₦airaland Forum

@Allmanjoy

You too talk! E be like say e don tey wey you chop beta okele last. Too much raw meat, take away and pizza don inflict you with constipation. A good movement in the other direction would really go a long way to offering some equilibrum.

britgirlee:
cyclone 5
your digging an empty pit

I think I already have my answer. Trust me, that which links Bluewater with Lakeside will not reveal an oasis.

naijaking1:
@Almondjoy

If you're not psychotic already, I'll bate this topic surely pushes you in that direction. Bringing your past ugly experiences in this type of debate makes it hard, painful and disorienting for you.

My advice, try to forget your past sad experiences for 1 minute if you can.

How you just go off topic, and continue going, going, going, going in the wrong direction.

Even the poster knows that the title of this thread lends itself to misunderstanding, but you, no. You just keep going, and going!

My brother, come see me see trouble O! We've been here trying to examine the issues yet noise keeps bursting in from the streets.

I wonder why it is that all of a sudden, it ok for one person to turn this into an assault on life in the village. We have even seen some quite unprecendented abuse of village gals. To call them savages and uncouth is really just a case of a superiority complex. I guess being strong and independent preclude the need for solidarity and due consideration.

Maybe there are issues with some Nigerian men. But why dont we examine the culture a little bit more closely. IT will reveal that the issues have a root and a cause. And you will will also find there are issues with relationships and women too. It is the nature the dance for all to bring their own rhythm.

No matter what some people think, the guys here are still trying to make reasoned points. Even if they are confrontational and controversial. Lets focus on the discussion and keep from trying to scratch eyes out.

It would appear a combination of experience and observation has left you slightly conflicted about this. So get off the fence and give us a sense of how you see yourself responding in this situation. You can whisper it in my ear if that'll help.

I feel for you. I hope you do get your break.

It goes to show that individual circumstance dont always follow general rules.

spoilt:
My husband would probably shrivel up and die if i as much as asked him to stay home while i go out to shoot our dinner every day. he's an alpha male and will not have it. I on the other hand am overworked , over strained and will be overjoyed to stay home for one year and mind the kiddo.

Hope yours sistas dont think you're betraying the sisterhood

So now its ok to whale on hood rats?

britgirlee:
cyclone 5
morally it is wrong

howeveri can't say yesor no or other

Seems like you have a story to tell

Please do tell

britgirlee:
cyclone, love your reponses very thought prcessed and opening

@Britgirlee - Thanks.

So whould you? And if not, why?

@ Londoner - I hear you. Tradition certainly needs to evolve and adapt thats why its traditional. However, people sometimes need coaxing to lead them from a safe place in the past to a challenging void in the future. Its just natural. That process is necessary but shouldnt always be sudden and traumatic. But the shift must happen nonetheless.

Sometimes modern life leaves us feeling there are things we have to recognise though not always accept.

@Almondjoy - There is a reason wise people nod in silence when a crazy person stands up and spouts wildly.

The great thing about these debates is that people can expose themselves.

As a general rule I would advocate tolerance in relationships. However, each relationship and the people in it are unique.

@Almondjoy - There is a reason why there is a distinction between wisdom and intelligence. You should investigate it.

In reality you cannot legistlate for how each person is brought up and socialised. I agree that genders are equal. After all, what different weighting can be given to male and female (other than that female has more letters)? But people differ. And in differing they have strengths and weaknesses. On of the joys in a good relationship is how the people compliment themselves. The reason why confusionreigns is when people dont know their limitations (which we all have) and havent learnt how to listen to each other.

Cultures evolve but even the most traditional cultures served their societies and times very well. There is a lot to learn about who we are from what we were.

It is possible that people who are atached can be drawn to others. They may be duplicitous, in struggling relationships, in an open relationship, separated (legally or by distance). These things can happen.

I personally, it is heinous to break up another person's relationship. But how can you help it if you meet someone who is in a relationship that is dying (or so she says) and who you are attracted to? She might need support or comforting, and you are there. You should certainly help her examine ways of saving her relationship. What if she doesnt feel that is much of an option? You could just ignore her because you feel your feelings would just pull you together. But what kind of friend would you be?

Fe fe ne eye fe.

almondjoy:
All I can say is thank God for the kinds of people He has graciously brought my way. Obey? Even if the man na goat--make you obey am? Like all men qualified to be called men?

I am not a big fan of the obey your man dictat but it is in the bible. My question here is if you are a good and faithful Christian but believe in equal rights, where does this leave you? We are told on the one hand you have to accept everything preached blindly yet some things go against natural justice.

My other issue is; if as a woman you are older than your partner by a few years, would you expect him to defer to you on some issues where you have greater experience and knowledge? Given that in most (not all) relationships, the man tends to be older (sometimes by a significant age) does it stand to reason that some allowance should be made for this?

Its worth considering the role that society plays in how men and women interact and treat each other. There are tons of Naija women who wont countenance a man looking like he's about to wash and iron their undies. They just dont see that type of man as having the dynamism to make a fitting boyfriend, nevermind husband. And there are places where in the business world the husband who appears to defer to his wife aint getting far in his chosen vocation.

When you consider these things its difficult for a person to switch off readily, as you traverse the diferent worlds you inhabit. Some wives might get terribly suspicious if the guy starts sweeping and washing dishes. And like you have pointed out guys might get a little stressed if the woman decides she wants to take him out, watch the game and have a beer with the guys.

But choices do come into play here. The notion of a housewife was relevant in the days when infant mortality was so high families had to have a lot of children. Now its a choice whether you have more chioldren than you can comfortably cater for. Any woman who thinks that she can readily have more than 3 children, needs to know the means are there or she will be spending plenty of time at home.

The more each partner in a relationship develops themself and their interests the more of a say they will have in defining each other's roles.

britgirlee:
cyclone5
easy on the pidgeon english don't quite understand it sorry
ps face book you don't need to post a picture to be on there
Also its your privilage to hide your pic your reasons well who knows as you are an active poster and one of the most out spoken you should put yr face where your mouth is

@britgirlee - I hear you but I just never quite saw NL as a place to be anything other than a contributer of ideas. That's unlikely to change. But its always a pleasure to exchange ideas.

Its possible that there maybe an issue of choice of words. The Stock Market in Nigeria is still burgeoning so I am not sure its saturated. But I think that there are a number of over inflated stocks. There have been cases of listed companies filing false accounts.

Investing in stock in Nigeria can be very profitable if you have a good broker and a watchful eye.

You and this face thing of yours. I read through your topic bemused by the thought that you seemed to discount people's reasons for not posting a pic. I am happy to reveal myself to people I know but wont be changing my profile on NL.

If you wan see face na im be say you go go Facebook

Always happy to melt minds with ya

kojeiwa:
I see the Igbo's don't want to admit the facts that the Yorubas are more Educated. Its okay,

you guys are good in lots of other things as well. Long its all for a better NIGERIA. You can be

Educated and not be successful. But as the saying goes, "Education is the key to success"

Nigerians are the most educated in Africa, lets stick to that fact, maybe behind South Africa.

@FSU
Its not by the percentage admitted, but by the percentage graduated. The Rate of admission is not

directly proportional to the rate graduation.

See as you trip yourself up? You asked what you claim is an innocent question yet here you are making categorical statements. Shame on you! Instigator!

I am not sure what the issue is about this as a topic. This is a forum and individuals may bring issues which may be serious, ridiculous or light hearted. Whats the harm in that? There are women who truly have bellies that have guys scratching their heads. I have been caught short congratulating women on their pregnancies or child birth only to be withered by a correction that neither had happened. And its true their men with bellies that can only be described as undulating and chest like breasts.

The poster wanted to discuss the case of women. So joke with him, correct him, educate him, ignore him but why the insults and abuse.

If you want to discuss male beer bellies then hit us up with your own topic.

I have as little desire to be a house husband as I have to be married to a housewife. I wouldnt even consider dating a woman with no ambition or career; nevermind marry. A man or woman needs to be rounded and fulfilled either before or during marriage. OR else both parties will end up growing distant and apart.

My wife should have her own life, and career. Whatever it is she chooses to do.

It is possible during the marriage there are reasons why either party should choose to leave formal paid employment. If that means as a husband, I am at home then I will do whaty I can to maintain the home. Who needs a wife coming home to ride you?!

I have to say that this claim is just wrong. Plain and simple. There might be personal experiences where it may have been the case but its no universal principle.

If you look around most, if not all, the most acclaimed Nigerian woman are all married. Irrespective of looks, character or status. So are their husbands, exceptional and special men?

In all truth Nigerian men love a challenge. Be it a good looking, intelligent or successful woman. They wont shy away from that.

In all truth, not everyone is fit for marriage. Some men and women may be successful but lets be honest they are badly behaved and very unpleasant to be around. Some things that drive people to be independent and strong may also rob them of social graces and courtesy.

Yep, the power to kneel for corner, put your hands up and close your eyes. Now!

kateflow:
douzy how is trendy

Na wa O! Na anoda person yansh you bury nose?

Question must get answer now. So take your notes and go study.

Na wa for you? You still dey plan? After all these years? You sure say distraction never divert your attention away from that one?

Abeg go help your sista. No wait make ground open and swallow am up!

[quote author=ella.b link=topic=44365.msg1619108#msg1619108 date=1193379904]cyc u don kolo. [/quote]I just dey try mediate for my guy. If im get shares make im holding no pafuka before e get chance to see returns.

BTW - No be you be chief wedding consultant for NL? Shouldnt you be giving her some advice/support?

@Kachi - abi your marriage proposal no get in before closing date? Maybe dem fit allow you special extension. lol

Just offering a word to someone in dire need of counsel.

@Kate

Some people may be ready to marry at 21. I am not even sure you're ready to even have a long term relationship yet. What you need to ask yourself is why do you need to get married. Is it for love or because you have no other choice. Will being married help you fulfill your ambitions? Will taking your time to achieve some professional goals make you a more rounded person?

Whatever you choose, choose wisely.

mdsocks:
this not even 1920's style but but 16thcentury mode.

Follow what  ima1 said, its a better way
try knowing her first not all those nonsense,
Did you think you were acting a film ?

This na advice?   You think say na arrangee marriage dem dey do? The guy said he saw her at the cinema. Wetin he for take get to know am first? Google?

My only surprise is that the girl was patient enough to wait for the guy to finish im lecture. I suppose she was dying to cut him with that put down so it was worth it.

My guy (Poster), that kind P Diddy rap was crass when it was fresh so feel free to retire it O.

bballchick:
@ Cyclone5
hey d game went well, lesta beat us 59 69 was a good game but we gotta improve, cause 2 off our best players were out fouled out, (they had 5 fouls) nd were sent out, nyways just thought to let u lknow, x

Good to hear that you enjoyed the game. Seems it was a good contest. Too bad about the top players fouling out. That might just be ring rust. A few more games under their belts and they should be able to avoid giving away cheap fouls or the rest of the team will be able to protect them better.

Am sure the next game will have you putting in an even stronger showing. Am rooting for ya