time i saw a long pass @ chelsea was from frank lampard!!!

you have resorted to your usual ebonics - MAZACAR don't hit long passes - they dribble or make short intricate passes that slow the build up play - and we have seen that these kinda sëxy football does not suit fernando torres. if di matteo didn't see this then he's not worthy to keep a job! if the passes are made and torres was not making the run, commentators would mention it like debosky said but these things don't even happen when chelsea play!

Rooneyboy: Thank u so much for this piece, really bro its scares me to my bones when friends discuss their escapades .

The problem I think we do have in this country is "ignorance"----- so many young people are just so ignorant about this disease.

the problem is ignorance, stupidity and the non-challant attitude.....

imagine a man who sleeps with 5 different women regularly without protection and then goes to a bathing salon with his own clipper......i mean, how do you explain such men? he exposes himself to the bigger risk while attending to the minor risk!