₦airaland Forum

Kevin_II: Ijebabe, I have a masters degree, [color=#419419]I live in [size=48pt]an furnished[/size] apartment[/color] in an upscale neighborhood in obodo oyinbo. I drive a 2011 model car. Now do you love me or not?

bros, you are a M.Sc. holder nah.

Curious_city: Reading thru all these I have only one thing to say:

Where is my wife let me practice all I've learnt here? I remember my elder bros going thru all these with his wife.
[color=#419419]I can't wait to experience these too. Long story short: I want to be a FATHER!!![/color]

shey because dem dey praise analytical, you wan do your own if you go follow chop praise. No go learn how to be patient, tolerant, . . . You go just use vex kick your wife belle like roberto carlos wey wan play freekick. You never see anything yet. Oboy, action speaks louder than words. . . Cyril83, you nor go kill me with laff

ochukoccna: I started seeing her adverts 3 days back. Its just a confirmation Nigeria has long gone to the dogs. So why blame those who exit MMIA &tear up their green passport when they arrive their destination? 9ja is a nation built for drama& soap operas where 2+2=¼ or 5,choose 1. And you need no DSTV to get prime time viewing.

they will rather tell you that [(2+2 = 11) all in base 3) or [(2+2 = 10) all in base 4]

Analytical: Let me start to recall those days. . .

Wify got pregnant immediately after we got married (probably that very day, but definitely not more than 3 days after- that’s a story for another day!). Novice and inexperienced us; we didn’t even know. Two weeks after, she fell sick. We didn’t even suspect pregnancy, though all the signs were there- nausea, vomiting and all. She had fever and was dehydrated. We got to the clinic and was confirmed pregnant after test. Then started the journey that won me accolades and everlasting admiration of my wife.

Everything became strange. My new wife practically became different. The ever bubbling, hardworking gal I knew became so dull, moody, fuzzy and lazy! I knew this wasn’t my girl. The wonders of hormones! Attempts at preparing food in the kitchen became disastrous. She just couldn’t stand the smell of anything again. Worse still, they trigger off the vomiting.

Who would have thought going out together will be such a trying period? Well, so it became. The smell of car fragrance and fume became allergic. So the first thing she does as soon as she enters the car is to throw up inside the car. She became sad that she was giving me stress. I had to calm her down, that I am in love with her, vomits or not. So, cleaning up the car wasn’t a problem to me. In fact, I counted it all joy that I will soon become a father! I had to provide a special bowl in the car permanently to take care of that.

Because of this, I had to practically go with her whenever she wanted to go out. Thankfully, she was yet to start working then. We visited the clinic for antenatal together. We went to the market together. Do I talk of when the nausea came right there in the market? She tried to suppress it and with my hands massaging her back, urged her to do it right there, with all eyes gazed on this young couple, hubby rubbing wify’s back while she vomits! [color=#419419]That was my moment to shine- my own version of Public Display of Affection.[/color]

Every morning I had to get up early to prepare food for her before I set for work, rush home during lunch time to check on her and clean-up. I took over the kitchen and became the official cook. And they are special foods- sometimes without salt! No onions, no frying at all. Most times no pepper, no stew, just okro! Very odd demands became the order of the day. After testing my skills in the kitchen, several times the food had to be rejected for upsetting her homones! Chicken and meat became prohibited for her. How I enjoyed those days. I ended up eating as much chicken as I could

The first trimester had just ended- two more to go. And this is just the first pregnancy. . .

how i wish I will be like you. With my present type of person, she dare not try the bolded else, that green coloured aspect would be some round of deputy insanity. Well, I'm still 21. Maybe I should learn how to be patient and enduring.

This is the 2nd time I'ld hear of any toke makinwa. The 1st also being on this forum

StateOfMind: You really think the guys screaming their heads off here would stop being the mugus that they are? What I keep asking everytime issues like this come up is "do these girls force you to spend on them"? Instead of them to move-on on their 1st encounter with a 'materialistic' chic, their 3rd leg and ego won't let the back off. They 'll want to prove they are capable and can bed any 'high-class' chic. A good number of the don't even have anything to offer apart from their 'change'. . .. and when they are drained of this little 'change', they come on nl to rant and generalize, then they go back to repeat the same mistake.

The day guys stop spending unnecessarily on these so called demanding girls for few moments of mutual pleasure, the better for both sexes.

that is, the thing tire me. Some people talk say if dog bite you 1st time, the dog dey mad. The dog bite you 2nd time, the dog dey craze. If the dog bite you the 3rd time, you dey craze. Me no get luxury of a 3rd timer. Once beaten, twice shy. I have noticed that guys just wanna prove they are man enough and are 'able and capable'. You give me a silly list today and i sack you outrightly. I spend on you on 3 occasions - you need(not want) it, i want it for you and i have much to spare. I thought it's easy to identify gold diggers nah. How far nairalanders?

chaircover: Haaaaaa!!!Its not your fault oooooo!!!

Its the fault of the one or two women that you have met that have dared asked you to pay for their meatpies at Mr Biggs

. . . .Meanwhile, these same termites as you call them come visit you, sweep your dirty floor, pick up your smelly boxers off your smelly floor, go to market on okada in the hot blazing sun to buy foodstuffs to make you the first decent meal that you would have had that week, come back cook, do a bit of washing; scrubbing with shoe brush those dirty white collars & cuffs that have turned brown

And If they make the mistake of visiting on Environmental day, will be there in "knicker" with the other neighbours helping you to clear your dirty smelly gutter, go back in and dust on top of your TV & bookshelf that has dust 6 inches high and then at night you maul her, testing all the styles you learnt off the porrn channel . . . . should I go on . . . . chei women don suffer . . . It is well oooooooo

Thank God for my militant mother and the only place I was allowed to go was to blend pepper on the same street. Then i thought that her own was too much but now I thoroughly appreciate the "imprisonment"

And BTW who are these 2 that liked Moremi's post iru kan kan oun

Women she una don hear . . .stop asking these cheapskates for things. Earn your own money and hold your heads high

that is if they will ever help you. The 1st girl I dated will see your house untidy and she won't mind staying in that 'sty' even for another 24hrs. Most annoying is that you will leave her alone in the house only for you to be back and meet the house in a 'worser' state

chemberlin: For me I have learnt a lesson cos I have so many girls that has taught me with their own experience...and this made me to lay a principle never to show any girl how much I love her....and it been working perfectly for me cos sometyms when she makes rules I disobey them and behave as if she is nt the only one in my life...but seriously I won't kill myself if we go our seperate wauys cos she is nt the only chick in town...dude's be carefull.

word.

bolargeez: Football is a crowd sport, and I believe crowd is senseless. Why would I waste my two hours watching a game that would soon fizzle out of my memory like a scoop of ice cream. The time is better spent doing something more intellectually rewarding. Aside the crowd mentality syndrome invoke by the game, the game has programmed the people's mind to accept it as a modern day gladiators spectacle.

The shout and war of colours are so maddening. Up Blues, Red for life, I wonder what happens to Green for life. We are so engrossed with foreign own sports we neglect our own local league. Many homes are in jeorpardy simply because the bread winner has turned viewing center to his second home. A guy in my area has turned to complete Chelsea Brand Ambassador. Whereever, he his ready to flunt his blue car, sneekers, jersey, bandana, muffler and his blue girlfriend.

I beg dont discuss with me the game of yesterday, I have a more potent dough of today to make.
FOOTBALL HATERS INC.

I hope I am not alone, blunt and candid opinions are welcomed.

i can swear you are a programmer

grade 1 madness

show her this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6qUstn8YQ0

and this picture

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6qUstn8YQ0

messi and xavi wept

Booty4me: Hmmm blues can still go trophless o. Just my 2cent. YNWA

same way man u might also go trophyless

imagine this

brainpulse: This is too bad, and disgusting my heart weep and cry for my nation. Are will comfortable with the level. THIS PEOPLE ARE HIRED AND ARE NOVICE.

they are not novices. Will you be suprised if you discover that they were among the occupy 9ja protesters? They are generally greedy.

God punish van der sar. Is it di matteo's fault that barcelona made him hang his boot? Thank God chelsea put the cripple dutch cech-wannabe. Imagine him saying chelsea is a disgrace to football because they went defensive in the first leg at stamford bridge. Do I need to remind him how they played 9 1/3 - 1/3 - 1/3(ronaldo as the 1/3 thrice) at old trafford during the 2008 semi final return leg? Or maybe I should remind him that after scholes scored(about 20 mins into the game), they parked their bus(then, barcelona were average, under frank rijkard) and how messi, etoo and henry almost tore his body, soul, spirit, psychology and gloves with shots. How they survive that long 90mins and how they hoped to employ that same tactic a year later in rome finals and last year own at wembley(we all know what happened after etoo and pedro cleared his doubt) The alexic white ape now had the guts to brag instead of him training basket de gea ahead of manchester derby. . . 'for the sake of football, barcelona should win' indeed. Goal.com also predicted 3 - 1 in favour of barcelosers. Hahahahaha.

dabrake: Barcelona, stick to your copa de rey. The gods have spoken. Chelsea will celebrate your death @ camp mushin nou.

less than 4secs after the above was posted, torres rounded basket valdes. Barceloser fans, do I need to tell you all what happened after that?

dabrake: The gods have granted my request. Chelsea will be in munich next month. So says the gods.

the gods > the uefa

dabrake: So tello nor dey fear black man. Yeeees. Torres, show them that you deserve a place in spanish 1st XI come euro '12

torres > messi + sachet? + villa

dabrake: *pouring libations*
Spirit of soccer, protect chelsea. When barca launches any attack on them, let it be not be smooth. If it is smooth, let them not near chelsea's 18, if they near their 18, let the defenders be alert. If the defenders are not alert, let them not shoot. If they shoot, let them not score. . . . 'cause if they score, evil will triumph over good.

the gods did not disappoint me. They told rdm to brimg on torres

olumidazz: U guys don't even know what football is all about, na ball chelsea play so, is that how chelsea play wigan, norwich, bolton or any of those yeye premiership teams. Drogba dey defend cos penalty u say chelsea na the team to beat. I sorry 4 u madrid will tear u guys apart. Go ahead and play your anti-football tactics in the final its good 4 the development of the game. BARCA ARGUABLY STILL THE BEST TEAM OF THIS PRESENT GENERATION.

leave it. Chelsea fans like it like that. As far as your only hope is the copa de rey, even me sef like am. Is any chelsea fan crying? Come on, take a look at at all your players face when torres scored. I wish you also saw pep's face. Him face red like firewood wey them take cook yoruba party rice. Mtchew. Barceloser lost at "you (de)camp"

~Bluetooth:
How to beat barca has just been released by Di Matteo.Grab your copy now !

1st edition by fergie. Needed review cos it always backfire
2nd edition by wenger. Needed review cos you need physical men to do that.
3rd edition(how to beat barca at their home) by mourinho. Tested and trusted.
4th edition(how to beat barca at camp mushin nou when the officiating is against you, you are down with 2 goals deficit and a red card) by di matteo. 3rd edition upgrade.

My colleague no wan pick call. My N500 etisalat card must finish on top him head tonight. I don chop him salary. Hahahahaha

kayode : you don't know messi. He will couple the anger of madrid's defeat to his brilliance. Another 5 goals for messi tonight. If messi do not score I will give you half of my salary.

Dabrake : keep ranting. God punish your team should torres play. You will know why he is el nino. He will regain his respect should he play.

Kayode : *everybody in my unit wanted to flog me* which mumu torres? That one wey miss empty net against man u. If torres score, take half of my salary(plus the other half). *colleagues signs the agreement*.

Now, my guy no wan pick call. I no go collect him salary. I just wan look into him eye tomorrow.

jerk: remires is the winner nt torres,even wtout torres goal chelsea will still qualify.

won't you give torres credit? He did what mata, kalou and the likes couldn't do. Have you ever seen messi cry on the pitch before? Have you ever seen di matteo sprint/roll on the floor before? He made them happen. Even most of the players who hate him couldn't help but fly towards him. Be sure that drogba will nullify that charm tonight. Didn't you see the smile on the drog's face? And to think torres didn't celebrate the goal that much, . . . I hope you understood barca players frustration. They needed two goals in a space of 1 minute(even gombe united would not let that happen). I love torres jooh. I wish arsené will sign him.

jerk: remires is the winner nt torres,even wtout torres goal chelsea will still qualify.

won't you give torres credit? He did what mata, kalou and the likes couldn't do. Have you ever seen messi cry on the pitch before? Have you ever seen di matteo sprint/roll on the floor before? He made them happen. Even most of the players who hate him couldn't help but fly towards him. Be sure that drogba will nullify that charm tonight. Didn't you see the smile on the drog's face? And to think torres didn't celebrate the goal that much, . . . I love torres jooh. I wish arsené will sign him.

3years ago, iniesta broke chelsea's heart @ the last minute at stamford bridge. Today, fernando torres broke barceloser's heart in the dying minute at camp mushin nou. 1 - 1

ekeroyal: What a way to pay those bunch of cheats. To hell with Barca, for once let them feel the pain of loosing well.

I knew it, the law of karma. Who believed Torres would score in a game of this calibre.

bro, but i said it since last week that torres and drogba should pair. Torres dribbles are killers and blind, he is fast and good. Thank God he played and he didn't let me(his biggest fan) down. He remains my best striker *off to goal.com to view the ratings*

It seems these nepa guys are chelsea fans. This is the first time we are having nepa light since i came here over 2 months ago. Maybe we will pray for them to win champions league and fa cup so that i will never lack light.

(1) chelsea had 2 shots on target. They scored both.
(2) sad reflection of epl. How come man.u is england god of soccer?
(3) torres didn't disappoint me. I don chop my colleague salary. Told him torres will score if he play.
(4) fabregas, patience is a virtue
(5) the gods answered all my prayers. Despite being a gunner, i supported chelsea from the 1st leg.
(6) will be back with more

But I said it. I said torres would score.

Barcelona, stick to your copa de rey. The gods have spoken. Chelsea will celebrate your death @ camp mushin nou.

The gods have granted my request. Chelsea will be in munich next month. So says the gods.