₦airaland Forum

Having a relationship with some means you have something in common with a particular person. In a nutshell, it means you accept that person irrespective of anything.

We've had alot of relationship crashed, so many celebs who crashed in their relationship within a twinkle of an eye. What could have led to that?. There are several things which might have led to ending a relationship.

1. Cheat: This is very rampant in most relationship whereby one will be having an external affair with another person. What baffle me most is that even some married men and women engage in this act.

2. Love for material things: Yes! You love him/her because of money, jewerries, phones e.t.c. and did you know that can crash your relationship. Lots of relationships has bee cut-short because of this.

3. Beauty, attraction and handsomeness: If 70% of the love you have for that person falls here, believe me, the relationship is about crashing. What if the beauty now fades or all of a sudden there is a disfugure in that handsomeness which keeps you in that relationship?.

4. Influence from friends, families e.t.c: Influence! Hmmmm!. DON'T because of an influence jump into a relationship. That influential person might be anybody BUT you shouldn't use that to accept to be in a relationship of anyone you don't LOVE. Influence of those people also helps to bring up a relationship ONLY if you both like not just admire but LOVE eachother.

5. Love is blind: This people usually say but I don't engage in such. As long as you can't date a mental illness person then why saying "Love is blind". Wise up and do not be among those who blinds in that.. Love is no longer blind. Gone are the days when people say that.

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Lol. . It's simply Organsm

Some guys spend weeks, months trying to make a girl happy. Some girls wait endlessly for their guys to call. Is that all your life is about? For your lover to validate you? Or to make a relationship work?

Instead, why not focus on yourself -working on your goals, learning something, being a more positive person and helping others. That will boost your self-esteem far more than any lover ever could. Don't do something permanently stupid because something got you temporarily upset. No one falls in love by choice, it's by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it's by work but no one falls out of love by choance, it's by choice. That's the circle of love.

Don't pour out your whole energy on a person who doesn't deserve it. Next time that guy or girl treats you badly, say thank you. . . thank you for reminding me that I need to make myself the focus of my life, not you.

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Personally, I must congratulate the C.E.O. of Nairaland, Mr. Seun Osewa for putting up such a masterpiece called Nairaland. We celebrate the celebrity in you.

Posts on Nairaland Forum, over the years, has helped a lot of people and also changed people's perception on certain issues. Believe me when I say these posts have saved lives!

Big ups to everyone keeping we the followers posted by the second. God bless! Like play, like play we go soon reach 2 million members too. Repping *HopeSignatures*

cc: Seun, tosyne2much, lalasticlala, Ishilove

A reminder to ignorant South Africans who feel the need to attack those who helped them in ways that can never be repaid. Never bite the fingers that fed you!

South African rapper,AKA seems very pissed at the moment and he’s ranting on twitter.

The rapper was commenting on the recent Xenophobic violence in South Africa that has left quite a number of foreigners dead and several others fleeing their homes for fear of being attacked.

AKA is obviously not happy about the recent development and he took to Twitter to express his displeasure. His tweet read:

“Headed to Nigeria, Ghana and Tanzania shortly…And for the 1st time I’ll be ashamed of my South African passport”


Unfortunately, some South Africans got on his nerve the more when the asked him shut up and do something about it. AKA was sure not having any of it. He even went as far as calling on former South African president, Thabo Mbeki to step in and save the day.

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Mtcheww... Stupidity! So they want more people to die before they know they will do something. Clueless people!

National Chairman of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), Professor Attahiru Jega, whose five-year tenure expires in June, has said he would not accept reappointment.

If reappointed by incoming Administration of Major-General Muhammadu Buhari (retd) of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Jega will serve for another five years ending in June 2020, long enough to conduct the 2019 general elections.

However, in an interview with the Hausa Service of British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), yesterday, on whether or not he will agree to remain in office after June, Jega said he has had enough. He said:

“I am grateful to God. I was asked to come and contribute my own quota to the national development, and I have done my bit to the best of my ability. Whatever assignment one will do for five years – just like this difficult one, to me, if one is able to successfully accomplish the task, someone else should be given the opportunity because for me I am not interested and if I am requested to serve again, I will not do it, by God’s grace.”

He continued: “I have served as INEC chairman for five years and it is okay for me. I have given my contribution for success of the country. If I am given any appointment, I will completely reject it. At least some body should be given a chance.”

Jega and other election officials have been accused of bias and malpractice in their conduct of the March 28 Presidential and National Assembly elections where Buhari beat incumbent President Goodluck Jonathan of the Peoples DemocraticParty (PDP) that has been in power since 1999. The PDP also lost the majority in the National Assembly and will not produce the Senate President and Speaker of the House of Representatives in the next dispensation beginning in June.

Jega, appointed by President Jonathan to replace Professor Maurice Iwu in 2010, said he was not bothered about the allegations of bias against him by the PDP because they are false.

“I maintained my calmness because I knew all the allegations were false. There is nothing that frightens me or disturbs me because for all our actions, we have explanations for them.”

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Popular OAP, Adaeze was reportedly released late yesterday/early this morning by her abductors and is currently on admission in a hospital in Ghana.

There is an announcement from her colleague and an update from a Ghana website on the incident

"Y Lounge Presenter, Adaeze Onyinyechie Ayoka known in media circles as Ada is currently on admission at the female/maternity ward at the Ghana Ports and Harbour Authority (GPHA) Hospital in Takoradi after she was released by the abductors.

www.233times.com’s Nana Kwesi Coomson together with the Takoradi Y FM General Manager, Franklin Kofi Fiati this morning visited the Regional Crime Office atCentral Police Station where the Officer revealed that he cannot give any information since any credible information should come from the Presenter herself and not anyone. He urged to team to relay information to the office to aid them in their investigations.

From the Regional Crime Office in Takoradi, the team proceeded to the GPHA Hospital where administrators did not allow anyoneto see Ada. Their reason being that,the Doctor on duty, Dr. Boateng is checking up on admitted patients atthe facility and the team could come back at 12pm.

“She is sleeping now so even if we allow you people to see her, you cannot talk to her. She is well and has no bruises on her. Her dreadlocks are shaved, that’s the only thing I can say” the hospital told www.233times.com.

According to the hospital, information circulating in media that the Police brought her to the hospital is false because the traumatized Presenter was brought by her neighbors to the hospital.According to her colleagues, the Y Lounge Presenter was threatened by some unknown people last year. Together with Julius, the Programmes Manager of the station then, she reported the case to the police.

“In the threatening text, she was told by the people that she was going to die, they will kill her” her colleague at Y FM told www.233times.com.

“The last time Ada was seen at workwas the Thursday before Easter Friday. I even had a chat with her on Easter Friday, since then I haven’t heard from her and haven’t seen her too” Kwame Legend, the morning show host of Y FM told www.233times.com.

The abductors according to Ada’s Y FM colleagues circulated the nude pictures of her via her Whats App number and her Facebook. They revealed that, Giovanni, a presenter at Y FM in Accra reported the incident to Facebook and her account was blocked by Facebook administrators.

According to deep throat neighbor who wants to be anonymous,

“she came home last night around 12amand she started knocking at the door. As soon as we saw her, she started asking for food and when she was given the food, she started hitting us with the food given her. She was taken to the hospital around 1am.”

When a Journalist visited Ada this dawn at the GPHA Hospital, she was asked by a nurse whether she knows the Journalist. Ada according to the Journalist looked at her and started shouting

“where is my baby, that tinny little baby, she is hungry, I have to give her food. She is hungry”

www.233times.com is currently at the hospital and would updateMore soon….

Author: Nana Kwesi Cooms on (www.233times.com)

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He stole your girlfriend....

She snatched your husband.....

And you're throwing tantrums, threatening fire and brimestone? You ought to be jailed for life, enemy of progress!

Can't you emulate GEJ and Agbaje? Concede defeat, call him/her and congratulate them for stealing/snatching your spouse! The hour of CHANGE has come..do not be left behind.

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A few weeks ago, Amber Rose took to instagram to say she was dreaming, praying, hoping that she'd get back with her ex-husband, Wiz Khalifa. Looks like Wiz didn't take the bait...

During a red carpet interview at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday night, Amber kinda admitted her public plea for reconciliation with Wiz didn't work. When asked about the instagram post and if she and Wiz were getting back together, Amber told ET;

"I don't know. I think we're just working on our friendship right nowand co-parenting for Sebastian."

Ooops, that sounds like a no.Meanwhile Wiz has been posting cryptic messages about saying No, thank you, on twitter.

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justified19:
lol, wat of d revival kiss?

Lol, I be goat? when it's not like you are eating my mouth

justified19:
funny, dis is coming from a lady?










ok,op, which of these dont u do?

I don't think I love the zebra look. Lol

Kissing your man is not a problem, The problem is how you do it. Stop making sounds like a car crash. Screaming during sex is romantic and its not a problem,The problem is screaming and shouting like "JESUS, Oh my God, Holy mary".. You are having sex, Not a Church service! And besides I don't know if you are reminding God to punish you later.

Wearing short skimpy skirts or dresses is not a problem in fact its very sexy I just pray there won't be forced entry into your Sin Hole, The problem is wearing your mini looking all nice and walking around and when you see guys you try to pullit down, Now you want it to be long?.... Ai.. Keep deceiving urself . Loving your man is not a problem but the problem is changing your Surname to his on Facebook. Gal his mother doesn't even know you ...Chill!! And I would hate to read ur post later saying MEN ARE WICKED OR CHEATS.

Calling all men dogs is not the problem, The problem is tagging yourself a saint when you know he didn't fvck himself but you.. So since you did it with him, kindly say I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH A DOG OR DOGS as the case may be and please let us know the breed of dogs you came to the world from 'cause ur dad is male too and your mum have always been his bed partner. Some girls are looking for tall guys with pink lips and six packs when their father is short, pot bellied with fat tick lips you better be contented like your Mother

Bleaching your skin is not a problem, The problem is having white face, yellow hands, chocolate lips and black legs. Are you zebra? At the end of the day your kitten will show the true colour.

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That vibrator looks good sha

Just few moments after Senator Aisha of Taraba state was said to have won the Taraba state election. INEC has once again declared the election inconclusive. A re-run would be conducted is said to be conducted some PUs.

Meanwhile APC is crying foul play and there has been calls to save Taraba from massive post election bloodshed.

Residents of Taraba state under a group called the Taraba Peoples Assembly (TPA) has appeal to the Resident Electoral Commissioner (REC), Alhaji Hamad Makama tosave the state from bloodshed that might follow announcement of allegedly doctored results in the state.

TPA warns against outbreak of crisis if INECresult does not reflect the peoples’ wish. The group in a statement signed by its coordinator Martins Andekin called on INEC chairman Professor Attahiru Jega to immediately probe bribery allegation against Makama.

“A major party has alleged that Makama has been heavily bribed by a former general in the state to declare a candidate from the Southern Senatorial district, he has since refuse to clear the air onthis allegation. We are worried about what Taraba might be if doctored results are declared, the peace currently enjoyed in the state could be upturned. As a peace loving people who came out to exercise their franchise, our will must be respected. It is known that everybody wants change,” the group said.

TPC called for the total cancellation of in the Southern Zone due to massive irregularities that marred the entire process. TPA said the election result coming from Southern Taraba has been highly doctored, the zone has the lowest collection of PVC but suddenly has the highestnumber of voters,

“We should also note that one Bala Adi from the zone has been in charge of INEC card readers configuration and distribution, Adi is a strong advocate of power shift to the South at all cost,” it added.

Also more than four people have been killed so far in this contest, we recall that no single life was lost during the presidential election when the APC won.

Four people has been killed in Suntai, Bali LG, Kankanji in Takum LG, Kasamibila and Karim Lamido LG. INEC returning officers who refused to manipulate the result were attacked in the central zone.

The Army under the instruction of General TY Danjuma also intimidate voters, change collation centers. Also the APC Chairman Alh. Ardo Jika said Kurmi,Donga,Wukari,Takum, Karim Lamido and Zing local Government areas have questionable results.

He said that the results from their agents were different from what the returning officers brought to the state collation centre at Jalingo.

He noted that many wards ignored the use of Card-Reader,whereby some polling units that made use of Card-Reader were given access results where number of vote cast is more than number of accredited voters.”

Meanwhile a previous statement issued by Senator Aisha's group read:

"Within the last hour, we received a very disturbing news that Alhaji Hamad Makama, the Returning Electoral Commissioner forTaraba state, is refusing to release the Taraba South election results. He is alleged to have collected N1billion bribe from Abuja, with a view to manipulating the results in favour of PDP, thus denying Senator Aisha Al-Hassan her mandate as the duly elected Executive Governor of the state.

Based on results collated by agents and independent observers alike, everybody knows that Senator Aisha Al-Hassan is theduly elected Executive Governor of Tarabastate. No amount of bribery and delay tactic by the Jonathan cabal can deny Senator Aisha her historic victory, and the electorates’ mandate.

Alhaji Hamad Makama, be informed that your name is already in file. Your action is considered a war crime by legal experts. We will therefore leave no stone unturned in making sure that you show up at the ICC!

We urge all law abiding Nigerians, especially the good people of Taraba to remain on vigil until this treacherous gangster releases the full results as recorded in every Polling Unitin the state.
May God save Nigeria and Nigerians.Ameen."

Five star music sensation, Harrison Tare Okiri (popularly known as Harrysong) is currently in a mourning state. The only child of his parents lost his dad, Dennis Okiri, on Friday, April 10, 2015. to a brief illness just two weeks after his 34th birthday.

Harrisong who once spoke in an interview on why his parents separated said

"They separated because I was given birth to by two relations. My father and mother are actually brother and sister. They gave birth to me before they could realize that. It was a big abomination, so they had to separate. Even, they attempted to kill my father in that village, but he fled, because in Warri where I come from, it is a taboo. They termed it incest."

In the words of his publicist, Desmond Ike, who allegedly confirmed the sad news: -

“Yes its true, the call just came in a few minutes ago and he is currently demoralized. We’ll put out an official statement soon, please excuse me, I have take care of something now, I got to go, thanks.”

May his soul rest in peace, Amen.

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See guys, there is a difference between a girlfriend and a wife. Some guys even love their gf more than their mother forgetting that a mother's tears affects the heart, while a gf tears affects the pocket. If you are over 30 and you don't know this difference, then there is a problem with you o. A wife is accommodating, but a gf can be. . . . . (i no talk anything o)

Take watching football with them for instance:

Husband: Oooooooooohhhhh!!!!! Messi is a fool! That simple penalty he cannot score. During my days ehn. . .
Wife: Honey, you will give yourself heart attack o

{five minutes later, Suarez scores}

Husband: GOOOOOOOALLLLL!!!! Suarez!!!
Wife: Baby, did they score?
Husband: No, they were only having voice training.
Wife: Hehehehe, funny you. Let me go to the kitchen and make your favourite food so you can enjoy the match. Love you.

°°°°°°°°°°°
See nice talk. But if nah some girlfriend
°°°°°°°°°°°

Gf: which teams are playing?
Guy: Arsenal vs Manchester united
Gf: oooh wonderful ! I love arsenal.
Guy: that's a good team...
Gf: is drogba playing?
Guy: he doesn't play these for these teams...
Gf: okay boo...is that chris brown?
Guy: [bored] no he is chamberlain...
Gf: okay but they look the same.. Is ronaldo still playing for Man U?
Guy: No! He is playing for Real Madrid
Gf: Mtcheww. . . No wonder their players are not sexy. what's that yellow card for?
Guy: its a warning to the player...

{After few minutes Rooney scores for Manchester united....}

Gf: [cerebrates in high mood] is that chamberlain who has scored?
Guy: [calmly] no its Rooney for Manchester united...!!
Gf: [furious] how? it should be arsenal who should have scored!!
Guy: [silent]
Gf: what is that red card for?
Guy: [bored] that means the player should go out of the pitch for his misbehaving...
Gf: then is he going to be a coach?
Guy:[unwilling to answer] aaaaaaarrrgh NO...
Gf: its the same with traffic lights, yellow=warning ,red=danger.
Guy: exactly darling ...
Gf: what about the green card?
Guy: mmmm nothing of that kind in a field of play....
Gf: I want arsenal to win the world cup sha...
Guy: [silent]
Gf: who is that man standing who looks like mr bean?
Guy: [bored] it's the arsenal coach ....arsene wenger.
Gf: that means the other opponent's coach is manchester wenger?
Guy: AH GOD!!! O baby, e don do. Ngwanu, can you please leave my house. I never marry you yet, see questions, If i marry you nko? You go turn FBI? I no do again. Nah by force to love? I no love again. It's OVERRRR!!!

Shey I lie? Wetin sef? Even me wey dey type don dey vex!

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Brought to you exclusively by facebook.com/hopesignatures


{PREMIER LEAGUE}


A very interesting match that just ended minutes ago between Manchester United and Manchester City, in which Man. City were beaten 4~2. The game which saw James Milner, David Silva, and Vincent Kompany receive yellow cards for the Man. city side ended in favour of the red devils.

Sergio Aguero opened the scoreline to give Man. City an early lead in the 8th minute saw Ashley Young equalize in the 14th minute. Man. United moved up with a goal from Marouane Fellaini in the 27th minute andd that ended the first half. The second half resumed with Juan Mata and Chris Smalling bringing the scoreline to 4~1 in the 67th and 73rd minute respectively. But Manchester City were not to end the match without adding another goal as Sergio Aguero completed his brace in the 89th minute. The match which ended 4~2 in favour of the home side who played at Old Trafford and had a large spectators of 75313 also had contriversial referee, Mark Clattenburg officiating the match.


Meanwhile, at Loftus Road, Cesc Fabregas scored a late a winner to maintain Chelsea’s seven-point lead at the top of the Premier League table and put a huge dent inthe survival hopes of Queens Park Rangers. The 88th-minute goal was Chelsea’s first shot on target at Loftus Road and was harsh on QPR, who had tested Chelsea goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois on at least three occasions.

Chelsea's Didier Drogba and QPR's duo of Bobby Zamora & Sandro received yellow cards in the 60th, 75th and 78th minute respectively. Andre Marriner was the officiating referre before a crowd of 17939 spectators. With a game in hand over second-placed Arsenal, this west London derby success underlines the fact Jose Mourinho’s men should now clinch the title with few problems.

Arsenal were playing away to Burnley in a match that simply ended 1~0 with Aaron Ramsey grabbing the winner in the early minutes of the game. The only yellow cautions of the game was handed un the 25th and 27th minutes to Burnley's Ben Mee & Michael Duff respectively.

Officiated by Mike Dean before 20165 spectators, Arsenal's unlikely late title challenge gained further momentum when Aaron Ramsey struck the winning goal in the 12th minute at Burnley to record their eighth consecutive victory.Ramsey, the outstanding individual on show, finished strongly early in the first half to leave Arsene Wenger's men just four points behind Chelsea albeit with the leaders having two games in hand, the first of which is at QPR on Sunday.

Liverpool have a game against Newcastle coming up later on. If Liverpool win, they will move up from increase their points from 54 to 57 thereby moving up to 5th position on the table and leading Southampton with a point.

#MatchResults
Swansea City 1-1Everton
Southampton 2 - 0 Hull City
Sunderland 1 - 4 Crystal Palace
Tottenham Hotspur 0 - 1 Aston Villa
West Bromwich Albion 2 - 3 Leicester City
West Ham United 1 - 1 Stoke City
Burnley 0 - 1 Arsenal
Queens Park Rangers 0 - 1 Chelsea
Manchester United 4 - 2 Manchester City

#Top5Table
1. Chelsea ~ 73
2. Arsenal ~ 66
3. Manchester United ~ 65
4. Manchester City ~ 61
5. Southampton ~ 56

Now listen:

You go to a bar to drink and relax. You meet a beautiful girl. You can't say what happened but to be frank you both did not have sex o but you woke up only to find your d!ck inside her in a brothel. Seriously, the sex part wasn't there, but you can't explain how your "ibebe" catwalked into her "kitten" *Nothing is new under the sun*

You wake her up, then she suddenly faints and you take her to the hospital,and the Doctor says to You

"Congrats,You are going to be a father",

THATS IT, YOU GET STRESSED. You say

"But that baby is not mine", the girl says "You are the father",

YOU GET MORE STRESSED and you demand a DNA test to prove your innocence, the doctor arrives and a DNA test is done, the DNA report comes,it tells You are infertile nd can never have children.

What!!!? YOU GET EVEN MORE STRESSED. Anyhow you thank God that this ordeal is over nd start driving home,then You start thinking,

"The DNA revealed I am infertile,but at home I already have 2 kids,whose are those??"

NOW THATS WHAT REAL STRESS IS!

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Love Her.. When she sips your drink. She only wants to be sure it wasn't poisoned and also that it tastes just right for you

Love Her.. When she is jealous. There are many fishes in the river but there are better fishermen with better nets. Out of all the men she can have, she chose you.....

Love her..When she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts.YOU have them too, if you bath with your clothes on, then you can condemn her..

Love her..When her cooking is bad. She tries for you. A bitter soup is better than a poisoned shawarma. *Teach her*

Love her..When she makes you watch corny love dramas while sports is on.She wants to share these moments with you. She's not telling you to play el classico with her in your bedroom, she wants something deeper..

Love her..When she spends hours to get ready for a party. She only wants to look her best. Be it for you or for her friends, she knows only those who dress their best with you are fit to be by your side.

Love her..When she buys you gifts you don't like. She puts in her savings in there for you. She could afford to save that for a brand new Mary Kay Ash set.

Love her..When often her eyes water suddenly. She actually did have a thought of loosing you. She needs that reassurance

Take time to make her feel special in every way you can & even if you don't..SHE'LL LOVE YOU ANYWAY !!' Want to know why? 'Cause it has never been about her,its always all about You

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To be frank, my own question would be "Satan, can't you ditch your pride and repent so we can all go back to the garden of eden naked?"

I read the first one that says "If You Meet God And He Allowed You To Ask Him One Question, What Would It Be?"

So I felt it should have a sequel since there are two sides of a coin. Lets see those that have liver.

{facebook.com/hopesignatures}

This is one of the most shared photo on social media today. Apparently she on the right used to be the he on the left, but now the he on the left is now a she on the right. Lol. . . I don confuse jare

Guys abeg, before you date any girl, make sure you ask for her childhood pics. This world don turn to something else o.

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The fast rising Ragga/Reggae singer shared the photo on instagram and captioned it 'InstagramJuice'

Members of Somali Islamic sect, Al-Shabab, stormed Kenyan's Garissa University College very early this morning and massacred students and staff of the school.

According to new reports, 147 people lost their lives in the horrific incident which is so far the deadliest terrorist attack in Kenya. Another 79 people were seriously injured.According to Kenyan security forces, of the 815 students in the college, 500 were rescued, 147 were killed and the rest - 166 - have not been properly accounted for. Some are believed to have been taken hostage. Kenya government claim they killed four of the terrorists. Photos of the incidents have been taken but one of the photos shows dead students killed in their classroom...

Five gunmen gained entry into the university, which is close to an army barracks, after killing guards at the main gate. They massacred some students they found inside lecture halls who were working on their assignments while others were killed in their halls of residence

Kenyan President spoke to the nation in a TV broadcast and said the attackers had taken hostages;

“I am saddened to inform the nation that early today, terrorists attacked Garissa University College, killed and wounded several people and have taken others hostage. On behalf of my government, I extend condolences to the families of those who have perished in this attack. We continue to pray for the quick recovery of the injured, and the safe rescue of those held hostage.” he said.

Pictures of the man who allegedly led the attack has also been leaked.

Kenya's Inspector-General of PoliceJoseph Boinnet said the terrorists had taken positions in the students’ hostels.

“The attackers forced their way into the university by shooting at the guards who were manning the main gate. The attackers shot indiscriminately once inside the compound. Police officers who were at the time guarding the university hostels heard the gunshots and responded swiftly and engaged the gunmen in a fierce shootout. However, the attackers retreated and gained entry into the hostels. The officers summoned for reinforcement immediately and a joint force composed of police and other security agencies arrived and are currently engaged in an elaborate process of flushing out the gunmen from the hostels.”

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tomakint:
Lame! Lamer!! Lamest!!! This is as dry as the br.east of a 90-year old woman Jonathan remains a true democrat even in defeat he stood taller than Buhari!

If he like make im stand taller than Iroko tree, dude be going to jail soon

Jonathan: Helo Sir

Buhari: yea? Helo who is this?

Jonathan: haba..baba, u no get my number again?

Buhari: I'm sorry, I don't have your number..so who am I speaking with?

Jonathan: hmmm... Oga o, na so life be? OK i am Goodluck Jonathan

Buhari: hahaha.... how tinz
now? u dey watch channels TV?

Jonathan: I dey watch am jare. Me don know say I no fit win b4 now.

Buhari: yes brother... Change is inevitable.

Jonathan: such is life, I just call to
congratulate you ni sir.

Buhari: congratulate me
Hmmm...something is fishy

Jonathan: haba, nothing now, remember I congratulated Aregbesola, Ajumobi, Amosun, and other APC gov when they won.

Buhari: oooh.... I see, how is mama peace?

Jonathan: she dey ooo... She don dey pack load small small

Buhari: haha.. Why the rush, time still they now.

Jonathan: no time johr

Buhari: OK...but will u like a prison in
Abuja or Bayelsa? Choose one

Jonathan: Ha daddy! That's why I called you... Abeg . I no wan go prison

Buhari: guy forget that tin...ur prison sure! But no worry, no b only u go go... FFK go follow, Fayose go join, even Gani Adams, mama peace, Ngozi, Stella odua. ...so don't worry too much, the place will not be boring

Jonathan: abeg now....

Mtn: your call credit has been exhausted and your call terminated, you can borrow airtime from MTN. Dial *606# to check if you can use the service or load a recharge card. thank you.


(Read more @facebook.com/hopesignatures)

After the representatives of all the parties signed the result sheet (except for the PDP agent who refused too, but spoke to Jega then shook hands with him). Prof. Jega signed and stamped the result sheet. Then it was time for declaration.

"I Prof. Attahiru Mohammed Jega hereby certify that

1) I was the RO of the Pres. Election held on the 28March, 2015

2) The Election was contested

3)That the candidates received the ff votes: -
1) Senator Anifowoshe: 22,125
2) Alhaji Galadima: 40,311
3) Rafiu Salau: 30,673
4) Dr.Mani I.: 29,666
5) Ayeni Musa: 53,537
6) Gen. Muhammadu Buhari: 15,424,921
7) Chief Sam E.:36,300
Ambrose Owuru: 7,435
9) Oluremis Onaiya:13,076
10) Martins Onovo:24,455
11) Goodluck Ebele Jonathan:12,853,162
12) Allagoa Kelvin Chinedu: 24,475
13) Godson Mgbodile O.Okoye: 9,208
14) Dr.Chekwas Okorie: 18,220

4) That Gen. Mohammed Buhari, APC, having satisfied the requirement of the law and scored the highest number of votes is hereby returned the winner."

Prof. Jega then hands result sheets to representatives of political parties and the AIG of Nigerian police force receives result sheets.

(facebook.com/hopesignatures)

So PDP have started confessing positive and dey have remembered their bible.

Proverb 24 vs 21,22a.

"MY SON, FEAR THE LORD AND KING, AND MINGLE NOT WIT THEM THAT SAY "CHANGE", FOR THEIR CALAMITY COMES QUICK.

He also said in Malachi 3:6 For I am the Lord, I CHANGE NOT


But APC were having none of it as they struck back and struck hard

2 Corinthians 11:14
And no marvel; for Satan himself is TRANSFORMED into an angel of light.

Zephaniah 3:19
"Behold, at that time I will deal with all your oppressors. And I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will CHANGE their shame into praise and renown in all the earth."

1 Corinthians15:51-42
"Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be CHANGED in a moment, inthe twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be CHANGED."

Zephaniah 3:9
"For at that time I will CHANGE the speech of the peoplesto a pure speech, that all of them may call upon the name of the LORD and serve him with one accord."

Hebrews 7:12
"For when there is a CHANGE in the priesthood, there is necessarily a CHANGE in the law as well."

It was the match we all waited for. The El classico between APC united and PDP fc, with GMB and GEJ as captains of both side. The referree was a tough looking Jega. El Clasico almost never disappoints and this one should be no different. The match took place at the ICC stadium, Abuja and held the nation in suspence.

The match kicked off as soon as the referree blew the whistle and both sides attacked each other swiftly. A cross comes in from the left flank of the field and the PDP quickly put it in, even though it looked like an offside goal in Ekiti. It was a blow to APC, but they passed the ball quickly and soon they scored in Ogun and their fans went frenzy. APC had not even finished celebrating when a thunderous strike from Enugu was delivered, it held the whole crowd spellbound with oga Patrick Obahiagbon shouting when a rough tackle was made on an APC player.

"The Enugu result was sure but the actual score is a working definition of Fallaciloquence. The chief harbinger himself, The human living breathing moral cesspool"

Wetin that one mean? Mee no know. Abeg check your dictionary. The referree called for a free kick against PDP in kogi. It was quickly taken at first but the referree, (Jega) gave the linesman RO a yellow card for blowing the whistle before him. (Such a strict ref). The free kick was taken and a sensational goal was scored by APC. It brought the goal tally to 2~2. Both sides played well but the APC side were superb. In less than 10 minutes they scored a brace in Osun and Ondo. But the PDP side were not having any of it. They soon scored with a stunning header in FCT Abuja. APC responded swiftly in Oyo with a superb bicycle kick. Fatigue set in and just before half time, PDP scored in a nice fashion at Nassarawa.

The referree called for a half time break and Nigerians turned into mathematicians by fire by force. The match ended 5~4 in favour of APC, but as it stood, PDP was to win it by the number of balls in the net. Though all eyes were on PDP and APC, there were other smaller clubs with results that looked like Jamb scores. 189, 225, 307, etc. Though the referree was under pressure to skip them and ask them to buy the INEC result checker scratch card to check their results or check their result on badoo & 2go, Jega refused vehemently.

The second half which was to start by 8pm resumed much later, APC were already in the pitch while PDP was nowhere to be found as they slept off in the dressing room due to exhaustion. Jega had to use the cane for flogging cows to wake them up.

The second half got underway and in what we could term as shocking, the ever ready APC struck in wonderful counter attacks at Kano, Katsina and Kaduna. It was a beautiful hatrick. When the linesman making the deaf and dumb sign heard Kano's result, the guy made the sign of the cross. PDP could only struggle to score in Anambra, Abia, Akwa ibom, Imo and Plateau but the APC were not done yet as they scored a brace in Jigawa and Kwara states. It was a very sensational one and the captain of the APC side was sweating profusely from the centre of his head while rivers of sweat was found on the yansh region of the captain of PDP. The referree called for the end of the second half and said the second leg will be played the next day.

The match ended with APC leading by 2million extra balls in their net. The result made people to look for Fayose and FFK but they were nowhere to be found. The captain of PDP was so shocked he could not grace the media. #HopeSignatures promises to bring you live highlights of what is happening.

Final Scoreline
APC 10:9 PDP

(gotten from facebook.com/hopesignatures)