Originalsly:
So you know you can't get her back? The fact that she been begging you so long to drop the habit.... and quit maybe because you ' put the gun to her head' ... shows that she truly loved you. Tough talking you have not moved on..... so why are you so sure she has?...how are you so sure she is not waiting for the day when you get your act together and will come calling/crawling? Why shut the door on yourself? Bro... cut the social drinking and responsible drinking crap... the cause of your heartache in the first place. What is there for you to gain by hanging on to the rum wagon?....what is there to gain should you get off? Your heart is not right your life can never run smooth. Attend to the heart.

waywardpikin:


You never know until you try. Just say you did sim backup that's how you were able to retrieve your contacts, and that you just wanted to check up on her. Sound happy and light hearted. From your conversation with her you will know if she's single or not. It's possible she also thinks about you a lot. You might even call her and discover that you're over the hell thing, that maybe all you needed was closure.

Call her.

Lleigh:
If after 2 years, you think about her that way you should try and initiate contact.

When cupid releases it's arrow we never know where it will land.

Can you reduce your alcohol intake, note I didn't say stop. That decision is yours. However, the red flag I see right now is the church issue.

I have seen many ladies...yes ladies lose the love of their lives over 'he goes to the wrong church'
Who are we to judge a church...we ate not God.

Contact her, she might also be thinking of you. Don't leave it too late

Originalsly:
Bro.... her concern was you were on your way to being an alcoholic. Drinking from the age 12....it seems that you had already become an alcoholic. You could've told her you needed help to kick the habit...but how can your ego allow you to? Instead you sent er a strong message..... "I am not ready to stop drinking...deal with it..or feel free to move on." I am almost sure you are now drinking even more.... a ehmmm.... full blown alcoholic. Don't even think about rekindling the relationship if you are still drinking period. Work on yourself first....hard and long.

waywardpikin:
Look here op, pay no attention to all these small small boys beating their chests saying you did right. You didn't do right and a part of you knows it too.

There is nothing wrong if your babe complains that you drink too much, it only shows that she cares about you and is only looking out for your best interests. I can't blame you for liking alcohol so much, I used to drink like a fish in my younger days but at some point I had to quit by myself because it was having a negative effect on my health and truly, there is nothing special about alcohol. It's just youthful exuberance that's doing you, that's all.

Where you erred is constantly threatening her to end the relationship if she's fed up. In fact, you left her no choice. You don't sh.it gold, why threaten her to quit if she's tired? Who the hell do you think you are?

Na small Pikin bin dey worry you bro, I understand. That need to be macho even when it's unnecessary. Now, swallow your pride, pick up your phone and call her. You never know what could happen bro...

Not to beg o, just talk to her.

Section8:
You fvcked up you two should av talked 1st and attempt at making compromises. Maybe reduce ur drinking and go to church and she gets off ur back

eemalex:
You did the right thing. People may not understand but what makes both of you happy individually matters a lot.
Given her that choice is the best you can do for her, she might hurt now but eventually she would see the good in what you did

Fidelismaria:


u did d rite tin man

she has 4goten d rule DAT says Neva ever try to change a man

if any lady no fit tolerate my habits na to show her d door remain

ishiamu:
hmmm

INTROVERT:
U have anger ishhh

Onegai:
The writer of the article organised a program for people with Natural Hair and Organic lifestyles (Food, Drinks etc). Because of this issue which just happened to her, she has invited a speaker from an NGO to train parents on how to talk to their kids about sex education and molestation. I've attended her programs and I may decide to attend this one, it's tomorrow on the island, 25th June. Try and come.

I have also mentioned Nomthi Odukoya's book for kids "No Don't Touch Me There", it is easily digested by even a 3 year old.

I wasn't planning on going but I've seen this her situation before happen (perverts publicly exposing themselves and no-one doing anything). I have even seen the same reaction from her neighbour (who has kids!) From other men: smiles and telling me "you're overreacting/he's a madman/ignore" then something will go wrong and we all start wailing and calling Jesus.

We need to start making people take responsibility for their behaviour. Stop allowing people whip out their privates in public in the name of urinating (why must you stop immediately and pee right there? Why not find a private spot? Do Hausa mallams who squat to pee privately have 2 heads that they have the brains to be modest and some people will do it and even checking out who is walking past, schoolchildren or not??). Please start educating people because if not you will continue to hear "45 year old men attack 7 year old girl or boy".

Lotil:
I wish I had the right words for you. Alas, I don't as I have bouts of depression myself. Me, I'm 32, jobless and hopeless, beautiful for nothing. I'm described as intelligent, l know I am..I know we all know our good qualities but that is nonsense when you graduate with a 2.2. There's no day l don't regret my result. The missed opportunities, shame and so on.. 99.9% of Graduate Trainee jobs are reserved for the 2.1s and 1st Class. Yearly, I watch as banks and other multinationals conduct their search for the "Best" of us. Well..if waec result counts for anything, l had distinctions in Economics, Commerce, Biology and Literature in English and 4 Cs. Yet, l went to college to waste my life!

It wasn’t even that l was partying and bed hopping with aristos. Maybe if l did that-just maybe.

You see, I lived a simple life in school. When I think about it, l wonder what the eff I was doing with my time that l failed to save the day. Financial security and independence is the most important to me, yet l did nothing to prepare for that aspect of my future.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not one to live in the past or wallow in self-pity. Just that my sibling who completed Nysc June this year is a constant reminder that I've not moved forward. She's a 2.1 graduate and still has many years ahead of her. I'm 7 years older than she. Her elder sister, my junior, has been married two years now. So I'm like, "what a wasted life".

Sometimes I look at my family and feel sorry for them. I do because it’s just a matter of time before I take my life. The only reason I haven't done it is because of my mum. Every time I see myself at the other side, a mental image of her forms before me. Then I know I can't do it. It'd ruin her. It'd finish her. I can't do that to her.
It's just for my mum. Everything is for my mum. And even though it's for her that I wouldn't take my life, it's still because of her l will eventually do it.

Because I'm her first child and I ought to have been more responsible. To be working and married. I'm 32. See, I'm not even dating. I'm guilty of a lot of things...not making money, can't take care of my family. I'm guilty of eating my mum's food and 'eating from the same plate' with my sisters. At my age? I'm 13 years older than my kid sister who is in 400 level now.
if I’m gone I wouldn’t be around to remind my mum that I failed her or that I’m a disappointment.
I'm not completely hopeless though. I still make effort. I applied to Firs and NRC and I'm not stopping there yet. I read. I wrote a test last week. But none of these can stop the throbbing pain and the only thing that can free me is death.

This isn't a cry for help. I have learnt that nobody helps you but you. And God forbids that I blame the economy. I wouldn't allow myself such weakness. I know I could have done better in school and that Pry and Secondary Education are to equip you with writing and reading skills, only that. B.Sc is the real foundation. Afterall it’s where you get the results employers want. I also know Masters/Professional Certifications are a good support. But you don't get those papers F.O.C.

I'm sorry I'm not one to light a candle for you @poster but you should know l feel somewhat better sharing my own on here.

yusufadebayo02:
Dear Oluwaseun Osewa,
I don come to yarn u my depress story o. Cos as i dey is like
say i no dey exist ni.
I graduated at 27years (2010) from Kwara State Polytechnics with an
HND in Business Administration, Lower Credit. I observed my youth
service corp at Ministry Of Defence Abuja(2011).
Social anxiety hit hard
in the middle of college and I became a hermit, doing well
academically but suffering in terms of networking.
I've been struggling and struggling to find meaningful work ever since
graduating and I'm quickly slipping more into my self-destruction and
depression-related behavior. I'll spend half a week in bed and be
happy for it. I'll drink myself into comfort constantly. I have 4
years of off/on hard substance abuse, depression, self-harm and
suicide ideation. As far back as elementary school I used to write
suicide notes for "recreation", I glorified misery, etc.
While all that stuff mellowed out in school (except for anxiety, which
too mellowed out around my last year), after failed attempts at work
I'm feeling more and more like a total failure when I see how many of
my peers are financially independent and doing well for themselves. I
suggest continuing into further study which am now in PGD session at Lautech with installment option. The school was shutdown due to economic recession and management unable to pay their staffs salaries.
This is what i expect with high unemployment stuff, just to stay out of
the bad market and add to my qualifications, hoping to find work later
when conditions have improved. I have #5,000 in my saving account and
am out of my apartment in 3 weeks.
In the past I never hated life enough to end it, and I couldn't
because I knew my mildly disabled sibling would need me when our
parents pass. Also in my culture I think the grief would bring
irreparable harm to my parents. But recently... those facts are
seeming like smaller and smaller deterrents. I don't know. I sat in
training for a shitty call center job today and zoned out thinking
about where I'd do it, river or rope, what and to whom I'd leave as
notes, etc.
None of my friends know. I'm handsome, fun to be around, completely
sane-looking and sane-behaving (besides my scarred parts). I'm dating
a beautiful intelligent woman and have no problem meeting more, etc,
but no one knows how broke I am or how close I am to breaking. If I
did it I can't think of anyone who'd not be surprised.
I used to have such grand dreams for what I'd want my life to be like;
I used to be a skilled Embroidery Designer, my old Designer friends
are now abroad in famous stylist shop, etc... meanwhile, I wake today
and received calls of two of a beer parlour that pays token and is
itself a potent source of shame for me. How did I Bleep up this bad.
Baba Seun, i will like you to whistle this my story to does it consign to
come for my rescue.
Yusuf Adebayo writes.
07038898819.

PaperLace:


The emboldened is fallacy. It's a luxury item to some people, just as some love wrist watches, shoes, belts...etc.

That said, I know someone gaining good from Buharis' government_ he's into FX. The guy celebrated his child's dedication recently, one would think it was a wedding ceremony.

FunkyMetahuman:
still doesn't make it an investment .. just an asset.

diva90:
I want to believe this is for humour
Can 400k really buy someone a plot of land? If so, I am interested
As for the other options I would pick an iPhone 7 instead? Why? Because it's an investment. When you are done using the phone, u can still sell it and get back atleast half of what you bought the phone for. I bought my iPhone 6 for $500, I can still sell the phone today and get back atleast $300 - $350. But if I go Dubai for a weekend or stay in oriental hotel for 3 nights with that money, the money is gone forever!
It's all about being wise!

zealed64:
Pls has anyone with Bsc/Hnd/Masters applied for this...i went to their office at Owerri, i was told the vacancy is strictly for OND holders, they refused any qualification similar or higher than OND to apply.

rose54321:
I disagree sha o.
Yes, we are attracted to certain qualities that why we even agree to date in the first place. But that in itself doesn't invalid love, it just means that there are certain traits we fancy.

What I don't believe in is love at first sight; that to me is infatuation but love built over time from spending quality time and getting to each other, that truly exists.

I believe that you have this opinion because you haven't experienced it. It's just like child birth if you have never had a child you can not claim to know the amount of pain women experience in the process.
So it's only expected that if you have never experienced true love you would conclude it doesn't exist or it's a "facade" as you call it.

18wheeler:
I have tried to send the samples to no avail. It's like a restriction has been placed on mail going out of the organisation. Even mail I sent to a consultant working with us were returned undelivered. Please go to Google and search SHL. You will be guided to where you can take a mock test. It's SHL that stanbic use to test applicants.

18wheeler:
For those that asked for the sample questions, I tried sending but the file is heavy and since its going to external mail addresses, the mail checking mechanism kept returning it undelivered. I will try and see if I can copy and paste in different format and in bits and forward tomorrow. I'll also try saving in a zip file. Hope it works.

Mannylex:


From what an HR person said, if you apply for Graduate Trainee and your role is streamlined to one of the Personal and Business Banking(PBB) role. Below could be one of the reason
You attended a private school not listed among those for the Graduate trainee path (only 3 private schools in Nigeria qualify for this.... From what he said)

You attended a state school

You are above 26 years.

skarlett:


Point of correction, I never said marriage is not for everyone. Yes, I know English is not your native language but try to hide your ignorance next time



Thrash

skarlett:



We wish to but if a suitable husband is not forthcoming, we won't break our neck. I'm going to ignore the insult but kindly respect yourself.

Thank you

skarlett:



don't be so sure of that dear, marriage is not a do or die affair

jashar:

hi ya. I had a busy day. I'm blessed. Thanks for asking.
You?

Tohsine:

Hello bro, please have you gotten your offer letter? If yes, like how many days from when you got proposed renumeration? I have gotten proposed renumeration mail since last Wednesday, but no offer yet.. . >:

hardbody:
Suicide never solved any problems. You realise at the point of no return what a sore loser you are. You really struggle to reverse the steps but alas it's what it is....point of no return. May we never get there. There is always a silver lining and a light at the end of the tunnel.