₦airaland Forum

shdemidemi: That is the problem, you have gone back to the law, 'sin'. A believer can't be a sinner even if he commits the act, he is dead to sin.

@shdemidemi,

My friend, your theology is a twisted and deceptive theology that you simply cannot trace back to Jesus. Also, it is a dangerous notion to hold in the secular world as you may end up on the wrong side of the law.

If ‘a believer can’t be a sinner even if he commits the act…’ please kindly explain how then do believers fall short of grace?

Jesus taught about consequences all day long; Lazarus and the Rich Man, the Parable of the Sheep and Goat, the Ten Virgins, the Prodigal Son, Parable of the Talent and so on.

So regardless to whatever anyone says in here, one thing I know for sure is that there are consequences for every action in life, whether you believe in Christ or not. In other words, please do not go to the 49th floor of New York Marriott Marquis and jump out of the window while proclaiming Jesus, grace or freedom from law. Because once you jump you would have jumped into a law; a law that relates to falling bodies, and you will descend to a painful consequence at the rate of 32 feet per second. Because in life (spiritual and temporal) there are consequences and proclaiming grace does not release you from the law and its consequences in any spheres of existence to which your soul might be exposed.

To me, grace is the power given to believers by GOD to desire HIS divine will and to be able to do or live according to HIS divine will.

Grace is definitely not a license to live a licentious life with no moral compass, no boundaries, no discipline, no worthy character, and yet hold on to Jesus as a shortcut plan or insurance policy to heaven. Any person truly imbued with the spirit of true guidance (the Holy Spirit) will tell you that it is a comedic/laughable plan and approach to enter the glorious Kingdom of GOD.

I would encourage you to review and align your lifestyle using the standard of GOD as outlined by the word of Jesus.

Goshen360: Chei, @ Danfo,

I think you need to understand that messages of Jesus under the law was 'coded'. When Paul says it was 'revealed' to him. It must then mean it was first hidden or coded, then it has to be unloosed or interpreted by someone that have the revelation or someone it was revealed to. There's no contradictions between Christ and Paul - Paul revealed Christ's revelation, if it 'seems' contradictory, then you have a work to do - STUDY!

Lol..Yes sir!

DrummaBoy: @Danfo

There is no contradiction btw Jesus and Paul. Anyone who gives U the impression that the truth of the Bible is simple and easy to understand is lying: these truth can only be spiritually discerned, after the word had been rightly divided.

Jesus operated under the law but he minister but to the Jews and to the coming gentile church. Jesus made it clear that much of His message will come by the Spirit of God, after his death. Now, whether it is Jesus or Paul, the end product must be good works if not there had been no new birth.

However, Paul is emphasized by Bible teachers bc he was the apostle to the gentiles; His message was crafted for the Church age, following the end of the law.

The message of Paul emphasized the finished work of the cross and faith in it for salvation. But we see from Gal 5:22 that the end of it all must be love and good works.

Paul does not contradict Jesus at all, rather Paul shed greater light on Jesus' teaching following the cross.

@ DrummaBoy,

Thank you for the rejoinder.

I beg to differ with you though. I feel there are abundant contradictions between Jesus and Paul. I give you some of them:

Paul says:
Rom.7
[10] The very commandment which promised life proved to be death to me.

Jesus says:
Matt.19
[17] And he said to him, Why do you ask me about what is good? One there is who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.

Paul says:
Rom.3
[28] For we hold that a man is justified by faith apart from works of law.
Rom.5

Jesus says:
Matt.12
[37] for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.

If you have someone representing you in this manner it can be rightly said that both of you have a difference of opinion on the subject matter.

Who ‘crafted’ Paul’s message for a specific age? I thought the Christ message is a timeless message for all Ages or Dispensation? Also, by whom and for whom was it crafted? ….Crafted? Really?....

Your statement about the bible not being simple and easy to understand is fallacious, erroneous. Yes, the Word is spiritual. Like Jesus said in (John 6:63): My words are sprit and they are life. And yes we have to be discerning to know their deeper meaning for our inner growth. But I respectfully submit to you that there is nothing complex or intricate about the scenario and standard of measurement described by Jesus in Matthew 25:31-45. (The Parable of the Sheep and the Goat). A very simple and straightforward message from the Master.

I feel the common assumption that the bible can only be understood by ‘expert; is the reason why there are so many de-nominations of churches today.

Also, I cannot understand statements like: ‘the end of the law’, I do not recollect Jesus ever mentioning the end of the Law? What I read in Matthew 5:17-20 are:
17 - "Do not think that I have come to do away with the Law of Moses and the teachings of the prophets. I have not come to do away with them, but to make their teachings come true.
18 - Remember that as long as heaven and earth last, not the least point nor the smallest detail of the Law will be done away with---not until the end of all things.
19 - So then, whoever disobeys even the least important of the commandments and teaches others to do the same, will be least in the Kingdom of heaven. On the other hand, whoever obeys the Law and teaches others to do the same, will be great in the Kingdom of heaven.
20 - I tell you, then, that you will be able to enter the Kingdom of heaven only if you are more faithful than the teachers of the Law and the Pharisees in doing what God requires.

The Last time I looked, heaven and earth had not passed away.

It is certain that if Jesus were to come back today, he will have to be taught under an intensive lecture series to start to even understand what is now being taught in his name. Even after the series of lectures I doubt he will be able to pass an exam in the multitudinous and variant teachings. The reason being that, what is now being taught in his name is so far from his simple teachings.

This topic is a very good example. People, like the OP, are so caught up in their edifying, intellectual discourse and debates, nursing each other egos by agreeing here and disagreeing there. It appears one need a very good educational background nowadays to understand Christianity enough to accept and follow Christ Jesus.

To me the OP’s position and others like it are a bit contrived and confusing to a simple believer like myself; but definitely not edifying. However this is not surprising, because the topic itself and the opinions it has generated are mostly based upon the writings of Paul. Paul who appeared unable to make up his mind regarding salvation.

Yes, Yes I know. I know I have offended someone and the rage is now on. But let me finish what I started, I beg.

When asked by a lawyer what the most important commandment in the LAW was, Jesus answered with references from the Old Testament. He said that the GREATEST LAW was to love GOD (Deuteronomy 6:5) and the second was to love your neighbour as yourself (Leviticus 19:18). This is reported in Matthew 22:36-40 and in Luke 10:25-37.

In the Luke text, the lawyer principally asks what is necessary for eternal life (verse 25) and after Jesus references the two GREAT commandments, he says "This DO and you will live" (verse 28).

To an uncomplicated mind, these should show clearly that salvation is related to works/deeds/actions, although faith might be a motivating factor for such behavior.

You will note that in the Luke version, Jesus’s response was illustrated by the parable of the Good Samaritan. The ‘Good Samaritan’ which is today what we use to define “a good neighbor”. According to Jesus the Samaritan is the one who represent and provides the example of one who is saved through their compassionate actions. Remember that the Samaritan is not even a believer, not one having "faith" and not one who has accepted Jesus as savior, however this is the character Jesus chose as the example of one who gains eternal life, in answer to the specific question of the lawyer.

Thus, I can safely conclude that Jesus teaches us that the kingdom of heaven will be filled with those who lived their lives in active compassion and childlike innocence (purity of intention). To me, Paul envisions a heaven made up of hard, serious, selfish and calculating minds that merely have to profess "acceptance of" or "belief in" Jesus without necessarily ever actually performing a single kind, compassionate deed.

In his final teaching before going to the upper room for the Last Supper, Jesus described in Matthew 25:31-45 that the final judgment is based solely and entirely on our behaviour and responses to compassion. By this Jesus makes it very clear that those who DO express universal and common compassion in their action WILL BE SAVED, and those who do not will NOT be saved. Period.

I think it is wishful thinking to maintain that there is any other qualification other than the one given by the Master himself. It appears that people are looking for a shortcut to heaven.

I leave you with just two out of many other verses why I think Paul was ambiguous, undecided, or uncomfortable about whether salvation is by grace or work.

Ephesians 2: 8-9
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Philipians 2:12-13
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, WORK OUT YOUR OWN SALVATION with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.

To @Cashion, who asked: but no one asked u all these!
There is a great debate/dispute today about the contradictions between Jesus and Paul. This ongoing discourse, I think, is the underlying reason why the OP opened the thread in the first place.

I think the answer can be found in the fact that Jesus' genealogy was traced through Joseph.

Matthew's genealogy traces it through the literal parentage of Joseph.

Matthew 1:

verse 6 : and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, and Mary was the mother of Jesus who is called the Messiah.

verse 17 : Thus there were fourteen generations in all from Abraham to David, fourteen from David to the exile to Babylon, and fourteen from the exile to the Messiah.

....

I came across the Youtube video and thought I’d share. She is definitely an uncommon character as an African, especially as a Yoruba girl.




http://www.youtube.com/embed/NVS0KKj6zkM

hisableplc: Still on this TOPIC....hahan i beg jor.... moderator close thread hahan person wey one marry self no talk reach this na una just dey increase volume of thread this post go collect award if u r not creful oh person join NL few days and post only one topic waka comot una dey here dey talk fight o ga oh because of one man abi.

I offfially close this thread

THREAD CLOSED.
GBAM

I agree, totally.

Now you all know what's up...

https://www.nairaland.com/1283339/worst-time-visit-obj

[quote author=truelove.com]Hahahahahaha, my man which one come be unsettled, she need husdand and am 100% ready 2be her husband. @happyness chima, pls drop ya number[/quote]@truelove.com,

Are you serious? You keep urging her to drop her number. If she does you might not get through because the line will be busy for weeks with settled, half-settled and permanently unsettled guys calling her. Be careful what you wish bro

It's actually funny to hope the OP will ever make public her number..she's too popular to do that, I sense.

[quote author=truelove.com]Am available, if your serious. Thats my pic below(remember that love aint about number)[/quote]Laughing out loud....you just disqualified yourself for being too lazy to rotate the pic....you expect the OP to strain her neck?..

Jokes apart, you look 'un-settled'..sorry..

Vikin: See ur head!
Also using your methodology to deduce that I never contribute anything meaningful and intellectually bankrupt!

Nothing you said here that has not been said by previous posters even your so called deduction.

What you fail to see is that pride can be negative and also positive.


Def: Pride is an inwardly directed emotion that carries two common meanings. With a negative connotation, pride refers to an inflated sense of one's personal status or accomplishments, often used synonymously with hubris. With a positive connotation, pride refers to a satisfied sense of attachment toward one's own or another's choices and actions, or toward a whole group of people, and is a product of praise, independent self-reflection, or a fulfilled feeling of belonging.ref. wiki

From the way she was going, she meant no harm! I don't see why she should not celebrate her success.

Let those that cannot fit into her lifestyle give way!

Except she is ready to endure most things

But u should be shot with this your deduction method, even God himself have pride in him.

Your comments are very comedic, including the one about GOD, because Jesus said: for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest to your souls.

This your mind-set is what makes good men afraid to come near successful ladies.

I'm happy to know you are into comedy just like me. Cheers mate!

By the way, you do not have a gun big enough to shoot me. Dream on!

Dreamflyin: Abegii, u self get d pride, even a bigger one. U tinks dat u ar on a higher moral/intelligence pedestal above everyone.
Bro, pride is an innate tin in every human being. We all got it. Who wants to knw if u ar a professional wat.(analyssss, abi analysian, someone shuld pls teach me gud englisss).
We all got PRIDE!

@Dreamflyin,

You are actually missing the main star of the topic:The OP looking for opinions.

Do not reduce the topic to my own stupidity, intelligence, imbecility, or 'pride'.This is nothing about me.

I reserve the right to comment about my line of work. You will also notice that I directed the comment about my profession specifically to @biolabee. And this comment neither adds to nor subtract from the OP's quest for candid opinions.

Please make sensible contribution (s) if you can, but stop trivializing the issue.

Vikin: And you have to type all this while deducing?

@Viking,

I am an human not a robot, so yes I did type all of that because I care enough for a troubled mind seeking answers from strangers she might never ever meet in real life.

I know your type; intellectually bankrupt , lethargic in mind, never contributing anything meaningful, yet criticizing those who makes an effort.

I beg comot make I see front...

biolabee: I love your analytical methods though feel you were too hasty in adjudging her prideful
20/20 for effort!

@biolabee,

Thanks for the 'effort marks' (20/20).Professionally I am an high level Analyst.

Personals apart, no there is no hastiness here. You see, the instrumentation or tools for identifying a problem is constantly provided by means of words.In other words, when you start talking/commenting an expert will identify your core/central issue(s) right away.

And if I identify pride as the issue here why do I have to wait to state my honest opinion. Wait till when? Shey you understand?

As far as I know the OP is here for frank and honest opinions not some stupid, sycophantic, nursery, and senseless comments people makes which has no impact on her desire for a solution.

@OP,

I have reviewed your initial post and subsequent comments and I think I have an apt response to your statement: but I don't know what I’m doing wrong.

From your comments you gave ample indications, thus I will use extracts from same comments to highlight what you are doing wrong, in my view.

Here we go:

1. I have a good job and travel to the UK often. (Deduction: Pride)

2. All the men that approach me either are unsettled yet or one problem or the other. (Deduction: Pride)

3. Sorry if I offended anyone by mentioning UK. What I meant to explain is I'm always on holidays to London to relax and expand my search for a husband. I work in rotational shifts so when I get 4 weeks off, I like to use it to travel which is like 5-6 times a year. I'm not bragging or showing off. I don't even go for shopping or live lavish when I visit there. Maybe it wasn't worth mentioning so I'm sorry. (Deduction: ….even in apologising for showing pride you convey pride)


4. Jehovah!! What kind of rest-less married woman are you biko? You said no salary in Nigeria will afford 5 trips to the UK? that shows ur financial level. I have nothing to say b[i]ut whats so special about this UK that has been biting you this woman since[/i]. I even apologized that I want others to understand what I do with my life and how I spend my time so they can advice because its biting u seriously. Flight ticket to London is only 90K. You claim to know everything abt wild girls and their lifestyle. How did you know all these if u were not one of them? I passed out from unijos by the age of 23. I'm not baby for you to boss around online. Is this how you treat your single friends? Show me one woman that has never had a suitor abroad. What have I done to warrant all this insults? (Deduction: Your reaction to criticism is self-justification and loss of decorum; Pride is present)

5. Is it wrong that I mentioned UK? I even came back to clarify. She wants to ridicule me for no reason. If I knew how inconsiderate people can be, I won't open a topic like this. (Deduction: your reaction to criticism is self-importance and loss of decorum ; Pride is present)


6. When you meet a man that's not settled, they usually bring their baggage to me and as a single woman I don't think I should be feeding any man. (Deduction: Pride)



My sister, I can deduce from this distance that you are a very independent young lady. Let me even go as far as saying that you are been modest when you say you are employed, I would say you are self- employed. You are worth millions of Naira and you certainly have a large circle of friends at home and abroad. This standard of living has made you become prideful and given you a sense of high expectations in your relationships and quest for a husband.

I can surmise that you have an ideal man in mind, and the ideal man has to be successful, perhaps ‘settled’ like Tyler Perry but definitely not a Spike Lee type because looks is also very important to you. Your social status has made you create an elusive Eldorado (a man in shining armour riding a resplendent white horse). But know those are the stuff fairy tales are made of. An elusive Eldorado only blinds girls, temporarily, to present realities and the result is rancour and wistfulness at age 30+.

I sincerely think that you have this instinct and pride which have made you to build a secure unit/prison around yourself. So you exist in a state of schizophrenia where you are both the guard and the prisoner. And having been lobotomised by these double roles (unreal duality) you no longer have the capacity to leave the prison that you made, or even see it as a prison.

Thus I bring you release today. I bring you release by saying set it free! Set pride loose in the name of Christ Jesus! Damn it, let it go!

You are not in this world to live to no one’s expectations. Stop thinking people expect you to manufacture a perfect man to marry because there is no such. If you are sincere in talking about marriage you cannot be prideful or boastful regardless of your success so far. Your search for a lifetime partner should not be based on material success. Rich people have been known to become poor and vice versa. For marriage you must look for someone who will love you for who you are and not for your money or popularity, and you also must do the same. Presently, your expectation seems too high. Too high that you even went international in the search. Forgive me if I am wrong, but most likely your father was not wealthy when he met your mother, and yet your mother loved him enough to marry him, and look at what they produced, an independent and prosperous lady.

If you find a man with a good heart and love for you, you can build him up if he has nothing of his own, and he in turn can bring you satisfaction and peace, and happiness in ways that money can never do.

I want you to know that if your desire for a man is guided by GOD then the ideal union will arise between you and a worthy man. But if you choose by what dominates you now (materialism); then you might regret it.

Finally, know that all things have their time and from hurry comes harm. So take your time, let prayer, humility, due diligence, and sincerity guide you in your search. Do not disregard any suitor just because they are not ‘settled’, but by means of prayer let GOD reveal the heart and mind of the suitors to you so you can make a creditable shortlist of suitors to work on to find the man for you.

I pray that my words will be meaningful to you.

I close by saying that, I sincerely wish you the best. May GOD hear your prayers and bless you with a good man that will truly be a worthy lifetime companion for you under all circumstances as you journey through earth-life. Amen

biolabee: I agree that s.ex and trust is a central component of any relationship but I am relating based on your premise that the relationship is dead
 
I never assumed you were immature sorry if that was how you read it
But you have to agree to experience is a key component of maturity and a lot of the posters talking so far have not seen much which is why they are so gung ho
 
You referred to the brother as wimpish because is strung out on his wifes punny..  
He has said he is not about the sex but the times they’ve shared together
 
One of my exes I dated for two years but it did not work. It took me another year or so to get over her not to talk of YOUR WIFE
 
Note I myself may not be able to stomach this but I also know many of our parents had challenges that if we hear 50 percent of, our ears will sting
Do you know some mothers were married in by their husbands even though they knew they had multiple boyfriends .. why? LOVE
I know of someone who took his wife back after she committed a trespass like this (after two kids) why? SAME LOVE
 
That’s why it cant be explained
 
My examples
Rahab was nationally known as a harlot yet someone married her.
IBB loved Miriam and ensured he got her by all means
 
One may have more clothes than an old person but you can never have enough rags as the old person
EXPERIENCE IS IMPORTANT!

And you assume I have no experience?..this is laughable. Be careful in making assumptions on age, education, life experience, status, etc because you really never know who you are talking to online; but never mind, lets leave it at that.

Take good care of yourself little Sis.

WhyMe222: Viola! Some of your analysis align with my thoughts exactly. I laugh at your regarding me as a wimp. A good man/hubby is slow to anger because most times, actions resulting from anger are usually always regretted. I am a realist by nature in view of my person and the constellations that control my being if you believe in zodiacs. I analyze issues before reaching a conclusion which usually is irreversible as I must have weighed the pros and cons. To add to that, I was trained to uphold my principles by my father which he said are the virtues of a real man. I drilled her thoroughly to understand the rational behind her action and her answers were "I sincerely can not explain what happened or how it got to this point".

Well, thank you everyone for your contributions. They are all weighty and have their strength and weaknesses. I have done several online research, read my Bible "even though I wouldn't want to make quotes", the Bible made it clear in the New Testament that the only reason a man can leave his wife is on the grounds of infidelity. There was never a clause that absorbs the action as a fallout of the man's philandering nature or inability to cater for his wife emotionally and physically. I want to state equivocally here that I never did fall short in my duties as a husband. It might not always all be rosy as it is part of the make-up of the life we live in for there to be seasons. The bible also made mention of a "virtuous woman" which I had expected her as a married woman and every other married woman to tow such path.

I did both registry and church wedding as demanded to know by some respondents.

My decision to cover her up did not stem from the fact that I am a wimp or that she is the bread winner (she is not) of my house, it is borne out of genuine love not to ridicule her and turn her a laughing stock amongst her friends, neighbors and colleagues. What do i stand to gain if I ridicule her? I don't pay evil for evil. Her parents will sure get to know because I won't want them to have the impression that I used and dumped their daughter. I have fought a good fight but it all seems I am loosing in every front. When I sit back and analyze the whole thing, I can't find any grounds to stand on to begin the healing and repair of the damage done. Maybe if it had happened once, and just maybe around this time when our girl has passed the early infant age and again protection used, it will be pardonable and most likely easier too.

I thank you all and I pray when it is eventually over, God will give me a woman who will see the good man in me and hold sacred her vow, see herself as the mother of the house, make a concerted effort to be the "virtuous woman" to me as described in the bible.

I appreciate you all.

Reading the above actually made tears well up in my eyes because by these comments you just showed that you are indeed a man with principle, decency of character, well-cultured, thoughtful, and with no hint of maliciousness. A very rare trait in this time.

If I have a hat on right now I would have taken it off to show respect to your father for your upbringing, and also to you for living the life and principle of your upbringing.

Permit me to say that I did not mean to be disrespectful to you for using the word 'wimp'.The word is dictionary, and I was only trying to suggest the need to be bold. Apologies for any offense, if any.

From the bottom of my heart I pray that GOD, the Perfect Guide, will instruct you with clear signs on the best course of action to take on this most sensitive matter.

I wish you the best now and in the future.

Goodbye my friend.

biolabee: Dude fighting for a woman you love is not about the s3x and that is where guys always mess it up especially single guys that assume marriage is only about s3x

The sum total of experiences you have that have defined you as a person with that loved one are worth cherishing

Django went for his woman though he knew she had been abused

In the bible, Rahab was known as the harlot was married by someone and she became jesus's ancestor

IBB married mariam who had had another child for another man

Love is what it is - can't be explained or analysed

There are some people who will still want to be with the person they met in their former life
It's not about s3x brah but I know for you guys that thing is very key

Una go mashurr with time

@biolabee,

Whoever said its all about sex. Sex is only one component of married life , but it is a very central component because it is associated with trust and faithfulness.

The examples you gave (IBB, Rahab,) had nothing to do with betrayal of trust, does it?

Please never assume that everybody on nairaland is a boy or a girl and thus immature.You will be surprised to know that not only your highness is 'mashuur'

Winneygirl: @All,
.
I think the Op has done enough hard analysis over the last couple of months. Let's stop rubbing this issue in his face. No one feels his pain like he does.
.
He needs some breathing space. Please Op, take it. I believe U will come out strong.

@Winneygirl,

I don't think it's your place say the above.

The OP opened the thread because he wanted comments to his situation. If he thinks he's had enough opinions let him say that himself.

Toks2008: CHAI! You are mean. See analysis. Bro all you wrote make sense but not too impossible to pardon.

This sex thing sef is like a feeling that once gratified becomes non and void habba!

My point is clear, if you check the past and you believe she is worth forgiving then do just that.

Nothing will ever make me give up my wife for another man simply because she got intimate with another man, maybe for 4 months when i have been having sweet moments with her for years.

So i should give her up to that man to have her permanently abi?

OP if you love your wife and she is willing to sincerely repent then forgive her haha na wetin? We all have turned divorce to two for one naira.Whether Adultery or not, The word of GOD says in Malachi 2:16 ""[b]For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel[/b]To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.".

This is a painful story no doubt but protect your wife and protect your marriage. Your wife is also your daughter, your sister and your friend. Let love override your anger.

@Toks2008,

You make me laugh in Irish...

But jokes apart, I am not being mean to the OP, rather I'm being very honest. It's all about self-preservation.

Toks, I wish you would lay out the details of your issues with your wife and let my egregore analyse it for you.At the moment you are giving incoherent snippets of your situtaion to counsel the brother OP, and I think this is insufficient in my view.

Permit me to also say that, your orientation of mind of fighting with another man over a disloyal woman ( when the woman is meant to submit totally and trustingly to you as her husband) is very funny, laughable, wimpish, and seems to be a sex-dependent attitude.

By sex dependent I mean you (Toks) seem to love sex too much and you see your wife as an object of sex or a sexual property to fight over. But I respectfully submit to you that sex without trust is a joke within a marriage context. You trying to a build a home (including raising children) with a woman whose mind, heart, and possibly 'center of gravity' is elsewhere is like rehearsing for a major stand-up comedy. It will certainly make people laugh at the end.

Be good!

WhyMe222: You have just spoken like you were living inside my head. The few times I have tried ĺ♡√Ɛ making, it was appalling. I could not be the man I use to be. All through the brief session I struggled and I couldn't help the flashing images on my head. Worst when she makes a sound in pleasure. Oh God help me.

OP,

If you can still say the above with the amount of quality advice people have given you so far, then it is clear that you are not a realist, and only your un-emotional self can see clearly enough to reach a sensible decision that will be good for you and all concerned in the long term.

Let me help you to understand using extracts and apt deductions from your initial post and one subsequent comment:

1. ‘I found out my wife was having an affair with her senior colleague in the office who also doubles as a family friend. (Deduction: She can kill you without much thought or regret if situation demands it)

2. The subject of the mail that excited my curiosity. The subject says "Ifemi" which in Yoruba means "My Love".
(Deduction: She does not love you one bit. The sex with the ‘family friend’ was more than sex for it has love as a component. Your discovery of the affair cannot erase that love that easily)

3. What is more disturbing is that they were having unprotected sex while my baby was still bosom feeding (no wonder my smart girl stopped suckling at 5 months).
(Deduction: She values the illicit affair more than any physical, spiritual impact it might have on her daughter. If her newly-born daughter’s health could not inhibit the affair, then you stand very little chance of doing so. Especially if she can sleep with him while still fresh from childbirth, then you can safely assume that he was sleeping with her while she was pregnant with your ‘adorable daughter’. Sad but true.)

4. Our marriage will be 4 years in a couple of month’s time and is blessed with an adorable daughter.
(Deduction: Yes you are right it appears the innocent little girl is the only blessed thing about the union, and even that blessedness has been tainted by the circumstances during her pregnancy and immediately after. Imagine a child in the womb of a woman having sex with a family friend. That action has some deep spiritual connotation I can’t even start explaining here)

5. They both claimed it was a mistake. While I am battling to believe them, it will be of interest to note that, they didn't go to bed just once which nullifies the claim of it being a mistake. And it will be foolhardy for anyone to believe that. One cannot make a mistake twice. The second time usually is a choice that is dully premeditated.
(Deduction: This shows you as a wimp and a laughing stock to both of them. I will be willing to bet they have slept with each other again since your so called ‘discovery’)

6. Funny enough, because I didn't want the news to go ballistics, I covered up for them when the man's wife stumbled on their BBM chat too and stormed my house with the man spoiling for war.
(Deduction: This shows you as a wimp and a laughing stock to both of them. I will be willing to bet they have slept with each other again since your so called ‘discovery’. You are a strange one for sure!)


7. My wife has it all; beauty and brains. Like the few people both male and female will say when they see her picture either on my phone or ipad "Guy, you carry eye enter wife market".
(Deduction: You are infatuated with her and very much afraid to lose her because you have low self esteem and opinion of your worth. You have concluded that you may not find her type of beauty and ‘intelligence’ again. And this is why you even refuse to tell any family including the family friends’ wife, because even you know they will drive her away without hesitation. Bro, you are on dangerous ground because you are dealing with an intelligent mind that has no morals or inhibitions. You are dealing with a knowledgeable mind without character. Tread carefully bro!

Also remember the Bible says: Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

I conclude by saying that, do not allow emotion or even logic to rule you, rather let barefaced naked truth and self-preservation guide your decisions so you may remain safe to live out your life happily. If you think you can ever trust her again, or that somehow the memory of the betrayal will fade away then the joke is certainly on you bro, because the mind never ever forget.Indeed, the mind of man doesn't do FORGET.If it happened your mind will recollect it, unless you have amnesia, which is another line of topic entirely.

Again, I say all the best to you!

OP,

Having examined all your comments thus far, I can tell you from John Street that she was not prepared to stop the infidelity, if not that you found out unexpectedly.

The implication of the above statement is that SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN under permitting circumstances.Take it or leave it alone.

The call is definitely yours bro... but know that if she stays SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN.

Best wishes to you in arriving at a wise decision on this very sensitive matter.

Baba eats 6 loaves of Agege bread + lots of akara which he hides under d table. If u happen to visit Baba at bfast, he will entertain u & make u laf till he finishes d loaves. Baba does not invite anyone to join him in his sacred morning deckings.

...

Lucky Dube's voice sounded so much like Peter Tosh's voice when singing. And I find it ironic that Peter Tosh was also 43 years of age when he was shot.

Lucky was a musical genius.

May GOD have mercy upon the departed soul of Lucky Dube. Amen.

What are u going to do for us?

I am a self-motivated individual with the strength of character, and ambition to achieve at the highest level. I am confident with numbers and well-organized. I am also a team player who is competent in communicating effectively and relating well to people. I believe these qualities will enable me to make tremendous contributions to the achievement of your organisational goals.




What is a mechanical engineer coming to do in a bank/where does a mechanical engineer fit in the staff structure of a bank?
My study of mechanical engineering has helped me to develop a range of skills, in particular those of analyzing and interpreting complex information and presenting opinions and conclusions in oral and written forms. And I believe these skills will help me in carrying out my tasks efficiently and also in bringing meaningful solutions to the complex/critical issues of your organization.



Won't you be better off in another firm?
I have chosen your firm because your organisation is a premier employer; the quality of training and support available, and because it offers me the privilege of working and growing within one of the leading/ outstanding/ reputable employer in  financial services in Nigeria and around the world.


Hope this is not too late, and that it helps. Good luck!

Whoever wins 2007 presidential election, do you think EFCC has any chance of survival?

My own view is that it will be scrapped so quick Nuhu Ribadu will doubt EFCC ever existed.

Whoever wins 2007 presidential election, do you think EFCC has any chance of survival?

My own view is that it will be scrapped so quick Nuhu Ribadu will doubt EFCC ever existed.

Thinking out aloud:

.......Hmmmm... why are the people rejoicing to see him, can't they see that he is their open enemy depriving them of the means of good living?...

Dr Tonye David-West wrote a prophetic article some weeks ago titled:

WHEN ALAMIEYESEIGHA RETURNS

"In the depraved psyche of the Nigerian, Alamieyeseigha, in all likelihood will return home to a robust and roaring reception if the British authorities spare him a hefty jail term for his alleged crime of money laundering. This expected reception will be consistent with the meaning of his name, "Diepreye" - "this is my own share, ......"

http://nigeriaworld.com/feature/publication/david-west/100405.html

Tonye my good friend was obviously right.