₦airaland Forum

Your childish behaviour shows how much you have been influenced by listening to all the nonsense from those immature relationship experts on Nairaland forum. Welcome to the Real world.
Which man asks of his wife how much she will be contributing to the family when they marry.

Thank God for your correct parents and mother-in-law. There is hope for you. You better wake up.

Anoymus:
I have a girlfriend I am meaning to propose to during the festive period, she's everything I want in a woman except few exception which might be a hindrance to the proposal.
Gist is, my babe is a graduate but lack of work made her to learn fashion designing, she's done with the training and she's very good with what she does.

After marriage, I have told her that I'll assist in her business, I'm planning to get a bigger shop space for her and equip it with modern day machines, tools and tailoring materials goods to help make her work lucrative. I'm budgeting about 1.2-1.5m for this.

The issue now is that, 3 days ago, I asked her what her role would be if eventually after marriage she gets the shop, equipments and all, where she would come in in terms of responsibilities in the house. Her reply was she doesn't want to assume any responsibility and that it's my duty to cater for the family and she can only help & I shouldn't make anything compulsory for her. So many thoughts came through my mind. One of it was that, where the proceeds of her investment would be going to if I should shoulder all the responsibilities in the house knowing fully well that she makes money.

I rang my mum and told her of her response, I was shocked that she backed her saying that I shouldn't have asked her to foot anything in the house that it was my sole responsibility as a man to cater for my family my wife inclusive. My dad too, same thing. Even told my gf mum about it too , she giggled and said I shouldn't have asked her n that it's my duty to provide for my family. They all sounded foreign to me. Or am I the one not understanding?

My question now is, why invest that kind of money in her when I'm not sure of getting little or nothing in terms in return help to run the family. That sum of money could get me 4 brand new bikes and 2 neatly used Keke Napep for transportation business. I'm sure I'll be getting returns from these investment weekly or monthly basis.

I don't want who wouldn't have any sense of responsibility at home after investing in her, even if she's covering 10% or 5% I wouldn't mind. Mere helping doesn't go down well with me, she might have and decide not to give out. I rather not invest at all and expect nothing from her.

I don't know if I'm the one over thinking this things or my parent and her mum aren't seeing things from my perspective or am I being inconsiderate?

Criticism, Insults and bashing are welcomed. Thanks

Nazgul:
Beat hell out of him. How can your younger brother openly disrespect you? As long as you keep quiet he'll continue deal with him by teaching him a lesson he'll never forget in his life.

This is not a good advice. A brother who can gather others to mock you will not hesitate to stab you during a fight. Your mum will end up loosing a son or two if you engage in violence. Just ignore him

kenny1111:
Good afternoon everyone,

please I need advice from all parents and Educators and parents on Nairanland. today I just realized my 3years old son cant even read Letters A to F talk less of A to Z but can read Figure 1 to 10, I am seriously worried.

I don't stay at home except for weekends as I am working outside my state, but due to the curfew I find my way back home yesterday so I was able to discover this problem in the early hours of today.

I know the mother is trying cos I have seen different live videos where she was teaching him and working on his assignment, most times I pity the boy so much because of the beating from his mum alone makes me sick but I can't really complain since I know is for his own good and I know how stressful it is for a mother with 2 kids to manage her time and all that....

I called his teacher immediately and she told me my son will be going to Nursery class when the present term is over due to his age, sadly she didn't say things I expect to hear from her so I told her I will visit the school once the curfew is over, I need explanation, is private school that bad these days ? my son can't even write 2 and 3

I have bought Video CD, bought many play book materials containing letters and figures displayed boldly, I bought counting and so on when he was 2 years so i expect a better result by now.

pls sir and ma, I need help on how to guide this boy to learn better, what should I do and how should I go about it.

Note: any time I am home, I always go through his books, assignments and read his school rhymes for him.

pls Help

concerned Daddy

Hian? Do 3 year old read and write? In Europe they go to nursery to play. They actually start learning to read and write when they turn 6.
Please leave the child alone Jo, what is wrong with you sef?

I can smell a husband stabbing woman. Writer! Beware.

supercase1:
I am a general in Nigeria army 3rd battalion Delta state.i can tell you that we the great Nigerian army can defeat China in just one week of battle if we are given the command.even bejing will be captured like sitting ducks we have powerful weapons secretly that even the USA and Russia don't have

Nkata beer parlour. I greet you barman.

I really don't get it.

America claims China invented the virus in Wuhan Lab.

If China invented the virus, what are they going to gain by stealing research on the virus.

If they created It, then they know everything about the virus and most especially the cure.

What is wrong with these American pipu. Always contradicting themselves.

America has over 80,000 deaths. No sign of vaccine yet and they are now claiming China is out and about to steal their unfounded research.
They should cover their face in Shame.

Don't ask for advice here. Too many childish people without experience.

Go to Pastor SHOLA ADEOYE's page on Facebook. RAW family.
You will get candid and spiritual advice from people in marriage.
I am a fan.
Regards
[qquote author=MizJaY post=89104742]Sorry for the long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs.

I'm the quiet type so I have never opened mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. Just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sorts of things.

Honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash the anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. If u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one that has problem. He's too difficult at times.

In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person I am. Calm and quiet.

When I met my husband NYSC days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was the main reason I got close to him cos I wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually through life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but I'm not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach his sick mother in the village I would buy all the foodstuff to send to her.

The way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on the house. He works too and earns but he's salary covers rent and the children's school fees finished. I do the rest but he doesn't appreciate the fact that I sacrifice everything I earn to feeding the house. We are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car and gen, gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam.

if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather I get insults o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o.

I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always the one wrong and he's not � every time.

Sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage.

My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu.

The national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. I'm always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk.

So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warned him. Tho he still attempts once in a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all[/quote]

Eulalia:
At least, six months. So that the vaginal walls that expanded during delivery can can contract back to normal. My mum taught me this and during their time, it was 1 year before they resume. Resuming almost immediately weakens the walls and getting them back together is usually difficult cos it was not given enough time to heal. And that is why mother's of today after one or two children have slack VJ and Begin to run to us for vagina tightening. That was why during our mothers time you hardly find women looking for vagina tightening remedy.

So 6 months to 1 year is fine. It will also help mother and child to stay healthy.

3 - 6 weeks after normal childbirth is a good time to start 're-initiating sexual intercourse . What will the couple be doing for 6 months? Staring at each other and just touching?

Investnow2017:
Have you not read a recent research that herd immunity doesn't work with Covid-19? A Japanese doctor that had worked at the Chinese lab in Wuhan has said that this virus is not natural. He said he had called some lab scientists that he used to work with at that lab and that none of their calls ever got through presuming that likely they must be dead.

The guy is a Nobel Prize winner. He had told the Japanese govt to strip him of his Laurel if they find that he has not told the truth.

And to think that the China govt is going against every effort to ascertain the actual source of this virus is something to worry about.

Disturbing really.
.

A japanese doctor without a name? Please Carry your fake news outa here.

So much for a marriage that will end in a couple of years. The lady will end up celebrating the divorce 64ft beneath the sea.

Dumbass husband.
Vagina yeast infection treatment is what you are here publicly ranting about... can't you protect your wife's privacy?
She wants to keep her private part odourless and prevent yeast infection (toilet disease)
You don't have respect gan. Annoying man.
She should send you back to your father's house.

[1quote author=uncastableodd post=86228990]Good morning everyone.

In the middle of the night today, I tried to look for duvet to cover up my son on bed. I decided to check my wife wardrobe.

I saw a pack of mycoten in the wardrobe. She already slept this time. So I had to chill till this morning to ask her questions.

So, this morning when I asked her, she said it was her mum that gave her bla bla bla..
I saw a piece of paper prescribing that cream for her in that same bag I found the cream.

I googled the uses of mycoten and I found out it was nothing serious because it is use for yeast infection and vagina odour. My wife dont have vagina odour and I understand yeast infection can be gotten from toilet or could be infection of body skin that spread or so.

I actually know she lied about her mummy giving her. But what baffles me is that I got a whatsapp message from her when she was coming from my son school..

She wrote that I nag a lot. That I should give her space. That u think she can't cope without me. She said she will look for work to take care of our son.She said we have been together for six years and I don't even trust her a bit. She said I think she can't leave without her. She didn't even address the issue of allegation of infidelity I threw against her(i deliberately did that #.I replied her I can't give her space in my own house and if she is fed up, she can pack her bags and go to her parent house. I told her if my son is infected or if I am infected , I am going to kill her and hand over myself to police. Immediately she blocked me on whatsapp and I did same. After an hour, she unblocked me.

Could she have been sleeping around her? Or are there any other uses of mycoten I don't know?

In my mind though, the cream I find is not really something to worry about but the message I got and her reaction is what I don't understand.[/quote]

More beautiful is that they called it. " Mosque of Jesus, Son of Mary.
Peacefulness at its peak.

[quote author=Grace001 post=85930707]This is an opportunity for the IGBOS elites to form an Allie with the North, I'm sure the issue of this Amotekun will bring Hausa and Igbo together politically to marginalize the West... Let the gamer use their Joker cards well. [/quotle]

Stupid talk. Igbo and which North? You better go and wash your eyes with water.
The Igbos should quickly create their own regiobla security outfit and call it 'Odum" meaning leopard.
We stand behind the Yorubas on this.

[quote author=E685 post=85924289]Thanks for your input. I'm the primary breadwinner and have always been. Basically I earns double of what she make and I've always paid all the bills. She spend most of her wage on herself ( make -up, clothes, shoes, bags, etc) and only contributes to the food budget if I run out of money completely.[/quote

This your wife will kill you if you do not step up your game.

You are really annoying me. Are u under influence of charm or What?

I can't try this crap your wife is doing with my husband. I learnt my lesson a long time ago.

As a woman, I am telling you that there is no love in your marriage.
All I see is a manipulative woman who thinks she has discovered an asset and she wants to take full control of him and with your mum around she can not fully control you so she wants your mum out of the way.

You are being manipulated young man...wake up. I am a woman and I am telling you. I know how this works
Wake up now or you will be a puppet in 10 years time.
You will become irrelevant once she is done...she will focus on her kids in future cos she has used you, removed you from all your support network and in your 50s you will have a fragmented family...no authority in the home, lonely and end up dying from heartbreak.
Wake up young man, wake up.

If your mum wants to come to see her grand child weekends and this is.making your wife uncomfortable. why don't you and your wife drop off the child with your mum on Fridays evening and pick him up Saturday evening. This will give you both time to spend with each other.

Don't let a woman control you.
We women are powerful and deep beings...we are not as weak as men think.

Wake up.

bummyla:
My Brother Let Them No Kill You With High Blood Pressure!


Plan A Two Weeks Holidays! Take Your Son And Disappear For Two Weeks, Without Telling Anyone! When You Reappear! Tell The both Of Them, if they dont change their ways, na so, you go leave them, disappear for good someday!


https://www.bummyla.com

I concur.

A disappearing act will sort out all this nonsense.
The young man needs to be a man as all this his diplomatic stance has not worked.
He needs to run away into a hideout with his son for four weeks. The women will team up together and become friends by force.
He is the link between both women so when the link is missing. He should make himself scarce....very scarce.
If not he is on his way to an eàrly grave because that woman called his wife will kill him and nothing will happen.

Writer, your ajebo is too much jo...Mr pacifier.

Your wife is a biggest manipulator I have ever seen.

I dont get what your wife is playing at.

Looks like she has already created a bad picture of mothers in law and she is just acting out her beliefs.

Why on earth will she not add ur mom's guest on the wedding list....the height of disrespect.

What impetus! A son ur mum spent so many years to raise then during his wedding you refuse to invite her guests...ur wife dey crase?

She don see husband...if your mama no train you well, where she for see man marry?
I have read your post over and over and I am sorry I don't like your wife...(My opinion as a woman married over 15 years) She is not a nice person..
Your wife needs Counselling my brother. Life is waiting for us all. Very soon we will all become mothers in law in a very short time....very short time and what goes around always comes around

Ifyjos:
She did not love me at all because if she did , she would have support me with love and advices telling me things like having a child at tender age it’s not the end of the world , you can do better things in life instead she made me loose my confidence and motivation. Well yes you are right , she doesn’t owe me anything at all and she should have mind her business and let my guy and I leave in peace

Ehm....come! Defender of the boyfriend. Can you please shut up and let people talk. You brought the case for us to judge abi. Stop distracting the post.
You said you were feeling bad and that is why u brought it to this forum. You have not heeded any advice nor made any apologetic statement so far. You have been defending your actions. Do you even want a solution? Go and live with your perfect lover and leave nairaland people alone.

I still believe your story is a lie though. I am sure you are lying down somewhere enjoying that we are responding to this your unbelievable useless story.

Meliian:
Her sister got her locked up in a cell too! What are you people saying sef? What kind of sister does that? Can you order the arrest of your own family? Look, the both of them are culpable in this. The elder sister is every bit as sinister as the op. I hope hey can forgive each other.

What are you saying sef? The boyfriend and her sister joined and beat her up in her own house. Why will she not lock them up. The ops left that part out. Imagine coming home to find a silly paedophile on your bed with your sister in the name of yeye love. A total NFA that you are fending for his child and so called girlfriend. You shout and together they both attack you. Why will you not call police to arrest them both

Infact the whole story sef sound like lie. E be like Tales by moonlight. I cant be wasting my ink on top of lie lie story.

Mind your business and walk away. Don't stick your nose in another person's business. It maybe an arrangement between the couple...the person may even be her brother or cousin. Just mind your business. Period!

healthserve:
It's not the cloth. Every war like this is being executed by a puppeteer in the dark, someone behind the scenes wants her to have the right of victinization(the husband beating her without any wrongs) so she can leave and then the individual will come in and take her place. She needs to know however imperfect what she has is, someone wants it at all cost and is pulling the strings strategically



Someone wants her place and the husband is under manipulation. Simple

Cc Bukatyne

She should give him a few days to calm down and go and make peace.This matter is not good enough reason to end her marriage as She has not decribed her husband as a perpetual wife beater

My Sister,
How long have u been married?
Wetin concern you concern wetin your Husband wear. Leave him alone ooo. Men don't like that kind thing. He feels you are trying to.dictate his life. I have been there.
Beating you was a build up. Abeg dress well and if na jeans im wan wear. Leave am ooo. For your peace of mind. And again mind you over correcting your Husband breeds anger. Men want to be in charge. No be you dey tell am wetin to wear before im marry you....
I have been there and learnt from experience. Nnem...Leave am abeg make im wear wetin e like. Except he asks and says honey, how is this outfit....keep your mouth pim.

franchasng:
What made Jude to start disliking Lola was this:

Lola came into Peter's life mainly because she saw that he and his twin had talent and she knew one or two contacts to get them shows. She saw it as an opportunity to make money for herself.

So she came in as one trying to help them grow and get more shows of which she tried her best and due to Jude's ability to produce quality songs made by Peter and Paul, Psquare were able to get shows, later endorsements and money.

Peter and Lola started dating.

Lola noticed that Jude was getting a big share of Psquare's earnings, she didn't like it, her reason: why would your elder brother be earning that big for being an ordinary artist manager, it's not cool, I don't like it.

He has to take less while u and your twin bro take the biggest cos u guys are the ones singing and dancing.

With time, Jude noticed Lola didn't like him because he was earning big as his brother's manager. He got angry that a stranger lady is just coming in from nowhere to dictate how things should be run in their family.

His dislike for Lola started and he started to advice his younger brother Peter not to continue with Lola but Peter won't listen cos he loved the Yellow Pawpaw lady being that she was the most beautiful woman he could ever get in his life being a broke guy that just came in from Jos to Lag, Lola was a classy goddess to Peter, he couldn't let go

The enmity between Lola and Jude continued as Jude hoped Peter won't marry Lola after all, Peter went ahead and married Lola against most of their family members' disapproval.

Why did most Okoye family members disapprove Peter marrying Lola The same music business money sharing formula issue Lola started out of her over sabi and over ambition as a wild lady that has gone far and wild.

So it is Lola that started the hatred.

If she had ignored how they shared their revenue happily before she came in and just mind her business, there wouldn't have been issues.

If u are honest, u and I know that majority of black women are fond of trying to persuade their man to stop doing things the way he used to do with his friends and Biz associates as soon as she steps in.

They will always want to dictate how things should he done and how their man should relate with people, and this does not always end well for men that allow it.

This is same thing Aisha Buhari has been trying to do between Buhari and his extended family of the Dauras.

But Buhari and the Dauras aren't giving her chance to do that.

Lol..see analysis! Where on earth did U get all this info? Na wa ooo.

Abdulnur:
How about a Palestinian boy crying while taking the corpse of his younger brother shot by Israeli soldiers.

or
A boy crying while watching a cruise missile being launch by Assad/Saudi/US/Houthi towards his town.

What is your own bro? We already know that the world is engulfed with wierd issues. the poor lad is simply mourning his own loss of his beloved dog..stop the juxtaposing.

My dear Sister, do not...I repeat, do not change the name to his name oooo ...Come to a compromise....Agree to change the name but to that of your First Son or First daughter. Dont allow sentiment cover your eyes ooo.I have seen this before. In the event that he throws you out, another women will be brought in to eat the fruit of your Labour. Please be wise....and again, avoid bringing Pastors into your family talk...try to resolve the issue within yourselves. Again, stop acting so desperate begging him like that. Tell him your concession and Leave him. When he is tired, he will come back home...over begging will make him adamant...he would not have begged you that way when he threw you out. Be wise...love with your heart but use your head.

This is the most baseless post I have ever seen. Very myopic and shallow. So because of property, you will not have a registry marriage? How do you and especially your wife prove that she is married and that the kids are not born out of wedlock.

The poster forgets that women contribute 50:50 in the relationship. His shallow mind is only seeing the property. If she has got kids for you and takes the 50%,property after divorce are your children not still benefactors?
Please people should not come here to show how shallow they are in their reasoning

Don't be worried about tee surname. My husband has a different surname too. He took up the new surname when he came to Europe. I and the children use the new surname. He is known by a different name and surname entirely back in Nigeria. Do I care? No! I have been happily married for 15 years. Please rest your fears if you are worried about the surname alone. His permanent residence will definitely be in his new surname ain't? So why are you worried? About, All the other issues you have raised about his business and another wife, he may want to marry a Nigerian wife due to family pressure but it has nothing to do with changing his surname.

Daddy freeze got it wrong.... so wrong. He just brought himself very low by towing the way of Nnamdi Kanu. When one has been giving a calling for social change, They should focus on the the change message and don't take things personal by resorting to spreading hate and raining insult on others . His calling even though it had a just cause will not last. He has failed the test.