dragonEmperor:
Heaven is boring. Most xtians know this

how can you make a statement like this. Have you been to heaven before?? Heaven can never be boring!

I think its funny and interesting

Sai Baba,

How far o. We no dey see your brake light again. Wetin happen now?

How come you don’t talk to us anymore? Abi is our mouth smelling or is it the body odor?

We apologize if it is the “BO,” it’s just that we have not had light for some days now. Plus we have to queue for fuel for hours under the hot sun and by the time we come back with all that sweat and stress, the BO is unavoidable.
To be honest, things have been really difficult without you around. We miss you.

I remember in 2015 when I was still dating Jonathan my ex … that did not stop you you used to toast us every day with those sweet sweet jingles and free free recharge card with that your friend “Osinbajo.” You used to call us at odd hours of the night just to tell us how much you cared for us.

And on the weekends … ah!

It was party time! We used to groove to that band … the “Ogas At The Top.” They used be so good! Releasing hit after hit … especially the classic “Drunk in Power.” I bet you remember the video …



But since you entered Aso Rock the “Ogas At The Top” have “suddenly” stopped recording songs and you sef, you have forgotten about us! When we flash your number you don’t even pick. Why now?

And even when we visit … you send your gateman Shehu to give us message. That’s if you are even at home. Most of the time you have traveled to the abroad …

Nowadays we only get to see you on Television, not National but International!

Big man, we hail you o. Me sef I will like to go to the abroad one day, but with the falling Naira I no fit afford dollars for my trip.

Talking about the abroad Mr. President, how come you only send us messages when you travel?

It reminds me of my past relationship when I was the side chick and my boyfriend was cheating on me and only used to text but not call.

Is Nigeria your side chick? Are you cheating on us with another country? When will you visit Nigeria next? Not Aso Rock … the real Nigeria? The one you used to visit in 2015 when you wanted us. Do you remember this picture we took together … in Nigeria? We looked so happy and you looked so handsome =D

GEN-BUHARI-STORM-BORNU-0A

Anyway, I have sweet gist for you sha.

Do you know that some herdsmen killed hundreds of people last month. It’s been very crazy, people are very worried that others might retaliate by killing their cattle which might affect the nations supply of Suya! And Nigeria without suya is very scary!

When we went to talk to you to gist about the suya herdsmen, your senior gateman Mr.Mohammed said that you people were dealing with the issue silently.

But people are complaining about this “silence” they are saying that the “silence” is too “silent” … but leave them, they don’t understand that “silence” works “silently!”

And before I forget, have you people found the 2016 budget yet? Do you think they will find it before 2016 is over? We have like 7 months left. I know Aso Rock is big and all, so it might be difficult to search the whole place before the year is over. But hopefully you find it soon.

Talking about finding, I found some CHANGE in my pocket recently.

I remember in 2015 when you used to shout that you will give us CHANGE we are finally seeing the CHANGE but it is not what we expected, we did not know the CHANGE will be CHANGE in our wallet. But it’s okay, we just have to be patient after all change is gradual …

Anyway I have to run, the generator is coughing, the fuel will soon finish … And I have to get ready for my new job tomorrow morning. Surprise! I bet you did not know I had a job =)

I will be working with an international Chinese Masquerade Company in the South East, where I will be helping them UnCloth and dress Masquerades, I am so excited, the pay is unbelievable and benefits are out of this world. Check out a picture of one of the Masquerades our company will be designing …

ijele

Anyway, please remember to bring me Chocolate from the abroad and one jerry can of fuel … 25 liters specifically abeg. And please call us, we want to hear your voice again. Hope you still have our number sha …. lots of love.

PS: And please greet your Minister of Silence … I mean “Finance” for us. Sai Baba!

Sincerely,

Nigeria

http://ofilispeaks.com/open-email-letter-to-mbuhari-oga-how-far-by-ofilispeaks/

Irep Lumen Christi international high school!

When you don't have money life is always f*cked up.....Get your hustle on. We are all under the same sky, so we have equal opportunities to succeed. Teebillz should work hard and be a man. But......Tiwa if really you slept with those people when you were married then you're an as*hole

Beautiful. Terrorising men with her beauty.

Yes it's possible. But if you really want to grow and expand faster than you ordinarily would, then you need a bank loan. The bank loan helps you to get your dream in a record time. If u want to buy an equipment for like 3million and you get a bank loan for it you can buy the equipment in like 6 months. But if you want your profit to get to 3million it can take like 2 to 3 years of saving

Beautiful, she's got a very sweet smile.

How can it be possible when inflation is on the rise, fuel sells now at 200 naira per litre. Very impossible. Even as most of them wear 2 shirts every week, to save money so that they can move ahead in life, its still difficult. The only way it's possible is if the Parents are rich and the workers inherits fortune or he is extremely hardworking and have a VERY viable business. If not all the rich civil servants are looters.

He tried. First time i saw lights in Agbor for 3days straight and i saved 12k on diesel for the 3days. The annoying thing now is no more power after he left.

Some of you saying my wife will be my next of kin. What if something happens to you and she gets married again and she is the type that makes the husband next of kin and something eventually happens to her. Will the children not lose everything? No matter how small the child is its of my own opinion to make the first child nxt of kin. If you have other properties your other children canbe nxt of kin there too

talktonase:
how dollar take affect the pure water wey them dey make for back yard abi is the water imported?

The nylon for the sachet use to be 600k now 920k didn't you see that part??

dovelike:
NL guys dem are ugly kaiiiiiiiiii

not all of them...nxt time plz don't generalise.

Everybody just wants popularity....why tweet at Kanye West?? Did he share the cucumber with your dad??

How will they know the poorest 1million people ?

Foolishness

Ewooooo! I happen to know the girl who did the snatching oo. Rume! DELSU!

Nice...VERY BEAUTIFUL!

Don't believe this. Watched an experienced analyst on oooil and gas saying it cost $15 to produce 1 barrel of crude...if so how can we be losing money

Poverty is the cause of many problems we Nigerians are facing...I'm very sure the man and his wife were high and was been controlled by the "Igbo".

This is still rubbish. We are crying that MAJORITY of Nigerians are suffering and now they are bringing this. Plus now there's a loop hole. The Nigerians i know will now only be paying to themselves. When you want to deposit in someone's account, you withdraw and pay in the person's name. Jst to avoid the Useless 50naira stamp

Miss. She really knows how to miss. Very few cute pictures she has.

I am very sure the FG wouldn't comply.

Hadez have you tried letting the one Abroad know that he isn't giving you much attention as he used to...if yes what were his reasons for that, is it school work or other things...if you've done you didn't state. For me Yahoo isn't the way forward and i am vehemently against that. Stop taking his gifts it's cursed money, except you want to share in the rot of his ill gotten money.

Lies

StrawberryCream:
Jesu

Something just crossed my mind ... Wonder what his

badt girl....it will be as long as your legs....LOL

chocolateme:
so after the selection of the ones you accessed and ignored, who will go for them. If I catch you there.

Everyody and their specs now. So their kind of guy would go for them.....now lemme c your picture

ojnnaco:

Exactly !!!! I love ur experience ..Lol

That's not my experience bro...just saying. Way too dope to experience something like that....Lol

ojnnaco:

Exactly !!!! I love ur experience ..Lol

That's not my experience bro...just saying. Way too dope to experience something like that...

When they do don't be surprised when the following statement will be "my elder bro from another mother". Lol

bigtt76:
Buhari..... Please remove the CBN Governor..... he's the weakest link

what do you know about Economics that you are asking the CBN governor to be removed let alone calling him the weakest link??

Yes ooo. I wonder why they would want to do that in the first place when their aids and numerous girlfriends can buy new prado jeeps and 2015 Range rover jeeps